Kim Jongin.

                  Kim Jongin with his jet-black wavy hair and pair of dark grey eyes. Kim Jongin who stood a little taller than before, a little more inapproachable. My feet was itching forward, my eyes dropped a little in surrender. It was gone, I told myself, the reflection I used to see in his eyes was now gone. My heart was also gone with it. He was just there, standing without an ounce of emotion, as if I was invisible in his sight. All the words I imagined to say suddenly disappeared at the tip of my tongue.

                  “Candidate Kim, this is your comrade, Officer Kim Jongin. The two of you shall work together closely from here onwards,” Lieutenant General Han said in a low whisper before giving a charming smile to the President. “Good afternoon, Mrs. President. I am bringing you the newly picked candidate to serve you by your side. Officer Kim Sara, salute!”

                  My head was heavy but I forced myself to salute. My heart was cold as frost, hit by bricks of ice again and again. Jongin was merciless. I had never expected that our reunion would be so apathetic. My eyes, used to searching for his figure in the crowd, were now avoiding his, as he looked anywhere but me. Lieutenant General Han never seemed to notice the tension between us and casually walked towards the President. She stood up, eyed the two of us with a bit of disapproval (presumably because of our age) and spoke, “The two of you can wait in the glass hall as I talk to Lieutenant General Han.”

                  I was ready to run out, but Jongin reached the door first and went out without so much as a glance back. If he did not wish to talk, then I did not have any more words to say. Our relationship seemed so far in the past, as if it was a wistful dream I was disillusioned with. I did not forget to bow down once again and quietly left the room. Both my hands were clenched into angry tight fists. I had never rested in peace for two years because of Grandfather’s existence. Now that he was back in Korea, I would destroy him even if it meant killing Jongin first.

                  “Sena.”

                  Whenever he called me, it was still the same melancholy that echoed deep within me. The fists now loosened as I walked faster. I did not bother to look back at his following figure, straight and proud with his arms folded in front of his chest. All the hairs on my neck stood up and I felt the itch on my right eye, twitching painfully. I pushed back all the memories and all the things that would bring me back to him. Right now, we were back to square one, just strangers to each other’s life.

                  “Sena, have you been well?”

                  His audacity to ask about my well-being was, to say the least, surprising. Shocking, even. “You shouldn’t even ask if you have any bits of humanity, Kim Jongin, but then again, I forgot. It’s my bad. You do not have an ounce of humanity, do you? off. What are you doing here? This is not your place, Kim Jongin. Go back where you belong. Go back to Grandfather and report everything to him because that is the kind of shallow life you are living. Seeing your face ruins my perfectly fine day.”

                  “Ouch,” Jongin pretended to flinch, but his gesture was so exaggerated I silently scoffed in my heart. “’Go back to where you belong’, huh?” He was nearer while I halted. “Guess that’s why I’m here, Princess. Aren’t you happy to see me again? I think I deserve a welcoming hug.”

                  I wanted to cry, but the laughter reached my throat as I released it in horrible high-pitch. His words were thoughtless as ever, not that I would expect anything more from someone as ignorant as Jongin. I turned around, facing him with my eyes narrowed. For a moment, they faltered slightly when I caught what seemed to be sincerity in those pale grey orbs. “Happy to see you again? Oh, Kim Jongin, you must be dreaming right now. Wake up and face reality, then get lost. I don’t wish to see that ing annoying face every day for twenty four per seven. Why are you here, anyway? Does Grandfather finally decide to have one last match, is that it? Or has he orchestrated a perfect plan to kidnap and drain me of blood now that he is dying and all?”

                  He took two steps back with his long legs and threw back laughing. If there was anything that changed during these two years, it was his stature. He was more imposing, more beautiful, more inhumane. So perfect and still so damaged. I could see the broken product of Grandfather’s training, and yet after two years of assuring myself, I could only feel a little bit of pity for him. I was not completely innocent, but the way he harmed me and the gun shot he planted on my chest still remained. The scar was a reminder what a convincing liar he could be, and I was not about to fall for the second time.

