Every student’s favorite part of he day is when their last class just ended and they’re all bound to legally escape the school premises. The school bell rings at exactly 5PM; a signal that could send these young adults into a euphoric stage. But the hype for today’s dismissal wasn’t that massive. It started raining lightly after lunch, yet it intensified and got heavier every passing hour. Truly, going home drenched is not a good idea at all.

“The school administration should suspend the classes for tomorrow.” Jackson complained while walking out of their room with Jinyoung. As expected, the hallway is filled with all sorts of noises which happened to be a little louder than the sound of the rain. Jinyoung stood behind the large glass window and looked outside. He loves this kind of weather, and he thinks he’s the only one inside the campus who’s enjoying the comforting atmosphere that a rainy day could provide. “Last night’s evening news said that the rain will get even worse until Sunday because of the coming typhoon . ” The other added as he stood beside Jinyoung.

Jinyoung looked at Jackson suspiciously. “Now you’re watching the evening news, huh?” he playfully said. “I thought you’re going to practice for your audition?” Jackson’s audition for the drama club has been rescheduled for so many times because of the club’s different priorities. Despite of all the efforts that he’s giving, Jackson remains positive about it. He would sometimes talk to the club officers regarding the new schedule of auditions. Kunpimook, the mysterious kid who asked him to play a female role for his audition piece, promised that he’ll post all the updates and changes in his social media accounts. Although Jackson hates him in every possible way, he must follow Kunpimook’s orders and treat him with much respect.

Looking around to check if there’s a threat around them, Jackson went closer to Jinyoung. “How will I rehearse if that Kunpimook is not yet posting the final dates for the auditions?” Replied Jackson with an annoyed expression. “I want to ask him personally but I’m afraid that he’ll get mad and call me impatient! I don’t want to ruin my image especially to the drama club members and officers. I can wait, but its pretty tiring too.” They begun marching away from their previous place, taking the path with less students blocking their way. Jinyoung wanted to laugh in the loudest form that he can, but he’s too proper to do that.

“You want to ask him about the dates or you want to ask him on a date?!”

“S-Stupid! What are you s-saying?!” Its really easy to get in through Wang’s mind. There are times when he could be so unreadable; leaving people with queries and something to think about. Sometimes, he could also be very transparent—clear as a water which underwent half a hundred filtering methods. Cheeks tinted with a natural bright red blush, Jackson avoided Jinyoung’s gaze. “Why would I ask him out?!”

Jinyoung chuckled, hitting his friend with the thick book that he was holding. “Why so serious, Wang?! I’m just kidding!” he answered in between his giggles. Busted and obviously ashamed, Jackson vowed to keep his mouth shut about all the issues that involves Kunpimook. He must always remember that his best friends know how to test his limits...and they will never stop shipping him with this young Thai law student.

After a couple of minutes wasted on going downstairs from the 4^th floor of the building, Jinyoung and Jackson observed the gradual change of the weather. The clouds got darker, too dark for a rainy 5PM sky, and the rain poured stronger alongside with the terrifying wind. They watched the students around them as everyone struggled to keep their bodies dry. “Dude, do you have an umbrella?” Jackson asked, inspecting his bag and hoping to find the only weapon that could save their lives now. Jinyoung nodded, opening his own bag and taking out his foldable grey umbrella. Jackson held it with much delight. Of course, a boy scout like Jinyoung has a backpack like Dora’s and a pocket like Doraemon’s. He is always ready.

The said umbrella is good for two persons so its only for Jinyoung and Jackson. They hugged their bags to prevent them from getting wet. Jackson opened the umbrella and they’re both set to face the drizzling madness when a familiar yet low voice emerged from the back. “Jinyoungie!” The beautiful guy who’s born with the said name looked back before stepping forward. “Hey Mark!” he greeted and trudged closer to give him a swift hug, Jackson did the same. There’s something different about Mark. His eyes aren’t vibrant, cheeks all pale and his lips are dry as a mound of soil left under the crazy summer heat. “Are you sick?” Jinyoung asked, placing his hand on Mark’s forehead to check if he’s hot. Oh. Mark is hot, but its the body temperature that Jinyoung needs to feel.

“I’m not feeling well since this morning. I strongly believe that its because I took a shower at 11PM last night after doing my project and I forgot to turn on the water heater. What a loser.” Mark weakly narrated the cause and the awful effect of his actions. He sniffed for 3 times, making it visible that he has colds. “Do you need medicines? I’ll get some for you.” Jinyoung offered, leaving Mark’s heart in a fluttering state. He shook his head lightly. “No need, Nyoung. Enough rest is the only thing I need right now.”

“Okay! We’ll send you home, not in your dorm. You need someone to look after you and that is your mom.” Jackson happily mouthed out. He stood beside Mark and pushed Jinyoung to stand on Mark’s other side. With Mark standing in the middle, there’s no way he’ll get wet. Jackson passed the umbrella to their sick mate and asked him to hold it firmly as they walk. They stood at the edge of the covered hallway, ready to walk through the wild but last minute frights attacked one of them.

“Are you guys sure that this will work?” Mark spoke all of a sudden. He coughed twice before speaking again. “I know that you want me to stay warm and safe, but you two will get wet.” Worried, he sincerely said. Mark may refuse to voice it out, but his love for these two guys beside him is beyond words. He can endure all the pain striking his insides right now rather than seeing them catch a cold because of him. Jinyoung gave him the widest smile that he could make. “Then the three of us will get sick! Friendship goals, right Jacks?” Jackson nodded in agreement. ”If you don’t want your friends to get wet, you better bring your own umbrella next time!” Jackson scolded like a mother, making his friends laugh.

