Chapter 7: Overdose

 

 

Days are passing. Thanks to DO well trained memory I learned really fast what I was lacking about his future schedule. I started to learn Korean and teach DO some English. Our conversations are smoother.

Now that we understand each other better and that I need less teaching, we talk more about small stuff in our daily lives. Or big stuff like me trying my best not to take too much advantage of my situation.

And you know what ? I have to tell you.

It's not ing easy.

I thought skinship was mostly for cameras.

But...

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Baekhyun gets sad if I don't do vocal training with him. So a few times a week we are alone in a tight room, trying to help each other to get better.... or should I say: listen to Baekhyun boasts about improvements over his favorite songs.

I must restrain myself from feeling blessed because DO would never act like a fan girl obviously. The best way to manage that is to believe that nothing special is going on. Or thinking about dead kitties. The real DO would at best praise him a little then boast about his new acting skills. It means I have to pretend that I can act. It means acting that I know how to act. I rarely felt so embarrassed over myself.

You are probably wondering: what's the big deal about that situation? The big deal is that he is so proud of his voice that he starts whispering in my ear to make me scream. The problem when you are a male and people around you are hot and they make a lot of things that your body responds to... is that your intimate place gets big. It's so easy to get aroused when you are a girl, everything is naturally hidden. Guys, on the other hand, have no choice but to be visible to everyone.

Result of that, I bought a big underpant and stuck D.O.'s intimity in it so even if it grows, no one will see it. Sorry. I am so happy the internet exists to help me find these tricks. Of course, tight pants are forbidden.

I have to tell you how I realized I needed this kind of trick to survive.

....

I tried to escape the first time Baekhyun whispered in my ear. It was the worst idea ever considering how that kid usually reacts to embarrassing stuff. HE IS THE WORST.

He embraced me from behind to stop me from running. "I didn't know that you are so sensitive from your ears ?" He blew some hair in my ear again. I scream

"No. Stop please it's not funny. I am going to hit you so hard that you won't wake up."

Yes I improved in my DO's lines.

"What are you saying?" He grabs me tighter and blows A LOT OF HAIR IN MY EAR. I just wanted to die. One part because my feelings were so powerful that I didn't know who I was anymore. Second part is that I was still not feeling good about the fact I am not who I pretend to be. He is still thinking I am his beloved friend. Not an intrusive fan.

I tried to leave even harder but he had more strength than I thought.

"So cute, Soo !"

That's how I learnt that I must obey Baekhyun's orders when he is in that mood. The more I try to escape, the more he wants to tease me. Of course, he saw my . AND HE WAS PROUD OF HIMSELF. Like really. Is he gay? Or is DO openly gay? These are the only possible explanations for this situation which would perhaps make it more normal.

He laughed hard. "I am too skilled now you have to stay like that. So dumb. You need to gather more strength Soo. Or we all would want to take advantage of you to get you in an impossible situation. Like now. GOOD LUCK TO GO TO THE DORM WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING YOUR LITTLE INTIMATE SITUATION." And he left. Like that.

That's the day I searched for tricks to hide a .

~~~~~~

Byun baekhyun isn't the only one to play dirty. I knew Lay was special. Like in his own world. He likes to pat everyone in the at every occasion he has. A friend's grandma does the same to her grandchildren. It's probably his way to physically show us that he likes us like a family. Still. Do he knows how ing y he is? He's not China's king for nothing. Does he know that an extremely y grown man like him touching butts could set them on fire? Does he know that he is playing with my feelings?

On another subject I feel so sad to see him so tired and at the same time trying to cook for us and taking care of us. I don't understand why he doesn't take better care of himself.

Yesterday was starting to get really cold and he was leaving only with his T-shirt. I told him to wait and ran to take a warm jacket.

"Oooh. That's so nice!" He made a big smile. "Thank you my friend. I love you." He circled my body with his arms. Lightly at first then more and more deeply. When I tried my best not to take advantage of the situation or enjoying it too much, I realized he fell asleep... I don't know how he did to fall asleep like this and so quickly. I had to wake him up so he wouldn't miss his plane. I have to find a plan to force him to rest next time. He makes me more and more worried. When I ask him he will always pretend he is fine. I can feel that he is very passionate about his work. It's like a lover for him. But pushing yourself too much transforms your love into something toxic.

