word count: 1284

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May 20, 2016

Jihoon obviously wasn't getting any better. He was feeling worse if anything. He's on bed with Seungcheol, Seungcheol's asleep, Jihoon just woke up.

He doesn't know if he looks totally creepy right now because he just looking at Seungcheol, fingers tracing the jaw line of the older, his skin was paler compared to Seungcheol's, he was born pale and his COPD made him paler just a little bit more.

his palm rests on Seungcheol's cheek, tuning his head a little bit, Seungcheol was a deep sleeper, and Jihoon loves that. He hoisted himself to rest his weight on an elbow now looking at his significant other with ease.

Seungcheol's one of those people that makes you smile subconsciously, that's what Jihoon's going through right now, he finds himself smiling at the boy. He kisses the side of the other's face, Then he lies back down on his back, Seungcheol's arm making a pillow for Jihoon's head. Seungcheol shifted, now his whole body was facing Jihoon, his one arm under Jihoon's head the other, hooked over Jihoon's waist, slowly his eyes opened.

"Morning ,babe, it's nice seeing your face first day in the morning." The older said, in a deeper raspier voice than usual.

"Morning." Jihoon smiled cupping Seungcheol's cheeks then kissing him on the lips. "Aren't we too sappy?" The smaller laughed.

"Nothing's too sappy if it's you." Seungcheol said tuning them over so that he's on top of the younger. "You're so pretty, Jihoon."

Jihoon just looks at him, He leans closer to the boy beneath him, making a path of kisses from his neck up to the other's forehead, ending in the lips. Jihoon's lips moved in sync with the older's, molding into each other, Jihoon's breath began to hitch, pushing back for him to breathe. Just as little as kissing, his lungs just give out.

The older looks at him now, with concern. When Jihoon got his breath back he spoke

"You literally took my breath away, Seungcheol."

"Sorry." Seungcheol said, still studying the hazel-headed boy's expression.

"It was a joke, babe." Jihoon said hooking both his arms on the other's neck. "I'm sorry that you have a boyfriend who hyperventilates after kissing. What more if we-" Jihoon stalked letting seconds pass.

"If we?" Seungcheol said poking at Jihoon's unfinished sentence.

"If we, you know, have , I might really die, for sure." Jihoon said again.

"Do I look like someone who lives for ?"

"Yes, you're body at least, look at that, damn." Jihoon said looking at the topless-Seungcheol's abs.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Seungcheol said pressing a kiss on the other's lips.

"Also i was thinking, maybe when I die, Instead of burying myself, maybe you should get me cremated instead." Jihoon said, looking into the brown eyes of his boyfriend. "I mean, the hole i was digging got about 4 feet high but, I'm in no condidtion to dig now, and never will be."

"Do you want that?" Seungcheol said, seriously. Seungcheol always gets serious when it's this matter they're talking about.

"Yes, I'd appreciate it if you don't let worms eat me." Jihoon laughed but only to be stopped by Seungcheol's kiss.

July 6, 2016

When Jihoon was young, he really wanted to sit on a wheel chair, but now, now that he has to sit on it, he just wants to burn it, He can still walk, maybe about ten steps and that's it. Jihoon told Seungcheol his dream to have a garden and that's why Seungcheol's at the back yard covered in dirt. Only about 60% is done but to Jihoon it was already so pretty. Most of the garden was occupied by Orchids, different kinds, Barbara Bells, Diamond Crowns, Hermines, Portias, and his favorite, Little Angels, that kind was pure White, Seungcheol told him it reminds it of Jihoon, but it was funny because it reminds Jihoon of Seungcheol.

He pusses his wheels to the garden, opening the white-wood framed glass door.

"Hey." Jihoon said gaining Seungcheol's attention.

"Hello" Seungcheol said standing up and taking control of the wheel chair, stopping Jihoon beside where he was working. He was currently planting tomato seeds."We can have lunch after I finish this, okay?"

"Okay." Jihoon said, Seungcheol was wearing a fit tank top, sticking to his back.

"Are tomatoes easy to grow?"

"If you water it every day, yes." Seungcheol said poking tiny holes around one seed. "There, done."

"This garden will look pretty when it's done." The smaller said looking around the place.

"Not as pretty as you." Seungcheol said now standing up facing Jihoon.

"I'm dying though."

"Dying flowers are pretty too." Seungcheol countered. Not once did Seungcheol fail on making Jihoon feel like the prettiest human being in the world.

"Somehow, I don't know what to say."

Then, Seungcheol kissed him holding Jihoon close.

"Let's get lunch." Seungcheol said.

"Good, I'm starving." Jihoon said, for a dying person Jihoon has some appetite.

Seungcheol laid their food in the table, making sure that Jihoon ate lots, and on the other side, Jihoon was busy stuffing his face with Seungcheol's homemade meal that he somehow didn't notice the growing pain on the left side of his lungs, he placed his spoon down hastily, his hand now holding on to his side, hoping the pain would pass, but it only got worse, soon he's having trouble breathing, tears forming on his eyes, the pain was too unbearable he had to rest his head down the table, hand still grasping the aching side.

Seungcheol, who has stood up the moment Jihoon's spoon collided with the table was panicking, reaching for his phone and car keys.

Jihoon was still struggling when his hands went numb and his eyes closed.

The smaller had passed out from the pain and from his lack of oxygen, beads of sweat were already on his forehead.

Seungcheol carried the smaller in his arms, Jihoon's head rested on the older man's shoulder, safely in both Seungcheol's arms, before Seungcheol went to the car he slung two jackets on his other shoulder. He opened his car door putting Jihoon on the passenger seat and taking a seat on the driver's.

He drove to the hospital repeating "please." like a mantra.

July 8, 2016

Jihoon was asleep for a day, and Seungcheol chose to stay at the hospital like a dog guarding a house. He was getting paranoid, it was too early, a year is too early. He doesn't want Jihoon to go, he never will.

Seungcheol's last meal was the one they had at home and he chose not to eat unless Jihoon eats with him.

When Jihoon began to stir, Seungcheol had his eyes wide open, not waiting for the patient to open his eyes , he called Jihoon

"Jihoon?"

It took a while and a few more calls from Seungcheol for Jihoon to respond.

"Cheol?" Jihoon said raising a hand to reach for the other's face. "Seungcheol?"

"Jihoon." Seung cheol said, scooping the other in his arms careful not to squeeze too hard but Jihoon on the other hand was hugging Seungcheol so hard as if to prove that Seungcheol's there.

"I'm sorry for worrying you." Jihoon said now looking at Seungcheol, it doesn;t take a genius to see that Seungcheol barely slept. Seungcheol called Jihoon's doctor soon after and got Jihoon checked if he was okay to leave then.

"I suggest that you be extra careful." The doctor said.

Jihoon gratefully wore the jacket Seungcheol bought with him.

And on the way he wonders if the thing he ordered online for Seungcheol's birthday arrived already, he addressed it to Soonyoung's place so that Seungcheol wouldn't see it.

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let me know if i should make jihoon last till seungcheol birthday (August 8, Me n Seungcheol share the same birthdays) hhahaha

also tell me if its getting boring, so know when to drop bombs, lmao

hope no one minds that i don't preoof read these.

i m also watching running man im at ep,100