Mark isn’t powerful enough to stop the will and determination of his friends to send him home despite the fact that they’re boldly putting their health at risk. Second attempt to leave the safe zone—failed. Why? Because another familiar voice echoed in the area calling for a particular creature. “Jinyoung!” I wonder how many people calls for my name everyday. He thought before turning around.

Jaebum was standing few inches away from them. He’s holding an umbrella on his right hand and a small paper bag with a logo of a famous coffee shop on the other. As usual, a subtle smile is plastered on his face, making him look very appetizing for the public’s eyes. “Hello Jaebum!” Jinyoung waved. Mark and Jackson turned around and greeted the boy too. They’re not close but it’s better to be friendly than to be labelled rude and uncultured.

Jackson kept on nudging Mark’s arm for some reason, yet Mark ignored it. “Hi Mark! Hi Jackson!” Jaebum said to the other guys present in the scene. Jackson must be into something after all. After seeing what Jaebum have on his hands, he tried to make a pillar of his conclusions concerning this guy’s genuine intentions towards his friend. “If you want to share your umbrella with Jinyoung, go ahead!” he said seriously and Jinyoung almost cursed. “What the –“

“I am thinking about that too.” Jaebum observed the size of their umbrella and shook his head. “Its small for three persons.” He added. Somehow, Jackson’s uncanny actions made sense. It would be very appropriate for him to stay with Jaebum and use his umbrella so Jackson and Mark could fit on the other one. In that way, Mark will stop worrying about them. Jaebum smiled at Jinyoung. “Is it okay?” he asked with much anticipation. Afraid that this might cause another heartbreak or rejection, Jaebum took a deep breath and created a wall surrounding his heart.

Fortunately, the heaven is on his side this day. “Of course!” Jinyoung agreed with enthusiasm. “Great!” Jaebum felt like he won in a billon dollar lottery draw. He took a hot coffee out of the paper bag and handed it to Jinyoung. “You need to drink something warm to kill all the coldness building up inside your body.” What a true gentleman.

Jinyoung was stunned by how Jaebum treated him. How did this guy right here know that he’s been craving for coffee since this morning? The aroma of the freshly brewed coffee awakened every sleeping nerve in his system. After murmuring a short ‘thanks’, Jinyoung carefully removed the lid of the paper cup and sipped into the inviting drink. Suddenly, Mark pouted. “Awww! I want one too!” he ranted, stomping his feet like a child. Seeing how his friend devoured his coffee with delight made him crave for the same drink. A warm treat could relieve any undesirable feeling inside his body. 

Not thinking twice, Jinyoung placed the lid back on and whole-heartedly gave it to Mark. “Here! You can have it.” He said with a sweet grin. There was a white line of milk foam on top of his lips, which made him look extra cute. Mark badly wanted to that foam off the other’s lips. It looks so tasty—sweet and soft. Wait. What?! Am I fantasizing about Jinyoung’s lips against mine?! Hell no! But...Damn , Jinyoung! Why’d you have to look this good and make me question myself for days?

“No need! Take it!” Mark immediately declined the other’s offer after realizing that his thoughts are getting wild for the past minute. Jaebum was silently looking them with a sheer pain breaking the walls that he once used to shield his heart. Seeing how Jinyoung effortlessly placed Mark’s needs above his own teared the tiniest hope that he’s clinging onto. If this is normal in their friendship, Jaebum is willing to do anything to stand in the same level as Mark. “Wait, Peachy!” Mark moved closer and wiped the foam off his lips. “You’re not a kid anymore.” He lectured in a gentle voice.

The time stopped for Jinyoung as Mark’s thumb pressed against his lips. This happens usually in their 3 years of fun-filled friendship and Jinyoung doesn’t feel any of these tingling and twitching sensation. Now, things were different. He wanted to ignore the conclusion that all these changes were caused by his transformation as Jenny during some nights. Jumping into such hypothetical remarks is not his hobby, but in this case, he might as well believe it. If the response of his mind and body towards Mark’s deeds are no longer the same as before, there is a huge possibility that Jinyoung is slowly adapting Jenny’s nature—being Mark’s girlfriend.

Jaebum is born to save lives, mainly Jinyoung’s. Snatching him away from the odd thoughts, Jaebum cleared his throat. “We better go now before the rain gets worse!” he covered his true emotions with a grin. The three agreed and gave each other one final farewell. Jinyoung settled beside Jaebum as they stepped off the hallway under one umbrella. Fours steps passed, he turned around.

 “Jacks...” he called and Jackson kept his ears open for further announcements. “Handle my Penguin with care. Don’t take him anywhere, okay?! He needs to rest.” Jackson nodded, standing straight. “Aye, Sir!” he replied. If only Mark was given a chance to choose, he’ll snatch Jinyoung and make him stay with him and Jackson. But then again, its better to share with Jaebum, he can keep Jinyoung warm and dry.

Jinyoung knew that Jackson will never break his words. He finally decided to leave the two, but Mark has something to say before allowing his friend to walk with another man. “Jaebum-ah!” Mark’s voice is not that broad but still audible. Jaebum looked back and smiled. “Take care of my precious Peachy. I trust you.” Mark’s words floated in Jinyoung’s mind like a dozen on balloons flying freely across a flower field. As a matter of fact, Mark’s words are enough to make him feel fuzzy. Jaebum smiled and nodded.

As the two went further, Jackson and Mark watched them from a distance. “They’re pretty close lately. Have you noticed that?!” Jackson said, curious. Mark furrowed his brows and recalled the recent conversation that he had with Jinyoung which involves Jaebum. “Yeah.” Mark will never buy Jackson’s predictions because Jaebum is a real man—there’s no way he will fall for Jinyoung.

