It wasn’t often that Minhyuk and Hyungwon got new neighbours. Actually, the last time they got new neighbours was when they moved into the apartment themselves. And as per usual, Minhyuk was jumping with excitement. Like literally jumping.

    “Pipe it down a bit will you?” Hyungwon groaned from the other side of the flat. “I’m trying to ing study.”

    “Come on, man! What if our new neighbour is a really cute girl? Or in your case a really cute guy? What if they’re like more awesome than us? Which isn’t possible by the way but what if they come close!?” Minhyuk feverishly rambled on. Hyungwon looked up from his textbook, and pushed up his glasses. He wore a scrutinizing expression on his face.

    “I’m not sure if I should be this excited if I were you.” He said, “I mean, look at the people we already live near. There’s the shut-in in room 202. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him before. Then there’s the guy in room 206 that seriously needs a restraining order, like, I met him for the first time and he knew all my personal information including my blood type, which I didn’t even know myself until he told me. In room 201, there’s Manga Girl- I swear, whenever I run into the halls, she has a piece of toast in , then whispers “doki-doki senpai” to herself before running the other direction. Then, there’s occult guy living in room 203. Walked into his room once and saw him performing some weird ritual that would allegedly summon the flying spaghetti monster. And as far as I’m concerned, I’m pretty sure room 201 is unoccupied. What I’m trying to say here is that we haven’t had the best luck when it comes down to neighbours.”

    “Hmm…” Minhyuk mused. He then flashed Hyungwon a sunny grin. “Well, whatever! Even if we get ourselves a terrible neighbour, it’s nothing we can’t deal with, right?” Defeated, Hyungwon sighed. A small smile formed on his lips.

    “You’re right. How bad can it be?”

---

Early in the morning, when the new neighbour moved in, Minhyuk was excitedly waiting. He had helped her move the boxes, and he dragged Hyungwon along to show her around.

    “You are way too nice to strangers.” Hyungwon commented as he and Minhyuk sat at a table, sipping their coffee after the new girl left. “I could swear she thought you were hitting on her. She even specifically told you she had a boyfriend after you tried to help her up after she fell. Plus, she looks like the girl from the Ring with her hair uncombed like that.”

    “She does seem pretty stuck up, but this is our first meeting. But if we dealt with Kihyun during our first few months together, we can deal with this girl!” Minhyuk concluded. He was so wrong. Night time soon rolled around.

    “Is it just me, or does the toilet paper in our house smell like rotten milk?” Minhyuk asked while graciously taking a dump. He looked towards Hyungwon who was brushing his teeth. “You listening to me?”

    “I’ve never paid attention, no.” Hyungwon rinsed his mouth. “I’m going to bed early today. I’ve already made my prayers to God for giving me such opportunity to go to sleep before 10 p.m.”

    “Okay, goodnight!” Minhyuk called after him. He then proceeded to wash his face and climbed into his own, comfortable bed. Soon, the pair were happily in dream land. Suddenly, Minhyuk’s eyes snapped wide open. Something wasn’t right.

    "Hyungwon!” He whispered from the top bunk. Said man groaned from the bottom bunk, signalling that he was awake. “Something isn’t right!”

    “What do you mean?” Hyungwon croaked. “Is it really important enough to wake me up?”

    “Yes! Didn’t the narrator hint that something bad was gonna happen? Like with our new neighbour?”

     “I don’t remember-“

A sudden cacophony of what sounded like Armin Arlert screaming interrupted Hyungwon. Basically, their new neighbour’s terrifyingly loud noises. Like seriously, it was louder than Hyungwon banging his piano with all his might. Minhyuk hurriedly climbed down the bunk and switched on the light. He then proceeded to share horrified glances with his roommate.

     “GOD ING DAMNIT.”

---

Minhyuk swore he has never seen Hyungwon more upset in his entire life. He was hunched over at the table, glaring daggers at the cup of tea he made for himself. Minhyuk didn’t blame him. He knew all too well his friend loved sleep more than anything else, and for it to be disturbed by some girl’s mortifying noises was probably devastating. Some of their other neighbours had woken up due to this misfortune as well. Earlier, they had seen the guy in room 206 sitting outside the loud girl’s door, jotting down notes. They didn’t ask. The shut-in in room 202 had taken the courtesy to peep his head out of the room. He made eye contact with Minhyuk before shutting himself back into his hole. Now, Minhyuk heard another door open. He peeked his head into the hallway.

