Seeing Jihoon actually awake at eight AM when Seungcheol gets out of bed, on the first of their thirty days, is a surprise in itself. The second surprise being that Jihoon is attempting to cook pancakes and Seungcheol thinks he's going to burn the whole apartment down. So he gets over his surprise and takes the frypan and spatula from Jihoon’s hands, murmuring that he’ll do it. He easily pulls both items out of Jihoon’s reach and the smaller scowls, fruitlessly standing on his tiptoes and trying to grab it. Seungcheol just grins and tells him to set the table instead.

It's only when he hears the clatter of Jihoon rummaging through the cutlery drawer, does Seungcheol realise he just grinned at Jihoon, and the slight playful banter they had over the frypan is something that hasn't happened in over four years, ever since they stopped being able to have breakfast together.

“You're up early today,” Seungcheol comments when Jihoon has set the table and is now hovering behind Seungcheol as he flips pancakes.

“We have things to do,” Jihoon says simply, but Seungcheol can see the exhaustion that clings to him. He wonders if Jihoon slept. He knows not to ask.

“So what's the plan today?” he asks instead, as Jihoon carries pancake-loaded plates to their kitchen table. Seungcheol can't remember the last time they actually shared a meal on it - when they're both home, they usually just eat in front of the TV. Sometimes Jihoon will lock himself in the home studio, and if he remembers to eat, it's five minutes over the kitchen sink before he's gone again.

Jihoon hands him the maple syrup and Seungcheol sees the glimmer of his wedding band. He doesn’t understand why he’s surprised that Jihoon still wears it. It’s not like he stopped, but part of him feels like it was more habit than anything that kept him putting his ring back on each day.

“Well, I wanted to go back to places we went on dates and things like that, have fun and reminisce on the past,” his smile is tired and Seungcheol nearly drowns his pancakes in half the bottle before he realises he’s staring.

“Do you need a nap first?” Seungcheol asks even though every part of his brain had told him not to ask, “Did you even sleep?”

“I slept,” Jihoon answers coolly, but doesn’t say anything else. Seungcheol doesn’t ask further.

“How about going to the mountains and camping overnight? Actually get away from the city and everything,” Jihoon says, pulling out a worn notebook. Seungcheol recognises it as an old lyric book, one Jihoon used back in college, but the last page is covered in a list. He assumes it’s places to visit, but there’s question marks after almost everything.

Seungcheol wonders when Jihoon became so unsure of how well he knew Seungcheol. But, he reasons, he’s unsure of how well he knows the Jihoon that sits in front of him - he knew the one five years ago, when they first got married, ten years ago, when they were finishing high school and stepping into the world as new adults, going into college with bright smiles and even brighter dreams; but the Jihoon in front of him now? Seungcheol doesn’t know him the same way.

“Sure, sounds good,” Seungcheol says, swallowing a mouthful of pancake. “Do you know where to go?”

Jihoon shakes his head. Seungcheol’s mouth quirks into a smile. “Why don’t we do something else today, then plan a camping trip for tomorrow or something,”

Jihoon nods. “Okay. Uhm, how about an amusement park then? It’s a weekday, so it’ll be quiet,”

“Why not? I can’t think of anything else,” Seungcheol says, finishing his coffee.

Jihoon laughs into his mug, and Seungcheol wonders if it's his ears or if the laugh sounded bitter. He can't quite tell though - he hasn't heard Jihoon laugh in a long time.

“That’s fine, we have thirty days, we’ll work it out as we go,” Jihoon says. The eyes watching him from behind the coffee-stained cup are sad and tired.

Seungcheol looks away, nods and takes the plates to wash up. Jihoon stands beside him and dries them before putting them away.

They’re silent as they work, and Seungcheol wonders what these thirty days are going to be like.



Lotte World is brightly lit, even during the day. Jihoon steps up to the ticket booth and asks for two tickets as he fumbles to rummage through his wallet for his card. Seungcheol sees pieces of paper (full of lyrics, of course), old receipts and an odd USB sticking out of his wallet. He smiles to himself as he pulls out his more organised wallet and slides his card across and pays for both.

Jihoon splutters protests as Seungcheol pushes him through the gates. “You can pay for food and other stuff,” Seungcheol compromises. Jihoon huffs, and his cheeks are actually puffed out in displeasure. Seungcheol finds himself laughing.

“Keep acting like that and Jeonghan will try to call you his baby,” Seungcheol says, grin wide, as Jihoon stares at him. After a moment he glances at Jihoon, uncertain, smile fading from his face. “What?”

Jihoon finally looks away, the corners of his mouth twitching up in a smile. “No, just… thinking that it’s nice to hear you laugh again. I haven’t heard it in a while.”

Seungcheol doesn’t know how to answer that, so he doesn’t, and they walk in silence until they come across the first ride.

“Roller coaster?” Seungcheol asks with a grin, jerking a thumb to the empty line. Jihoon makes a face before sighing and following Seungcheol inside.

They go straight through to the ride, sitting side by side in a middle cart. The lap bar comes down to rest across them and Seungcheol sees Jihoon grip it tightly as the ride begins to move.

Is he scared? Seungcheol wonders and feels guilty for not remembering if Jihoon had a fear of heights or roller coasters. He moves a little awkwardly, but pats Jihoon’s hand and gives him a small smile.

“It’ll be okay. Relax, have fun,” he says and Jihoon nods stiffly before facing forward again. They’re nearing the crest of the ride and Seungcheol thinks Jihoon is so pale he’s going to pass out. But before Seungcheol can decide whether or not to reassure him again, the ride plunges down the slope and he lets out a yell that