“I told you! Jaebum likes our best friend.” Jackson pointed on the men near the university gate. “Look at them! The way Jaebum looks at Jinyoung is not the typical stare that you would give to a friend!” he added, trying his very best to drag Mark into his theories. “Jaebum is always there for Jinyoung! Like he attempted to sacrifice his exchange student slot for Nyoung, he did Park’s assignment last week and he keeps on popping out of nowhere to accompany Jinyoung whenever he’s alone.”

Mark rolled his eyes and grabbed the umbrella from Jackson’s hands. He opened it with less strength and started walking alone, leaving Jackson behind. After realizing that his partner is already several steps away, Jackson hurried and shared with the umbrella that Mark is using. His body got a bit wet. Tuan, you ! If only Mark’s not sick, he’ll get his finely kicked. “You’re overthinking, dude.” Mark seriously spoke. They walked side by side—as close as possible to avoid being soaked. “Every creature in this university knows how friendly Jaebum is. Jinyoung himself said that they’re good friends.”

Of course, Jackson will never raise the white flag. He’ll fight for his side, even if that means changing other’s perspectives and views. Not a negative step at all, but learning to accept Mark’s opinion is an excellent idea. “Dude!” he sighed. “Open your eyes! Jaebum likes him! A guy will never do such efforts if he doesn’t want someone to be his.” Jackson might sound funny but he’s got a point there. Nonetheless, it’s still a weak evidence.

Efforts. Wasted or worth it, efforts aren’t a good tool to measure one’s love and genuine feelings.

The conversation went so deep that they already found themselves out of the school premises. Standing near the bus stop, Mark proved his point of view. “Let me tell you a quote I read from Fei’s books. People say that friendship is like a plant. It has to be watered, cherished and loved for it to grow and become even more beautiful. I don’t see anything wrong with Jinyoung and Jaebum’s friendship.” The streets are jammed with vehicles and he wished that the rain would just pause for a while so it won’t cause a heavy evening traffic. “We were like that during our freshmen years. The three of us started our friendship while escaping the 50 push-up punishment for being late for the flag ceremony. We got close, created memories, loved each other like biological brothers and helped a dude who’s in need. Look at us now! We’re good. We’re solid. We’re gold!” Mark happily ended his impromptu speech with a line from a famous Simple Plan song. He understands where Jackson’s conclusions are coming from, but he doesn’t want to apply any color to a blank page. There’s nothing special about Jaebum and Jinyoung’s bond, and that’s good because it might make anyone jealous, sooner or later.

Jackson was left speechless. “Woah! Markiepooh is talking like a professor when he’s sick!” Mark hates it when someone calls him that name. It was a nickname given to him by one of the seniors who bullied him before. Blame his cute Winnie the Pooh handkerchief. Jackson would call him other embarrassing names; Marker, Little , and other identities which are miles far from his name proper.

But he lets Jinyoung call him Penguin? Intriguing.

They anticipated every bus stopping before them. Mark smirked, hating the fact that Jackson knows how to annoy him. “Call me that name again and I swear, I’m gonna tell Kunpimook that you jerked off last week while thinking of him.” And Jackson should hate the truth that Mark also knows how make his mouth shut. “Stop shipping me with that kid! Ugh! Just thinking about his face makes me cringe!” Jackson complained, checking his phone and reading a text from Jinyoung.

From: Nyoung The Great

5:49PM

The student government president called Jaebum. There will be no classes tomorrow due to the approaching typhoon. Go home quickly. I’ll call you later, Kunpimook trash. :P

Jackson was at the verge of breaking his IPhone 6+ in half. “Stop pestering me with all these Kunpimook stuff. I’m gonna die.” He whispered. Mark laughed, knowing that Jinyoung used their secret weapon to defeat Jackson. A bus that would stop near Mark’s house arrived. They got in and sat on the two vacant seats at the back. Mark felt a short vibration from his phone. He took it out and saw a text message.

From: Park Peachy

5:58PM  

No classes tomorrow! Take all you time to rest! Don’t forget to drink lots of water. Call me if you need something :)

Mark was unconsciously smiling all along. He’s lucky to have Jinyoung in his life.

“How’d you know that I live here?!” Jinyoung questioned Jaebum after taking a last gulp on his coffee. They agreed to walk on their way to Jinyoung’s house. The taxi drivers are taking advantage of the demand during rainy season. They knew that people would prefer them over city buses, so they double the charge. Plus, they could talk more when walking. “I’m just following you.” Jaebum answered innocently. “Oh. Right!” The other said back, knowing that he messed up on that part.

Jaebum laughed, left shoulder all wet since he’s tilting the umbrella on Jinyoung’s side and making sure that Jinyoung is dry. “I’m kidding!” he mumbled. “Well, who doesn’t know the famous Park Blooms Flower Shop? My mom buys a bouquet of carnations and tulips from your shop every weekend.” It’s because Jaebum told his mom to leave her old flower supplier and get better flowers from Jinyoung’s shop. Thanks to Jaebum for giving the Park family an extra income.

“Oh!” Jinyoung snapped. He halted from walking and looked up at Jaebum with a bright smile. Man, he’s divine. Jaebum said to himself. “The woman with a red car?! She’s your mom?” Jinyoung recognized her right away since Jaebum’s mother is the only one who buys all their carnations and tulips every Saturday. The other nodded. “Yup.” After that topic, Jinyoung began talking about his life in the shop. Jaebum listened to every spoken word as if it could save him from any trouble. In a way, he got a glimpse of Jinyoung’s life and he’s thankful that the guy beside him shared stories that were engraved in his memory. They continued walking as the rain got stronger.

“Peachy is a good nickname.” Jaebum suddenly said. He remembered how Mark addressed Jinyoung as Peachy earlier.

Jinyoung giggled and face palmed. “It’s Mark’s idea. He said my looks like a peach. I call him Penguin, and I’m the only one who’s allowed to call him names!”

Why? No one, aside from Mark, knows.

