Today was the 73^rd day.

The thought came surging like an unstoppable wave right after my eyelids fluttered open. It had become a constant reminder of what I have left with; if there was any at all. As if to confirm my thought, I glanced timidly to the other side of the bed.  Nothing, just a cold empty spot. I could feel my heart fell, tightening, nearly suffocating me. I shouldn’t have put my hope high in the first place. I should’ve known better.

I heaved out from the spacious bed and prepared myself for the day. A beautiful feline trailed along behind me, purring softly to get my attention. I gave it a tiny smile, carried it up on my hands and its fur softly.

“Good morning, Jiji-ya. You’re up early today, hmm? Good boy.” I rubbed the head of the purring feline as a reward and it happily my palm in return.

I carried Jiji back to its room then settled it down on its bed. I gave it milk and cat food which it immediately chomped on. I decided to stay for a couple of minutes to make sure it’d eat well. Satisfied, I got up and went to put on my shoes. Unconsciously my eyes wandered around the place I started to live in since 5 months ago. It was really spacious and luxurious with expensive things furnishing it. The view it has was absolutely stunning as it showed the whole city of Seoul from above. I used to be so happy to live in here. I mean, who wouldn’t be? It was like a dream home. However I was dumbfounded when I realized how this apartment felt now. It felt empty; cold. It wasn’t warm anymore. Living here felt like being wrapped in a diamonds embedded blanket yet it didn’t prevent the coldness at all.

He is not here, that’s why.

Work couldn’t have been more stressful today. The part time job I took for extra money just happened to worsen my feelings. Five out of seven of the teenagers I taught as a private teacher chose to annoy me rather than paying attention to what I tried to convey to them. It was a very challenging task to keep my temper down since they were practically mocking me by ignoring me.

Slumping down on my bed back at the apartment, I couldn’t contain all of my pent up feelings anymore and totally broke down. It just hurt so much I thought my chest was going to tighten to the point of suffocating me to death.

Why all of this is happening to me? I used to live such a happy life. I used to have nothing to regret.

It was still crystal clear in my memory of how I was happily exclaiming out loud that I was content with my current life, that I wouldn’t get any happier than this. I remembered him pinching my cheeks afterward and rewarding me with a bone-crushing hug. I remembered how I thanked him for everything. I remembered his unique scent, a mix of expensive perfume and a scent that solely belongs to him invading my mind, making it messier than it already was. I remembered him the feel of his soft lips against mine when he planted a chaste kiss on my lips. I remembered everything. About him.

“Jaejoong-ah…” His name naturally slipped out of my lips between the escaping sobs; as if it was going to bring him back by my side. How foolish of me to even think of that.

He didn’t even contact you for the last three weeks, what makes you think he would come back by your side? After leaving you for 73 days? My inner self told me off.

Because he loves me…

Right?

I tried to argue back, only to have the last thing I need to invade my feeling, adding up to the mess. Doubt.

Trains of doubting questions took its toll on my mind.

Does he still love me? If he does, why is he ignoring me? Is it that hard to take one minute off from his precious hectic schedule just to text me, to remind me that he’s still there, that he’s coming back soon, that I need to wait for him a little bit longer?

Look at what you’ve become. A poor girl who stupidly wish for him to tell you that you have to wait. A girl who is so willing to wait… for what?

My inner self told me off once more, the pure truth that I desperately pretended to not know. In the past, I would confidently dismiss the question with “I wait for him to come home to me”, but now… I don’t know anymore. He had left me with his huge yet empty apartment and Jiji to take care of. I don’t mind to live in his apartment, taking care of it and his pet; but it’s starting to get harder as time passed by. It was fine for the first two weeks since he managed to call and text me, to have me convinced that he’s coming back soon. However as days passed by, it started to feel like a dream, one that cannot come true. The last time he contacted me was three weeks ago, a really short I’m busy to reply my Jae, I miss you. Honestly it hurt a lot to have him replying me that way, but I came to understand and believed that he got my message; that I’m waiting for him, thus he’d contact me soon. Sadly, it was just a wishful thinking of mine. He never contacted me anymore ever since. I don’t want to bother contacting him either if it’s just I’m busy that I’d get.

But if I don’t contact him, he wouldn’t either.

This is going nowhere.

Devastated, I hugged my trembling body as I curled up on the couch, still having a messy stream of tears on my swollen face.

The sound of the bell ringing brought me back from my depressed state. Feeling more self-conscious than ever, I dashed to bathroom, immediately splashing cold water to my face to erase any trance of massive crying that I just done. A sudden thought hit me so hard that I momentarily stopped doing anything.

Who could that be?

Is it Jaejoong?

Is he finally coming home?

I felt a sudden determination pumping through my adrenaline. I rushed myself to get changed into a pretty summer dress, sprayed myself with his favorite perfume, combed my hair and put a thin layer of powder on my face and finishing it up with a touch of lip tint on my lips. Throwing away all of my plan to pour out my anger on him once he got back, I decided to welcome him with the best effort I could put off. I missed him so much and I’m going to show him just how much.

Satisfied with the way I look, I made my way to answer the ringing bell. Expectations built up so high that I felt my heart beating with both anxiousness and nervousness. It has been 73 days, lonely painful 73 days after all..

Calming down my rapidly beating heart with an inhale of a shaky breathe, I slowly pulled open the door. Unknowingly a wide smile was formed on my face as if to welcome him.

“Hi, Icha!”

It was a familiar face indeed, but it was not him. It’s not Jaejoong. I could feel my eyes getting hotter and hotter but it was nothing compared to the destroyed hope I just felt a while go. The smile that I put on faltered from my face.

“What’s with the dress and make up? Are you going out somewhere?” I simply shook my head. I couldn’t find my voice as another break-down was fast approaching. I clutched on the handle of the door real hard like my life was depended on it.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m okay, Junsu.”

My second attempt on angsty one shot! But I had to divide it into two parts because it's too long ^^;

Part two coming soon!

Please check out my other oneshots in this story because I just finish rewritting them all.

I'm pretty satisfied with them actually so please do read them~

Oh, and don't forget to drop me a comment please :)