    “Oh my god, Hyungwon look at this!” He motioned for Hyungwon to come. Looking annoyed, Hyungwon dragged himself over to the door. His eyes widened.

    “What the ….”

Occult guy had situated himself out in the hallway, as he lit some candles and placed them in circular formation in front of himself. He then proceeded to get down on his knees and placed his hands together in prayer.

    “All hail the all mighty flying spaghetti monster!” He cried, lowering his forehead onto the ground. Minhyuk winced.

    “I never thought he perceived the flying spaghetti monster to sound like that. Shouldn’t it sound…more threatening?”

    “Man, I dunno.” Hyungwon yawned. “If it’s disturbing my sleep, it’s threatening enough for me.”

In the end, Minhyuk had to knock on their door to let them pipe it down a little. He then proceeded to fight the loud girl after she cursed at him for disturbing them. Meanwhile, her partner made a beeline for the hallway while buckling up his pants.

    “Sorry, sorry,” He hastily apologized to Hyungwon, who had his head sticking out into the hallway. Hyungwon raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “You know, that girl you were hearing this entire time isn’t actually your new neighbour. I am. She’s my girlfriend, and she’s just helping me move in. So…uh yeah.”

    “I have the greatest impression of you right now. I’m sorry but can you please get the girl from the Ring out of here this instant?” Hyungwon seethed. Petrified, the man quickly nodded, and hurried off to drag his furious girlfriend out of the apartment.

    “Go home you’re drunk!” Minhyuk shouted after them, upon returning to his own home. Hyungwon sighed.

    “You know that isn’t how you use that line, right?”

    “I don’t care, that deserved it.”

---

    “You’re ing crazy.” Hyungwon scoffed, as he and Minhyuk walked through the nearby supermarket. It had been two days since the neighbour incident happened, and not much has changed since then. Except for the fact that Minhyuk was feeling sorrier each passing minute. “I know we were rude to them, and we should apologize, but sending them a gift basket? It wasn’t us in the wrong.”

    “We’re always in the wrong.” Minhyuk lamented. He had purpling bags under his eyes, and he dragged his feet wherever he went. “It doesn’t matter if we’re right or wrong, we have to apologize anyways.”

    “Hey, hey…” Hyungwon threw a worried glance at his friend. “What exactly did your past girlfriends do to you?”

    “Everything.” Was the, uh, slightly concerning answer Minhyuk gave. "Is what I wish to say, but I've never had a girlfriend so I don't have a clue." In the end, they paid for the gift basket, and headed for their apartment. But instead of walking to their own door, they went and knocked on their new neighbour’s door instead.

    “You’re doing all the talking.” Hyungwon said. The door opened, and their neighbour stuck his head out.

    “Uhm…” Minhyuk struggled to string his words together. “I-uh, we’re really sorry for what happened two days ago. Well, it wasn’t us in the wrong, but we’re sorry for being rude to you guys.” He handed the gift basket to the neighbour, who just stared at it in response.

    “Let’s go back.” Hyungwon nudged at Minhyuk. The two quietly went back to their own room, where they saw a bulk pack of toilet paper sitting in front of their door.

    “It says From: Wonho. I’m gonna guess that’s our neighbour.” Minhyuk observed His eyes suddenly widened. “Holy , its double ply toilet paper! Goodbye that crappy single ply toilet paper we’ve been using, hello premium good we can’t afford!” He bounced around their room excitedly.

    “You know,” Hyungwon mused. “I didn’t get a great look at this Wonho before, but now that I look at him, he’s kinda hot.”

    “HYUNGWON, NO.”

A/N

If you haven't noticed already, this entire story is loosely based off every slice of life comedy anime ever. 

References: 

The flying Spaghetti Monster is apparently a religion. 

Everyone should know what The Ring is, right?

Armin Arlert is a character in Attack On Titan that has one hell of a scream.