In which Hayi runs and worries 

ft. Lee Hi/Hayi and iKON Hanbin

1776

Why Yang Hyunsuk sajangnim wanted to put his remaining male trainees, in addition to two more new-face trainees (rumor to be three), into another survival program was beyond her, but Hayi liked to think the man knew what he was doing. 

Still, Hayi has her worries. 

It's been two weeks since the show, Mix and Match, first aired its first episode, and although she was preoccupied with the preparations for her upcoming projects, Hayi still found the time to watch the show like it was her religion. 

Not that she was obsessed with her label's male trainees.

No, she was simply concerned. 

Especially about a certain someone. 

Hayi sits in the empty practice room and sighs. Practice was over for the day, but she didn't want to leave just yet. She just wanted to sit and... do nothing for while. With her back pressed against the mirrors and her legs propped up, she stares off in the distance.

From what she can tell so far, Mix and Match is very different from WIN. It hadn't been long since YG's first survival program, WIN:Who Is Next, ended and yet here she was, worried all over again, just like the first time, if not more. 

She can only imagine the amount of stress weighing on the boys' shoulders. She knew some of them better than others, but as they are all a part of YG, she considers them family and for that, she naturally couldn't help but worry about their  health, mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

Personally, she herself trained a bit under this management for a few months before she debuted with her title track 1, 2, 3, 4, so she understands their struggle to an extent. Training at YG, and she assumed anywhere else for that matter, was no walk in the park. It was tough, extremely draining, and Hayi found herself at a constant battle with herself within those several months. She barely managed to survive a few months of training, so she couldn't even begin to fathom what it was like to train for years not knowing if the day would ever come for one's debut. And that was what was happening with her friends. 

What is still happening.

It's a constant push and pull, a cruel race in which the finish line seems to be getting closer yet further away all at the same time. 

She closes her eyes, because she hates to think about it. She hates to think that all of this is for publicity, simple exposure of YG's upcoming boy group iKON. Feelings as vulnerable and dreams as genuine as theirs shouldn't be played with. And all for the price of what? Publicity? 

She dares not to question her CEO's decision, but Hayi just has so many concerns.

The door momentarily swings open, and her eyes flicker at the noise. 

Enters Kim Jiwon, more commonly known as Bobby, who looks distraught. He looks around the room before looking at her, and that's when she notices the cameraman behind him. 

But the camera is turned off and the employee simply looks concerned.

"Have you seen Hanbin?" Bobby asks in hurry.

Hanbin? 

Hayi shakes her head. "No. Why?"

Bobby curses under his breath and just as he's about to leave, Hayi stops him, slowly getting up from her seat.

"Is there something wrong, oppa?" 

--

Running out of the building as if her life depended on it, she hails a cab and tells the driver to take her somewhere. 

"Is there something wrong, oppa?"

Bobby looked at her as if contemplating whether or not he should tell her. He seemed to lean towards the latter and after a few seconds shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, Hayi. I gotta go."

"Wait," she called out firmly, stopping him once more. "If something's wrong with Hanbin... I need to know. Maybe.. maybe I can help. What's going on?"

Bobby hesitated but figured if there was anyone who knew Hanbin better than he did, it was Hayi. With sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked at her. "Hanbin went missing."

Hayi blinked, thinking she didn't hear right. "W-What?" 

"Hanbin's missing," he repeated. "We're supposed to be filming right now, and he's supposed to be making lyrics for tomorrow, but when I went to go check up on him, he.. he wasn't there. No one has seen him since this afternoon and no one has any idea where he is. Everyone's trying to find him."

Her heart dropped.

"But why.." Hayi furrowed her brows. "Why would he disappear just like that?" 

She didn't understand. This wasn't like him. 

Bobby gave her a tired smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, and the sight made her stomach churn.

"Probably because the rumors are true. Sajangnim added another trainee."

She bites her lips anxiously as the Han river came into view. Once parked, she pays the driver and runs out of the cab. Hayi has no idea if where she's headed to is right, but something tells her Hanbin might be here. It's a long shot, but it's the only lead she has right now, and she's willing to take her chances for the sake of finding him. 

There are many moments in which Hayi has regretted the decision she made six months ago, and this is one of them. She swears she only had his best interest in mind when it happened. Their break up was supposed to be a good thing. It was supposed to help Hanbin focus on the things that matter, like leading his team and debuting. Their breakup wasn't supposed to crush him in the way that it did. When Who Is Next first aired, Hayi wanted Hanbin to go in the program with a clear mind. 

