I stared at my phone. 2 missed calls, he had called me twice today. I felt numb whilst I stared at the screen until the images disappeared and it turned black. It’s fine. I missed the calls and there was no voicemail. All I had to do was close the notification and I would be back in the same world as I had been five minutes ago. Far from him.

I forced myself to look away from my phone for a moment, focus on the world around me. People were quickly walking passed me, on their way to check in. Others like me were sat on the chairs, either waiting for their check-in to open or to watch their loved ones leave them.
Okay, bad train of thought, that wasn’t going to help me feel better.
I took a deep breath.
As I unlocked my phone it started to vibrate. Him again. As I my dry lips I knew he wouldn’t stop trying until he had spoken to me. Could I face him?
‘Hello?’
‘Hi.’ His voice was still as familiar to me as it had been two years ago.
‘How are you?’ I was on auto-pilot. Useless phrases came out easily.
‘Me? I’m fine. No, what I mean is, how are you? What are you doing? I heard from Sarah you’d gone on a trip. To South Korea of all places!’
‘I’m fine.’ He’d spoken to Sarah? That traitor. I’d have to talk to her when I was back home.
‘When will you be back, I need to talk to you.’
‘We’re talking now.’
‘Stop being childish, you know what I mean.’ I bit my lip out of frustration, knowing that he was right and I had sounded childish. But my emotions were hyperactive and it was hard to ignore the increasing pain.
‘I’m getting on the plane in a few hours.’
‘Good, I’ll see you after you land. I’ll go to your place.’
‘I’ve moved.’ I answered after only a short pause. It would have given me quite a lot of pleasure for him to show up at the wrong place, but I suppose that would have been a pointless and childish prank as well.
‘Oh.’ He paused. It was unfair for him to sound disappointed, he didn’t have the right. ‘Text me your new address.’ Just like that? Why would I have him over in my place? Like we were friends or something? I felt like telling him to ask Sarah if they were such good friends.
My God. I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down, but I refused to surrender to the sadness. I didn’t want to be sad about him anymore. It was fine to be frustrated, it was fine to be angry.
‘Hello? Hello!’
‘Hey.’ I heard your voice through the croud’s multitude of noises. Even as I looked up I expected it was just my imagination, but you were actually there. Most of your face covered by a face mask, your hoodie up so it was just your eyes staring down on me. ‘Are you okay? You’re crying.’
‘Ah sorry,’ I hurried to wipe the traces of the tears away. I had imagined talking to you again, but now I knew who you were, I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. I vaguely noticed how he was calling my name on the other side of the line. ‘I’ll text you,’ I said and immediately ended the conversation in the middle of his confusion. I stood up and noticed you were taller than I remembered.
‘Bad news?’
‘No, no nothing like that.’ I smiled.

I was curious, but seeing her smile at me ensured me it was okay to forget about the phone call for now. Her smile was just like I remembered, her hair lighter in the daylight. ‘Did you come for a holiday?’ Not quite what I wanted to ask, but it was as good a start as I could think of at that moment.
‘I came for your concert.’
‘Ah.’ I don’t know why I felt slightly disappointed. Of course she knew who I was, how else could the cardigan have found its way back. Carefully I studied her face.
‘It was amazing.’
‘Thanks.’ Her smile faltered.
‘I’m going back home today.’
‘Stay.’
‘I-’ she didn’t finish the sentence. ‘Do you want to talk somewhere else?’ Honestly I hadn’t noticed that my presence had slowely started to draw the attention of the people around us. I had been completely absorbed in her. She started walking away and I reached for her hand. She looked surprised when she looked back at me. I held my breath as she looked around at the people, but to my relief she didn’t pull back. She closed her fingers firmly around mine and I smiled.

You had to let go of my hand as we both got into the car, it’s windows dark, making it very hard to see in the underground car park. You didn’t drive off, we were here to talk. But neither of us seemed to want to break the silence.
You had asked me to stay, but I hadn’t answered.
‘Why do you want me to stay?’ I had to ask. I had to hear.
‘I missed you.’
‘You didn’t call,’ I whispered. Afraid you'd also call me childish I looked away.
‘I’m sorry.’ The words were muffled by the mask. I reached forwards and pulled it down. You didn’t pull away, but reached for my hand. You covered my hand with yours and gently pushed it against your cheek. Then you turned and placed a light kiss on my wrist.
‘I’ll stay.’