What He’ll Never Have

Part Two: Hair

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“So, how do you feel?” I regarded Sehun with a wide smile.

“So freaking pumped!” He grinned back at me. 

“You should be. You look awesome.” I laughed as his eyes dragged up my body, the look of sheer appreciation spread across his face. “Who knew you could clean up this nice? We should’ve forced you through bootcamp years ago.” We were about ten feet from the school entrance and already people were staring. My stomach did nervous flips, a dull thud beginning to beat against the inside of my temple. I wasn’t used to having people look at me and realized too late that I was in no way prepared to have EVERYONE on the school lot do it. It was hugely embarrassing. “Dude! Park Ji-yeon is looking at you!!” I followed Sehun’s gaze, landing on the ‘it’ girl of our school. She was top dog as far as ladies were concerned and sure enough her eyes were fixed on me. I gulped in nervousness, diverting my focus to the school doors and speeding up ever so slightly. I’m going to throw up. 

Thankfully Sehun kept pace with me and waited till we were at our lockers to comment. “Seriously Jongdae, you can’t be so nervous!” He rolled his eyes, roughly ‘patting’ (more like a slapping) my cheek. “You’re hot. People are looking. That’s the point! Get used to it.” I sighed, nodding my head in understanding as I fiddled with the locker combination. He was right. Getting people to see me was the entire point of this... I just hadn’t factored in how uncomfortable it would feel. I want to go back to quietly reading books in the library. 

“...and dude, go get your girl!” 

I looked up, realizing Sehun was still talking to me, a smirk spread wide across his face and eyes glued to something behind me. Searching, my eyes found purchase on a lithe figure, clad in tight black leather pants and a long pink T that read ‘Basic’ in block letters, leaning against some lockers about ten down from where we stood. 

Baekhyun. 

I stared. Holy sh*t! Did he always look like that?! I realized in that moment that he probably had, but I had never looked. 

Platinum hair- tasseled and pointing in every direction, not enough to look messy but just enough to look... like hair. hair. There was no other word for it. He looked like he had either just been mulled by a grizzly bear or gotten seriously laid. I doubted it was the former. 

Black leather pants that looked painted on they were so tight showed every dip and curve of his legs... and . Holy- Muscled arms emerged from the pink T with cut-off sleeves, revealing just enough of that creamy, flawless skin stretched over chiseled muscle for the imagination to fill in what the rest looked like. 

This boy didn’t look weak and girlish as I had always thought he would. No, rather he was extremely boyish, strong even. But not steely like the jocks that tried too hard to impress girls. Jocks like Chanyeol... who currently stood, stocky and stupid, about a foot and a half from Baekhyun, boxing him in against his locker. 

My eyes narrowed at the pair, assessing the situation. At first glance they looked to be flirting the way they talked and laughed and stood too close, and the way Baekhyun was crammed between his locker and the school jock. But upon further inspection it became clear that this was not the case. 

Baekhyun had both arms in front of himself- one holding the other in an almost defensive manner. His body, which at first glance I had thought was leaning against the lockers, was actually pushed back as far into them as a person could get, putting as much space between himself and Chanyeol as possible. On top of that, the closer I looked the more I could tell that the short spurts of laughter he released every couple moments or so was staged and awkward. ‘Leave me the alone!’ his body posture clearly stated, though Chanyeol appeared oblivious with both of his hands pressed against the locker on either side of Baekhyun’s head, constantly talking to keep the boy from leaving. I gaped. The idiot was literally forcing Baekhyun to stand there and talk to him. 

That’s my way in. 

I grinned, shutting my locker and tugging my backpack strap over my shoulder. 

Deep breaths. You got this. 

“I’ll see you in class,” I told Sehun, patting his shoulder roughly as he had done to my face, and ignoring the quizzical look he shot me before I strode past him towards the two. 

Baekhyun hates clingy. It was something I knew simply by watching his interaction with Chanyeol. He wanted to be seen and liked for sure - the clothes he wore were a testament to that - but too much attention clearly wasn’t his deal. Less is more, I told myself, letting my eyes drag past the two towards nothing in particular down the hall. My walk was confident but nonchalant. Composed but seemingly oblivious to the world around me. It was practiced and had taken me some time to master but Sehun and Xiumin had given me the thumbs up a couple weeks ago. 

