Quick reminder before the chapter that this may be triggering. I did attempt to ensure that it was as safe as possible and was less likely to trigger, but if you are easily triggered, this is a little reminder. 

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“What do you mean I can’t be reassigned to her?”

Seungcheol looked sorry, and it was making Jeonghan more and more restless as time went on without an answer.

“Seungcheol,” he prompted, “What do you mean?”

Seungcheol took a deep breath.

“Your mother is no longer eligible to be a recipient of a guardian angel.”

This made Jeonghan angry. Angry and helpless. He could take a fair guess at what Seungcheol meant by that, and all he hoped was that he wasn’t right.

“What do you mean she’s not eligible? She’s a good person. She’s selfless and she-“

“She’s dead, Jeonghan.”

And it only took those three words for Jeonghan’s world to come crashing down around him.

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“Joshua, honey,” His mother called. She was worried about him, and he knew it. He knew that he wasn’t acting as he usually did. He knew that he was cold and distant and he knew she knew that he was sad.

“Yes, mom?” He tried to smile, but he couldn’t. His heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” she looked concerned, and sat next to him on the couch. He turned to face her slowly, as if it pained him even to move.

“Mrs. Yoon,” she started. She finally had Joshua’s attention. He sat straight up and listened intently.

“Yes? What about her?” He prompted. He cared about anything that Jeonghan cared about, and therefore Mrs. Yoon was of his upmost importance.

“She… she passed away, Joshua.”

Joshua was lost. He didn’t know what to feel, and the first thing he thought of was Jeonghan. He hoped Jeonghan was okay. A small tear trickled down his cheek. As worried as he was, he couldn’t bring himself to think about Jeonghan leaving him and resenting him for this. He could only think about how sorry he was, how devastated he was, and how badly he wished for Jeonghan’s well-being.

“I know you’ve taken a liking to her. I know this must be hard. But… but she left this, and I think it’s meant for you.”

Joshua’s mother handed him a small paper with messy, smudged writing on it before standing to leave him alone.

‘Dear Joshua,

I’d like to thank you for always visiting me, and apologize for the visits always being unpleasant. You are such a lovely boy, and I only wish Jeonghan had been around to meet you. I’m very sure he would have liked you. Maybe even more than I do. You’re a special boy, Joshua. You brought light into the darkest point of my life. Please never let that light go out. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t have stayed around longer to have shared a pleasant conversation with you. I’m sorry for leaving once we had become friends. But I was so sick, Joshua. I couldn’t stop it. Every part of my body ached. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I couldn’t suffer like that anymore. I was much too tired. I have so much love and respect for you. And again, I’d like to thank you. You reminded me of Jeonghan, and meeting you was something I will never regret.

Love always,

Mrs. Yoon.”

Joshua found himself walking briskly to his room and shutting the door. He sunk down onto the bed and allowed his tears to fall. He sat there, simply sobbing for hours, until a little white flower landed on his lap.

“I’m s-so sorry, J-Jeonghan,” he whispered between sobs. 

And then, something urged him to sleep.

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“Jeonghan, I’m so sorry,” were the first words that left Joshua’s lips. He could tell Jeonghan had been crying. He could see it in his eyes. And he couldn’t blame him. Especially not when he had been doing the same.

Jeonghan stood wordlessly, looking helpless and broken, and Joshua couldn’t feel anything but guilt.

Jeonghan was the one who had saved him from danger. Jeonghan was the one who had saved him from sadness. Jeonghan was the one who saved him from death. And now, Joshua would be the one to save Jeonghan from himself.

Joshua didn’t think twice when he wrapped his arms around the slightly shorter boy, and Jeonghan didn’t think twice when he buried his face into the crook of Joshua’s neck.

Joshua didn’t mind the tears soaking through his shirt. He couldn’t mind them; they were Jeonghan’s.

“It’s m-my f-fault,” Jeonghan sobbed quietly, “I-It’s m-my fault she’s d-dead.”

This hurt Joshua more than he had expected.

“No,” Joshua would have used a harsher tone had Jeonghan not been hurting enough, “No it’s not. It’s mine. I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t make her happy… I couldn’t bring you back… No matter how badly I wanted to.”

“J-Joshua?” Jeonghan called, sounding like a sad little boy. Joshua hummed in response.

“S-Seungcheol says I can see her again now. We can be together again now.”

Joshua was hurting. He just lost a new friend. He couldn’t lose Jeonghan, too. Not yet at least. But he didn’t want to hold Jeonghan back. He didn’t want to force him into misery.

“Will you go back to heaven then, Jeonghan?” 

“I can’t leave you, Joshua,” Jeonghan whispered, “You said so yourself,” he pulled back from the hug to look Joshua in the eye, “you need me.”

Joshua felt immensely guilty.

“I can’t keep you from your own mother, Jeonghan. I can’t live with myself if you do that. I can’t-“

“and,” Jeonghan’s voice was calm now, “I need you, too.”

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This was... kind of hard to write. I'm sorry for the update not being as quick as usual. There should be two or three more chapters after this. And so I'm hoping to finish up this story by tomorrow or the day after. Little note again that the next chapter may be triggering as well, and so I hope you'll all read with caution. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was a little... emotional.

And again, really big thank yous to my upvoters, subscribers, and viewers (I'm at almost 800 views right now.... this is surreal thank you!!!), and an extra special thank you to my commenters MoonlitCrossroads, BBCandARMY, pandamst3r, and the lovely jeonhans~ <3

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this chapter because the comments make me legitimately excited and happy!! So yeah, please tell me what you think and if you liked it and if you expected this or not and what you think will happen!

Thank you~!!