Jaebum is just about to dig in the matter when Jinyoung stopped from his tracks. 7 more blocks away from their shop, Jinyoung saw a girl, wearing a black dress, walking at the opposite side of the street and about to enter their flower shop. He looked closely, as if his eyes could adjust its zoom options. His heart could literally pop out of his chest after recognizing that disgusting face. . Minah!

“I need to go! Thanks for the coffee!” Jinyoung rapidly said goodbye and left Jaebum clueless. He must stop Minah from getting in their shop. This living disaster might ask his parents about Jenny and that would unveil the biggest secret of his present life. He made use of all his remaining energy to run in the fastest way he could. His heart raged badly; palpitations and strange sweat build up. The street is slippery and the rain didn’t waver, but its too late to give a damn about that.

Minah got in their shop first. She walked straight to the counter and saw a tall, short haired girl and a man in his mid-50s. It’s Chaeyoung and Jinyoung’s dad. “Good day! What can I do for you?” Chaeyoung greeted her politely, but Minah’s rude attitude killed the light atmosphere inside the shop. She looked around, judging the place. Arrogant and ing rude, that’s how Chaeyoung saw her. Minah looked at her with a raised brow.

“I’m looking for Je—”

“Hi there, Minah!” A loud voice startled everyone inside the shop. Jinyoung came in, gasping for air with water dripping from his wet uniform. He was close to collapsing due to the sudden adrenaline hitting his dead spots. He grabbed the girl by her wrist. “Let’s talk outside!” Shocked by Jinyoung’s entrance, Minah got no chance to protest when Jinyoung furiously pulled him out of the shop.

They stopped in front of a small convenience store nearby. “Why the hell did you dragged me out? Its raining!” the girl complained, using his hands to wipe away the water droplets in her arms. Jinyoung is still catching his breath. Nervous, he glanced at Minah and asked. “What are you doing there?”

“I’m looking for your twin.” Jinyoung’s eyes shot wide. He knew it. Jenny. He can’t imagine the damage that would happen if this evil queen dared to ask his family about Jenny. Minah might want to personally talk to Jenny. But why? ”I want to talk to her.” She added, lighting a cigarette and puffing a big grey smoke. Public Advisory; cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health. A advertisement played in Jinyoung’s mind.

“Why—I mean, about what?!” Fingers trembling in fear, Jinyoung thought of all the possible questions that Minah might still ask. Jenny is always with Mark, so he could pretty much answer every query that this parasite could think of.  Minah rolled her eyes. She hates small, cheap talks. “None of your business, Jinyoung.” She cockily replied before blowing the smoke in front of Jinyoung’s face. Aggravated by the unethical action, Jinyoung tried to keep his chill. Calm down, Nyoung. She’s gonna die from lung cancer soon so don’t try to hit her. She’s a girl. Calm down, self. At the point, he found a new mantra.

Funny how Jinyong found a gum inside his pocket, so he took it out and threw it inside his mouth. He needs to look cool now. Jenny slayed this , Jinyoung should do the same. “She’s not staying in our house.” He said as an excuse. There’s no way he would use a lame cover up for Jenny’s absence. He must say something that would stop Minah from coming back to the shop.  “Where is she living then? Inside the garbage can where she belongs?!” the girl insulted fluently.

“Jenny is staying in an apartment near her university. Sometimes, she stays at Mark’s place. Mark likes it when Jenny is there.” The changes in Minah’s facial expressions were very evident. She blinked her eyes for multiple times, bit her lips and gulped. Affected by what Jinyoung said, Minah remained silent. It was truly a huge slap on her face because Mark refused to take Minah in his dorm no matter how hard she insists. But then again, she’s just Mark’s ex-side and Jenny will always remain as his main chick. “I think Mark has this addiction of hanging around with losers like you and your twin sister. Anyway, tell Jenny that I came here. I just want to have coffee with her. Of course, I’ll be the one who’s paying since I know that she’s...” she moved closer to Jinyoung and whispered. “...not rich enough to pay for her own drink.” And she laughed.

Jinyoung had enough. Insulting Jenny is like insulting his entire family as well. I’m so sorry, Minah, but I must say that you picked the wrong person to mess up with. “I guess Mark got tired of hanging around losers, so he played with a moron.” He started and Minah gave him a stern look. “Jenny works hard to earn money, unlike some ladies who hook up with sons of huge personalities to make money. She’ll never use her body to get a sugar daddy. That’s disgusting!” Jinyoung knew that his words shook Minah’s remaining conscience. She’s obviously affected. “And lastly, Jenny doesn’t belong in a garbage can. But if you want to see her there, don’t worry, I’ll tell her to visit you there sometimes.” Jinyoung grinned and left. He ran away, heading to their shop. Jinyoung won this time.

“Who’s that girl? She looks like a wh—” Chaeyoung shouted upon seeing his brother arrive inside the shop. Jinyoung laughed, Chaeyoung rarely talks in a shameless manner but it sounds really accurate whenever she does. “Mark’s ex-girlfriend.” Jinyoung replied, removing his top and getting the towel that his sister gave him. He’s cold, blame Minah for arriving all of a sudden. Now he’s a step away from getting sick. “She’s looking for Je? Who’s Je? Don’t tell me she’s calling you ‘Jenyoung’!?” and they both laughed contagiously, so loud that even the customers inside the shop giggled.

