HEARTFELT

Sometimes Sehun wishes for time to turn back. At the age of fifteen, life has gotten more complicated. He’s expected to do well in school, do better than well actually, but he’s also expected to be a valuable member of society and take care of his relations to classmates and other people. After all, it’s those connections that will help him later in the future, too.

The doing well in school part isn’t as much of a problem to him who has been called a smart kid. With his outstanding logic, he is able to grasp whatever is taught to him easily enough, and the rest, things that he needs to memorize, he just needs to read and write over and over again to imprint it in his memory for class, homework and exams.

It’s the socializing part that Sehun is struggling with. And it wouldn’t be so much of a problem if Jongin was by his side. He sighs softly and glances at the desk across the room where Jongin is currently seated, a little crowd around him, laughing and joking with him.

I should be sitting with him, too, Sehun thinks but shakes that thought off. They haven’t spoken for almost a year, when the summer vacation before their first year of high school almost ended. Even now Sehun tries to find any hints of a change of mind for they had been the best of friends all their lives. His earliest memories start not only with his parents, but with Jongin, too. They were like one heart and one soul. How could they have broken apart like that?

Sehun still doesn’t understand what has led Jongin to quit their friendship, but he’s sure that he’s the one at fault. Because Jongin said that he just couldn’t be friends with Sehun anymore because they’re so different. But wasn’t their difference the reason they had fitted so well? Jongin’s voice would fill Sehun’s silence, and Sehun’s gentleness would calm Jongin’s temper. Jongin was the shield to protect Sehun and Sehun was the reason to keep Jongin in check.

But maybe that was never the case, that tiny voice in his head says. Because Jongin is doing fine without him. It’s only Sehun who is hung up over the past. He is the only one who is still looking at the other, longing for the other’s hand holding his tightly, for the other’s warm body to snuggle into his in bed after a movie marathon. He misses Jongin, and although he knows he shouldn’t, he is determined once more to apologize and beg for Jongin’s forgiveness.





It’s been so long since Sehun had been to Jongin’s room the last time. He has never dared to confront Jongin at his home before, but he feels like he’s grabbing the last straw, so he resorts to this. Jongin can’t possibly run away without an explanation when his mother is downstairs in the kitchen.

He looks around. Jongin is still using the same old TV set that Sehun’s parents had given him last year. The Oh’s wanted to throw it away, but Jongin had begged to keep it since his parents weren’t willing to buy him a TV, arguing that he would only slack off in school. Sehun’s parents never worried about that since they trusted their son too much, so they had talked to Jongin’s parents and asked them to trust Jongin a bit more, too.

He smiles when he sees the same Digimon figurines on top of the television. He had