Speaking of which... at that exact moment Xiumin turned the corner in front of me, heading in my direction but too far away to see me just yet. Perfect. I in a gulp of air as I neared the two, steadying my breath and shoving shaky hands into my pockets. I was trying to look as if I didn’t have a care in the world. As if I were cool. 

I was close enough to hear them now, Chanyeol’s irritating voice was doing what I imagined he thought was a ‘y voice’ though it mostly just sounded awkwardly low-pitched. Gross.

“...so on Friday we could grab drinks you know. Or do something else.” I rolled my eyes at his lack of tact, hearing Baekhyun awkwardly laugh. I was almost directly behind Chanyeol then. Here goes nothing.

Continuing to walk, I let my eyes drag disinterestedly to Baekhyun, catching his gaze for a moment as I let out a small huff of mocking laughter and drawled, “ off Chanyeol. He clearly doesn’t want to talk to you.” I kept walking as if nothing had happened. 

There was a definite pause in silence behind me and I realized then that I had spoken loud enough for almost everyone in the hallway to hear. Sweaty hands dug deeper into pant pockets, clenching into nervous fists and waiting for the ball to drop. My eyes turned away from the two, locking immediately on Xiumin, who had stopped walking and  looked as though he were contemplating running back in the direction he had come from. I stared at him, making it clear that if he ran now I would seriously harm him later. He didn’t budge. I kept walking towards him, just barely managing to remain in the same lazy pace I had begun in, as opposed to sprinting... which was what I desperately wanted to do right now. 

Chanyeol’s totally going to kill me. 

“What did you just say to me?” The furious call came, echoing down the hall after me.

Here we go. 

in another breath, I tugged my right hand out of its hiding place in my pocket and flipped the bird over my shoulder, not bothering to turn around. 

This also was planned. Sehun, Xiumin, and I had talked at length about the best ways to get back at Chanyeol. Together, we had made a list. A strategy. 

It went something like this:

Number one: stop fearing him. A bully’s main weapon to control people was fear. Fear of having their reputation damaged, fear of being excluded, or in my case... fear of physical pain. Consequently, that would be the very first thing we would strip away from Chanyeol. 

Number two: destroy his reputation. Chanyeol had been top dog for as long as I could remember. He was the best because he said so and because no one challenged him. This would make ruining his reputation that much easier. He was rusty, unused to having to prove himself. Of course I wouldn’t be able to top him in most things - he was athletic and wealthy in a way I would never be - but I didn’t have to. I just had to beat him at one thing. That would most likely be enough for him to hit the self-destruct button on himself. Easy. I would outsmart him into making himself look stupid. 

Number three: steal what he desires most. To top off his battered ego and smashed reputation (which would also lead to a sudden decrease in friends if we were lucky), the final kicker would be when I claimed Baekhyun as my boyfriend, a feat Chanyeol had never been able to accomplish.

Boom! Just like that Chanyeol would be destroyed. 

Of course my reputation would be slightly messed up too, what with being suddenly ‘gay’ and all but I hardly cared. I had nothing to lose. I was just the school Loser - lowest of the low - dethroning the school . 

Flipping Chanyeol off apparently worked, if the deafening silence and hushed whispering behind me were anything to go by. I heard multiple people mumble, “who is that?” which made a lot of sense considering most of them had probably never noticed me before and those who had wouldn’t recognize me. But really, all I could feel when I reached Xiumin, tugging him into (what I hoped was) a nonchalant bro hug and discretely pulling him along with me down the hall towards our first class, was an incredible wash of relief. Relief that I hadn’t been punched in the face. Whether Chanyeol had been too stunned to move or too embarrassed to do anything about it I wasn’t exactly sure, but a sudden feeling of accomplishment and triumph welled up inside me so I chose not to care. 

Damn it felt good. For the first time in four years, I stood a chance at matching Chanyeol. I felt almost giddy. 

“.” Xiumin whispered in astonishment, his first words to me since tugging him down the hall. “That really just happened.” 

“Yeah.” I grinned back at him. “It really did.” 

* * *

What He’ll Never Have

Part Two Completed.

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