No distractions which meant no... her.

She couldn't tell him the real reason why she ended their one year relationship; he would never go with it, so Hayi made the break up as believable as possible. Hanbin didn't take it too well as expected. The boy was a stubborn as a bull, but with his participation in WIN and her Rose promotions, the two of them became much too busy to be brokenhearted. Hayi was thankful. It was a good distraction for the both of them. When Team B lost later that season, Hayi was at loss, not because at the fact that they didn't win (she knew Team B's day will come one day), but because she realized at that point that she didn't help him at all when she ended things. She only added onto the weight on his shoulder. She only burdened him more. Knowing that, Hayi wanted nothing more than to run back to Hanbin, apologize and console him, but she couldn't. 

She was too much of a coward. 

But not anymore. Not today.

The scariest thought raid her mind. 

What if Hanbin... 

Hayi runs. She runs as fast as she can, as fast as her legs will carry her. She doesn't care that her lungs begin to burn, that her legs ache, or that it was getting hard to breathe. She runs, because this is Hanbin, and she still loves him. 

She never stopped loving him, even after their break up.

God, she loves him so much, and she swears that if she somehow finds him all in one piece in the middle of this dark night, she's going to tell him while beating him up into a stupid pulp. 

"Come on, come on, come on, Hanbin, where are you..." she mumbles to herself as she jogs around the vicinity of the bridge.

She glances to her right just as she's about to turn left and stops dead in her tracks as a shadowy figure a couple yards away from her catches her attention. Even from here, she can tell it's him, and her steps slow at the familiar outline. She gets closer and closer, her steps slow but heavy, and she sees him reciting lyrics from a piece of paper, making scribbles with his pen, his phone playing music in his other hand. He's too engulfed to sense her presence, and she takes her final step, three feet away from him. 

"Kim Hanbin.." 

Hanbin turns at his name, his eyes widening at the sight of her. "Hayi.. What are you.." 

"You stupid," she croaks as tears glistened in her eyes. 

Alarmed, Hanbin turns the music off and places his hands carefully on her shoulders, examining her worriedly as she begins to tremble in her spot. "What happened? Why are you.. why are you crying?" 

Several tears slip out before she glares at him, roughly brushing his arms off her. "Idiot. W-Why did you run away?" she counters, angry. 

Hanbin pulls back stunned. "Hayi.." 

"Do you know how worried I was?! When Bobby oppa told me you went missing, I nearly... I.. How could you do something so irresponsible, Hanbin? And while filming of all things! Why are you so goddamn immature? You're those kids' leader, and without a word, you just abandoned them like you didn't care. Is that what a leader does? Abandons his team? Why did you disappear like that, Hanbin?! God, what would you have done if the company contacted sajangnim? Or worse, the police? Did you even think of the repercussions of your actions?!" she shouts, huffing in anger. "How could you be so stupid?"

Hanbin avoids her gaze and says nothing. 

Hayi's glare remains and she opens to continue her scolding, but when she sees the dejection on his face, she softens. Shaking her head,  she suddenly lowers her voice and whispers, feeling dejected herself. "If you needed time alone or air to breathe or even space to just think, you could've at least told someone, Hanbin. I..." More tears fall, and she quickly wipes them away. "I was so afraid you were going to do something stupid and then I wouldn't get the chance to...." She stops and exhales loudly. "I love you."

Hanbin blinks, slowly registering her words. But he doesn't believe them. 

Maybe he heard it wrong. 

"What did you just say?"

Hayi sniffles, taking a step forward. She lightly punches his chest with her fists clenched and looks down. "I said I love you, so don't you ever do that again. You idiot." She continues to punch him with tears running down her face, each punch of hers getting weaker and weaker.

Hanbin quietly lets her and momentarily envelops the girl he loves into his embrace, his safe, warm embrace as he softly kisses her temple. 

"I'm sorry for making you so worried, baby."

I posted the master list, please read it regarding requests~ Oh if you didn't know, Hanbin disappearing actually did happen in Mix and Match, ep. 3. That bit made my heart hurt when they found him alone in the dark with his thoughts, writing lyrics and stuff. Sigh, I ship him with Hayi so much. Hope you enjoyed! Comments and upvotes are appreciated~ 

xoxo, --kayotic