Warning : Suicidal thought

The sun isn’t up yet but Yesung is already awake. He takes off Siwon’s pajama—the size is twice bigger than his size—and folds it neatly. He checks the clocks, 4 AM. He scans around the room and his eyes catch a small photo frame on the desk. A picture of Siwon with Kibum and Jinki. He smiles a little, the tall man must be really close with his brother(s). He places it back and looks around. He finds a note and rip one of the blank page to leave a message for his senior. When he’s done, he peeks outside to see that the house is really quiet. Everyone is still sleeping for sure, he walks slowly since he doesn’t want to disturb Siwon and his family. He successfully goes out of the house without a sound.

The sky is still dark with a hint of orange color, probably the sun will be up soon. Yesung decides to go back to his apartment because he has school today. He needs his uniform and his books. His talk with Siwon last night makes him feel a bit better. Should he try to approach Kibum Hyung again? He doesn’t know, he isn’t ready to be treated with hostility again. Yesterday’s encounter with his brothers really wrecks him out. He is afraid that he can’t handle the pain anymore. Funny to think that he can endure his uncle’s beating but not Kibum’s harsh and cold words. He unlocks the door of his apartment and steps inside. A photo of his smiling father—hanging on the wall—greets him as usual.

“Dad, I miss you.”

**

It’s like a habit to look his surrounding after he steps inside the train. He is trying to spot a familiar face and can’t help to feel disappointed when he doesn’t see a tall man with messy brown hair. Kyuhyun is probably skipping school again today. He checks his wristwatch and realizes that it’s still too early. Maybe the man will ride the next train, he sighs as he leans his head against the pole.

“Why are you already sighing in the morning?”

Yesung instantly looks up when he hears the familiar voice. He gets flustered when he sees Kyuhyun’s face is so close with his own. The tall man bends his body lower so they are in same eye level. He immediately backs away a little.

“You are too close.” Yesung mutters. “Anyway, you finally go to school again.”

Kyuhyun straightens his body and hums. “Yeah. I do, finally.” A soft smile appears on his face, which makes Yesung surprised. He really thought the tall man can only show him a smirk or cocky smile. That actually makes Kyuhyun less scary.

“Oy, Ugly.. why are you staring? Feeling amazed with my handsome face?”

Yesung frowns. Geez, he should have known that Kyuhyun is a certified brat. He shouldn’t let his guard down. “You should stop calling me ugly. I may be not handsome but I am definitely far from ugly.”

“Yeah.. yeah..”

They start bickering over random thing, even until they reach school’s gate. Some students are glancing at them, not so secretly. Yesung forgets about the stupid rumor about him. He already has lot problem on his plate so he thinks that’s the least thing he should care about.

“Is it me or people keep glancing at me?” Kyuhyun raises an eyebrow as he spots two girls who shamelessly stare at his direction.

“It’s because you are famous.” Yesung says nonchalantly, he doesn’t even want to tell the stupid rumor to Kyuhyun. He knows that the students are actually badmouthing him. Kyuhyun probably will make fun of him if he is aware about this rumor. Somehow it makes Yesung feels at ease, at least the he won’t avoid him. He will take any insult from Kyuhyun’s mouth instead of other students because the tall man’s words never affect him. It’s because he knows that those insults that always Kyuhyun throws are meaningless, just merely annoying joke to piss Yesung off.

“I know that I am famous but I don’t know that I am this famous.”

Yesung rolls his eyes and about to give witty remark but someone calls him over. He twists his head to the side to find Siwon approaches him with a worried face.

“Yesung! Glad that I found you! I was so panic when I didn’t see you in my room this morning. Then I spotted your message on my desk. You should have woken me up before leave.” Siwon says, quite loud and Yesung wants disappear instantly. The man with dimpled smile must not know the rumor about him now he unknowingly adds fuel to the fire. People will make some stupid to spread again.

“Uhm Sorry Hyung. I have to go back because my uniform is at my apartment.” Yesung mumbles softly.

“Ah I see… so you are going to talk to Kibum later?”

“I.. I don’t know.” Yesung avoids Siwon’s eyes. He doesn’t think he is ready to hear the truth from Kibum, even if he knows why.

Siwon’s expression changes. He looks upset as his jaw clenches. “Why? You should talk to him. Tell your story, hear his story too!”

“I am sorry, Hyung. Maybe not now..”

The senior stares at Yesung for seconds then he sighs. “Whatever. Do what you want, Yesungie.”

“Wow is this kind of drama?” A deep bass voice interrupt the conversation between Yesung and Siwon. It’s Kyuhyun, he is still standing behind Yesung with hands in his pocket, watching them with such interest. Yesung actually forgets Kyuhyun is still there.

“Who are you?” Siwon raises an eyebrow.

“Just one of another students that watch the dramatic scene between you two.” Kyuhyun casually says and that’s when Yesung realizes that some students don’t even try to hide to listen his conversation with Siwon.

Siwon is eyeing Kyuhyun from head to toe. The atmosphere gets really heavy now and Yesung decides to speak to break the tension. “Hyung… let’s not talk about it now.”The senior shifts his gaze at Yesung. He doesn’t say anything and about to walk away, but Yesung grips his wrist. “And please.. don’t tell anything to Kibum Hyung, about… about our conversation last night.”

“I won’t. It’s your problem, only you who can solve it. Note that, Yesung.” Siwon says and walks away from the shorter man.

Yesung watches as Siwon is out of his sight. He understands that Siwon is angry because he is acting like a coward. Yes, that’s what he is right now. He has no courage to face his brother. He turns around  and feels a blush creeps on his cheek when he sees Kyuhyun is still on the same spot, staring at him. He immediately walks towards the class to hide from many prying eyes, Kyuhyun is following behind him. Sighing in relief when he sees his class is still empty. It’s disturbing when people keep staring and trashtalk you  everywhere and he can only seek some peace in his class. He is about to sit on his seat when Kyuhyun suddenly grips his shoulder. The shorter man yelps in pain and turns around just to see the tall man clutches his own chest.

“Kyuhyun? Hey! Are you okay?”

Kyuhyun doesn’t say anything for seconds but suddenly he looks up with a smirk. “Got you!” With those words, the tall man goes to his own seat at the back of the class, leaving Yesung dumbfounded. He casually takes out his iPod and put his earphones. Losing himself in music, not even give Yesung another glance.

As if yesterday isn’t depressing enough, today is even more depressing for Yesung. Sungmin still doesn’t talk to him, even though he catches him glancing towards his direction few times during the lesson. He stays inside the class alone during lunch break; because he knows  if he goes to cafeteria, the students will start gossiping about him. He doesn’t have intention to find Kibum Hyung for today since he isn’t ready for another rejection. He isn’t ready for another pain.

“Hi Yesung.”

Yesung looks up to see Wendy standing in front of his table. “Yes?”

“Uh… the library will have renovation so we don’t have to work as librarian this week.” Wendy fidgest on her spot.

“Oh