Where are we lost?

Yoongi runs out, unable to stay in there anymore. It just hurts. Jimin follows after him, trying to control himself.

"Hyung, he doesn't like it when you cry" Jimin says, and that hurts him even more.

"Why? What did he do? It's all my fault! It's all my ing faukt! If it wasn't for me he would've still be alive--"

"He's still alive!" Jimin yells back. "He just isn't-isn't replying to us"

"How is it any better than being dead? They're going to kill him!" He freezes at his words. "I killed him; I was the one who killed him"

"Yoongi hyung, stop blam--"

"I should've done something to keep him away from the fight. It's all my fault... I've killed him"

He's hysterically crying as others pass by them, giving the two a weird look. Not like the two minded it anyways.

"Stop blaming yourself, Yoongi. Please" Jimin pleads, a hand on the latter's knee as he kneels before him. "Jeongguk would never say that"

"Because he isn't even there to tell that anymore! And it's all because of me!"

Yoongi hates being the first to realize that everything is real, that nothing can be reversed. He hates being the reason for it even more.

"Didn't you want to see him, Yoongi? You-You always talk about him every night" Jimin asks, but he shakes his head, turning away. 

"He should at least die in peace; I don't want to ruin that"

Jimin's hand withdraws from his knees, and that is when Yoongi knows Jimin is giving up. Convincing him was impossible.

"How can you say that?" Jimin grits through his teeth. "How can you say he'll die when he's still alive?"

"Don't be delusional, Jimin! They're going to take him off life support! It's only a matter of time till he isn't here anymore!"

"Stop saying that!" He stands up towering above Yoongi, "I can't believe you're ready to even think about that"

"This is reality, Park Jimin.This is where it ends" He chuckles bitterly, proud for once to know everything right.

What he didn't expect was a stinging pain on his face.

"Go to hell, Min Yoongi. Seriously" It's Hoseok, surprisingly. Yoongi looks up at him in shock, considering the man wouldn't even hurt a fly. "Stop thinking like that. He's alive,Yoongi! He's ing alive!" Yoongi laughs again, ready to counter that with the reality standing before them, but Hoseok cuts him off again. "Don't even come there if you're gonna be like that, please"

Yoongi laughs, but doesn't reply to him. He sees Hoseok pulling Jimin away, finally leaving him alone. He sees himself finally being left alone, and lets himself loose.

Everyone are trying not to cry. It's hard, but they try because he never liked it when they cry.

"He looks so fragile," Namjoon dares to mutter, inching closer to the almost lifeless boy before his eyes.

"He'll hear us?" Taehyung asks, clinging onto Seokjin's sleeve. "Right?"

Seokjin nods in reply, too tired to say anything. Too tired, and too stunned.

Jeongguk looks far from alive-- he almost believes everyone are trying to trick them and that he isn't really alive anymore, but the incessant and rather strangely loud beeps from the monitor makes him think otherwise. There's a heart inside him, and it's still doing its work. He has a mind, which hears everything around him. But he has a body which doesn't let him respond to it.

"Kookie, Kookie it's me, Jimin hyung. Are-Are you fine?" Jimin tries his best not to choke on anything, and could already feel his lungs constrict.

Seokjin opts to watching him from afar because, well, he knows Jeongguk. He knows reality, too. And both aren't really co-operative right now: one is slowly fading into passiveness, and the other's relatively becoming strong. They're in opposite directions, which could only mean that they were going to break apart, one day or another. And he hates it.

"We all-- Well, someone would've told you right? Seokjin hyung would drop by at times..." Hoseok mutters, and the other three turn to him with wide eyes. "What? He did,"

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Namjoon asks, finally letting his voice break. Enough of being strong anymore; enough of being strong all the time. I'm done.

It isn't important now, He sees Seokjin tell through his eyes, and shuts himself up.

"Still, we can tell him again," Jimin suggests, and everyone nods.

"Kookie, you can hear us, right? Come back," Taehyung chokes out. "Come back, get up, hit me! Prank me all you want, just come back!" He cries against the white covers while Jimin puts a hand over his back, rubbing circles. It weren't soothing, not in the very least. It is far from soothing. He feels lost; everyone feels lost.

Where were they lost, though? In the midst of the beautiful brightness that colored the blank lines of their lives, where did they lose everything? What made the colors fade away, just like the sun does when winter comes? 

Where did they lose their world in a second?

There isn't an answer.

Jeongguk hears everything. He would be lying if he says he's too tired from trying everyday. He had lost count of days. Everything is just one long hour to him, an hour before he slips into tiredness, before he slips into the deeper pits of the already prevailing darkness where he cannot feel a thing.

He tries. He tries, but no matter how much he does, fate has another wish for him, it seems. Not an inch of him moves forward, or sidewards. Not one thing tells the ones standing around him that he isn't hearing. 

