Hanbin pull the chair as he made Chaejung sit in one of the table’s chair.

It’s not a luxurious candle like dinner like in those movies, moreover the hotel is not the luxurious one. But Hanbin has trying his best to make the athmosphere looks romantic as he is the one the desigh everything. From the flower, the candle, the food, the fragrance. Everything is Chaejung’s favorite. He started to fill her glass with the wine.

Hanbin keep gazing as Chaejung as they both ate his food calmly.

She is so beautiful inside and outside. And he surely can’t understand how someone as beautiful and amazing as her could stick around with him. Moreover when he remember how used to label him with the worst personality ever. He is quiet arrogant, poisonius, self-centered and hot tempered. Moreover when it comes to feeling, he is labelled as one of the person wh  can’t express his feeling. Thus seeing this woman right here with him is amazing to him.

They keep talking and laughing at severything that comes to their mind. 

“ Beautiful. . “ said Hanbin absentmindedly.

“ Huh? The city light—“

“ I wasn’t talking about the view. . “ said Hanbin.

He guess. . people is right. Love is both selfish and selfless emotion. It is a selfish emotion as you want that person to be part of your life forever. Eventhough you feel like you don’t deserve her or she is too good for you, you wanted that person to be part of your life. And at the same times, it is selfless because you are willing to go to any extent for the happiness of that peson.

Suddenly, spending so much money on a other person beside his family doesn’t feel like burden if he can get those twinkling eyes and smile in return.

Suddenly, dodging an after party after receiving awards doesn’t feel so loney if he can get to cuddle with the love of his life.

Suddenly, doing his full package schedule doesn’t feel so hard if he get constant encouraging words from the person who understand him most.

“ You know. . two years ago. . when I loose my dream through WIN: Who is Next. . Everything feels so hard for me. . Everything is so hard that I drove myself to your house that night. . “

“ You? Drove? To my house?”

“ Rather than knocking at you home, since it’s in the middle of the night, I choose to call you. . That is when you choose to finally let go of me. . To finally slap me with the relity that we already broken up and I am the one who ended our relationship first. . “

Chaejung can saw how Hanbin’s eyes trun into a glassy as he trying to hold his emotion. Chaejung hold his hand as Hanbiin trying to express his feeling through words.

She know Hanbin is not the most outspoken boyfriend out there when it comes to tell about how he feel. So rather than push him, she always trying to comfort him and give him time to say about what he wanted to said.

“ During those two years time when you are not beside me. . I keep asking myself. . Why did I run to you when I need a person most? Why did I feel incomlete and feel against the world when you are not beside me? Why did the highligh of my day revolve around you? Why did I desperately trying to find a way, an excuse so I just can see you again? Then I came to a realization that After everything, you will always the only person who were with me, by my side moreover when I need people most. . When my dad passed away, When I feel like neglected by my mom since Hanbyul comes into our life, When I confront my dream to became an idol, , You were there, unconditional to every and drama I put you through. . “

“ I know I always love you. . I have my won share of mistake as I betray you. . But, baby, you teach me a lesson abut how gonna life be like when you are not on in. . It’s like the time stopped as I just stand there, paused, and waiting you to come back to my life. . That night, not only that I loose my girlfriend who loves me unconditionally, I also loose my bestfriend who always beside me, And it’s so hard. . Living without you is so damn hard. . And I don’t wanna be on that period of time again. . People always thought that I am getting so depressed because I loose on WIN Who is Next. . But they never know that it’s not the only thing I loose. . I always tell to interview that I loose my dream. . But what they don’t know is. . you are the dream I’ve been talking about. .“

" That woman--"

" She never loves me Jungie ah. . We just caught up in the moment. . She always look up to this sunbae of mine and they have on off relationship. . And I am kinda her rebound for him. . But she never actually loves me. . And I am not sure if I love her too because being away from doesn't hurt as much as being away from you. . She just--an excitement of new things I try-- but that is. . We both know that we are at fault and I am the one who ended our things because I realize that for me it's always been you and always you. .I ended it one week after the final show of WIN. . I really wanted to just run at you and comeback to you. . But I already sign a contrcat with YG to becomes a trainee until idol and the penalty will be too much for me to pay. . Since that time, I am so determined and focus to debut so I can finally aproach you again. . So YG will let me to do anything I want and doesn't pester me of being a rookie. .  And now I understand about what people said that first loves never die, it keeps live on a man's heart. . Just like you are to me. . " 

* * *

“Bin—nie “ she is suttering as his shaft keep grind on her. Hanbin opened his eyes as he snap his gaze at her. He is stop moving immidiately as he eyeing Chaejung with a blush on his face and a painful tent on his crocth. Chaejung turn her body as she is now facing him. Never in his life Hanbin fell so ashamaed in his life.

But what can he do when he is a hot blooded man with the love of his in the bed together. What could possibly go wrong?

“ Ah—“ Hanbin cupped his mouth as he let out a lewd moan when his tent graze at Chaejung’s stomach. Chaejung blush hard as she hear him.

He never know having a wet dream can be this painful.

“ M—Mian Chaejung-ah. . I—it’s out of my control. . “ said Hanbin embarassedly. Chaejung stare at his tent then back at his eyes,” I—It’s just you were here beside me. . And . . I—I never touch anyone beside you and then—I—I will sleep on the floor. . My hormones will be dangerous for you. .  “ Hanbin look away again as he begin to sit. But before he could leave, Chaejung grabs the edge of his shirt.

“Why you have to sleep in the floor?I—I mean. . we always sleep together in my apartment. . ”.

“ I don’t know what’s going on with me tonight, Jungie. . I am not myself tonight and my mind keep directing me to som—something not good for you. . “ said Hanbin,” I—I don’t know what I will be doing to you in your sleep. . When you are this close. . “

“ I—I am not r—ready. . “

“ I know. . And I wanted to wait for you to be ready to accept me again. . To actually trust me again like befo— “ whisper Hanbin.

“ But we can—you know—doing stuff without the actual thing . . “

“ W-what?” Hanbin gaped at Chaejung as he see the smirk on Chaejung’s face.

“ L—like not the . . but the intimate gesture. . the touch, the whisper, only between the couple. . “ said Chaejung as he ed his shirt one by one. Hanbin shivered as he trying hard