“Genbu only blesses the son of this family,

The Priest must be chosen to avoid conflict”

Book of Lunar Eclipse, 1211, J.P.

                  Trust.

                  What is trust?

                  Trust was an illusion. It brought nothing more than heartache. Grandfather told me not to trust anyone, even myself. I guess he was right, since I made stupid decisions from time to time. The worst thing about being brainwashed was knowing that the damage was done, and there was nothing you could do about it. 

                  “Which date would it fall on?” Both of us finished the tasks by an hour past midnight. I was a tad bit tired, and I could tell that Sehun was, too. We were now sitting by the couch, drinking milks to help us sleep better.

                  “June thirtieth, Friday,” I yawned for the nth time, half of my body numbed because I had been sitting for too long. I peeled off the snail sheet mask from my face and threw it on the dustbin. “Sehun, you should go back and sleep, too. We are both worn out from everything that happened today.”

                  “You’re right,” He stood up and straightened his shirt. Some of his hair fell down onto his face and I had the strongest urge to reach out and brushed it away for him. So I did. And he did not seem too surprised nor did he flinch. “Sena?” He called my name with a low whisper because my face was so close to his. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

                  “No,” I replied without thinking too much. It was an honest question and he deserved an equally honest answer. Nevertheless, I hid away the fact that half of my ity was already gone, and while it might be a huge scandal if it leaked to public, I regret nothing about it. This was why I chose to keep quiet. Because society did not appreciate what I did. “Grandfather was strict on that.”

                  Sehun chuckled, “I can tell.”

                  No, you could not, Sehun. I concealed the bitterness in my heart and opened the door for him. He messed up his hair again and yawned, leaning onto the doorframe before I could do anything about it. His tall stature towered over me, so I had to look up, where his lips were located inches away from my head. It would be a lie if I said I was calm at the moment, because I was anything but that.

                  “I meant what I said, Sena.”

                  “This is only the second day, Sehun,” I reminded him harshly. The coldness felt foreign at the tip of my tongue. Even though we were not closely related, he was still a distant cousin of mine, so I had to rule out any possibility for further development. In the top of a world like this, feelings like love did not exist.

                  “Only the second to many more,” He cheekily replied. He lifted his hands, as if he wanted to touch my cheeks, but withdrew the last moment. Had I not known any better, I would have thought Sehun was sincere, but his actions were too calculated to be genuine. My eyes darkened.    

                  “Go to sleep. You are delirious,” was the coldest, and by far, the cruelest words I had ever said to my family. It would beat the many sarcastic remarks I had spoken to my greedy uncles before. Without waiting for his reply, I shoved him back so that he staggered a few steps away from me and shut the door on his face.

***

                  I woke up earlier than most of the people in this house. At 4.30 in the morning, I was ready to go to school and I wasted no time in it. Frankly I did not feel safe in my own home. Sehun was right. I was not dumb. I would not fall for anyone’s trap and especially not his. In that frantic moment, I decided to call Kim Joonmyun.

                  “Yoon Sena,” His raspy morning voice hit my ear. Clearly he was awoken by my phone call and he was not all too pleased about it. There was a mumble of someone else beside him, and I did not have to guess that it was another girl he brought to bed last night.

                  “Kim Joonmyun,” I greeted him casually. I did not feel an ounce of guilt – in fact, it was exactly the opposite – for having disturbed his sleep very early in the morning. It was only two-hours difference between Seoul and Singapore.

                  Joonmyun grunted and I could hear the soft noises of clothes and bed shrinking. I waited in the bus stop as I examined my nails out of boredom. A few seconds later, he spoke, and I could imagine a picture of him, holding onto a glass of water by the refrigerator, trying to knock some sense to himself, “So, why the sudden call? If this is about the contract, you could have waited. You know how I feel about waking up in the morning.”

                  I snorted and bit onto the soft white bread in dissatisfaction. “Well, you should stop banging girls late at night. You sound so worn out.”

                  “Habits now that I don’t have a girlfriend,” He paused to drink water. Talking to Kim Joonmyun was pleasant. No one would expect the kind of conversation we had, nor would they expect that the prim and proper-looking Joonmyun would behave wildly behind their backs. Of course no one knew. He was a terrific actor and brilliantly covered all the tracks of his late night activities away from the family and the whole world.

                  “So? What’s happening early in the morning? I assume you are now back in Seoul with the main family, aren’t you?”

                  I sighed, “Yes, I’m in Seoul right now.”

                  He did not try to ask me more. The bus came and I went in. Because I was not yet publicized to the media, no one knew that an eighteen year-old would hold the power of an entire empire. I did not plan to show up until I graduated high school, at the very least, so until then, the Elders would represent me in most of the public events.

                  “Is the chick you are sleeping with there?”

