Chapter 24

I tapped my foot on the floor as mom offered a litany of nagging when I told her I had to stay longer because of what happened.

"Mom, someone got hurt...no—what?! You thought I had hit someone again? Definitely not!" I shouted over the phone, then backed down a little when mom started sniffling. Well, here is my dramatic mother at it again.

"Now you just keep shouting at your mother. Oh my...is this how we even raised you?"

"Mom." I sighed in frustration, tightening my hold over the phone to restrain myself from shouting at her. "Look, I'm sorry. And if it'll make you feel better, I will promise to drink my medication and just come home with Jongin."

"You will?" Delight was in her voice.

"Of course." I said, rolling my eyes. She chuckled, telling me how pleased she was with the arrangement, and before I knew it, she had cut the call without even saying goodbye. I was just glad it was finally over. Ugh.

I shoved back my phone in my skirt pocket and ambled towards the stool where I had left my backpack on. I sat next to it, fished out my medication from inside my bag that mom had prepared and a bottled of water. I was about to gulp down everything when I noticed Sehun's shadow move from behind the white, thin curtain boxing him in from view (so much for having privacy, that one’s not helping at all).

He slowly pushed the curtain aside, and saw me on the stool directly across him. I pretended not to notice and still gulped the medication in my hand without any reservation. When I looked up at him, he was still staring at me. I stared back, intending to intimidate. But he was as unwavering as his stoic face, a complete paradox to the little child inside him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. He blinked at me as if he had just realized I had spoken to him then.

He raised his hand to his forehead, pressed on his skin to inspect for injuries, and when he felt the plaster on his left temple, he winced.

"I think I'm fine besides this." He said, pointing at his injury.

I chuckled, remembering what happened. He whipped his eyes in my direction and displayed a face of surprise. I continued to smile and said, "Jin must have been really angry to not notice that you were there."

He looked down, rubbing his nape and agreed. "He must have. But I really think it was your fault I got this. You're horrible." He said, pretending to be irritated.

But I knew he meant to be joking, so I smiled.

"You deserve it." I nodded at his injury.

And then, he smiled back.

I didn't know why at that moment it just felt so light to be talking to him like that although I knew it was a mistake. Being friendly one moment and then repelling someone the next time wouldn't make me a better person. It just exhausted me to the brim. That while I was talking to Sehun like that, I was wondering what to do next.

The last time we talked, I had swept his sentiments under a rug. But then today, it was like he had swept the questions he should have asked me under his bed. It didn't make sense why he wasn't prying. But I was thinking, perhaps he was being considerate. He knew I might not be comfortable telling him why I wasn't at school last week or why he saw me drinking some pills today. The thought really warmed me. And made me wonder what was running inside his head all this while.

"Earlier this morning," He started after a long pause. I tried my best to look attentive, although my mind was battling over why I was still listening to him. "The principal called my mother to his office. He told her about my poor grades and she really got mad towards me because she thought I was a real shame to the family. I was doing poorly and she might as well cut me off from schoo—"

"Why would she say that?" I was a little outraged after hearing what he had to say that I had interrupted him.

He had a look of surprise when he gazed at me, but hid it—albeit not too quickly that I still noticed. Looking down on his lap, he said, "My mother has always been like that. Even my father too. They all doted on my older brother, and I'm probably the stupidest in the family that perhaps my poor grades only amplified her annoyance towards me." He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. But I could tell, by the way he looked, he was as well very affected by his mother's attitude towards him.

I wanted to give him a short hug then, but I reminded myself not to be overly friendly or else I might as well lose my bearing. I might as well as easily forgive him, embrace him, reconsider our standing.

Instead, I said, "I'm sorry to hear that." I thought it was all I could offer. But then, I already spoke the words out before I even understood what I had said. "But I pity your mother. She doesn't really know your true value."

I didn't want to badmouth his parents, his mom to be specific—because I would never be able to change the fact that he’s her son and she raised him; and I certainly knew the feeling of what it was like for someone to say something not so nice to my family at times that I already hate them, but I was having a hard time trying to defend her either.