The fun was put into an end when their father joined the conversation. “Stay away from your friend’s problems. Don’t cross any line.” He said, voice scary and strict. Chaeyong went back to attending the buyers. Jinyoung looked down. Until now, his dad continues to give him a cold shoulder. Their conflict remains unsolved. Jinyoung must keep his mouth shut, as his sister gestured him not to respond anymore. He needs to speak and explain his side. “Dad, she just asked me about Mark. I don’t think there’s something wrong –”

“Oh, yes. I should stop telling you what to do.” His father spoke, putting his eyeglasses on and ready to leave again. “You’re old enough. Why would I bother telling you the right thing to do when you will never listen to us anymore? You keep on doing the things that you want and we, your parents, can’t stop you.” He left the place with a heavy heart. Jinyoung wanted to follow his dad, but Chaeyoung held his hand and gave him a hug. Honestly, Jinyoung felt like he’s slowly tearing his own family.

After changing his garments, Jinyoung went upstairs to rest for a while. He walked pass his dad who’s watching the evening news and his mom, cooking for dinner. His room got colder tonight. He tossed his bag somewhere and flopped straight to the bed. The soft sheets wrapped around his tired limbs. He wants to sleep for a long time. The fatigue eats the left stability in his body; emotional and physical stress. Going back to the recent life-threatening event which took place earlier, Jinyoung has to come up with an important decision.

Ever since his mission as Jenny started, Jinyoung admits that massive changes thrilled his once peaceful life. First, he needs to wear girly clothes, change his voice and his manners to convince everyone around them that he is a girl. Second, these pretending stuff happens in the most unexpected time that it somehow affects his studies, his me time and even his time with his family. Third, with what happened earlier, Jinyoung is extremely terrified that his relationship with his family would turn into a total chaos. After all, blood is thicker than water. He must keep his family out of the matters that involves Minah, Mark and Jenny. Last and definitely the most crucial one, Jinyoung noticed that he’s starting to feel different. Playing the role of Mark’s girl, Jinyoung has to put himself into Jenny’s shoes every single time. Strange, but the way Mark treats him now keeps on making him feel uncomfortable. Never in the history of their friendship did Jinyoung felt dozens of butterflies in his stomach whenever Mark does something sweet. Years back, he’s not blushing and getting chills from all the hugs and light kisses. Not that Jinyoung wanted to stay away from Mark, yet he believes that quitting this game could revive the normal intimacy he has with his best friend.

He took his phone out and dialled Jackson’s number. “Hello Jacks...” he spoke, softly and carefully.

“If you’re going to ask me about Tuan, no need to worry. He’s at home now.” Jackson replied instantly. The loud sound coming from his television reached Jinyoung’s senses. “Dude, can we talk?” Asked the younger. His voice was low and Jackson knew that something isn’t right. He turned off his television. “What’s wrong, Jinyoung?” curious, Wang intrigued.

Jinyoung took a deep breath. This is going to be the second time that they will be talking about the issues of their deal. “I’m breaking my deal with Mark.” He half-heartedly said.

“Why? I thought we already talked about this?” Confused yet trying to understand his friend’s feelings, Jackson opened his ears and also his heart.

 Jinyoung lied comfortably on his bed. He reached for the remote and turned the air conditioner on, making his room ultra cold. This coldness might be enough make him numb and free him from the guilt. “Call me selfish for only thinking about myself, but this pretending thing is getting out of hand. Minah went here earlier. She’s looking for Jenny! She could’ve asked my dad and my sister if I didn’t arrive on time. One more thing, its affecting my daily routine. The pressure in school is too overwhelming already and facing another one from this mission is simply beyond toxic.” Helpless, he said.

Jackson felt the need of hugging his buddy. Compared to Mark, Jinyoung is more sensitive. He gets very emotional sometimes because of his tender nature. “I stopped you during our first conversation about this, and I hoped that everything will get better. Now that we’re down to the second time, I guess I don’t have the right to stop you from doing the thing that would make you feel better.” He suggested. Maybe, he wants Jinyoung to realize that this mission will end in time, but he can push his friend to think of the same idea. He’s not the one standing in Jinyoung’s place; he will never how bad it feels.

“But...I don’t want to let him down. Mark did everything to help me with the exchange student application. He takes good care of me when I’m Jenny, he makes sure that I’m fine and okay. I am scared about this.” Jinyoung didn’t think that this problem would make him cry—until his eyes started to water. “I don’t want to be a bad guy here, but is it wrong to wish for everything to go back to how they used to be? I’m getting uncomfortable in this set-up.” he asked Jackson. Guilt and disappointment kills him inside. Mark is probably the most thoughtful friend that he have. His final decision might break the strong bond that took 3 years to build.

“You’re still battling with the same issue, Nyoung.” Jackson backtracked their old chat. “You can’t drop the bomb because it will surely hurt Mark, or much worse, it will destroy your friendship. But let me tell you this, how far can you go for him?” Jinyoung remained silent, yet he knew that he would do anything for Mark. “If you’re really sure about giving up, tell him. I know he will understand. About the exchange student application, I think you should still do other things in return for his kindness. Jinyoung, please think about it very well. I’m not doubling your guilt here, but whatever you’re feeling right now, remember that changes are normal. If we really want to help, we should always be open for adjustments.” Jackson reminded. Their talk ended there. Jinyoung thanked Jackson for listening to his concerns. He crawled underneath the sheets and buried his face on the pillow. A short nap will help now. He must take a break from all the negative vibes.

Mark stepped in their house silently. It’s been 5 weeks since his last visit. Dorm life , bigtime. He missed every corner of this place; the living room where they play board games, the kitchen where Fei spilled her juice on Mark’s new shirt and every single nook that contains a beautiful memory. He missed his mother, even though they saw each other a week ago for the car that he borrowed. He missed Fei and her non-stop rants about his boyfriend. He missed for his father, so much. Lately, his dad rarely visits their house. He said that his work is destined in Gangnam now, and he’s extremely busy. Mark calls him whenever he’s free to tell him if they could celebrate holidays together with his mom and Fei, but his father kept on declining with those same old excuses.