                  He took seconds just to reply, and I suspected that he was taking his time just to annoy me. Kim Joonmyun was a very good friend, which was why I was willing to stake a claim on the Genbu’s family matter when I was not supposed to. In my opinion, Joonmyun would make a good leader, as well as a formidable enemy. However, he, himself, remained passive-aggressive on the whole matter, only striking when he liked to. Even his brothers could not do much against him.

                  “Worry not, my little worrywart. I am kicking her out now,” He chuckled and I basked in the beautiful sound of his laughter, where he sounded so free and childlike. Unlike the Genbu, us, Seiryuu only had the youngest daughter to rely on, and in this generation, I was the only daughter that was born after a few generations of naught.

                  “Joonmyun, I want to breathe,” I choked on my sentence as my voice slowly died down. “Seoul’s been plentiful and it’s getting really overwhelming. I’ve only been here for two days and all I can think of is going back to the temple in Tibet and how peaceful it is.”

                  “Ah, you are usually not so hasty, Sena, love. What is bothering you?” His voice was so soothing. I leaned on the window and stifled a tired yawn, “I think it’s my PMS. I have been craving chocolate and I am getting agitated at every little thing.” And then Sehun’s face popped out in my mind, followed by an annoying frown on Jongin’s face. “And… I have to live with both my protectors, who are also distant cousins of mine.”

                  “Is that the root of your problem? You are not comfortable living with males?” He teased. While I was sour about this whole thing, he was laughing at me and mocking me for being such a worrywart. I rolled my eyes and drew a hiss at him,

                  “See, the thing is… they are annoyingly hot.”

                  “Great, hormone confusion!” He sounded even happier. “Don’t cheat on me, though!”

                  “ you, Kim Joonmyun, I am serious!” I groaned helplessly. He did not seem to understand the complications I was facing. Most people forgot that I had experienced more than most eighteen years old had, and it was hard for me to see people nicely. This also explained why I felt so guarded all the time, especially with those who were close to me. Yet at the same time, I was also a teenager who worried a lot about trivial stuffs like crushes and hot boys.

                  “Alright, Yoon Sena. How hot are they?”

                  I did not have to think twice before answering because the reply came so easily, “Mind-blowingly hot. Like you know how those romance novels always describe men as Greek God? Well, my cousins are not Greek Gods, but they are close.” With Joonmyun, nonsensical things came to me like a second nature. He was the only one in this whole world who saw me as Yoon Sena, a normal, whiny eighteen year-old hitting the peak of her puberty.

                  “You can’t lust after them, Love,” He chuckled and I heard the sound of water running. He would probably soak in hot water to start his morning routine. It was frightening how well I seemed to know him when I had only ever stayed with him for a few months.

                  “I know. I just need to let it out and you are the only person who came to mind,” I honestly said. Then I lowered my voice and spoke in a more composed manner, “My Elders are asking why I can afford to secure a tie with Genbu so easily.” I snickered. “Does your clan know about our little deal?”

                  “Not yet. And I am not planning on telling them until we have an agreement,” Gone had the trace of laughter in his voice. He halted, “When are you going to give me an answer? I don’t want to have a false hope on anything, Yoon Sena. You know how much I loathe that.”

                  “There is no false hope here, Kim Joonmyun,” I said mockingly. “Don’t put too much faith in me. I have only read the last page of your documents and I must say that your requests bother me much. Give me a little more time to think. You are asking an awful lot from me.”

                  “Well, the decision is in your hands,” He sighed heavily, “Speaking of which, I would congratulate you properly when I meet you. Being a leader at such a young age must be burdensome, huh?”

                  I groaned at his reminder. “You have no idea. Okay, I’m getting off the bus now.”

                  He laughed out loud, “What time is it? Five in the morning and you’re already at the school? Are you so stressed out that you can’t wait to get out of your house?”

                  “Yeah, well, shut up, Kim Joonmyun. You are annoying.”

                  The water was still running. The silence was so profound. Neither of us talked and I thought he had fallen asleep due to exhaustion. The sky was still dark and I suddenly regretted coming here so early. What should I do now? The class started in three hours.

                  “Hey, Sena?” He asked, just to make sure that I was still on the line. I hummed as a reply and waited for him to continue what he wanted to say, “You are one hell of a strong girl, even if you are barely eighteen. Don’t hang your head down. Show the who is the lady boss, alright?”

                  I held back laughter and nodded, “Of course. Bye, Kim Joonmyun.”

                  I was no longer so doubtful about everything. My head cleared up by his encouragement. He was right. I was trained my entire life to take over this clan someday. I should not be fearful of who I was, and what I was meant to be. After all I was a Seiryuu, and a Dragon should be untamed and unchained. 

                  “Bye, Yoon Sena.”

                  Clicked.