~~~~~~

Chen is still concerned about me. He found his own way to give me courage. He will sneak behind me, hug me from behind then cheer me with a: "Fighting!".

My hearth miss a beat every ing time.

~~~~~~~

Talking about concern, Xiumin has a new habit. He takes me to his room with a coffee to talk about me. I think he is trying to figure out why he found me so sad last time. He is looking very serious at these moments.

Everyone is making fun of him because he looks so young despite being the eldest but when he is checking my mental health it's the contrary. He really looks like a reliable elder brother.

He never asks me directly about that day. He just checks how I feel, we talk about our day, the weather, girls. Always saying at the end "If you ever need anything or if you need to talk about something I am here. I won't move. I won't judge."

Sadly, I will never be able to explain what's happening. He won't believe me. I wouldn't. I don't want to put DO in trouble. I don't want to compromise his career or his future. This world needs DO's talents. I need him too in my life.

~~~~~~~~~

Our leader has bad habits too. Do you know people who have no sense of modesty? They say it's nothing if someone sees their body. Everyone is born . All guys are made of the same stuff. All girls are made of the same stuff. You know a body, you know them all. I guess you are starting to figure out what I am going to explain.

I went out of my room after a rough night. Chanyeol was snoring a lot because of the cold he got that week. I was still half asleep but I had a filming session for a drama so I needed to prepare quickly. I went to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast. When Suho entered the kitchen, that breakfast was tainted with a pink chocolate bar or tiny banana, your choice.

The best part when you fantasize on an idol is to imagine everything. Even the more forbidden parts. You can imagine everything you want depending on your mood. Especially THAT part is prettier when you imagine it. Especially when it's in "sleep mode".

The less you see the more you imagine what you want. Like a ghost movie. You are more afraid and excited when you don't see and understand anything. Once they show you the monster you are disappointed most of the time.

That's exactly what happened with Suho's most private parts.

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One true embarrassing night.

Most of the members were out of our common living space for the night. The dormitory was empty except from Kai.

I had the afternoon free so I used it to practice my singing in the studio. I haven't had a proper rest since... probably since I took DO's body. My body was screaming for some sleep. My head hurts. My throats didn't want to follow my command. After 2 hours it became very clear that the practice was a total failure.

I looked up on the internet to find a way to help my sore throat. Some peppermint tea would do a miracle apparently.

I stopped at a grocery store before going "home" to buy peppermint tea. In the store there were promotions on curry's ingredients. The ingredients looked really nice. I figured that Kai didn't plan anything for tonight. He usually just buys some pre-baked meals. He needs fresh vegetables and home-cooked meals. Curry is easy to make. Even if I do this, I was able to sleep early.

I went to the cash register in a real hurry to get home and cook a good curry full of love.

Once I was in the dormitory, I ran to our room to get comfortable clothes. Opened the door so big it hit the wall and made a big "BANG".

"AAAAAH." Shouts Kai.

"OH MY GOD SORRY." Did I yell to him, watching to the other side and rushing out of the room.

I will never be able to delete what I saw that day from my memory. Kai was ing while he was looking at his phone listening to its content with earphones. It was probably some . I couldn't see the video, thank god.

He probably didn't hear me because of the earphones and continued his "business" until I opened the door of our room.

Unlike Suho's ness, I didn't see Kai's intimacy. He had the presence of mind to do it under the sheets.

But.

What was more disturbing is that he was ing in my bed. I choose not to try to understand why. I think if I did, the image would be more and more vivid in my brain. I will enjoy some part of mystery.

"Sorry Soo'... I thought you were going to the dormitory later. Sorry for your bed. I went in it by mistake. I think I drank too much."

"O-Ok." The clock indicated only 3PM. Early to be drunk. "I am going to prepare a curry. You can take as much of it as you want once it's done." I start slowly to walk toward the kitchen, forgetting my first intention was to change for a more appropriate outfit first.

"See ya."

I closed the door of the kitchen after me, breathing heavily. Oh . Some friends would kill me to see Kai's face during ion. I would kill me to forget it. It will be even more difficult to prevent dirty dreams. I can't manage the morning especially if Baekhyun sees it. He is totally going to make me want to disappear from this world.

Gosh. DO, I am sorry. When you will be able to be back in your body, you're going to endure the mess I created.

