What He’ll Never Have

Part One: Hot Boy

Jongdae's POV

* * *

Today would be different. 

Black eyes stared back at me from beneath dark bangs styled and swept to the side. A white fitted v-neck and torn grey skinnies alluded to the toned muscle I had spent my summer building. Legs, arms, shoulders, abs... not a trace of the pillowy fat that previously cushioned my body remained. In fact nothing, I realized as I regarded myself in the bathroom mirror, was the same. I was a new person. I had worked hard to become so. 

And today, I was going to get my revenge. 

I had hatched the plan at the end of last year during a moment of clarity. I was lying in the dirt bruised and blurry-eyed with tears streaming down my face. Park Chanyeol stood above me. He and four of his followers laughing and kicking dirt in my face (as if the copious amount they had made me eat earlier wasn’t enough). It was the last day of school and it should've been glorious. 

Should've been. 

But it wasn't. 

Because someone somewhere had decided that s like Park Chanyeol should be gifted with everything good in this world: exceptional genetics, money, and athleticism... and that same person, whoever they were, had decided that I should be all the worst: scrawny, untalented, and entirely invisible. 

Normally guys like Chanyeol wouldn't have even noticed me, much less care. However, my uncoordinated limbs had decided on the second day of school to fumble at the exact worst possible moment, causing the large bowl of hot soup I was carrying through the cafeteria to accidentally drop all over the jock. It had, in effect, placed my name on  the top of Chanyeol's list of ‘twerps to beat on’.

Awesome.

When the high school All Star had a bad day, he took it out on me. When he was bored, he took it out on me. ...and when he was extremely happy, he took it out on me. I was his pastime. And everyone knew it. 

Consequently, the only friends I had: Sehun and Xiumin, were also on his list. Those who get beat up together, stay together. It was something we laughed about when it was just us three but in moments like the one in which I was eating dirt- alone and feeling so, so small -I realized just how not okay my life had become. When did it become acceptable to beat up students just because they accidentally got food on your jacket ONE time?! That didn't warrant a beating even once and I had endured it for an entire year. Why was anyone okay with this? Why was I okay with this? It had to stop. 

But what could I do? Chanyeol was far stronger than me, far bigger, and far more popular. How could I compete with that?

As I walked home that day sore and shaky, and doing my best to preserve the little dignity I had left I saw him. 

He was quite a distance away, on the other side of the school parking lot, perched gracefully on top of an old Camaro laughing with some girls. 

Byun Baekhyun. 

To most he was known as the 'gay' kid. 

Popular. Attractive. And ty. 

...at least that was the rumor. Whether or not it was true I had no idea. I had only ever really seen him from a distance since he was apart of the popular crowd and I was not. It was how things worked around here. I didn’t mind. There was no reason for me to ever care, nor know anything about the guy. So I knew nothing.

Nothing.

...except that Park Chanyeol carried a torch for him. A very big one. The school’s #1 most popular all-star- (as I liked to call him) was downright obsessed with the gay, pretty boy. And as far as I knew, Baekhyun had never expressed that he felt the same. Our entire school knew about it due to some awkward ‘romantic’ demonstrations Chanyeol had employed publicly over the past two years. Each time, after the jock’s grandiose attempt to win Baekhyun over, the boy would smile and tactfully refuse without ever actually saying the words. I had never seen this of course, but the volumes of chatter and gossip it created for a couple weeks at minimum was impossible to miss. 

It was perfect. 

In that moment watching the thin figure sprawl flirtatiously against the Camaro’s hood, entirely oblivious to my presence across the lot, I knew that I had found my way to get even with Park Chanyeol. After all, what could possibly hurt him worse than claiming the one thing he could never have? 

I spent that entire summer whipping my body into shape, learning self defense, studying men’s fashion magazines, and imagining the look on that d*ckwad’s face when I stole his ‘girl’. Of course I told Xiumin and Sehun about my glorious plan, fielding all of their questions and ignoring the skeptical looks they shot me. 

“But you’re not gay,” was their final argument against my plan, which... valid point. But who said I needed to be?

“This is just to prove a point to Chanyeol and his imbecile friends. Once I’ve done that I’ll drop the kid. It’s not like I need to be with him very long. It’ll probably even upset Chanyeol more that I took his crush and then dumped him like it was nothing.” Xiumin and Sehun stared at me like I was insane before finally admitting the plan had its merits, and there was no other option. From that point on they became my ‘life coaches’. Forcing me to stop eating when I had had enough, refusing to let me skip my exercise routine ‘just for today’, and helping me pick out clothes that were ‘in style’. Why do people even care about that ? The final touch was the purchasing of contacts to replace my ‘nerdy’ glasses, and a haircut. 

And now at the end of it all, was the first day of a new school year. I was a senior and almost completely unrecognizable with the new body, clothes, and general lack of geeky glasses-wearing-loser-ness. I completed one final glance-over in the mirror before grabbing my leather backpack and stepping out the door. I knew I was ready. 

Chanyeol was going to pay. 

* * *

What He’ll Never Have

Part One Completed. 

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A note from RedNight: 

Hey guys! Thank you for your encouraging comments and subscriptions! Nothing excites me more. While you're waiting for chapter updates (which I will continue to post as soon as possible) please go check out my other fic: For You. It's a Seungjun x Jihun (KNK) mafia!au fic written also upon request. 

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