JYJ showcases around Asia and America had finally ended. Massive exhaustion followed them afterwards. Thus they were given a three days off from work to recharge their energy before coming back into the hectic entertainment world.

It was noon at the second day of the given days off. Kim Jaejoong was alone in his luxurious and spacious apartment. He no longer shared the same apartment with his band mates, Yoochun or Junsu, and he honestly felt grateful for it. He wanted - needed the comfort of loneliness.

He was lying down on his huge bed. His eyes were tightly closed, yet he was feeling extremely restless. Even though he had been mostly lying down on bed for the past two days, he couldn’t get a blink of sleep. Jaejoong was used to it; having sleepless night on daily basis. Sleep was precious, especially for people like him, yet a good one never visited him, even since that lawsuit.  

Lawsuit…

The case that made him separated from the other two of his family members- his precious brothers. Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin.

It made him wonder now, what are they doing at the moment? With whom they are now? Have they eaten their meals? Are they healthy? Are they doing well?

Are they angry at the three of them for leaving?

Are they… happy, without them?

These trains of thoughts always drove him mad. It had been unstoppable, clouding his restless mind for the past two days. He couldn’t help it though. The thought about Yunho and Changmin was always inevitable whenever he had time to think alone. That was why Jaejoong chose to work 23/7 rather than having time to himself; because he was weak when he was alone.

Loud sobs and sniffs could be heard clearly, even echoing through the cold walls of Jaejoong’s empty apartment. This was the very reason why he was grateful to live alone, separated from his two current band mates, because he was actually this weak. He might appear strong and happy outside, covering up well with his fake smile and encouraging words, but inside he was shattering to pieces. The thought of DBSK, the group he loved the most, separated, and the fact that it was nearly impossible to pull the five of them back together, broke his so-called strong heart long time ago.

He loved his friends with all his heart. It was an undeniable true fact. He has experienced the bittersweet moments in his careers with them for years. The other four were already a part of him; a pillar for him when he needed support and comfort. It was only natural for him to want them to be together again. But his act to seek for justice was preventing them to do so. He never regretted his decision to file the lawsuit though, because he was a man of justice himself. He only wanted fairness and he was going to get that. Unfortunately, only two out of the four of his brothers stood by his side on his journey to gain justice.

He clutched his now tightening chest, curled in a ball on his lonely bed. He face was half buried on his pillow with streaks of tears staining the pillow sheet. His usually styled hair was messy and unorganized. His face was awfully pale and dripping wet with his visible red eyes. It was very heartbreaking to see, yet this was true defenseless form of Kim Jaejoong, in which he desperately tried to hide from his fans and his friends. His very weak side.

“Jaejoong ah.”

A soft female voice called out his name out of the air. Jaejoong looked up from his pillow; alerted and curious of the owner of the familiar voice. He felt a soft hand caressing his air, followed by a sudden appearing of a female figure above him. Her plump pink lips kissed his tears away; with her silky long black hair caressing Jaejoong’s cheeks in the process. Jaejoong stared at her, awed; as she offered him a gentle smile. She was slightly paler than Jaejoong, with red lips gently smiling and beautiful green eyes providing reassurance to Jaejoong. Her insanely beautiful features put Jaejoong under a spell.

She leaned over to kiss his tears away once more. Her long hair touched Jaejoong’s nape this time, making him shivers in delight. She sat back; caressing his head and throwing him another gentle smile. Jaejoong stared at her with a small smile dancing on his own lips.

“You’re here.” Jaejoong mumbled, acknowledging her presence. She nodded lightly. Jaejoong lifted his head to rest it on her lap. She didn’t resist and proceeded to softly run her hand over Jaejoong’s face. Her melodious voice was humming soothingly for him. He smiled in content, his chest somehow felt lighter.

This was what Jaejoong needed the most, comfort; which was provided by the fragrance of his imagination in the form of this insanely beautiful unreal girl. Yes, the girl was merely a projection of his imagination, yet she felt so surreal to Jaejoong. He had been drowning in a sense of comfort whenever she appeared even though she was unreal. Jaejoong was very well aware of this yet he chose to do nothing because he needed it as much as he needed the air to breath. It was the only comfort he could get.

“Tell me.” Jaejoong broke the comfortable silence. His voice hoarse from hours of crying and lack of water, but the girl got his question, but she didn’t quite get the meaning of his demand. She titled her head in confusion.

“My name?” She inquired, completing Jaejoong’s unfinished form of demand. Jaejoong nodded to confirm her. She lightly giggled at him.

