iv. They covered their faces, unwilling to reveal their abandoned sides.

On the fateful day itself, Yuna's room became a pandomenium. Clothes were scattered all on her bed, like traces of puddles left after a big storm. That seemed to coincide with the turmoil of emotions she was feeling.

Clothes continued to fly over Yuna's head as she ransacked her wardrobe for the perfect fit for her... friendly meeting with a certain someone.

"What should I wear... Oh, what should I wear?" she grumbled indecisively, already forgetting all those times when she mocked her fellow dancers for scampering about like lost poodles in their room right before their dates. Now, she herself was the one who was scampering about like a lost poodle.

Let's just hope that they won't ever hear of this... If not, she will surely be the laughing stock in the dance class.

Wait a minute!

Yuna paused midway through her rampage. She stared at the disarray of her room in dumb shock. It was so unlike her usual room, the room where she used to line her clothes up in neat, straight rows in her closet, where her blanket was folded with little to no creases to be seen, where there was not even a stray item hung limply on the cabinet...

Yet, Choi Yuna, the one who had ensured the cleanliness of her room, had ruined this cleanliness herself.

What is wrong with her, exactly?

It's just a friendly outing, right? I shouldn't be worried... There's no reason why I need to be worried...

Then why am I worried?

Her heart palpitated against her chest, as if it was about to burst out of her ribcage. Time ticked away just like that, as she sat in the midst of her mess, dazed by the thumping drum inside her.

It was the first time she sat in utter blankness, without even glancing at the clock. Simply lost and confused.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence (although in reality it was only one minute), she picked herself up and glanced at the clock again. It was 10.00am.

Wait, I haven't picked a dress yet! 

She continued to ransack her wardrobe as if she was possessed. The question she asked herself was never answered, as there was no time for her to probe about trivial things like that.

After all, Choi Yuna was always rushing about her life. She never had time to pause and think... especially not for matters such as this.

Ah, what a fool she was...

Eventually, she grabbed a dress which she deemed appropriate for the well... friendly meeting with her friend, and then she dashed off to the coffee shop with speed that could put Usain Bolt to shame.

As she ran, she didn't forget to check the time on her watch this time.

10.10am. Just nice.

She was twenty minutes earlier than the arranged time, but it seemed like a regular old routine to her. In fact, she aimed to be thirty minutes earlier, not twenty, so there was a miscalculation on her part. Perhaps it was all because of her earlier rampage.

When she arrived at the coffee shop, she was hoping she could take some time to cool down while waiting for her junior to arrive, but surprisingly, that familiar 10:10 face surfaced in her vision by the time she was panting to reach the seat.

What? When exactly did he arrive?

"Oh, you're early. By... twenty minutes? Wow, you're a real early bird," Soonyoung chimed.

"And you? You came here even earlier than I did," Yuna stated.

Other than her dance teacher who had made kind compromises for her, nobody came earlier than her before. Nobody.

"I'm just killing time, you know. And thinking about some things," he mused. She nodded slowly, a little nervous as she glanced at the guy in front of her.

He was actually dressed pretty decently, like the second time when she met him by coincidence. His hair was neatly combed and his shirt was properly ironed. Normally, in school, he didn't even bother with details such as the creases of his uniform, and sometimes, the bunch of hair that was protruding out of his head, claiming that it was 'bothersome and unnecessary'.

Then why are you doing such bothersome things now, Kwon Soonyoung?

And she realised yet something else.

If they didn't count those two purely coincidental meetings, it would be the first time they met out like that, outside of the school.

She stiffly positioned herself in front of her seat, unsure of what else to say. The silence persisted for a while.

Soonyoung coughed as he stated bluntly, "Well, this is going a little more awkward than I've expected."

"Of course. What did you expect? Most of what we've talked about is dancing, dancing and dancing. Now meeting out like this is..." Yuna continued, "...weird." 

"That's true. So what do you like other than dancing?"

"..."

Silence again. Yuna smiled a little sheepishly, rubbing the nape of her neck while racking her brains for something, anything.

However, she realised that her life really had been revolving around dancing. There wasn't a time when she imagined herself out of her dance room.

"Seriously? Just dancing?" he repeated his question again out of disbelief.

"I haven't thought that much about other things. When I'm into something, I tend to devote all my energy and effort into that something. But I guess... singing?" she muttered. Singing was more of a substitute for dancing, though. If she was in the washroom and couldn't dance around due to the limited space and slippery ground, she would then spend her time singing.

I must really be obsessed with dancing... Oh well, I'm happy like this anyway, so it's fine.

