Dear Nayeon,

Do you remember the first person you’ve been afraid of ?

I was in Junior high that time. My world revolved around sports.

“ya, My oppa seems to like you.” Sana told me as she passed the ball. We’re in soccer field. Practicing daily.

“I don’t like stuffs like that.” I said.

“You dork. “ Jihyo smirked.

“Ya, it’s because my life revolves around sports” I said.

my life revolves around sports and a certain person.

 “Nayeoooon!” I waved at her while doing soccer at the field.

 “here goes, Her girlfriend.” Sana teased.

What?! I face turned red as she said that. Come on! We’re both girls, aren’t we? I walked towards Nayeon and talked to her.

“How was practice?” she asked.

“Nothing much, the sun burns!!” I said doing a very wacky expression.

She laughed seeing my expression, “You look so tan now.”

“Yeah, and your skin is as pale as ever. You’re getting thinner too.” I said, as I worry.

Nayeon had always been pale since young and she’s always weak. She loved staying indoors and would write stories and poems. But more than any other talents, its her singing that is most amazing.

"Do you eat enough?" I asked as i look at her thin wrist.

“Thanks for the worry, jeongyeon. But I’m fine.” She said as she pulled me hugged me from the bak.

That was the first time, my heart beats turned so abnormally fast. So fast that i was afraid it might come out from my rib cage.

That was the time I became aware of her roses smell, the way how slender she is. And how soft is her figure. I was aware of her entire being. 

Days came when my eyes would naturally search for her in the crowd, When I would secretly look at her and somtimes, and When i will find myself staring for no reason at all. It also started that my heart would beat incredibly fast when I touch her skin or when our eyes would meet. 

I was so confused that time,that I didn’t know what it is.  I was scared of seeing her that I avoided her.

I was scared to love you.

I was scared on how my heart beats fast.

I was scared of how you can affect me in any way.

I was afraid on how you could kill me anytime you want.

I was afraid of you.