Kai joined me 30 minutes later. Couldn't make eye contact.

"Can I help you ?"

"No. We just need to wait 15 more minutes."

"Um." Kai sat on a chair, looking at his phone.

It was the longest 15 minutes I ever felt since I am in this body.

Living with them is really different from following them from far away.

The meal was silent. I had nightmares that night. I was ing in the living room completely and all the members saw me. I hate my brain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even practicing for concerts became an evil temptation.

For the next concert, we are doing an acoustic session in the US with Chanyeol.

"What do you think about Justin Bieber ? You know I like his songs so much ! Please !"

How am I supposed to say no ? "Why not. Which song do you have in mind ?"

Chanyeol takes his guitar. "Listen.", he says with a big smile. He starts playing a soft song. "If I was your boyfriend,"

My heart missed a bit. He could sing anything else but he had to choose this. True. He is a really sensitive boy. What did I expect?

"I'd never let you go.

"I can take you places you ain't never been before

"Baby take a chance or you'll never ever know

"I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow"

Chanyeol stops playing and sends me a questioning look.

It's going to be bad for me to train on that music with him. It's so ing romantic. I am afraid I will start to sing "I agree to be your boyfriend because your song made me fall in love for good".

Being an idol is a dangerous business. I can't imagine someone questioning his uality or gay being ok in this situation if they also need to hide. We don't talk so much about them. We prefer to write fanfics or divert the meaning of the images or videos we see on the internet. Was I so superficial ? It must be a living hell for them. They live in this hell since they are born. And I am complaining only after one month.

"I really like it. It's a good idea."

Chanyeol is so happy that he hit my back with too much strength. "That's my boy !"

"Frankly, I thought it would be harder to force you to accept the song. I was sure it would perfectly fit your voice so I was even ready to be hit by you before you say yes. Thought you would find it too 'girly' or soft." Chanyeol takes me into a big hug. "Thanks bro ! You won't regret it !"

I would like to stay in his arms forever but I am not me. I am Do Kyungsoo, an idol who keeps hitting his friends with his fists whenever he feels like it. I threw a light punch in his stomach.

As if Chanyeol was expecting it from the start, he starts to exaggerate A LOT the impact by rolling on the floor. "Aaaouuuch. Ahahhahah. It hurts. Ah aah ah ah. Soo is attacking me. Noooo. Ahahah."

I kinda understand why D O. can't stop to hit him. Chanyeol loves to irritates him. It's funny but at the same time annoying. Wants me to make him know what real pain is. He is lucky I am a big fan. It would be a shame to hurt his beautiful body.

"Wait. You are not hitting me more? What happened to you? Wait. No. ARE YOU IGNORING ME ON PURPOSE?! Man, that's not fair! It's more fun if you hit me."

Chanyeol starts running after me while I am whistling to Boyfriend, walking alone to the studio.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I experienced a great classic. The episode of the sick handsome idol who needs to be looked after.

"Kyungsoo, can you take care of Sehun tonight? I can't stay at the dormitory and he's really sick. We need him to be in good shape tomorrow. We need the best caretaker to look after him." said Suho.

"Okay. No problem."

I was naive thinking it would be easy.

Once I moved basic stuff I needed into Suho's bed, Sehun woke up.

"I don't want to bother you. After some rest I will feel better. No need for you to worry."

"I already promised Junmyeon that I would take care of you."

Sehun is looking at me. Visibly in pain.

"I don't want to be a burden..."

"You will never be a burden to me." Did I answer when I pinch Sehun's cheeks.

"Ok. I surrender but stop pinching me please."

His maknae vibe, combined with a cute face and hard working person really makes me want to take care of him. He deserves so much his loving hyungs.

I went to the kitchen to make a good rice porridge. It feels so great to eat some when you are sick. I poured all my love into it.

When I got back to Sehun's room, I could see him undressing.

"Why are you taking off your clothes?!"

"It's too hot with my fever."

"O...okay then. It's alright if you cover yourself correctly with your bedsheets."

I think he must be one of the most muscular members of the group. His underpants leave no imagination regarding the size of his... Stop it. He's sick. Do not ualize sick people.

He ate his rice porridge with difficulty. "It's really good. You improved your cooking skills a lot lately. Too bad I can't eat much."