"That's something related to music. I guess that's just your style," Soonyoung chirped.

"And you?"

"Well, I like taekwondo. I'm a black belt," Soonyoung proclaimed proudly.

"Oh! I know some self-defense techniques myself," Yuna proclaimed with equal pride. Well, her self-defense techniques were just really basic skills she learnt during self-defense classes, but they counted as something, right?

Soonyoung raised his eyebrows.

He questioned, "Are you sure you're actually good at them?"

That doubt appeared to tick the prideful Yuna off, for she boldly challenged, "Are you doubting my skills? We can actually have a match here if you'd like."

"No thanks. I'm not a fan of public ridicule. You can humiliate yourself if you like," Soonyoung chirped brightly once again. At that point of time, the realisation that they were at a coffee shop dawned on Yuna, and she flushed.

I'm sure not used to seeing this guy outside the training room. Ah... I almost did a ridiculous thing. I always almost do.

"Nah, I think I want to preserve my sanity," she shook her head as she continued to smile sheepishly. Oh, what a fool she was. She always seemed to embarrass herself in front of Soonyoung, even though she was supposed to be the senior.

It's all Soonyoung's fault. I never act like this around others. He likes to trip me up like this. Probably likes to see me struggle in misery...

It was easy to push the blame on others, so that was exactly what Yuna did. But then, the very obvious question rang in her head.

Weird. Why do I only act like this in front of him, then?

"When were you sane anyway?"

That blunt but truthful question stung Yuna's heart. She glared at the guy who still persistently flashed her that cheeky smile of his. Despite her initial irritation, that signature smile caused her heart to throb yet again.

The confused girl blinked, shifting her eyes away from Soonyoung's gaze. Yet, her heart just couldn't stop throbbing when she recalled the grin that Soonyoung always seemed to show her.

Timidly, she glanced back at the boy in front of her. Soonyoung merely tilted his head, as if wondering why the girl was so quiet when she would normally throw a retort back at him. Of course, he received no answers, because Yuna quickly moved on to another topic. She didn't want to dwell on the odd sensation in her heart any longer... After all, there was no time for that. Yuna didn't have anymore time for that. The friendly reunion hey had would probably be the last, and from then on they would go on their separate ways.

Because... Yuna had a dream. She couldn't afford to be distracted, not when she was at a disadvantage from the very start. And dealing with complicated matters was never Yuna's forte. She avoided them if she could.

By the time they had emptied the coffee from their cups, time seemed to pass by seamlessly and Yuna's watch was already long forgotten by the immersed Yuna. When she next checked her watch, it was already 12.00am.

"Wow! I wasn't expecting time to pass by so fast," Yuna gasped when she caught a glimpse of the time displayed on her watch.

Soonyoung smirked, gave a slight wink as he chortled, "Time does with the right person."

He paused, before saying in a high-pitched voice, "Hmm... Considering you're a time maniac who always checks her watch, I'm surprised you actually agreed to come. I thought you would say 'Oh, it'll be a waste of my precious training time! Don't you ever dare disrupt my routine!'"

Yuna couldn't help but roll her eyes at Soonyoung's antics.

"I might've thought I was the one who said that if it was not for your poor imitation skills."

"Gee, you hurt me."

Clutching his chest, Soonyoung feigned pain in a dramatic manner. All Yuna could do was roll her eyes yet again. Soonyoung always seemed to render her speechless in inexplicable moments, yet he was the one who introduced a new spark into her. Maybe because she was used to being with him, but after considering about the past events of her life so far...

He must really mean a lot to her. 

Before they parted, Soonyoung left her with a few wise words, "You know... Sometimes, just let time flows as it is. Isn't it tiring to run on a schedule, like you have limited time?"

"We all do. We're all gonna die someday," stated Yuna. The topic of death sounded gloomy, but it wasn't as if Yuna had a bleary outlook on life. It was just a fact to her. Everybody had always been chasing time, that elusive illusion. It was just that Yuna wanted to gain a headstart in the race.

"Well, that's a gruesome topic. I didn't know you have a fancy for that, Yuna."

"I don't, but it's just a fact. I think I've come to realise that even more now, because..."

The words about her illness were going to leave her lips, yet she held them back. Hesitation flickered over her eyes.

Soonyoung smiled slightly as he said, "You know... We've never told each other about our pasts. Even now, we don't have to know about each other's pasts. You don't have to force yourself to tell me if you don't want to."

"..."

"...Never mind that. Are you a freelancer? One who goes wherever the wind takes you to?"

"Yeah. That's how I am. A boat in the midst of the ocean. I feel free, but this freedom is a little terrifying, you know. Because you don't know where the wind will take you to, and you end up feeling lost."