Looking around the area, Mark noticed that his mom is not around. He went upstairs and went to his room. After changing his clothes, Mark went down to take some medicines. The medicine box is inside the cabinet located in his mom’s room, so he headed there and carefully scanned the items. Her cabinet has lots of garments, and important documents too. Mark never had enough enthusiasm to read these papers because he knew that he’ll never understand a portion of it. The search for the box went on. He removed a pile of papers, envelopes and letters before placing them neatly on the ground.

Accidentally, a thick folder slipped off his hands, resulting to a large mess of documents. Papers were scattered all over the floor as they got randomly arranged. Mark wanted to slam his head against the wall for his stupidity. Not wasting any minute, he bent over and picked up all the sheets. Once everything is already on his hands, Mark sat on the bed and tried to arrange them. For whatsoever reason, these documents looked so inviting that Mark gave a shot in reading them

But his eyes didn’t believe what they saw. Divorce papers, Nullification of Marriage License, Custody Agreement, Financial Support Agreement and Division of Properties. Every single sheet has his parents’ name and signature on it. Mark’s hands were shaking terribly, as well as his heart. Doubt, anger and fear masked his tough self. Questions clouded his mind, one after another. He lost his grip on the papers, and stared at the blank wall. His sight landed on a small picture frame on his mom’s night stand. It has their family picture in it. Him, Fei and their parents; happy and complete. But after what he saw, can he still hold on to the hope given by the said image? No. This can’t be!

“M-Mark!?” Her mom arrived, seeing numerous documents on the ground. Her heart raced in the worst way. “W-W-What are you doing h-here?!” she stuttered while dragging herself towards his son.

Mark faced her right away. His legs got weak, as if he would lose the capability of standing in no time. Puzzled, Mark pointed on the papers. “W-what are those, mom?!” voice shaking in fear. His mother remained silent, tears begun flowing off his eyes knowing that Mark found out the secret that they’ve been hiding for too long. “Mom! Answer me!” Mark shouted.

“You’re old enough to understand everything now, son.” She murmured. At that point, Mark realized that his greatest fear has come into life—it’s his family breaking up. His heart crushed into billion pieces, and not even a chip is left to start fixing it again. He wanted to combust, break down and cry his heart out, but his body is naturally preventing him to do so. “Why?!” that’s the only word his brain was able to generate. His mother went closer, hoping to hug his only son, but Mark moved away. “Mark, our parents arranged our marriage. We didn’t really loved each other in that way yet we tried! That’s why you and Fei are born. After several years filled with countless failed attempts of falling in love , we decided to give up, part ways and end this marriage. Believe me, your dad loves you two so much! It’s hard for us to do this, but we have to.” Pain and discomfort lied beneath her words. She can’t blame anyone, aside from herself.

Mark breathed heavily. “You mean...you never loved each other at all?” His mother shook his head. “As friends, yes, but more than that, no. We tried for God knows how much, but we kept on failing every time.” She replied with the truth because a lie will make this damned situation worse.

“So Fei and I are just the products of your trials?!” he shamelessly asked. Honestly, Mark’s mom is about to tell him the truth few weeks from now. Too bad, Mark discovered it. “Giving yourself to someone that you don’t love with all of your heart is not easy, Mark!” she shouted in between tears. “We love you so much that we sacrificed a lot just to give you and Fei the life that you deserve.” He stared at his mother and watched her sob. “Don’t tell me Fei knows about this already...”

His mom nodded, crying harder afterwards. “You’re only 8 when we decided to part ways. Fei is 15 that time, she knew everything all along. We kept it from you because we’re afraid that you will not understand.” She answered. Mark closed his eyes, he somehow wondered why he’s not crying. Anger ruled in him. “So everyone’s fooling me since then?! How could you do that to me? Am I not a part of his family? If you care about my feelings, you should’ve said it earlier!” he looked so pitiful after realizing that he’s been holding on to the biggest lie in his life.

“Mark, please und—” her mom reached out. She can’t let his son feel this bad. Just before she could go near Mark, the boy ran out of the room. He ran away, as fast as we could. Pain was written all over his body and he wanted to go far away to forget this heart-breaking truth. He wished that he could open up his heart and understand, but for now, he needs sometime alone. Ignoring the terrifying weather, Mark ran farther with no exact destination.

Jinyoung and his family finished eating their dinner at 8:30PM. After some chores both in the house and in the shop, Jinyoung went for a shower and headed inside his room to sleep. As expected, the rain got stronger and heavier than before. He looked at the window to watch the rain fall down. It helped to ease the uneasiness in his chest. Undecided, Jinyoung finally thought of talking to Mark. He could help him come up with a decision. He nervously picked his phone and was about to dial Mark’s number but a call sent him to panic stage. “Hello, Mrs. Tuan?”

“Jinyoung...” she spoke in a shaky voice. “Are you with Mark right now?”

“No, Mrs Tuan. I’m currently at home.” He politely replied. . What’s happening?

“Do you know where he is? He left the house this afternoon and he’s not yet coming back.” Where the hell are you, Tuan?! You’re sick and you need to rest! Worried, Jinyoung stepped out of his comfort zone. Being bothered at this time of the night is not a good thing but there’s this serious stuff going on. “Can you help me look for him?” the anxious mother requested.

Mark’s mom didn’t have to ask, Jinyoung will look for him no matter what. “Sure! I’ll call you right away when I find him.”

It was 11PM, streets abandoned and rain pouring like a waterfall. Jinyoung sneaked out of their house with only an umbrella and his phone on hand. He’s in his bear-patterned pajamas because there’s no left time to change. His parents are already asleep, Chaeyoung must be talking to her best friend on the phone. Carefully, he walked through the silent streets. Most of the establishments are now closed, so he wondered where Mark is staying. The thing is, he doesn’t know where to start. Seoul is a huge, busy city—will he find his best friend?