She had been the kind of mother that you would usually see in every drama with a love story between her son and this girl, this nobody; and as cliché as it sounded she was, like them, a total villain in what had been ours. Mine and Sehun’s. Since the very first time we met, I knew she was going to be a tough challenge. Because I saw the way she looked at me like she was totally repulsed, and I knew I immediately disliked her. But for some reason, though most were bound to have this need to conquer their boyfriends’ very sour mothers, I hardly made an effort for her to like me. My mom was the only one who even tried putting up with her attitude.

Sehun was a good son, I believed. Despite his flaws, I appreciated his effort to always make it up to those people around him, especially them—though, it seemed to me, that his efforts were only one sided and it always didn’t seem like it even reached up to their expectations. But the hell with that. It seemed to me that they didn’t even know how to appreciate anyone. What more with this son of theirs?

I truly wanted to feel sorry for him, but then I remembered how he fought his own battles. How he always tried to overcome his own flaws and exceed their expectations. At first, I didn’t understand why he worked so hard before, but now that I was looking at him closely and heard his own sentiments I realized he was just the same with everyone else struggling to find a place of their own in this world. He just wanted to prove that he could also do what others can. And it did make me feel so proud of him now, although I would never in a million years let him hear me say it to him.

Chuckling bitterly, he said, "I didn't think you'd be brazen enough to say that about my mother."

"Well, I'm sorry if it offended you."

"Oh no," he waved his hands dismissively, still laughing, "in fact, I felt better you said that about her. No one ever said that about her. And they do always just tried comforting me, saying that she was just like that because mom loved me, but then—"

"You know to yourself that you don't really need their sympathy." I finished for him.

Smiling, he said, "yeah."

It was only then I realized, he needed not sympathy but truth. And I gave him what he actually wanted to hear. The thought of it really made me blush. Doing one good deed was already flustering, but this? To think I even said something nice to my supposedly nemesis?

I cleared my throat, trying to calm down. "Just remember that even if she will not ever see your value, you do not need to prove yourself to her or to anybody. Just do what you think you love doing." I told him, not even recognizing anymore what I was spitting out.

"Is that how your parents taught you?" He asked curiously.

I shook my head, smiling "My parents taught me a lot of good things. But not this one.” I took a pause, and told him, “I taught myself my own freedom. Because when you’re the child being neglected most of the time, you’ll have a lot of it, all you need to learn is how to fly and when you’re already up there,” I pointed at the ceiling, wanting him to see beyond the concrete, the building shielding us from the outside—from the sky, “you teach yourself how to remain afloat. You teach yourself how to be happy.”

“Wow.” He uttered, wide-eyed and smiling. “That’s something deep and inspiring coming from you.”

I shrugged. "I guess so. But I think my parents—because they allowed me to have this freedom…because they just allowed me to fail and stand up on my own, that I probably made it.”

"You're lucky then, I guess." He said, yawning. "You have good parents."

I nodded in agreement. "Yours are just lacking." I said, "but there are other people around you that value you a lot, so don't just depend on your parents’ opinion. You can always not listen, and do your own thing. Prove them nothing. Because you have nothing to prove anyone. You can just only challenge yourself to be better. You can just only give yourself what you deserve and be happy."

He had so much mirth on his face and gleam in his eyes that I wondered how cool I was while doing that speech. But then our little bubble popped as soon as the door to the infirmary slipped open and Jinah came strutting in. She looked so worried and flustered that I wondered how much blind Sehun was not to see the admiration she had for him. Or was it just me who noticed how much she liked him? Could people be as much stupid as Sehun?

"Are you okay? Does it hurt—oh no, no, I'm sorry." She kept saying after attempting to touch Sehun's injury.

I watched them intently. Jinah made sure Sehun didn't have any more injuries. The boy insisted he was just fine, and he did it with much vexation towards her. It was so obvious how much she frowned with the way he was treating her, and yet Sehun was oblivious. Terribly oblivious. Too dense, I might add.