"Don't worry. I will put your name on it. There will be plenty left for you tomorrow."

Sehun went back to bed with a big smile then closed his eyes. "I love you, hyung. Good night."

"You're welcome."

Once I cleaned everything, I also went to bed. Once I almost fall asleep, I hear a voice calling me.

"I want a cuddle. I don't feel good, hyung."

I feel a almost Sehun sneak into my bed. That one is really difficult. I can't say no to a sick friend. But it's a scene I fantasized a lot. My heart is pounding so fast, I am sure he is hearing it. Even if it's dark, I can slightly see that Sehun looks at me intensely.

I wrapped my arms around Sehun and was thinking about dead cats to keep my body from reacting. I don't know how it's possible for a skin to be so soft. He was so warm and comfortable.

"Don't hesitate to wake me up if you need anything else. Good night."

It took me 3 hours to sleep because I was extremely nervous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can see DO losing it. He cries with laughter when I explain to him what's going on. He starts typing :

Kyungsoo's😈 : Sehun is really a little baby. You've got to be used to it. 😂

My$daddy$is$satan : Seriously... Don't tell me it's normal for you to do these things to your friends???

Kyungsoo's😈 : Usually, yes. We are like a family to each other. We don't have time to see much people outside of the band. So we naturally became really close to each other.

Kyungsoo's😈 : But...

Kyungsoo's😈 : Kai is weird. 🤔

Kyungsoo's😈 : Why was he doing that on my bed. I never saw him going on the wrong bed to sleep. Why would he to wank. 🤔🤔🤔🤔

As you can see, DO transformed my account to make me look like I choose him as my ultimate bae. I can't even imagine what he is saying to my friends and especially, EXO-L friends on my chat group. So I made him Satan's child as revenge. Yes, it's a pity. I didn't have any good ideas.

My$daddy$is$satan : It's really hard to understand what he is thinking.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Even after being a close friend to him for years, he always surprise me.

My$daddy$is$satan : Don't you think he could have done that on your bed because he has a crush on you?

Kyungsoo's😈 : Naaaaaaaaah.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Everyone knows he is going out with krystal. 😏

My$daddy$is$satan : HE WHAT?????????

My$daddy$is$satan : AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?????????

My$daddy$is$satan : OMG

My$daddy$is$satan : 😱😱😱

Kyungsoo's😈 : Oops

Kyungsoo's😈 : Don't repeat that to anyone please.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Another secret between us. 😉

My$daddy$is$satan : THAT SECRET IS TOO BIG FOR ME.

Kyungsoo's😈 : That's why we share a lot of secrets, isn't it? 😏😏😏

DO sends me a kiss using his webcam. He is really funny when he opens up.

My$daddy$is$satan : I am so sad we can't meet each other.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Are you starting to fall in love for real? 😚

My$daddy$is$satan : I was serious! You really are a good friend. Thank you.

Kyungsoo's😈 : You helped me a lot. It's normal.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Usually I don't do that but I promise you that I will send personal fan service to you once it's over.

My$daddy$is$satan : Please, don't kill me.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Cannot make that promise. Sorry.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Apparently Satan is my daddy.

Kyungsoo's😈 : My job is to be evil.

DO takes a severe look.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Now, let's talk about something more serious.

My$daddy$is$satan : What?

Kyungsoo's😈 : I found a forum with other people like us.

Kyungsoo's😈 : I dunno if it's real or if it's a joke.

Kyungsoo's😈 : If I their testimonials, we have one week left before switching back to our bodies.

One week left in DO's body? Why am I so sad about it? I was complaining so much before. A few tears run down my cheeks.

Kyungsoo's😈 : Don't cry. Are you ok? 😟

My$daddy$is$satan : Sorry...

My$daddy$is$satan : It feels like a dream that is going to end.

My$daddy$is$satan : I shouldn't feel like this, I know...

My$daddy$is$satan : Especially when it's so hard for you...

Kyungsoo's😈 : Frankly...

Kyungsoo's😈 : I haven't felt so rested in years.

Kyungsoo's😈 : I was afraid at the beginning but with you managing so well, I started to enjoy my time here as well.

DO reaches out his arms as if to hug me through the camera. I do the same thing. He is really a good friend. Friend that I will probably lose once we go back to our respective bodies.

One week left....