My first time.

It was like everyone else’s first time.

I wouldn’t say it was all that special.

It wasn’t even close to magical.

But it was something.

I was twenty years old when it happened.

Some people would have it at nineteen or eighteen, even earlier.

But I had it when I was twenty—a rookie idol who was back in her hometown for a day.

My company was known for its strong imposition on the “Dating Ban”. It was written on our contract—two years of no dating after debut. If we were caught violating this provision, out the door we would go.

Exactly like that oppa from DAY6.

However, did they really expect a bunch of teenage girls to really follow through with this suppression?

What did they think of us?

Aual prudes?

The older members were in career-threatening situations when it came to this. I remembered Nayeon and Sana literally sneaking out of the dorm at night, telling the managers they would be buying something from the convenience store when really they would be meeting guys.

I would applaud them for their impressive scheming skills and innovations when it came to sneaking out.

Sana would tell me stories about their secret dates in his car. Sometimes she would even sport a wig just to be unrecognizable.

The company had never known about this.

We were never caught.

It was a secret that we would forever keep within our group.

We were never harmless little angels, Park Jin Young PD-nim!

While the members would tiptoe at night, I would only be sleeping in my room waiting for them to come back with new juicy stories.

But I wasn’t ever innocent of the crime they were committing.

There was this childhood friend that I had.

He was a nice kid, cute and smart. He couldn’t see without his eyeglasses. I had known him since we were babies. We basically grew up together. The only time we were separated was when I came to Seoul to train.

I hadn’t kept in touch with him much after coming to Seoul. He also became a university student so neither of us had the time.

But when I was in Kobe, I made sure to visit him at his university.

He still had the same nerdy glasses on but he was much taller, and I guessed, much more cuter. He showed me around his school and I got to thinking what it would’ve been like if I didn’t become an idol—I would’ve been in that same university.

We hung out at his house, which was next to mine. His parents weren’t home and we were in his room.

That was when the evil spirit of curiosity took over me.

We were all alone.

I had been hearing stories about it from the other girls. And I couldn’t help but think about it too.

I was at the right age.

So, I kissed him. Just like that.

One thing led to another and the next thing I knew, I was flinching in pain.

And I came back to Seoul no longer with my cherry in tact.

I never really told the members anything about it. They somehow just assumed that I had done my first time with one of the boys I was dating legally. They actually thought I had done it with Hanbin. But they never knew I actually had my first time with my childhood friend who was in utter astonishment that he took it from me—his oldest friend who was a rising K-pop star.

If I were to advice young girls, I wouldn’t tell them to do the same thing as I did.

Though it was with a person I had known for my whole life, there was no meaning behind it. I just did it because my friends were doing it and I wanted to know what it was like.

Later on, I realized should have meaning.

And I came to this realization when Momo and I were finally in a romantic relationship.

Promotions for our comeback were still going strong as usual. We just had our twelfth win, and five of those were won consecutively. Overall, we had accumulated 114 wins in our career thus far. Our album and singles were still high in the charts but our show filmings and fan meets were slowing down a bit.

Therefore, we had a little more free time than before.

Every single day I was with Momo but we could never act out the way we wanted to.

There were always a lot of people watching us from every corner.

We were in public nearly seven days a week and we couldn’t do anything about missing each other.

A simple phone call would only do, since we were both tired to meet up after a schedule.

But the company gave us one Sunday off, and the Saturday night before that, we were already together.

Driving home from a fan meet, I told the manager to drop me off at Momo’s as well.

The members immediately gave me cheeky looks.

“Are you girls having a sleepover? Should I just drop everyone off at Momo’s?” He asked.

“No!” The other members yelled together.

I concealed the laughter that was going to blow up.

“Okay. Sheesh! No need to scream.”

I was sitting next to Chaeng on the ride and Momo was too far from me.

Moments later, my phone buzzed. I got a message from her.

“What do you want for dinner?” She wrote.

I was already feeling quite risqué from the thought that I would be spending the night and the next day at her place, so I thought why not start acting like it now.

I smirked as I typed and sent the reply. “You.”

I could hear her