TAEHYUNG

A/N: lines in italics are from BTS' I NEED U.

Even the kindest, lovliest people will lie to you. I know he's not "calm." And yet I can't do anything. The last time I called the police on him, she denied everything. I spied on them, fuming as I saw her explain away all the accusations. They invited the officers for tea and saw them out. Being as cunning as he was, he kept himself civil.

"Did you call them?"

"N-no."

"Who was it then? One of your friends? Who the would call the police on me, huh?"

"No! I swear I haven't told anyone."

"Don't raise your voice. Are you trying to get yourself caught?" He grabs her by the wrist and sneers at her. If his back had been turned and she wasn't closing her eyes in pain, they would've looked like two lovers embracing. "I'm going out so don't wait up." He slammed the door and left her crying. I couldn't take it anymore, so I knocked on the window when I was sure he was gone.

I gave my mom kisses and pet her hair, whispering comforting words and shushing her. I hugged her until she bled her tears dry. I wiped them away and made her tea with honey. I drew her a warm bath and made sure she went to bed with the covers drawn tight about her. I kissed her forehead before I turned out the lights and made sure the doors were locked. I did these things when it should've been the guy who caused her pain in the first place. All those years, thinking it was something I wasn't doing right when the real problem had been him all along. My mom was nothing but wonderful and I worked my hardest to be a good son. It was never enough.

I read her letter over and over again. If things went my way, you'd send yourself instead of pieces of paper. It has been little over a month since that day. I miss her, I guess I could pay her a quick visit. I smile as I think about my sweet mom. She should be in the living room now, singing and cleaning like a real life Cinderella. As I near the house, all fairytales leave me. A thud and cries are all I hear before I pick up my feet to rush inside.

I'm ruined because of you.
I want to stop now...
I can't do it...
You can't be like this to me.
Everything you said doesn't make sense...
I'm going crazy...
Take it all away, I hate you...
I need you...

"Please, please. I'll stay, please stop. I'm sorry."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut the up! Just shut up! Did I tell you to speak?!" I follow the sounds of my mom's begging and his shouts. I can only guess where the bangs and the thuds are coming from. She's saying anything she can think of to make him stop. I hope to God he listens. For her, I hope he stops. But a small part of me hopes he doesn't, hopes he keeps going. So he can give me a reason. So I can do what I want for once.

I make it to their room and see that the door hasn't been closed all the way. I can see everything. There's liquor everywhere. He's still in his work clothes. His tie's missing, shirt ruffled and a few buttons undone. This guy is not my father and I hate him. Right now, he's just shouting at her, calling her horrible things. For a moment, I'm twelve again and I cannot face him.

"You're worthless, you hear me? Worthless! Where can you go, huh? Who wants you? Even Taehyung left!"

Before he can take another swing at her, I grab a bottle and an eerie wave of calm comes over me. I shove him and hit him where he would've hit my mom just now. He craddles his eye and looks at me, betrayed. How ing dare he? Even now, he's making me feel guilty. After telling the woman he married that no one wants her, he has the nerve to look at me like that.

I want to turn around and make sure she's okay, but if I do I'd probably cry. I can't do that, not in front of him. The look on his face almost makes me think twice about what I've done, his eyes flick back to my mom and it all becomes clear. He can't hate her like this, I won't let him.

Tightenting my grip on the neck of the bottle, I charge toward him aiming for his face again. He dodges and it breaks against the window. Pieces of glass fly against me, but it doesn't lessen my resolve. I'm angry I missed. I grab him by the collar and hold him against the window. I put all my weight on him so he can't move. Taking a deep breath, I drive the jagged edge deep into his stomach.

Mianhae (I hate you.)

Take it out.

Saranghae (I hate you.)

Do it again.

Yeongseohae.

And again. And again.

Shaky fingers pull at my hoodie and I drop the bottle, staring at my father's lifeless body, slumped against the wall. Once was one too many, but I kept going at it. My mom's crying against my shoulder and all I can do is gasp at what I've done. I try to put all my heart into apologising to him. I'm sorry. I can't stop staring. She tries to turn me around but I can't, he's like that because of me. She holds my chin and forces me to look at her.

"M-mommy, mommy. I'm so sorry, why are you here? I'm sorry."

"Ssh, don't. I forgive you, baby ssh. Came to save your mom just in time, didn't you?"

She makes me cry harder. She should be scared of me. Angry that I murdered her husband. She pats my head and holds me. I know I should pull away but it's been so long since she's held me like this. It took me killing my father for my mom to hold me in her arms. He lies there cold and I'm taking comfort in my mom's hug. What am I?

"I know you're scared. I know you're sorry. I know, honey please believe me. But you have to go, okay?" I whine a mantra of mommys, I don't want to. "Hey, please stop. Your crying will make me sad." She waits until I nod. "Look at me, you'll have to go and not come back for a while, okay? I will take care of everything." My voice cracks.

"Mom, no." She shakes her head, I know what she's thinking and her mind's made up.

"He's right, this is my fault-"

"Mom, no!"

"And I've let this go on for too long. I didn't protect you well enough. Okay, no you listen to me and leave. Take care of yourself because I can't anymore, Taehyung. It's us who should be sorry, because we're going to leave you. Baby, I'm so sorry." She takes my hands into hers and rubs her thumbs over them. She lifts me up and guides me to the back door. Far off,

I can hear sirens.

"Be a good boy and do what I tell you."

The sirens are getting louder.

"Run."

END OF I NEED U