“I’ve told you before; you are the one who created me, Jaejoong ah. So you are supposed to be the one who create my name too.”

True, Jaejoong created her out of nowhere, to fulfill his need for comfort. But no matter how hard he raked his brain for a name to suit her, he couldn’t found one. It just never came to him.

“I don’t know either…” Jaejoong sighed in desperation after a while.

“How come someone doesn’t know her own name?” Jaejoong asked her, his face frowning from thinking too hard. She giggled in response of Jaejoong’s cute behavior.

“My name is not important, Jaejoong ah.” Jaejoong eyed her hard, but she replied him with a genuine smile. “For now, you should just go to sleep. Forget about all of those things. Stop thinking, stop worrying. Because someday… someday, you see. Everything will fall back into the right place. It’s going to be alright.”

She pressed her lips gently against Jaejoong’s and brought him to his peaceful slumber land.

A loud knocking on his door woke Jaejoong up from his long slumber. He narrowed his eyes to adjust to the brightness of the room; it was early in the morning. Jaejoong had over slept for a day; finally getting his share of sleep. He looked around his apartment but his comfort was already gone. He let out a sight.

“Hello! Anybody home?”

That voice was awfully familiar to Jaejoong’s ear. He remembered hearing it a lot of times already but he couldn’t get a grasp of whose voice was it.

“Wait a minute!” Jaejoong yelled back to the guest behind his door.

He rushed to the bedroom to freshen up himself. Looking at his reflection on the mirror, he looked much better than he did yesterday. He splashed the cold water over his face and dried it with a towel while walking over the door.

He peeked through the peephole and found a girl bowing exactly 90 degrees while holding out a plate of muffins. Jaejoong didn’t know her. It could be crazed fangirl, Jaejoong’s mind warned. But he recalled her voice earlier, it was terribly familiar and it made him really curious. Going against his logical mind, he opened his door the stranger.

“Annyeonghaseyo! I’m your new neighbor living next door. Pleased to meet you! Oh, and please accept these chocolate muffins I just baked.”

Upon hearing her cheerful familiar voice, Jaejoong had a smile playing on his lips as he accepted the offered plate of chocolate muffins. The new neighbor straightened up at last to face him.

The two of them simultaneously gasped as the recognition dawned their mind. Jaejoong’s heart was about to fell because of the great shock he got.

“You are Kim Jaejoong!” The girl exclaimed utterly surprised; recognizing the world wide star. She had to close with both of her hands as her jaw practically dropped out of surprise.

“You are…!” Jaejoong exclaimed; equally surprised too.

That girl who was standing in front of him in flesh was the fragrance of his imagination, his comfort! Jaejoong couldn’t suppress his shock as he shot one of his hands onto the wall for support. His weak body didn’t help either as he was skipping meals for two days.

Upon seeing the idol she adored looked like he would fall any time, she shot her hands to hold him by his torso to support him on reflex. Jaejoong stared at her, feeling grateful yet still extremely shocked.

“What’s your name?” Jaejoong did his best to make the question audible to her. The question he desperately seeked the answer for, in which his comfort couldn’t provide; but it might be provided by this girl in front of him.

“Kwon Icha.” She answered immediately.

That moment Jaejoong was sure that she was real, that she wasn’t only a projection of his imagination. She was his comfort in flesh.

“Are you okay?” Icha helped him to sit down on his couch. She took the plate of muffins out of Jaejoong’s hand and placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Sensing Jaejoong’s eyes boring on her, she suddenly felt very self conscious.

“I’m sorry. I have invaded your privacy, haven’t I? So stupid of me.” Icha muttered while hitting her head with her first a couple of time. She proceeded to bow to Jaejoong, unable to meet his intense stare.

Jaejoong laughed out loud for the first time ever since his day off started. He felt completely light hearted at the moment. Icha straightened up and eyed Jaejoong confusedly; not understanding his sudden weird behavior.

“Do you have time?” Jaejoong asked after his laughter died down. Icha stared at him shocked upon hearing the question that hinted he was interested in her. She nodded unsurely.

“Would you mind to stay? I would like to get to know you better.” Jaejoong smiled at her, completely genuine and inviting. Icha wasn’t able to muster any word; nodding her head instead to answer him. Jaejoong’s smile got wider.

Somehow inside him he knew that he would no longer need the comfort that his imagination provided.

My first attempt at writing angst. Not as good as I want it to be >_<

Please tell me what you think about it on the comment box bellow :)