SEHUN

-

(but it was a game.)

JOOHYUN

I feel completely drained and absolutely confused as I lay here in my bed, staring at my white ceiling. 

So much has happened this past week, and as I think more on it, it just makes my head ache. I wonder if Kyungsoo really cared about me, or he was playing me because he was bored. Actually, I'm the one who has wasted my time. I wasted my time worrying about him to the point of wanting to help him. Everything - he just threw it away. 

And with Sehun...Why is he even trying? What's the point of this? He's made fun of me since the first day of tenth grade, so now he wants to talk to me? Now he "wants" me? What does that even mean? Really, it seems like a fight of dominance, and whoever wins gets the trophy, which is me. 

Maybe I should sleep this off. I am exhausted; I need a good night's rest. 

Just when I was about to flick off my lamp, my phone starts buzzing on the table next to the bed. I take my phone from the table to see if it's Seulgi calling me. Instead, an unknown number. I blink as I begin to think it's probably some advertisement. So, I placed my phone back on the table. After hearing it ring a few more times, I decided to just go ahead and answer, then I'll hang up as soon as I hear that monotone voice.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver, a deep frown imprinted on my lips. 

"Hellooo?" an all too familiar voice said right back. 

I quickly shot up, a loud gasp escaping my lips. My face paled and my heart sank into my stomach. "Se-Sehun?" I stammered out. I'm stunned to even be talking to him, let alone him having my cell number. 

"Yes, that's me," he chuckled out. I gulped. "I would like to get to know you more. And the only way to do that, you ask?...I want you to go on a date with me."

I widened my eyes. "Wh-what...? A d-d-d-date?!" I exclaimed until realizing that it's close to midnight and Mom is fast asleep, so I immediately hushed myself. "A date...?" I repeat a lot more quieter. 

Sehun laughed a bit. "Yes, of course. Meet me at the cafe down the street from school tomorrow right afterschool."

I was too busy stumpling over my own words because of what he said. Before I knew it, he bid me goodnight and hung up, leaving me utterly confused and speechless. 

Since I'm not the kind to stand others up, I decide to go to the cafe downtown. Of course, I don't have a car, so I had to ask Mom to drive me there. I didn't want to tell her that it was for a guy, so I just said a friend. She didn't question further though; she was just glad to see me going out. 

Finally, I arrived in front of the cafe that Sehun told me to go. I begin to think about the things that may occur in here. Once I remember about what happened during the night of the festival, I start to tell myself that I need to act cautious around him. I don't know what he could do if I'm not careful. 

So, after my brief pep-talk, I make my way into the cafe. It's quite easy to spot Sehun among the others, maybe because of his...menace vibe. I take in a few deep breaths as I try to ready myself. Running a couple of fingers through my hair, I walk over the table that he sat at in the corner of the cafe. 

Once I'm close, he notices me and smiles. My face heatens at how attractive he looks from just smiling. Of course, he's attractive anyway, but I never really noticed it until recently. Tons of girls are all over Sehun, which makes me wonder again why he chose me. He had so many other girls to choose from, so why me?

However, I have to remind myself that I shouldn't be thinking of that right now. I have to give him a chance - give this a chance. If anything goes wrong, I'll just go about my life like how I was before I met him. 

I settle myself in the chair across from him, clearing my throat awkwardly. I avoid eye contact with him, even though I know he's staring intensely at me. It makes me faint just from the thought of his dark eyes on my body.

"I'm glad you showed. I wouldn't know what to do if you bailed," Sehun said, placing his chin on the back of his clasped hands. I could see that he smiled wider from my peripheral.

I nodded meekly. "Oh, uh...yeah...I'm not really the one to stand people up anyways, so..." I trailed off, my whole body heating as each word spilled from my mouth. I shift uncomfortably in my chair.

Sehun chuckled. "Well...I sure hope not."

I remain silent, my eyes on everything else except for him. I can't help feeling nervous around him. I feel like if I say anything, he'll quickly use it against me. Although I want to stay away from him, I somehow feel this need to stick around, just to see what happens. 

Is that the best choice, though?

"Can I get the two of you anything?" 

A voice broke me out of my thoughts. A very familiar voice, too. 

I look over and see just who I knew would be there. 

Kim Minseok. 

When our eyes lock, I tense my muscles, completely stunned. I almost forgot that he works here part-time. It's been about two months since we made any interaction with each other, yet every memory we made together is still very well fresh. And, I know that he didn't forget about me, too. Just from his expression, he's feeling the same type of conflicting emotion I have whirling around in my stomach. 

Sehun, however, notices us. His smile almost immediately disappears as he seethes, "No. I think we're good."

Minseok gets taken aback from Sehun's intimating tone. He looks at me, then back at him before nodding uncertainly. With that, he quietly walks off, and I'm able to breathe again. 

Sehun glances at me. "I reckon you two know each other...?" His eyes are darker now, and I feel myself shrinking under his gaze.

I open my mouth, before closing it. I shake my head briskly, a nervous smile appearing on my lips. "Ah, no, not really...I barely know him, actually," I lie. I didn't want someone like Sehun to know how close I was to Minseok. It'll be better that way. 

Do I forgive Minseok for what he did? Hell no. 

But, do I still care about him?...Hell no. 

