YIFAN

-

(but he was a childhood friend.)

JOOHYUN

Yifan...? As in...Wu Yifan...?

This can't be true. Everything was so surreal at the moment. 

The man before me is not only my childhood friend...but my first love, as well. I haven't seen him in almost ten years, because he moved from Seoul and went to Daegu. But, he's back? And for what reason? 

I have mixed feelings, and all of the questions that I had swirled in my head were stuck in my throat. I could only swallow them down and hope that he remembers me, too. 

Finally, Seulgi breaks the ice with a very obvious question. "Yifan...Wh-what a surprise...! What are you doing here?" Her lips quirk in a sweet smile, her eyes sparkling in recognition at seeing her friend from ten years ago right in front of her. 

Yifan scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. He has a slight pink tint in his cheeks, and I begin to wonder what he's going to say. "Well...I'm actually here with someone," he states. Finally, he looks over at me, and notices me as well. He smiles at me slightly. "Joohyun...Almost didn't recognize you. Is it the hair?" He absently points at my dyed hair, although the dye is slowly fading out. 

I unconsciously raise my hands to my hair, a bit insecure all of a sudden. Why? I have no idea, so I say, "Oh...Yeah. I dyed it," I say, embarrassed. 

Seulgi cuts in, "Uh, no I dyed it!" She rolls her eyes. Yifan raises an eyebrow. She gets closer to him, putting a hand over as an attempt for me not to hear her, but I hear her crystal clear. "It was for a guy," she whispers out, wiggling her eyebrows before backing away. 

My face heats involuntarily. I shove her a bit. "Seulgi..." I scowl. 

Yifan chuckles. "You two are still the same as I can see."

Seulgi raises her eyebrows, putting her hands on her waist. "Is that bad?"

Yifan laughs this time. "Oh no! It just brings me back, is all."

Although I want to be as involved in this conversation as the two of them are, I'm still in utter shock. Seeing Yifan like this after so long...It was almost like a dream. He looks so different, but not in a bad way. His dark brown hair sweeps over his forehead like a child, but his sharp and pristine features make him look older than he actually is. He's actually...attractive. 

I blush even at the thought of it. Snap out of it, Joohyun! Don't mess this up like you do with everything else. I take in a breath as I keep repeating that in my head like a mantra. Don't screw this up, Joohyun. Act...natural. 

But, those thoughts are short-lived once I see a girl run up from behind Yifan and take his arm. He looks over shocked for a split second until a genuine smile spreads on his face. This girl...Who even is she?

As I glance over at Seulgi, it seems as if we're thinking the same thing. Her eyes are swimming in a lake of confusion as she stares at the girl cuddling up against Yifan's arm. Suddenly, I feel...uncomfortable.

The girl speaks, "Hey, Yifan! Uhm...Who are they?" she asks nicely, her face sparkling with kindness and glitter. I could only stare. 

Yifan gestures to me and Seulgi. "Yoojung, these two are my old friends back when we were little kids. This is Seulgi-" he points to her "-and this is Joohyun." He points to me with a smile. I almost melt. "Guys, this is Yoojung."

"It's nice to meet you," Seulgi says, bowing her head slightly. I do the same, and Yoojung grins back. 

Yifan's face gets pink again and it leaves me wondering. "This is the person I came here with." Him and Yoojung exchange glances with one another. "She's my girlfriend."

Almost immediately, my breath gets caught into my throat. Girl...friend?

Yifan has a girlfriend?

Wow. 

Who knew. 

Although I seem like it, I'm trying not to think negative thoughts. Yifan has a girlfriend - that's a cool thing. I should be happy that he's in a nice relationship, as far as I can see. 

However...It is a little upsetting to see my first love with someone I don't even know. But, who cares! Good for him - good for her - good for the both of them. 

Seulgi cuts the awkward silence by chuckling. "Wow, who would've thought that I'd finally see little Yifan here in a relationship?" she teases. Now, I'm glad that she came over here when she did, because I know that if I was alone in a situation like this...I would probably die of humiliation.

Then, the two start picking at each other as Yoojung just laughs at Yifan's side. Her hand is securely circled around his arm, and I can only feel my skin twitch as I stare more at her. I should just leave. I feel as if I'm just going to get worse the more I stay. "Uhm...I'm going to step outside for a moment. Excuse me," I cut in weakly. I give the three of them a fibbed smile. 

Seulgi looks worried, as expected. "You okay?"

"I'm fine - don't worry," I assure, and I walk away from all of them. Once I'm outside in the crisp wind, the moon shining amidst the darkness, I sit on the pavement. It's silent, so it helps me think more, but I don't want to think because I know I'm going to start thinking about Yifan and I already want to punch myself. 

Okay, I admit. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of his relationship with Yoojung, and I nearly want to scream. Back then, ten years ago, it took me almost a year to get over Yifan when he moved. He was the first person I had such an emotional attachment to. He understood me more than anyone else. He was probably my only guy friend until I entered tenth grade and Joonmyeon filled that spot. 

So...I know that I can't feel like this. Matter of fact, I can't feel like this ever. Not only does he he have a girlfriend, but he seems committed into keeping that girlfriend. I don't want to get in between that. 