He hates himself. He wishes he could rather die than go through this torture.

"Kookie, we're living together" Jimin's voice vibrates in his mind, and he finds yet another new reason to boost his will to just get up. That's what everyone had been saying to him for the past hundreds of days. Get up, Jeongguk, he would command himself. Get up. Tell everyone that you got up!

But he didn't. Or more like he couldn't.

"Namjoon hyung's a teacher for elementary students-- funny, right? He can't even handle himself and now he handles thirty kids on his own"

He wants to laugh. And he does, but it just doesn't show in his face. He's laughing inside, within himself, in a place where no one but he can reach and be in.

"And Seokjin hyung and Taehyungie are working at a bakery. The owner always tells that they're the reason the bakery's doing so well," Jimin chuckles to his right, and the sound is followed by a smack to the arm by someone. He guesses it's Seokjin.

"Hoseok hyung's working at his Father's company; we'll see him take over his Dad soon, they say he's really sincere at work" Taehyung speaks, finally, and Jeongguk feels more at ease.

"Yoongi--" Taehyung starts, but is cut off by Hoseok.

"Why're you talking about someone who doesn't even believe he's alive?" He asks, and that hits Jeongguk right at the heart.

He thinks I won't be alive. The voice revertebrates in his mind for a long time. He thinks I'll die.

Ouch.

"Still, he's our friend, hyung. He was the one who actually found us a place to live"

"Should I go fall on his legs for that? He doesn't even believe Jeongguk is fine"

Jeongguk wouldn't complain, because even he doesn't believe he's fine. How can someone fine be still like a log for days, months, a year? That doesn't mean they're fine. And Jeongguk knows he's not.

He doesn't see Yoongi standing right at the doorstep, hearing everything, muffling his own cries and trying to stay quiet. He doesn't notice Yoongi looking at him, begging for him to wake up because I had killed him. He doesn't see the guilt in his eyes. He doesn't. 

And it frustrates him to no end. What is so hard with just waking up?!

He tries, tries till he feels like he'd die from trying too much. He doesn't think he had ever put much pressure on himself for anything, ever in his life.

He thinks ot leads to somewhere, because he hears a round of collective gasps from everyone.

"He's crying... He's crying!" The way Jimin says it is full of happiness, of hope that even his own heart warms. That leads to little murmurs, and a chair being pushed away.

"Jeongguk? You can hear me, right?" He hears his Mother talk, and he wants to nod with such force that he'd crack open a walnut, but he couldn't. That makes him cry even more.

Yoongi stands outside, looking at everyone crowding around Jeongguk, and smiles to himself. Maybe they were better off without him, happier without him... safer without him.

He hadn't been of much help other than finding them a place to stay, anyway. He did his work as a friend; he performed his duties as a friend should. Maybe even more than what a friend should, but he doesn't mind. He would never mind, because they're more than just friends.

He sits outside while everyone rejoice inside about Jeongguk's simple action of letting a tear slip out, feeling out of place. He doesn't think he belongs with them anymore. He feels like a complete let down.

"Yoongi?" He looks up with tired eyes, finding Jimin before him. He doesn't have the strength to argue with him now, but he doesn't have the strength to tell him that either. He feels drained of even the last bits of energy he had. "Yoongi, come in."

"No," He shakes his head, repeatedly, having a firm grip on the handle bars of the chair. "I don't deserve to see him"

"Yoongi..." Jimin kneels down before him, this time to comfort him.

"No, you were right. I'm an who doesn't know how to protect someone; I don't know anything about believing, because the last time I did I lost my Mom. I should have stopped him; I should have run away when Jin hyung said to, but I... didn't..."

He buries his face, too embarrassed and guilty to show his face to anybody.

"And I-I know you hate me for thinking Jeongguk will die, too... You, Hoseok, probably everyone wou--"

"Shut up. Seriously" Jimin sounds serious, but breaks into a warm smile. "I won't say I didn't think about it at all; but saying that when he might have a chance of living isn't good. That's why he was angry"

"I-I'm sorry--"

"Come on, Jeongguk would love to hear from you. The doctors are checking on him, but I think you can talk to him after some hours. We need a break and he needs a break too. He's getting better, so you don't have to worry." Jimin says, pulling Yoongi up. "Come on, everyone's at the cafeteria. ty food, but at least we're together"

Yoongi wonders as Jimin pulls him along with him down the corridor.

Where are we lost?

But he isn't afraid, because wherever they are, they're together, and that one fact makes everything a lot better.

a/n: as said in my latest blog post (idk if u read it) BUT IM OUT OF SCHOOL! MY EXAMS ENDED FINALLY AND THAT MEANS MORE WRITING!