“… everytime I look into the mirror I hate myself. I’ve grown thinner and paler by day, it’s only a matter of time I’ll be left with skin and bones. The purple marks on my body are way too much, I lose count of it and it seems like it won’t disappear soon. I guess I have to skip school tomorrow since it’s Sport’s Day and I didn’t enter any events and the girls would probably be screaming in my ears if I attend the venue which is really annoying.

Truancy was never my game, but since last year, I have to. These… things that kept happening, I can’t ignore them. Not that I have a choice, I was forced … by them. They’re watching me, most of the time. I’m scared to even write this piece of . Their eyes are everywhere except school and my bedroom. But privacy was never in my life, not even school with all those stalkers, taking pictures like I’m some kind of celebrity when I’m just a normal… no, not normal nor abnormal kid (some things are just complicated), that went to school to study and apparently, studying was my escape route. As I know, many people hate studying but I grew fond of them. It helps me forget about reality, not yours, MINE.

Before, they said that I’m a nerd with looks, now, I’m just a nerd freak. Even though the girls kept their eyes on me, I realised people starts to give me negative looks. Probably because my face is turning whiter day by day. And I’ve grew colder, cold enough to make a fire freeze. It’s funny right how a flame could turn into ice without water molecules?

Today, June asked me if I were okay. So, I said that I’m fine which is definitely not and he seemed to be able to catch my lies. As he grew older, he learns how to read people’s expressions. It’s scary how fast he learned when he was only 5 years old. I know he’s unique, he’s different than me even though slowly his face changes to look like me. But he doesn’t know it yet. The perks of being me. June needs help and I know HE will help him, I hope …”

~*~

“So, Kim Jinhwan. What class are you in?” Junhoe breaks the awkward silence as they both walked on the wet pavements. The rain had stopped revealing the night sky as the clouds move with the wind, to shower other parts of the country with rain. The full moon shines its radiance on the pair of eyes of Junhoe, making them glimmer and Jinhwan just can’t take his eyes off the glowing pupils. He even forgot to answer the question that was asked.

“Umm Jinhwan?” the voice bring him back to reality. He blinked a few times before turning his head to the other side of the street, attempting to hide the red glow on his cheeks.

“I’m from class 5-A” he mutters quietly, enough for Junhoe to hear.

“That explains why I had never seen you walking by my class corridor” Junhoe said as he smiled to Jinhwan who’s still not looking at him before looking back in front, eying the wet path they’re taking as they nearly reach their home… no, Jinhwan’s home and my house. Junhoe shakes his head earning a confused glance from the smaller boy. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, so I have to call you hyung after …” Junhoe stopped his words.

“Yeah sure, if you want to” Jinhwan said as he walked without realising Junhoe who had stopped in his tracks.

He had never called someone else besides his brother, hyung. He was never fond of formalities. It doesn’t matter if they’re older or anything. He would just call them Mr or ahjussi or whatever but never hyung. So what made him call this guy, whom he just met, hyung? He watch the kid… wait, he can’t call him kid anymore. He watch the older boy walking with a part of his clothes still soaked from the rain, further and further away. Somehow, he felt pain but he doesn’t know why. Like someone squeezing his heart as he watch the petite boy slowly disappears from his line of vision. A tear escaped his eye, followed by heavy breathing as he fell on his knees.

What’s gotten into me?

~*~

Jinhwan looks to his right and realised that Junhoe was not by his side. He turn around and when he realised Junhoe’s is still not there, he decided to turn back to find him. A soft wind brushed his wet arms, making the hair behind his neck stood up. Before he realise it, something grabbed his right arm and pulled him, and he was forced to run, following whatever is pulling him.

As he ran, his eyes caught someone lying on the pavements and he quickly recognize him after he saw the black umbrella in the younger’s hand. The tight grip on his arm was no longer felt as he sprints faster towards Junhoe, with a hope that he’s okay.

~*~

“So Mom, is he okay?” Jinhwan asked his mother as she close the guest room door.

“Well I can’t say he’s fine since he had fever, apart from that, he’s perfectly fine” she said with a smile before heading towards the bathroom.

Jinhwan was glad to hear that but also, he felt bad. The fever is probably because of him. He remembered the previous event where Junhoe cried in the rain, obviously different from what he expected. The boy who once he saw smiling under the rain had cried with the clouds. Well, the reason he cried is because of him but he’s still confused.

He folds his long sleeves to reveal the hand pattern on his right arm. Bright red and it won’t disappear. He wondered if Junhwan was the one who gripped his arm this tight and pulled him towards Junhoe.

“You’re saying that you’re seeing my brother’s ghost now? Who the are you that you can see him?!”

Those words rings in his ears. It’s true, who is he for Junhwan?

Why did Junhwan reveals himself at me?

Why didn’t he meet Junhoe instead?

Just who am I to him?

A soft hand rest on his shoulder but it’s unfamiliar. The warmth and comfort is different from what his parents used to give him. When he turned back, there’s no one there, making his eyes furrowed. He turned back and almost screamed his lungs out.

Junhoe was sitting in front of him with one of his hands on Jinhwan’s shoulder. He smirked and Jinhwan realised the attire that the tall guy is wearing and it’s obviously not a school uniform.

“Junhwan?” the ghost smiled at him and Jinhwan was really confused on how indifferent the both brothers are. They looked practically the same, like twins. No, more like a mirror reflection. But when Junhwan was around, Jinhwan felt a different feeling than when he was with Junhoe. Despite the same looks, both of them giving out different auras. With Junhwan, he could feel the sadness just by staring at his eyes while Junhoe… he doesn’t know. He could feel something but he’s not sure. The rapid beatings of his heart was what he’s sure of. But there’s still things that couldn’t understand and since the answer is in front of him, he guess he should ask.

“What am I to you?”

Junhwan opened his mouth but words didn’t come out. He hesitates before standing up and walk towards the guest room, passing through the door like it doesn’t exist.

Jinhwan followed the ghost into the room and he had to make sure he doesn’t make any sounds as he opened the door. The first thing that he sees is Junhoe sitting on the side of the bed, massaging his forehead.

“You need to rest, Junhoe. You had a fever” Jinhwan said as he tucked the tall boy back on the bed. His head scans the whole room, looking for another figure but his attempt failed.

“What are you looking for?” Junhoe asked when he watch the small boy looking around the room.

“Your brother” Jinhwan answered earning a surprised look by the younger.

“He’s here?!” he screamed as he also attempts to look for his brother.

“Nope, he’s gone. He was outside with me earlier and then, he entered this room and poof” Jinhwan said as he make hand gestures while saying the last word.

“Oh” a hint of sadness was seen in his eyes and Jinhwan could not ignore them.

“Don’t look like that”

“Like what?” Jinhwan hesitates for a while. The sadness in Junhoe’s orbs was clear, cloudy and dark.

“Like your brother”

Hye guys. I'm so sorry for the very late update. I think I couldn't keep my words about updating in every two days after my finals but I'll try my best to update whenever I can. 

And this is a short chapter I know. Ugh.. With my siblings around, I had to be cautious about writing ff so it's a bit stressful.

Do comment please because I really need that hahaha you know I got ideas from your comments so please comment (I'm literally begging TT)

Thank you for reading ^^

-akirazinan