Attention : i only put ‘little blues’ in here. i wish you read it. 
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..Two heart are loving each other...
......yet we never know that our love can be written differently..

The concert is ended. i changed my outfit to casual t-shirt. i didn’t forget to put mask, hat and hoodie. When i will walkout, my manager hold me, i know that she will give warning to not caught by media and fans. I only nodded.
Iam playing like common people, i ride the cheap car as i avoid attention. I don’t the light, actually i never need the light, i just need her. the only girl that i left. Seems the sky supports my heart, the rain is pouring down slowly. No need long time, i arrived in sub-urban. The region is familiar to me for these six years.

I entered the cafe, i sit in table which is near with window, iam stalking !! i stalk the girl that i always miss in my life. i never grave her from myself. i smile when the girl enter publishing company (across the cafe). My smile is no longer hanging as there is someone who hug her warmly. 

“i miss you, dear~~” this is my greeting that i saved in my heart. 

......If this time is past, you can forget everything
......Although our memories was happines

For haters, my songs are depression songs because iam in high place. For fans, my songs are frustrated song because i have many scars that make me lonely, alone and empty. Those opinion got me, let’s mix it : i have many scars in my high place which makes me depression and frustration. 
In my busy schedules as singers and lyricst, i always find way to looking for my ex girlfriend. She is the best inspiration which is living in my soul. 

“are you reader of ms.minatozaki?” the waiter shocked me.
I shake head, he bowed at me, “iam sorry, this your vanila cupcake and yoghurt smoothie” then he back to work. I didn’t say thank you because i have to be aware. i don’t want to be first online searching because stalk my ex.

Like usual, my heart sunk when see this menu. This is sana’s favourite. She would whine along the day if i didn’t bring this menu to home. yup, she is my ex but she lived with me in our little house. she helped me to treat my grandma.

My eyes land on office again but i can’t find sana. It’s only 5minute, i saw her, i still miss her.

“vanila cupcake and yoghurt smoothie, juseeyooooo~~” my ears catch sana’s voice.
I take glance to cashier table, there is sana which wait her order. Her taste never change. I stare at sana, maybe she feels it, her eyes try to look at around cafe. I pretend to focuss on phone.

“this is your order, ms.minatozaki...”
“thank you.....” 

I look at sana again, i want see her bright smile. she is type who smile to everyone. i almost cry, watch her smile like this makes me want her more. Better iam lowering my head to hide my red eyes. When i heard the door is closed, i look at ouside, sana’s hand is linking in someone’s arm. surely she is her girlfriend and i should be happy because sana isn’t sad anymore.

One hour later, i have talkshow schedule, so iam ready to out. Yet the waiter suddenly follow me, “sir...” he think iam boy as he never see my full face. my eyes isn’t too showing my gender. 

“this is ms.minatozaki’s new novel, she finally finished her last trilogy novel. You need buy 2 others but i give you this novel because she gave me two. She knew that iam her fans..” she is proud of sana, “this is based on true story~”

I bowed at her then enter my car.
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...I can’t catch up to your already long gone footsteps..

After the talkshow is finished recording, i back to my apartment. My grandma hug me, we have dinner together. she never forget asked about my days and my feeling. she understand me, she doesn’t call sana’s name in front of me. after i ate, my grandma tap my shoulder to show how great iam, then i enter my bedroom. 

i threw my bag then enter bathroom. I bring sana’s novel. Honestly i read all sana’s novel, include trilogy novel. The title novel is The wind. The first trilogy, The Wind : Spring Blossom. This describe how sana meet her lover (it was me). the time our love was very beautiful. The second trilogy, The Wind : Find Feet. This explain how broken hearted sana when i left her. the broken-up without goodbye. The last trilogy, The Wind : Warm Shelter. 
I open the novel, i know this last trilogy will speak how cruel iam. I also guess its about her new someone. call me crazy, i torture myself to read it.

The Wind : Warm Shelter
By Minatozaki Sana

I open my eyes slowly, there is no single day that i wake up with nice eyes. My puffy eyes as proof how terrible my life without you. my heart keep ask same question : where are you? you left everything behind. My steps still looking for you, ever you try to do same? i don’t think so. 

Listen to me !! iam gonna look for you as i wipe away my tears. I WILL GO.. I WILL FIND YOU.. WE WILL MEET SOON !! 

My foot arrived in korea. I find you in all places, even though your daddy is korean and your mommy is japanese. yet you never live in korean because you are born and grow up in japan. Surely i can’t found you.

Almost one year, i looked for you. my money is out, my heart is tired and my skin is rough. Yet you never show-up. the funny, i still in here to find you, i even go to all cities and little village in korean. One years are passed quickly again. in my last city, you aren’t found. I re