JUNG

The more I hang out with Jin, the more I kind of don't want to help him find his way. At first I thought my attachment to him was just apart of the thoughts I had adopted from Jungkook. I'd be lying if I said that. I've been here for years now; separating myself from other beings comes as second nature to me. I even like his friends and I have never cared much for the loved ones of the people I had been obliged to help. I was good at trying to keep them at arms length, until now.

Jimin doesn't seem to take to me, though. He knows something's up and that worries me because he shouldn't. He knows - the living him, not the version that Jin conjured. Why? Heck if I know. Out of all of them, apart from Jungkook, he appears to have it together the most. His problems appear to be nothing much to theirs. He appears to be fine.

His one problem is what leads a lot of human beings to suicide. He feels too much. Feels too guilty, feels too sad. He feels so much love to the point of pain. But because he doesn't have much else to worry about, most would assume that the guy is perfectly fine.

I follow Yoongi back toward the truck. When he wakes Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok up, I keep my distance. He's another funny one. He acts like he doesn't give a flying about anyone and yet, he's almost as much of a mother as Jin is. He just covers it up with indiferrence and disdain. Yah! Idiot, when you eat a hotdog hold it like this so you don't splatter sauce all over your stupid self. Quit embarasing me you piece of . How amusing.

And that Taehyung - well he's just strange fullstop. I walked past him once, to find him talking to a sparrow. He asked it where its' parents were, nuzzling it with his fingers. Upon hearing a response I couldn't, he told it to not worry. I'll be you mom and dad, he said. He made different voices for each parent. I thought it was kinda cute until things became dark and the dad began to scream at the sparrow. When the bird took flight, the mom cried and told it to go faster. He caught me watching and broke a big smile, asking what should've been done.

Dusk is about to break and Jin calls the rest of us over to sit by the edge of the pier. And again, with the ing camera. He finds the weirdest things to film, besides us boys of course. Birds, flowers - I have no idea why you'd want to film something that doesn't move - and the sun rising and setting. He must've forgotten his grudge because he shoves the camera in my face, laughing.

I can't deal so I get up to shove myself in between Namjoon and Yoongi. Namjoon ruffles my hair, "wah, tantrums for are toddlers." Jin keeps watching me, smile gone. It's like he's trying to decide something. I lock eyes with him, daring him to. We never get the chance as the the guys begin to holler. I look up and Taehyung is beginning to climb this big structure to the side of us. Jin turns around and lifts his camera up.

FROM A GOD'S POINT OF VIEW

Seven boys sit along the edge. They've been having far too much fun. The time for consequences has been long overdue. At least two among them should know that. A hushed wind is cast and the weakest of them caves.

Against his will, his limbs pull themselves up. When he realizes what is to come, he accepts it openly. In the pit of his stomach he feels he deserves it. Higher, go higher. From below the rest are pleading for him to come down.

When he reaches the top, his choices become his again. The wind is gone and he can heed the calls of his friends if he wants to. Come down. But in which way? The boy looks down as his friends continue to holler. He is torn.

The boys have the tipped things in their favour and the odds are uneven. The wind returns, but faintly, only to tug and pull at his hair and clothes. Just a slight reminder. The boy looks at them one last time before deciding.

The wind dissapears completely as his feet leave the platform. Their cries have died in their throats and for a moment, they all gape at the arc of the boys' drop.  Two of them are the first to jump after their friend; the curous filmmaker and another who almost choked on his lollipop at the sight.

What they are trying to outrun is futile, they will fall regardless.

My darling Son,

How are you? I know I always ask that, but things could always change. I wish I knew where you stayed. It must be close, if you can pick up my letters and return your own. I wish I could see you or hear your voice, but my only way to you is through our mailbox. I'll take anything I can get I guess. You're still doing very well in school, I'm glad. But tell me, what is it you're doing that is affecting your attendance so much for your school to send urgent letters? Do you have a girlfriend? Is she pretty? Please tell me it's not a girlfriend, it would just be another face I that I'll have to miss. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. So long as you don't stop writing. Have mercy on your nosy mother, she cannot help her meddling ways! And talk about yourself more when you write next. I want as much of my little boy as I can get. You know, if things went my way, you'd send yourself instead of pieces of paper. Spare my poor heart, will you? But it's selfish of me to think such things when I encouraged you to go in the first place, isn't it? I thought I saw you once, near the supermarket, was it you? You looked so thin, I doubted my eyes. And your eyes were shifty. If that was you, cut it out  and stand straight - you look like some creep. I didn't give you my beautiful genes to abuse it looking shady. Look after yourself and please, eat truckfulls like you used to. Keep warm and don't stay out too late. Wrap things if you need to - you are old enough to know what I mean. Don't groan because it is my duty to tell you. And accept the damned cash I put in my letters you little fool. Please know that I love you no matter what happens to you or to me or your father. Even if you never ask, he is in good health. Things are more calm with him now. He does miss you. Don't think any different. He's just misguided is all. And no, I can't come. You know I can't. But I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I'm sorry. I'm just not strong enough.

Take care

Mom