"Joohyun...?"

I look back to see who called me. It's none other than Seulgi. I knew she would come out here - and I knew that she knew what I was thinking, loud and clear. So, as she sits next to me, I lay my head on her shoulders, and she asks, "The feelings are coming back, huh...?"

I close my eyes. I didn't want this to happen. But, I have to admit. "Yeah..."

Seulgi sighs, wrapping her arm around me. I automatically feel warm from her embrace. "Joohyun...I don't-"

"Why...? And, why now, Seulgi...? I don't understand it," I interrupt because I really don't. Everything is so confusing, and happening way too fast for my liking. 

"I don't know either," she replies with, holding me closer to her body. "But...I hope it'll go away quickly."

I nod absently, her words sinking into my head. "Me too..."

"But, anyways!" she exclaims happily, as if we didn't even have that conversation. She leans away from me so our eyes can connect. She smiles brightly. "I got Yifan's number. Want it?" Her smile turns into a smirk quickly.

My eyes widen in surprise at her sudden words. But, as she begins wiggling her eyebrows at me suggestively, I start to think if I really want his number or not. Who knows what will happen if I get it, and text him or maybe even call him? My stomach churns even at the thought of talking to him personally. 

I shake my head frantically, denying the number. "N-nah...I wouldn't know what to do with it."

Seulgi stares at me, as if she's thinking that I'm going to change my mind. When she sees that I'm solid about my decision, she shrugs and stands. "Alright then. Come on," she gestures her hand out to me, "let's stop being emo slumps and actually have some fun from the amazing party that you and your's truly created, okay?"

I gaze her at hand for a bit, before finally taking it with a grin. "Right."

"Do you want to come over and spend the night?" I ask Seulgi once the party ends. Everyone who attended the party is standing outside, waiting for their parents or whoever to come pick them up. 

"Yeah, why not? I don't feel like dealing with my parents right now anyway," she says, rolling her eyes. 

"Joohyun, Seulgi!" someone calls for us behind us, so we turn, only to find Yifan running towards us. I can feel Seulgi's eyes glance over at me in concern. But, I try to act natural, and not trying to show that I actually like him again. 

Then, again...Why is he even coming over here? And where is his girlfriend? So, I look over his shoulder to see Yoojung about twenty feet away. I tense at the sight of her. She looks like she's waiting for Yifan to finish what he's going to say to us. 

I turn my attention back to Yifan, though. His face is bright with a grin quite evident on his face. I smile at it, but I remind myself to act natural, so I quickly drop it. 

"Uh...What's up, Yifan?" Seulgi starts, crossing her arms. 

Yifan says, "I have good news. I enrolled into your school, and my first day is Monday. I can't wait," he says excitedly. 

However, I'm in a state of shock at this "good news". I can't believe it. Could this get any worse? I'm supposed to be avoiding Yifan, but this is just an invitation for disaster. I exchange looks with Seulgi, and it seems like she's feeling the same way. 

"Anyways, I have to go now. It was really nice seeing you two after so long, again." Suddenly, he looks at me, our eyes connecting. My chest contracts and I almost can't breathe. "I've missed you..." He smiles at me and this time, I really can't breathe. "Anyhow, goodnight!" With that, he waved at us goodbye as he walked over to Yoojung. We waved back, and I watched as Yifan wrapped his arm around Yoojung's shoulders. 

He looks back at me before smiling one last time and finally, walking off into the darkness. It seems as though Seulgi didn't realize anything that has happened because she begins to bicker on about her new lover, Wendy. I just stand next to her, silently. 

What the am I going to do now?

The two of us are sitting on my bed across from each other. Seulgi is wearing my pajamas since she didn't bring any clothes with her, but she only complained on how "depressing" they looked - whatever the hell that means. 

I watch as she plays on her phone (probably texting the love of her life) and I can only wonder about Yifan, and how she has his number. I narrow my eyes at my own thoughts. So...Does that mean that I want his number...?

"Seulgi...?" I start quietly, my voice a hush. Seulgi doesn't look up from her phone, but I know that she acknowledges me. "Uhm...Can I have...Yifan's number now...?"

Seulgi freezes for a moment as if to take it in that I actually asked her. She glances at me through her eyelashes, and I'm afraid of what she's going to say. However, she just laughs. I raise an eyebrow at her antics. "I knew you'd give in!" she says, still laughing. 

I groan, but I couldn't help the fact that my face begins to heat up. "J-just give me the number," I stammer out. This only makes Seulgi laugh more. 

That night, I couldn't sleep. Since my bed is big enough to fit a whole family in it, Seulgi and I share a bed whenever she comes over. The only thing I could hear is Seulgi's loud snores right in my ear. I groan quietly.

The reason why I'm still awake at such an ungodly hour is because I can't get Yifan out of my head, not so surprisingly. I don't know what to do so I could stop thinking about him. 

However, my thoughts of going to sleep are short-lived once I have the idea of calling him. But, I quickly dismiss it. There's no way he could be awake!

...But, that still doesn't stop me from silently stepping out of the bed, phone in hand, and going to the backyard. With shaking hands and a beating heart, I go to Yifan's number in my hand and press Cal