He looked for a cab, but not even a single one crossed the road. His legs are shaking; both from the cold air and nervousness. What if something happened to Mark? He will not leave their house like that if nothing’s wrong. Jinyoung headed to the park where Mark used to practice skateboarding. On his way, he kept on calling his friend, but it seems that Mark’s phone is turned off. Ugh! Stop being stubborn, Tuan! He reached the place and was rewarded with nothing. No one is there. Who would stay in the park at this time though?

Next stop, the bar near their university. Mark doesn’t drink outdoor, but there’s no harm in trying. Jinyoung lost all his patience in waiting for a bus so he ran towards the place. It was approximately 4 kilometres, yet he didn’t feel tired. He knew that he could run a couple of miles more just to see his pal. Sadly, the club is now closed. Left with no choice, Jinyoung roamed the city by foot. He observed every place and every person that he saw.

12:28 AM. The shivering sensation killed the fire that once burned in his heart. All hopes are now lost. Mark is missing and he wasn’t able to find him. He called Jackson to ask for help, and the man said that he’ll do his best to find Mark. The intense distress in Jinyoung’s head is sufficient to make him numb. He went back home like a athlete who lost in a championship game. Few steps away from their shop, Jinyoung saw a man sitting on the curb—wet and hugging his knees. He took more steps closer to see a clearer view of the familiar body. Is that...

“M-Mark...”

Jinyoung rushed towards him as if a huge weight is lifted off his chest. Mark heard his voice and he stood up. Just like in the movies, Jinyoung lets go of the umbrella and pulled Mark into the tightest hug that he ever did so far. He was like clutching to the only thing that keeps him alive. Mark reciprocated the act, wrapping his arm around the younger’s slim waist and nuzzling on his neck. “Where the hell have you been?! I almost flipped the entire city just to find you!” Jinyoung said in relief. If Mark stays silent without valid reason, how much more if there’s a gigantic problem creeping inside him? “Let’s get inside!” Jinyoung said, pulling him inside the shop.

He asked Mark to stay there for a while. Jinyoung swiftly went to his room to fetch some dry clothes and a clean towel. Heading back down, he instructed Mark to change his clothes first before they go up. “Have you eaten?” Jinyoung questioned, watching his friend remove his damp clothes. Mark weakly shook his head. “I will call your mom so she could—”

“No. Please.” Mark begged in a tormented voice. “I don’t want to go home.”

Jinyoung nodded. “Okay, I won’t tell her to pick you up, but she has to know that you’re here. She’s about to lose her mind because of worrying about you!” He took his phone out and called Mark’s mother to tell her the good news. Later, they went upstairs. Jinyoung realized that Mark should take a warm bath to control the regulation of coldness of his body. Still not speaking too much, Mark followed his orders and went to the bathroom. Striping for the second time, Mark immediately sat inside the small white tub as Jinyoung filled it with warm water. They’ve seen each other’s bodies before; no need to feel embarrassed.

 As Mark immersed himself in the hot water, his limbs felt relaxed. Jinyoung sat on the edge of the tub and smiled. “What happened?” he asked, Mark stayed silent as his sight was fixed on the water. “You don’t have to tell me if you feel unfordable, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” Jinyoung reminded before standing. He was close to leaving the bathroom when Mark called for his name.”Nyoung...” Jinyoung turned around. “Can you stay here for a while?”

Jinyoung stayed there as Mark requested. He didn’t even try looking at bare Mark’s body because he respects his friend, and what’s the use of seeing him in his birthday suit? They’re both guys and they have the same body parts anyway. He looked at Mark’s eyes instead; how the usual spark left his mesmerizing eyes. His face—the face that could illuminate the darkest nights—is not shrouded with sorrow and ache. “Mom and dad are no longer together...” Mark whispered, he was drawing random lines on the water like a kid.

“Since when?” Shocked, Jinyoung replied. “When I was 8. Mom said that their marriage is only arranged by my grandparents. They loved each other as friends through the years.” Mark said as he painfully recalled her mother’s words. “Fei knows about this. They kept everything from me. You know, I feel like the entire world played a miserable joke on me. I don’t know how to handle this kind of pain.” He weakly admitted. He never imagined that this will happen, and now that it did, he’s not sure if he could recover. Jinyoung’s heart broke for Mark’s situation. Mark’s family never looked like how Mark described it now. They’re always happy. “But...you told me that your parents are still seeing each other.”

“They remained friends for the sake their children.” He answered. “I...I don’t know anymore.”

Not wanting to open up the wound and make it bleed again, Jinyoung chose to close the conversation. He must gave Mark some space to think about what happened. Of course, everything is still fresh in his mind, the pain is still there and its impossible to leave all his questions unattended.

After the short bath, Jinyoung went to the kitchen and reheated their left over dinner; ox tail soup and stir-fried vegetables. Mark sat on a chair, blankly looking at the wall and absentmindedly tapping his fingers against the wooded table. Jinyoung turned the stove on and started cooking. “Jinyoungie, I deserve to be happy, right?” he asked.

“Everyone deserves to be happy, Mark.” Jinyoung took two bowls and transferred the food on their respective containers. He gazed at Mark and saw how lifeless he is. His face got no expressions, probably because there are just too many emotions mixing inside him that not even a single one could be displayed. He needs to release the frustration, the pain and the doubts. “Mark...” Jinyoung focused back on their food. “It’s okay to cry.” He noticed at Mark didn’t shed a tear. His eyes aren’t red and puffy. Signs that he’s holding everything in.

A long sickening silence, then Jinyoung heard a couple of sniffs. He’s crying. Jinyoung smiled to himself. Just when he’s about to put the plates on the table, Mark stood behind him and rested his forehead on top of Jinyoung’s shoulder. He cried his heart out. This may not numb the pain, but it will decrease. His tears landed on Jinyoung’s shirt, making it damp in an instant. “It’s okay, Mark. It’s okay.” Jinyoung mumbled.