Yuna attempted to imagine. The whole idea of her floating in the sea while she let the wind whisk her to wherever it pleased was something simply incomprehensible to her. After all, there always seemed to be a clock hidden in the realms of her consciousness. It never ceased to tick at her to keep moving on instead of dawdling in the comfort of a small boat.

Perhaps, she could never imagine how it was like to just go with the flow. She needed to keep rowing. She needed to keep moving on.

She was drastically different from Soonyoung, who was a free bird.

"You have the gift to feel free. I don't. Be happy for that."

"I can say the same for you. You have the gift to feel secure. I don't. Be happy for that yourself."

"I am."

But you're a little wrong, Soonyoung. I haven't always felt secure. I have felt lost... when I'm with you.

Eventually, the two parted. With every reunion, there would be a farewell. Yuna was sure that she wouldn't meet Soonyoung again, but when he called her the second and the third, she wasn't so sure about her sureness anymore. Especially when she gave in every time, with the excuse that 'it was all right to take a break once in a while... you know, to recharge my body!'

Regarding the sensation she was feeling, she never figured it out. Or rather, she didn't want to figure it out. Figuring it out would just be a burden to the already cumbersome load on her shoulders.

But meeting after meeting, date after date, the doubts in Yuna's head only continued to increase. She knew she had to put a stop to it, once and for all.

Because when she heard that song while walking along the streets, she occasionally thought of him. Because when she walked past the coffee shop they used to go to together, she occasionally thought of him.

She didn't want to think about him when she was dancing. She didn't want to compromise her training time any further.

She didn't have the time to be free, after all.

So, she made a resolve.

During their last meeting, Yuna had a brilliant idea to lead a grumbling Soonyoung to the clock tower at the War Memorial of Korea.

While Yuna stared at the twin clock towers, awe-struck, Soonyoung could only watch her with amazement as he muttered, "It's weird. Most girls would want to go to the Han River or some other places... not a clock tower."

"All you see at the Han River is just sea and buildings. Isn't a clock more interesting in a sense? The hands are dynamic and are constantly dancing," Yuna nonchalantly chirped, continuing to fixate her stare at the clock as if mesmerised by the moving hands within the glass.

"You see that as dancing? I must say, you have a very weird perception of things."

"Well, I have to admit that when I first saw you, I thought your eyes looked like what clock hands would be like when time hits 10:10."

"I see. Just 1 hour and 1 minute before 11:11."

Although Yuna couldn't really see his expression, she bet he was smirking away like the haughty kid he usually was. However, she was strangely calm this time.

She finally took her eyes off the clock, glancing back at the guy who still caused her heart to throb.

"Do you actually believe in that?"

"Why not? It's meaningful, isn't it?"

"Such a romantic you are. You believe in fate, and now you believe in 11:11."

He really was different from her. in terms of outlook and perspective. She would've never believed in these things that only occurred in romance stories or the romantic fantasies of single people. She would've never believed them...

Yet, her teenage heart still fluttered when Soonyoung mentioned them. He had already planted a glimmer of hope in her heart...

What could this be?

Could this be...

"Why? Do you want to date me yet?"

No.

"You know what... Soonyoung," she started, heaving a deep breath before muttering, "I don't think I can see you anymore. Let this... be our last meeting."

She didn't even want to look in his eyes anymore. Her voice was at the risk of breaking, yet she held it together with the firm resolve that she couldn't waver. Lady Luck was not on her side from the start. Her legs were fragile muscles who bent with the wind, so she had to make it up with more dancing. Even one second was precious... because she might never be able to stand up again once she fell.

This was her lifelong dream, and there was no way a third party could obstruct her. No way.

Not even Soonyoung.

Even though her heart protested against her chest violently, she refused to give in. She knew that if she were to take back the words she just said, she might really end up confessing to him. And things would never be the same again.

Change was not something she wanted. She wanted stability. Only with stability could the treacherous paths in her life seem a little less daunting than they already were.

There were no sounds coming from Soonyoung. Silence engulfed the air around them again, but this time, it was a stiff one.

"You're not going to tell me why even if I ask you, right?"

"..."

"So be it, then."

At that instant, Yuna looked up, surprised. She did expect Soonyoung to be rather casual about it, but still...

For him to accept it without any doubts or questions? That didn't seem like the forever inquisitive Soonyoung.

The jovial smile he flashed yet again pained Yuna's heart. His smile did seem a little dull and forced. Regardless, he concealed all traces of weaknesses and reached out his hand.

