viii. She reached his shoulder as one of her last struggles. But when he turned back, she was gone faster than expected.

Live life. Take pictures. Relive memories. Repeat.

That was a quote Yuna came across one day. Her life was always as packed as a crammed train, and she never thought she would have the time to reminisce about the past. There was nothing much to reminisce about, anyway.

But as she gained more and more memories, both with Soonyoung and her members,  another kind of fear had also settled in her.

Could she really feel so happy? Would all the happiness she had dissipate eventually and vanish into thin air?

As such pessmistic thoughts invaded her mind, the camera she had felt even heavier than usual. She shook her head. There was no way that would happen. Soonyoung, her parents, members and teacher were all supporting her on the sidelines. They were still there watching her perform her dance, and sometimes joining in the dance as well. She refused to believe that there would be an eventual end to their time together... at least, not any time soon. There were still so many things she wanted to do with them—things that she hadn't thought of before.

But sometimes, the pursuit with time wasn't as linear as just chasing after its shadow. There was no way to outrun time. The only way to outsmart the endless flow of time was to cherish every second of happiness that was there when it lasted and accept the changes.

Contrary to both of their thoughts, Yuna debuted first, as the main vocalist of a girl group called Gfriend, though Soonyoung himself was a member of a group that would soon debut. The company had confiscated the members' cellphones then, claiming that they only served as distractions. As a result, the time they had together when they were still trainees decreased even more and more, and they barely had a chance to talk anymore.

Of course, that didn't come as a surprise to both Yuna and Soonyoung. It was expected. Being an idol meant sacrificing one's love life, privacy and any wish for gaining freedom again. Therefore, they had already made a promise beforehand.

"No matter what happens, we'll never give up on each other."

Yet, as time dwindled, Yuna could tell that Soonyoung's anxiety grew. She noticed it during one of her impromptu trips to his training room. As she observed their training, she could see Soonyoung's dancing, a frantic and hectic frenzy. Somehow, it reminded her of the time when she first saw his dance. His dance was overwhelming with raw desperation, power and hopelessness.

"Hyung, stop it. You've been at it for hours," one of his teammates said, albeit with somewhat awkward Korean. Yuna recognised the trainee to be Minghao. She wasn't terribly close with any of the other members, but she did respect them for all their commitment. They were a talented and dedicated bunch of people, Yuna recognised that. But waiting for that 'debut date' was no doubt an arduous experience, especially in the current competitive society where the strong would beat the weak. She had felt that same doubt, be it as a trainee or as an aspiring ballerina, so she could understand them.

As she watched Soonyoung, she could tell that his normal confident exterior was crumbling, and those fears were gradually enveloping him too. It was just like how she had succumbed to her stress soon after they had separated.

Soonyoung didn't reply to his teammate. He just panted while staring at his own reflection on the glass mirror with an impenetrable force. The girl slowly walked towards him, steps as light as a feather, as if afraid to shatter the fragile figure in front of her.

"...Soonyoung," she called out to him.

"Here," she said, handing him a small lunchbox. She didn't really know much about cooking, but she knew of a shop that provided really delicious meals. Well, giving a lunchbox filled with food from another food outlet wasn't exactly 'romantic', but it was better than having Soonyoung eat her inedible food and suffer from food poisoning, right? 

Soonyoung stared at the lunchbox blankly with glazed eyes, his mind already far off to a distance. 

"I wonder when I'll debut, Yuna," he muttered. It was a monotonous murmur, much unlike his usual chirpy tone. How many insecurities had he been having this whole time?  Did they start the moment when she debuted or were they already there, waiting to explode at a climatic moment? Yuna really didn't know. She had been busy since the start of her debut, to the point that she couldn't spare herself the energy to be aware of anything else.

You're doing it again, Yuna. You're being blinded by your chase of time. Why...

Why is it that you just can't break free and look at the people around you?

Soonyoung, who used to encourage her when she was down in the dumps, was now in the dumps himself. What could she do to help him? What else could she do to show concern for him?

