- 5 minutes -

{my inner feeling}

Have you all wondered that the ones that you think your friends are really, really your friends? I always wondered about that. How would you know it? I mean, of course we could simply ask but will it be an honest answer? I’m starting to doubt. I’m starting to doubt whether the one that I called ‘friends’ are really, really friends. Why did I even think it? I, myself don’t really know but still, it’s hurt.

                “Come on, it’s class time.”

                Soyu looked at her friend, Bora as she finished taking her books from her locker. Soyu nodded her head and said, “Okay, you go first.” She watched as Bora gave her smile and walked toward Hyolyn and Dasom who were already walking.

                After seeing they walked far enough, Soyu shook her head and mumbled, “Argh, I’m thinking about it again.” She then closed her eyes and took a deep breath, smiled. She then took out her books from her locker, closed it and made her way to the class.

                Soyu was sitting on her chair, her table in her class with both of her hand folded across her chest looking forward throughout the classroom. It was break time between classes but she was hardly interacted with her own classmates. It’s not that she didn’t want to, it was more she... can’t. She wasn’t a talkative person. Shy would be a suitable word to describe her. She was considered herself silent type. At first she didn’t mind but it slowly began to eat herself. It bothered her by a lot.

Soyu looked around the room, expecting the usual routine, having fun, talking, joked around and even chased each other like elementary school kids. She called herself the observer. She liked to observer other people.

Soyu then looked to her left, her friends that she considered best friends. They were having fun of course, but it saddened her heart a little. They were laughing together without... her. Interested, curious with what it seem fun, she went closer and blended in. Boys, what seemed they talked about. Like always she did, she just sat there, laughing when appropriated together without knowing the content or at least half of it. It’s... sickened.

 What is wrong for being shy? Soyu didn’t mind it. It was her personality after all. It was a part of her. Her life and yet now, she slowly begun to regret it. She was in her senior year already but she only knew hardly anyone. She didn’t even talk to the most of her classmates even when she was in juniors.

Soyu wasn’t good in sport hence she wasn’t a player. She wasn’t technically intelligent hence she hardly got top 10. She wasn’t famous and not that she wanted too. It was just . People didn’t seem to know her. It bothered her a lot.

Soyu glanced around, having no interest of the conversation. She saw one of her classmate – Im Yoona. Yoona was someone that she was jealous off. Yoona was clever, almost known for her top one rank. Yoona was talkative and quite friendly. People seemed to enjoy with her and many knew her. By saying the name Im Yoona, everyone knew who she was; teachers, juniors even other parents. There was one thing that Soyu felt it unfair. Yoona would always be the representative on everything, anything. No matter how hard Soyu had tried, it just didn’t work. The teachers had only eyes on the popular students. Even so, Soyu couldn’t hate Yoona. Yoona was nice.

“Soyu,”

Soyu snapped from her thoughts as she noticed Bora was calling her. “Yes?”

“It’s already lunch, wanna come.” Bora asked.

“Sure, I’m hungry.”

Soyu was walking with her friends and that what she tried to think but clearly it didn’t work. She didn’t felt like it at all. she felt as if she was walking by herself. Hyolyn, Bora and Dasom were walking together in one line and Soyu tried to walk beside them but it didn’t work. It annoyed her so much. The path was so narrow hence only 3 people could fit. The fact that it wasn’t one way sickened her because somehow she would be the one that had to give room when others