"Thanks for everything, Yuna-sunbaenim. I hope I haven't been too much of a trouble for you. All the best in reaching your dreams."

"...You too."

She accepted the handshake. Their fingers brushed slightly, and their hands lingered for a moment. Still, they eventually separated, just like how the two alike yet unlike individuals went on their separate ways.

Yuna never knew how Soonyoung could accept it so readily, and Soonyoung never knew why Yuna proposed that they should end off their friendship, but still, both complied to what the situation was. Even if they were together, they wouldn't fit anyway. If they tried, it would be like joining a jigsaw puzzle piece to a jigsaw puzzle without a complementary shape.

That was why both decided to dance out of each other's hearts and escape from each other's grasp.

Of course, it wasn't so easy at the start. Sometimes, Yuna had the urge to message him, just to ask him what he was up to. She was always close to pressing that 'send' button. But every time she rewinded, like a broken clock which could only go back to the past. Her fingers trembled, and she suppressed her heart from acting on impulse.

Because Choi Yuna never acted on impulse. She never did. 

When days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, her heart ached for longing, but her stubborn mind refused to let her heart bend to her feelings.

She danced along with the beating of her heart, her whole body tingling with excitement. Her condition was improving... Well, actually, there was no way to tell for sure. She assumed it was because she fell less frequently. With that, she was one step closer to her dreams. In fact, her instructor had recommended her to join an idol group.

Sometimes she would fall, and sometimes she would not. But eventually, her dancer recommended her to join an idol group.

"An idol group...? You know I'm no good at that. I'm probably not someone whom the general public will like. And just look at my condition. I'll most likely faint in front of the whole stage!"

"I know that. That's why I want you to spread your wings, Yuna. You can achieve more than you think. You can gain experience being in an idol group and learn to open up to others more. A dancer can't just work in isolation, can she?"

There was no way Yuna could come up with a retort. Sure, a dancer could shine when she was given the entire spotlight, but being a solo dancer meant immense expectations, and it was just the first step. Being a dancer who could cooperate with others was the second step.

"I know what you're thinking, Yuna. You're good at both singing and dancing, but you're just worried you'll fall. You don't have to worry about that. Your condition is improving already. Why worry about it and restrict yourself from further growth?"

"You can never trust my legs. I've long lost trust in them long ago. Besides, I want to be a ballerina, not some idol."

"...I'm not going to force you to make a decision. But I just want to let you know that there is another option. Being an idol can allow you to build up your reputation before you move on to becoming a ballerina. Besides, the company I've contacted is fine with your condition. You just have to take the leap of faith yourself."

The words of her instructor continuously lingered in her head. Being an idol wasn't what she wanted.

But then, she recalled Soonyoung.

If it was him, he would accept to go for the audition, right? After all, he's always floating with the wind.

And even though she feared change, she thought that perhaps, she could try to have a bit more faith this time. Being cooped up in her training room meant that she would never see the light of standing up on stage again. This... was another opportunity.

Eventually, she ended up going for the audition and passed. It also meant that she became a trainee, so she had to bid farewell to her instructor and fellow students in the dance class.

She couldn't possibly fathom how much humiliation she would get if she were to collapse. But her dance instructor told her it was okay. If she fell, she could just stand up again.

"If you want to be an actual ballerina, you're still gonna fall on stage someday. You have to learn to deal with it eventually."

She was halfway through reaching her dream. Of course, she was happy, but she wondered if it would be her last time meeting Kwon Soonyoung. Most likely, it was. Under the same sky, at the same time, at the same place, they were probably seeing other people, people who were not them. She was going to move on to a new chapter of her life without him...

But just when she was about to dance on, a familiar figure appeared in the company she was in.

That was the forth time. Did fate really exist?

Yuna didn't believe in such things. But honestly speaking, she was getting a little confused.

A/N: All right, I'm alive again haha. They were never meant to get into a relationship so early on, sorry guys xD But who knows what'll happen next? After all, we can never predict the future. It's been tremendous fun writing this chapter, and now we'll officially move on to their trainee lives before they debut in SVT & Gfriend (yes, they'll eventually debut in those two groups like they did in real life ; u ;) These few chapters have been all about Yuna and her thoughts and feelings but don't worry y'all. You'll learn more about Soonyoung when the time comes, just like how Yuna does :)
*P.S. Did you get that In the Same Place reference? It's my favourite IOI song and so fitting for this chapter xD
**P.S.S. I've decided not to introduce Yuna's detailed description of her illness here, because it'll need to be discovered in the later chapters. And yes... This means that the next few chapters will probably be much longer T_T I'll work hard to finish them asap~