His friend sobbed for a couple of minutes. He went back on his chair afterwards. “You need to eat so you can take your medicine. You’re body temperature is still high.” Jinyoung ordered. The dishes are now in front of Mark. “I’m not hungry.” He replied, softly. Jinyoung rolled his eyes. Well, sadness could kill your appetite but he needs something to fill his grumbling stomach. “Few bites will do. Mark, you need to eat. Please?” And he flashed his signature puppy eyes that no one could ever resist. Miraculously, Mark gave in. Yeah! It worked! Jinyoung stayed there to look after Mark. They washed the used plates after and went to bed.

Jinyoung’s bed is big for himself, so he told Mark to sleep beside him. Who would let a grieving friend sleep on the floor? 2:05AM. Mark lied on the left side of he bed. “Everyone that I love is leaving me.” Mark spoke with much hatred. Jinyoung was caught off-guard. Mark must be pertaining to Minah and his Dad. He sighed. “Stupid. Your family will never leave you. Us, your friends, we will always be here too.” There must be a final answer now regarding Jinyoung’s mission. Based on how wicked these past events turned out, it seems like leaving Mark alone is not a good action. Now that he’s suffering too much, Jinyoung must continue to help him and that’s through Jenny. He can’t add another disappointment. So for the record; No, Jinyoung will not quit from being Jenny.

Mark sighed deeply. “Why do people have to let go?” he asked, tears pooling on his eyelids and clouding his sight. Jinyoung lied in a better position, placed his both hands behind his head and looked at the ceiling.

“Sometimes, holding on is more painful than letting go.” He beamed. “Your parents set each other free because they know what’s best for them. Love is a widely misunderstood feeling. People say that love means staying, caring, sharing and giving. Letting someone find the happiness that they deserve although it might hurt you is also love. Mark, your parents love you so much. They sacrificed a lot for you and Fei. They never asked anything from you through these years. They showered you with love and understanding. I guess its about time for you to understand and support their decisions.  They just want to be happy. You too, you have to be happy for them.” Jinyoung’s words were too powerful that it slowly changed Mark’s point of view. It makes sense.

“Don’t expect me to accept everything in a speed of light.” He responded seriously. Jinyoung smiled and held Mark’s hand. At least, he’s willing to change. “Of course, Mark. It takes time.” He replied. “Okay! Time to wrap this day up! I’m very tired!” Jinyoung turned the lamp off and pulled the sheets over their bodies. The calming sound of the rain drags them to slumber. “Uhmmm...Jinyoung...” Mark called, patting his friend’s shoulder.

Opening his eyes, Jinyoung gazed at him. “Yeah?”

Mark shyly scratched his neck. “Do you have an extra pillow? You know that I can’t sleep without hugging one.” And that statement made Jinyoung laugh out loud. Mark has this habit of hugging a pillow when sleeping and as what he said, he can’t sleep if he’s not hugging anything. Jinyoung looked around. “Sorry buddy, no more pillows for you.” He replied. “Oh, here.” He took the pillow behind his head. He must put Mark’s needs above his now. But damn, sleeping without any pillow .

“No! It’s yours!” Mark refused to take it. He held the pillow, hovered over Jinyoung and placed it underneath his head. Jinyoung’s heartbeat skipped a beat. Mark is on top of him, 4 inches away; so close that he could feel his best friend’s breath on his skin. Even the in the dark, Mark’s face remained so radiant. “I think its time to change my weird sleeping habits too.” Mark added, loving the moment. This is the first time that he got this close to Jinyoung...in bed. Peachy, why’d you have to be so pretty?!

In cases like this, one must change position to ease the awkwardness, but mind you, no one moved. It was like they’re two magnets attracted to each other, creating a powerful tension between them and just anticipating their much awaited collision. A loud thunder roared all of a sudden, making Jinyoung jolt in shock. “Holy macaroni!” he shouted, hiding under the sheets. Go away, thunder! You ruined the scene!

It’s Mark’s turn to laugh. After all the downfalls for today, he found a tiny reason to be happy. “Park Jenny is afraid of thunders?!” he playfully teased. Jinyoung went out of the blanket and slapped Mark’s arm. “Shut up and go to sleep!” Ashamed, Jinyoung blushed. He wondered if this raging heartbeat is caused by the stupid thunder or his close encounter with Mark. No, Jinyoung. It’s the thunder. He said to himself.

They settled beside each other. Jinyoung is ready to drift off but his annoying friend is up to something. ”Peachy...” he said, moving closer to Jinyoung. “What do you want?!” the other replied. Mark pulled the blanket off his face and smiled. “You are afraid of thunder, right?” Jinyoung yawned and nodded. “And I can’t sleep without hugging a pillow.” He added. 

“Then?”

Mark pulled Jinyoung near him and wrapped his arms around him. “Can I hug you instead?” he asked with a cheeky smile. Jinyoung rolled his eyes and relaxed on the other’s body. Mark is warm; his arms are soft and cuddly. “How can I say no when you’re already hugging me?” he replied. Mark laughed, hugging Jinyoung from his back and nuzzling on his hair. Chills spread all over Jinyoung’s body. “I want all of my pillows to be like you.” Mark mumbled. “I want to hug you every night.”

“Whatever, Tuan. I’m going to sleep.” Thank God, Jinyoung is not facing Mark. No one could see his flustered face.

The comfort that Mark is feeling right now is better than nothing. He cant say that he’s completely okay, but the pain got lighter now. Jinyoung is truly a blessing. “Good night, Jinyoung!”

It is indeed a good night for the both of them.