But, I just don't want him knowing about our past relationship. He may jump to unnecessary conclusions. 

Sehun nods slowly. It's quiet for a few moments until he finally talks again. "Look, Joohyun...I don't want us to be awkward around each other...I know this may be a bit fast-paced for you, as a lot of things are happening all at once. But...I want you to trust me. I really do like you, and I would like to get to know you...If you allow me to, of course," he sighs out. 

I take his words into consideration. Maybe he's right. I barely know this guy. Why am I making it seems like he's some bad person? He could be really nice and caring and different from everyone else.

I should give Sehun a chance, like I said before. 

So, after a few moments, I nod genuinely. "Okay...I'll give this a try, Sehun." 

Sehun smiles. 

"So, wait, hold on...Let me get this straight...You're going for Oh Sehun now?" Seulgi exclaims that night as I'm on the phone with her to tell her about the current events. 

Now since I'm hearing her say it aloud, it does seem a bit ridiculous. I would've never thought that I would be talking to the almighty Oh Sehun, and then he would ask me out on a date, and indirectly want me to be his girlfriend. I don't know if this is a dream, or a nightmare, honestly. 

I sighed into the phone, rubbing my face with my free hand. "Look, I know it sounds really weird, but I'm just trying to see how this'll work out. Sehun may be a good guy, you know?" I try to convince her. 

But, Seulgi takes none of it. She scoffs, laughing bitterly. "Yeah, right! Good guy my ! Do you remember what that douche did to Kyungsoo - his own friend, mind you - just so he can 'have' you? Isn't that a little suspicious?"

I'm quickly reminded of the festival's events as soon as the word Kyungsoo comes out of . It is true that what Sehun did was very bizarre and out of this world. Him and Kyungsoo were friends, and he just strained their friendship over...me. 

And, about Kyungsoo...I don't even want to think of him. He threw me away, like trash. From everything I've done for him, and to everything we've done together...I thought that I actually could trust him, and maybe...maybe I was developing feelings for him. Genuine feelings, and not just some silly crush, like I had on Jongin. I thought he was different from everyone else - that he actually cared.

But, obviously, that's not the case at all. 

Kyungsoo is no different from the rest of them. And...I no longer want any part of him.

For the next couple of days, it actually seems like Sehun and I are a couple. 

People are talking about us, rumors are going around (good or bad, I don't know, I just don't want to hear them), and, of course, Sehun's friends are confused on to what happened. They wonder why Sehun chose me over every girl in this whole school. 

Frankly, I don't blame them for questioning. I wonder the same, too.

Now, for Sehun and I, he comes up to me and talks to me in between locker breaks in school, and when the bells about to ring, he bids me goodbye and kisses my forehead. Of course, I've never gone through the experience of having a legitimate boyfriend (if he even is my boyfriend, what the hell), so it's a bit overwelming...Who am I kidding? It's really overwhelming! 

With Seulgi, I can tell she's quite disappointed in my decision. And, I can understand why. This is Oh Sehun we're talking about. He could dump me tomorrow, and not feel a thing from it. I'm risking that chance by being with him, but, at the same time, I can't help the fact that I'm irrevocably attracted to him. He's every girls' wet dream. 

However, that doesn't change the fact that I'm still very uncertain and uneasy when I'm with him. He's unpredictable - I don't know what he's about to do, and when's he going to do it. Maybe...I don't feel exactly "safe" around him. 

And, I know Kyungsoo sees us. It makes me feel guilty, so much to the point that I actually want to...apologize to him. I know that I said that I could never forgive him, but perhaps, I'm the one I can't forgive. Sometimes, I feel like Sehun...forced Kyungsoo to do what he did. Like, this wasn't Kyungsoo's decision. And, when I asked Sehun about it, he brushes it off and says that Kyungsoo really didn't care about me, and only wanted to use me. 

Although I've only known Kyungsoo for a short amount of time, I know he's not the type of person to do that. He's hard to get to know, and he will try to push you away, but if you insist enough, he'll let you in. 

So...Does that mean that Sehun isn't who he seems? Did he really force Kyungsoo to do what he did?

...Perhaps...

Is he the one using me?

A week passed. 

There's nothing new going on between Sehun and I, and the commotion about us has died down. Not a lot, but enough. 

But, the more I think about Kyungsoo, the less I start to worry about Sehun. Whenever I see Kyungsoo in the halls, I almost want to come up to him, just to hear his voice. And, then...I would want to apologize for everything I've said to him. 

Finally, I decide that's what I need to do. 

I try to catch a time when Sehun doesn't come up to me, which is when lunch rolls around. His locker is all the way upstairs, so it takes him longer, and he decided that he'll just meet me at lunch. 

Just when I'm about to close my locker to prep myself for this dreaded conversation, I hear someone's footsteps come up. I wonder if it's Sehun, and why he's here. 

But, when I turn, it's someone completely different. 

Kyungsoo! 

My breath hitches in my throat at seeing him this close. I haven't been able to look him in the eye, or smell his masculine scent. And, when his plump lips curl into a weak smile, I realized how much I missed him. 

I'm losing my breath just looking at him. My heart is rushing in my chest, and I have to lean on my locker to keep myself from falling over. I've never felt so impacted by someone like this before. Maybe I really do have feelings for him, bu