                  “Sena, Sena, still foul-mouthed, I see,” Jongin kept a distance between us, but I could see from the space he created, the afternoon sunlight shining brightly onto his tanned face. There was a small crease between his eyebrows that were now highlighted, presumably from the amusement dancing in his eyes. Though his appearance was not the first thing that attracted me – after all, I had seven equally attractive men two years ago – Jongin’s face still had the sort of impact he posed on me two years ago. He had the kind of beauty that mesmerized, leaving me speechless and blank for a few seconds before I finally came back to my senses. “As for what the Old Man is planning, I have no idea whatsoever. Perhaps you can go and ask him. You are his favourite granddaughter, after all.”

                  “Go and yourself, Kim Jongin,” I had nothing else to say and rushed back to the glass hall. A large hand emitting warmth caught me off-guard when he tried to grasp my shoulder. Fully-clothed in my training attire, I did not find it hard to grab that insolent bastard and tried to smack him down. Unfortunately, this man was, after all, the first-rank soldier of my Seiryuu Elites. He would not have held that title for years if he was not suited for it. Even Sehun, whom in my opinion was the best fighter along with this arrogant man, was ranked second beneath him. There was not much power difference between those two, but with a girl like me, it was obvious.

                  I suddenly wished Sehun was here. He would know how to handle this situation well. He was proper, eloquent and appropriate. I was a fool for reacting so impulsively. My quick mouth and hand, and my hot-temper was not helping the position I was at. He reached for my hand, slapped it away, turned me around and put a hand over my neck. It was an intimate position to others, but I was struggling underneath his arms. My other hand was tightly held by him, and after a few minutes of vain movement, I finally gave up. By then, the maids had left the compound, embarrassed and shy.

                  My anger flared up again. He was abusing his position right now. Given that I had freed him of his vow, he might kill me now if he wished. I was suddenly alarmed by the promise he made two years ago and coughed up in a momentarily stupid bravery, “Is this why you are here? To finish off where you left off? Do you want to kill me now, Kim Jongin? Is it so hard for you to move on if I am alive?”

                  His grip loosened, and when I was free, I punched him hard on the chest, releasing half of my anger. Jongin staggered back, his face dazed. There was a solemn look afterwards, when he finally snapped back to reality. “Now that we are working in the same compound, can’t we be civilised, Princess? Forget the matter of the past and start anew. It would be better for you and me, wouldn’t it? After all, we were close before. Things shouldn’t have turned so sour.”

                  “Start a new? What for? So you can stab me in the back like you did back then?” I blabbered without much thoughts. My anger towards him was like a dam bursting out after being kept at bay for so long. It was waves after waves, and it did not see any stopping anytime soon. “We will be civilised, Kim Jongin, of course we will. But we would be no more than strangers. Mark my word. Step out of your boundary and I will kill you with my own hand, even if it means killing both of us in the process.”

                  “Strangers?” Jongin stepped forward. His chest was against my tiny head. I looked upwards and met his eyes, full of mysteries. In my lifetime, there were only a few things I had yet to figure out, and one of them was Kim Jongin. His alluring scent was slightly different, just as his choice of perfume changed from spicy mandarin to sweet woods and fresh rain. “I doubt we would ever become strangers, Sena. Old bonds aren’t so easy to be cut off.”

                  When he mentioned bond, it pricked at my heart. My eyes flashed with the butterfly kisses he gave me, and my hand was itching to touch his mouth again. When my gaze rested at his neck, I was suddenly overwhelmed by the hatred and how much I wanted to strangle that perfect face right now. It was odd. When he left me, all I wanted was an explanation. And now that he was here, I was frightened less. It was not the change or his presence that scared me the most. Rather, it was the thumping of my heart that signalled that nothing had changed for two years. He still had that kind of butterfly effect on me, and this time, it wasn’t pleasant. No, it was like a hurricane, sweeping in everything in a storm of emotions.

                  “That’s too bad, Kim Jongin,” I showed fake sympathy and coldly smiled at his pleasant face, “I have already cut you off. Long, long ago…”

***

                  “Sena!” Sehun stood up from his seat, finally heaving a sigh of relief when I stumbled onto the living room, tired and pale. Instead of looking at him, I stared at my own reflection and realised how ugly I looked right now, with dark eye bags and chapped purple lips. I groaned, untied the lace on my shoes and put them off in a corner before walking like a dead zombie to my own room. On the table – much to my own surprise – was different plates of my favourite food.