"You will soon! Aren't you in a group, already?" she reassured him. Back then, they were just aimless teenagers nowhere near their dreams. But now, they were proper adults, one having debuted and another one preparing for debut. They finally had a sense of direction in their lives. So, Yuna believed that there was no reason why Soonyoung needed to doubt any further. He had already decided the future lying beyond him long ago, from the moment he took up street dancing...

That was to become a dancer.

And he would fulfill it, without a doubt.

"This world is full of uncertainties. There's a possibility I'll just never make it out there..." he continued to mutter to himself.

You are saying the same things as I did, Soonyoung.

"You're an idiot," she remarked and thumped his head. Naturally, the victim let out a yelp, glaring back at the perpetrator with an equal amount of force as he did to the lunchbox. And of course, Yuna returned his glare with her sharp gaze.

"You told me to broaden my horizons before. But what about you? Are you really going to limit yourself because of the possibility that 'you will never be able to make it'?" Yuna tossed question after question, not even letting herself to catch a breath before she continued, "I'm sure... Thousands of people out there are pursuing their dreams. They may fail, but still, there are many people out there still trying. You're already one of the lucky ones, Soonyoung. You've gotten a chance to debut. So don't think about stupid things like 'what if I get kicked out' again! You're passionate for dancing, and that is all there is to it. For the sake of those people, you should at least work your hardest."

There was a momentum silence. The only sounds in the area were the ticking of Soonyoung's watch and Yuna's heavy breathing.

Then, a sigh echoed in the air. For once, Soonyoung looked straight at Yuna, without any anger, hesitation or sadness. Instead, there was a quiet strength inside his orbs.

"...You're right, Yuna," he said, grinning as he repeated, "You're right indeed."

Naturally, Yuna returned his refound faith with a slight smile of hers. No matter how many times they fell, they would pick each other up. That was what she believed would never change...

...But of course, there were no constants in this world.

Soonyoung soon debuted later as a member of boy group Seventeen, and that was when things went downhill, and promises once made were broken.

The two couldn't afford to go on public dates anymore. The little trips to their practice rooms and meetups in programs that they happened to attend were the only times they could meet. Such moments were rare, but all the more precious.

However, as their schedules became more and more packed, the burden on their shoulders became increasingly heavier and heavier. Hate comments, the papparazzi, the constant scrutiny, the training... All these problems were balling into one gigantic lump of mess. And since they were youngsters, still too immature and ignorant about how they could handle this overwhelming stress, their time together became the only medium where they could vent their anxiety. As they became more sensitive, the little flaws they hadn't noticed before about each other became more apparent, and the relationship that once gave them happiness ended up being a drag.

He had given up on them, just like how she had given up on them before.

"Why are you calculating the time of our meeting like you can't wait for it to end, Soonyoung?" Yuna had once complained after seeing Soonyoung glance at hia watch multiple times. For some reason, Soonyoung was becoming even more 'time-obsessed' than she was. Was it because he wanted to maximise his time as much as possible, especially when having such frequent and irregular practice sessions and schedules?

"You really need to stop being so uptight about everything, Yuna..." Even Soonyoung, who hadn't minded Yuna's stern side before, was getting irked whenever Yuna told him off.

"It's not me being uptight! I wouldn't be saying this if you're not doing it every single time!"

"So I guess it's my fault... As always. Of course."

"I didn't even say that! Stop assuming everything by yourself!"

Everything that they had loved about each other became what they hated about each other. The initial acceptance they wanted to have for each other was now forgotten, buried amidst the mountains of doubts and fears.

Naturally, this came to an inevitable end, in the most abrupt manner possible.

"My company has found out about relationship," Soonyoung had simply told her in the backstage of Music Bank. It was the best way for them to talk without being spied on by the public.

Without letting a trace of emotion show through his face, he said, "It's better for us to end this."

Coldly and heartlessly. It was like he had cut off his own feelings and had become an emotionless doll.

