word count:1438

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December 12, 2015

"March next year seems like a good time to dig my grave."

"You're digging your own grave?" Soonyoung asked, bemused.

"Literally, yes."

"I'm starting to think that you're crazy, who even allowed you to dig in a cemetery?"

"The owner, the guard the staff. I'm dying at least let me dig my own grave if I want to."

"I'm not stopping you. I just think you're, " Soonyoung stopped, measuring his words. " a little bit insane."

He was going to say Sick-in-the-head but Jihoon might kill him.

They we're at Jihoon's home, Soonyoung drinking coffee and for Jihoon, tea. He stood up looking at the window to the street, he saw someone approaching, tall and raven-haired. The man was carrying a box with a seal of the bakery just few block away. It wasn't sunny outside, and the rain just stopped a few minutes ago so the street was damp, puddles formed everywhere.

"Someone's coming."  

"That's probably Seungcheol."

"Seungcheol?" Soonyoung said inching away from the window and facing Jihoon.

They we're at the first floor of Jihoons two story house.

"Choi Seungcheol, my boyfriend." Jihoon said sipping tea, focused on his phone, waiting for the door-bell so that Soonyoung could answer the door without creeping Seungcheol out.

When the door-bell did ring Soonyoung ran to the door like the -head he is and opening the dark-wood door.

"Hi." Soonyoung said shaking Seungcheol's hand.

"Hello, I'm Seungcheol, Jihoon's boyfriend."

"So i've heard." Soonyoung said, making way for the boy, his cup of coffee still on his hand.

Seungcheol made a bee-line to Jihoon kissing the top of the boy's head when he stood behind him.

"Here." placing the cake on Jihoon's table and proceeding to get three plates for them to share the pastry.

"So," Soonyoung voiced slowly "How long have you two been dating?"

The two looked at him stopping from what they were doing.

"almost two weeks, i guess?" Seungcheol answered, saving Jihoon the trouble.

"Good to know." Soonyoung said going back to his coffee waiting for Seungcheol to comeback with plates and fork.

December 25, 2015

Jihoon knows that he'll never get to marry Seungcheol, that was reality. Jihoon didn't give much fuss about marriage anyway. Marriage is also just a concept, Seungcheol treats him like they're married anyway.

Jihoon ordered him and Seungcheol rings, he didn't keep it as a secret, Seungcheol was aware that Jihoon bought them rings. The time the rings got delivered, the two weren't at home. They we're at a hospital.

Yesterday, The smaller was at home, alone. He was trying to make his house look presentable for Christmas because his mom and dad might drop by before going home from their Company's Christmas Party. Although knowing his own situation, Jihoon didn't text or call anyone to help him clean. He was replacing his curtains when his chest tightened, at first he though it was just some mild attack and he just needed his inhaler. He felt his pockets for it but just remembered that he placed it in the bed-side table before he slept.

Jihoon held on the walls for support, he breathing was turning rough and his lungs felt like it's being drained of oxygen. He closed his eyes, now leaning his back on the walls.

Little by little Jihoon's vision turned black and his legs gave in, he landed on the wooden floor, limp and unmoving.

That afternoon, Soonyoung planned on going to Jihoon's because tomorrow he'll be going to his relatives. The third time Jihoon didn't answer the door, the boy knew something was wrong, he reached for the emergency key on the pots and opened the door. There he saw Jihoon who was still on the floor. The poor boy passed out and Soonyoung hailed a taxi to the hospital.

He texted Seungcheol that night and also Jihoon's parents. Jihoon's mom and dad went to the hospital almost half an hour then, but Seungcheol was nowhere. The last train that Soonyoung has to catch will be leaving i a few minutes, The boy trusting the doctors to not kill his best friend, left the hospital.

Seungcheol went to the hospital 5 am in the morning, he was still wearing his clothes from last night and Jihoon was awake on his bed, as always, playing with his phone as if not a thing happened.

And now to the present. Jihoon had visitors every hour, and most of his friends, Seungcheol was inroduced just then. The first visitors were three men, one of them was a tall guy, far taller than Seungcheol, the other had a round face and the third has an American feature. Mingyu, Seungkwan and Hansol, the smaller said.

When night came, Jihoon ate some hospital mushroom soup and Chinese food which Seungcheol kindly bought for the two of them.

"Come here." Jihoon said tapping the bed he was on.

"You should be sleeping right now." The raven said from the couch which seemed to be miles away from Jihoon.

"I can't sleep here if you're not beside me." Jihoon said, almost pleading but definitely whining. Seungcheol obliged the second time. He lifted the blankets a little and going under it. Jihoon moved a little to make some space.

"Sleep now." Seungcheol said ,Jihoon locked in his hug. Jihoon still hasn't closed his eyes, His head was rested on Seungcheol's chest, and he was looking up at him as if sketching the taller's face in his mind. Seungcheol looked at Jihoon to check if he's asleep, and now he was looking at Jihoon looking at him.

"Jihoon." He said, then smiled, giving the smaller a kiss on the forehead. "I love you."

Jihoon looked at him, still. "I love you too." then smiled moving up a little bit to kiss the other on the lips.

"Thank you for loving me, even though I'm dying." Jihoon laughed.

"I love you." Seungcheol said again, holding Jihoon tighter.

March 13, 2016

It was spring then, the spring season was ideal for someone like Jihoon. He wasn't allergic to anything so the season doesn't bother him much.

He's sitting on a black and white lounger chair by his balcony, looking at the cloudy sky, waiting for Seungcheol. Since Christmas, Seungcheol slept at Jihoon's place. Every Sunday Seungcheol would go home to get clothes and then go back to Jihoon's.

Seungcheol bought a town bike for himself, so that Jihoon can sit at the back and Seungcheol would just ride around. They can go to picnics without having Jihoon to walk.

'You're really thoughtful' Jihoon told him and he said 'I'm not thoughtful, I just really love you.'

He already misses him, of all times to be love-sick, Jihoon picked the times that he's dying.

"Jihoon." Seungcheol called from behind, Jihoon was so deep in his thought that he didn't notice Seungcheol. "Jihoon."

The said boy looked behind him from his chair, standing up to walk to Seungcheol.

His condition was worse now. He can't even go up and down the stairs without hyperventilating afterwards.

"Seungcheol." He called looking up at the latter. "Now that you're here, somehow I want to live longer."

Seungcheol could only look at Jihoon with sadness evident in his eyes, He wants Jihoon to live longer too.

Jihoon knows he's asking for a miracle, but he wants to be able to run miles without blacking out, he wants to live 10 more years, he wants to see Soonyoung get married, He wants to grow a garden.

He doesn't want to leave Seungcheol.

He doesn't want to leave.

He doesn't want to die.

He want Seungcheol's eyes to be filled with happiness.

"I don't want to die yet, Seungcheol." Jihoon looks at Seungcheol. Seungcheol cups his face then peppers it with kisses, soon Jihoon's eyes were shining, tears rolling down his flushing cheeks, his nose was turning red but he wasn't making a sound because Seungcheol was still kissing him, his forehead, his cheeks, the tip of his nose, on his neck his ears then his lips, Seungcheol hugs him then and he hugs back still crying.

Without having to look at the taller's face he knows Seungcheol's crying.

He wants to live for ten more years, but that would be like asking if he could buy the whole Korea. He doesn't exactly know when he'll die. It could be a year from now, maybe he won't last till Christmas. He just know that his time is running short and he can't do anything about it.

He holds on to Seungcheol tightly and he doesn't let go nor did Seungcheol.   

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Ok  new chapter up, I almost teared up on the last part but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