                  I picked up the chopsticks and bit onto a piece of sweet-sour chicken. The taste lingered on my tongue until I flinched and smiled sheepishly at Sehun, finally giving him the attention he deserved, “Oops, sorry, Hun. The food is cold.” He wordlessly put the plates on a large tray and carried them to the small kitchen in my room. There was dissatisfaction in his gaze, but he did not voice it out until he came back later on with heated food. “How long did you wait? And why is there only one bowl of rice? Where is yours?”

                  Sehun lost his appetite long ago. Still, out of respect, he went back and got a bowl for himself.

                  I was starving, and Sehun was an amazing cook, third after Kyungsoo and Yixing. He did not look like the kind of man who would step into the kitchen – with his cold, princely look – but those lean fingers and big hands of his were amazing. If he ever got married in the future, he would make an amazing husband. And yet, at that moment, I selfishly wanted to keep him by my side forever. I could not imagine him anywhere else. Wherever I went, there was Sehun. We were almost always together and it was a strange relationship – not entirely platonic, but not overreaching, either. I liked the pace we were at. I liked the comfort he provided for me, the kind I could not get from anyone else.

                  “Where have you been, Sena? You look so tired,” He spoke out of concern, brushing away a strand of hair that fell onto my eyes and put them behind my ear. His action was gentle and affectionate, and for a moment, I paused. While I was busy picking up food and savouring them like a pig, he was staring, and I silently blushed before I swallowed the lump on my throat. Beside me, there was a glass of yoghurt drink – strawberry-flavoured – and it was small detail like this that showed Sehun’s consideration for my well-being.

                  Sehun was a pillar of support for me, in a different way Luhan and Joonmyun would ever be. To say that I was entirely unguarded in front of him would be untrue, because the bitter taste of Jongin’s betrayal had taught me a lifetime lesson I could not forget. But if I weighed on the things he had done for me in these two years, I would be ashamed to say that I could never repay the kindness and patience he had given me. When I was sad, he would always find an excuse to stay by my side; sometimes sitting silently or comforting me with gentle words. When I was happy, Sehun always stood by one side, watching and letting me celebrate with others while he shook his head in adoration. He always knew the right things to say and the appropriate things to do. He was my protector, and I was glad I met someone like him in my life.

                  “I went with Taeyong. Did you ask him?” I stuffed my mouth full, pushing the guilt to someone else.

                  “Taeyong said you went to the museum, but only gullible people would believe in that excuse,” Sehun smiled brightly, but there was no joy in his eyes. His smirk was mocking, but it was also pleasant and composed. I had long realised that Oh Sehun was a very calculative man and nothing would escape his brilliant mind. Sometimes his words were blunt, like the sharpened edge of a polished knife. Unlike Jongin, Sehun might be gentle, but he was not soft or weak. He was strong in his own way, and there was something admirable about that quality he possessed. When I first met him, I hated this cunning personality of his because I thought he would use me like everyone else. I was wrong.

                  “Well, if Taeyong lies, then I definitely won’t tell you the truth, either. Tell you what, Hun: we went on a date. Story ends,” I casually replied, but the impact of it was much greater than the light tone I used to answer him.

                  Sehun stopped chewing (though he never did swallow much because of his lack of appetite). His hand was half-hanging in the air, his eyes darkened. Usually, there was always some sort of peace in his dark brown eyes, but tonight there was none. He seemed angry, disappointed, and dare I say… hurt. If I didn’t know better, I would say jealous, but then Sehun wasn’t that type of person and I would not discard the long-running ambiguity between us. Oh Sehun could not be jealous. That was impossible. My thoughts were too far-fetched I should be ashamed.

                  “A date?” If the pain in his eyes weren’t obvious before, then he did a bad job covering his tone with it. There were acid dropping from his voice, and I shivered and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Perhaps I should not have joked so lightly because Sehun seemed so worried, given the seriousness of his question when he asked. I wanted to apologize, but my firm resolution to keep the mission a secret shut me down again. “Very well, Sena. Whatever it is you are not telling me, I will soon find out. Now, eat more,” he picked more meats and pushed it to my bowl, “You are slimming down and it bothers me as your protector.”

                  I smiled. His tone of concern warmed up my heart. I could imagine a family with him. And even though it was small, the family was lively and harmonious. In that picture, Sehun took on the centre role, and strangely, his face was the one who stood out most while others were blurry and uncertain. I shoved that imagination away and continued to smile brightly at him. This was the kind of peace he provided me in my chaotic life, and I couldn’t be more grateful.