However, Yuna refused to accept that. She didn't want to admit that somehow, Soonyoung had changed, and she had too. Circumstances had caused them to need different things. They could no longer become each other's comfort. They could no longer smile at each other again...

"...Why are you being so elusive, Soonyoung?" Yuna asked, her fists trembling. She didn't want to admit that. No. Because that would mean-

That would mean giving up on this lead of happiness she didn't have for a long time in her youth. That would mean she would be back to her lonely pursuit of time. That would mean...

They would separate, again.

Yet, at the same time, her gut feeling told her that this was the best decision. Unlike their first separation, this second separation was pretty much inevitable. They were only fresh rookies without a stable fandom to back them up. Getting into dating scandals would only foil their prospects of achieving greater heights. Besides that, both of them didn't have time for romance, nor for the little things anymore. They had ambitions to fulfill, and dreams they want to accomplish.

Even though at one point of their lives, both had completed each other, it was now time for them to diverge to their own paths. It was time for them to evolve on their own. Forcing an empty relationship would just tarnish the beautiful memories they had at the past.

"You... You're really saying this? After all we've been through?"

Soonyoung, on the other hand, appeared composed when he said, "Yuna, we both have the same priorities. We want to pursue our dreams now, don't we?"

"...I know. But that doesn't mean we have to sacrifice a dream for another," Yuna insisted. The notion was still too difficult for her to grasp. After all, she continued to have the same regret she had since she started her relationship with Soonyoung—that being not having spent enough time with him. She just couldn't believe it ended as soon as it started.

For a long time, Soonyoung's lips quirked into his usual smile. For a long time, he almost seemed like Soonyoung again.

"You and I know better than anyone else how much we've worked for this. Now that life has been finally getting easier, and I'm seeing the dream to the end, I want to keep at it. Relationships are unfeasible in this situation. We're... not the same anymore."

"Yeah. We're not the same," she repeated. The knowledge of it hurt. Things couldn't go back to how they used to be, huh?

There was no use persuading him. If there was one thing that didn't change, that was Soonyoung's stubbornness. And so Yuna was left alone, distraught and lost.

Change. That was something she hadn't thought about, amidst her monotonous life. Soonyoung had been a welcoming change, and so did her rising career, but there came with it consequences she had never thought of. She was there reaching her dream. She could stand on her stage, her legs no longer trembling in fear. But tbe price?

She never knew losing her freedom could be so devastating.

"Mmm..."

That night, she wept silently to herself, looking back at the memories they had and the future that could have been. The pictures stayed eternal, forever capturing the smiles they used to have. If it was going to end this way, maybe she'd rather not have met Soonyoung at all. Maybe she should've just stuck at her usual routine, so that she would not get hurt.

But as she looked back at the pictures of them in the amusement park, the coffee shop, the streets and the garden, she knew he had given her something more. Something that would always stay, no matter what. And that was the ability to enjoy life for what there was.

For that, she didn't regret coming to know him.

Her photos left forgotten, she made another resolve entirely. To love what there was. To live for what she was. Someday, she would grow from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan, and she would stand tall and proud, knowing that she had lived her utmost best during the finest moments of her life.

And on the other side of the hill, she would see Soonyoung there too.

A/N: Is the flow okay??? I have this gut feeling this chapter is a bit rushed, especially at the part. But I just didn't see any point in prolonging Soonyoung and Yuna's arguments, which is why I left it as it is. Anyway, there are some things I'm rather unsatisfied with this chapter, but I think I've gotten my main message across. A new couple is always fascinated by the unknown, e.g. Yuna's interest for Soonyoung's freedom, and Soonyoung's admiration for Yuna's stability. But as time goes on, you'll get weary, and what seemed to be 'fascinating' may just seem annoying now. Add on the nonsense celebrities have to deal with daily too... It's evident that both of them will change. They're too young to properly understand love, and furthermore, they have more important priorities ahead of them. Anyways, the angst isn't finished yet! Next three chapters will be the continuation of angst, though the chapters will be shorter than the earlier ones. Please stay with me till the end of this journey, although I can be super long-winded with the description sometimes xD