"Soo," I cocked my head to the direction of the voice and perked up when I saw Jongin entering the infirmary.

He adjusted his faux glasses when he noticed the fuss going on at the bed closest to me. I stood up and met him halfway, all the while forgetting that Sehun and Jinah were still there.

"Are we going home now?" I asked him excitedly. "but wait, perhaps we can drop by at Mrs. Im's to eat? I'm quite hungry." I babbled, rubbing my hand in circles on my stomach.

He dragged his gaze down at me and smiled. "do you want to? Baekhyun and the others are actually waiting. Perhaps we can go with them."

I beamed wider, nodding enthusiastically. "I'm sure though that if you will call my mother now and tell her we'd be going home a little later, she wouldn't be mad at me when I get home."

He frowned when he heard this, then grumbled as he reluctantly fumbled for his phone in his pocket. "Wait here, I'll just make the call." I grinned victoriously at him as he retreated outside.

I was about to follow him out of the room, but then Sehun called, halting me on my steps. I turned around, noticed first how Jinah was glaring at me, and then saw again the gleam in Sehun's eyes.

"Is there a chance I can join you on your meal?"

"But—"

"You had asked me before, but I refused. And now, I'm wondering if the offer still stands." He said, his voice filled with hopeful anticipation.

I looked away, sighing; wondering how was I even to refuse such request when we just had that very friendly conversation. I had willfully talked to him and let him confide with me even though it was contradictory to what I had told him a week before.

Would a meal with him hurt? I asked myself.

Arriving at Mrs. Im's restaurant later that afternoon, I realized how wrong my decision was.

First, we were crowding around two tables put together. Second, I could tell how awkward it was for my friends to be eating a meal with Sehun and three of his friends again. Third, Minjee and Hana kept kicking my feet under the table, prodding me to explain how the arrangement came to be.

I was so damned that I could only be thankful that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were being civil towards them. Jongin, though, was another story. He kept silent most of the time, and only talked to me when I started a conversation with him.

For example, when I asked him if he could have half of my chicken since I was already full, he just said, "okay," then transferred it from my plate to his without even complaining first.

When I tried to talk about our assignments, he absently told me that I could borrow his if I'd want to—which was very generous of him, but unusual (since he seldom let me borrow them, in truth).

Then, in the middle of my long monologue, I noticed the sauce on the side of his lips and told him about it. "You have—" I was to say, wiping the stain with my thumb and then absently my thumb clean. “There.” I grinned like a proud mother, seeing his face clear again.

Looking up, I noticed the strange looks being given to me. I shifted my attention to Hana and Minjee to ask why everyone was looking at me like that, but then they were just grinning at me—like teasing. I shook my head at them, not comprehending what I even did to be the center of their attention, until I realized what I just did.

Automatically, I turned my head at Jongin, but as odd as his behavior was before, he looked like he was finally loosening up now. He ate his food with this certain mirth in his movements and expression, he looked at me every now and then with a smile.

Again, I shook my head, wondering what made him be like that. Then out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Sehun. He had a guarded expression as he ate. Jinah was beside him, filling his plate with her own food.

Minjee kicked me under the table again. I almost scowled at her when I looked up, but then she was laughing silently as she mouthed, 'look at that girl acting like his girlfriend.'

I shook my head at her, asking her not to meddle with their business. I was quite aware of how Jinah had been acting since I willingly forfeited in our game when I socked Sehun. And believe it or not—surprising for me too—her sudden takeover didn't bother me that much. I just wished she wouldn't hurt herself in the end.

"Hey wait, you got an A in math last time, right?" Minjee asked me. The boys were out helping Mrs. Im carry inside some of their supplies for the restaurant.

I nodded nonchalantly, yawning in boredom. "Yeah, I think so. Why'd you ask?"

"I was just wondering if you can actually teach Hana and I. I mean, we hardly understood what that old math teacher taught us. Perhaps you could actually help?"

"Me?" I couldn't give her but an expression of disbelief since I would have never thought in my whole life that my friends would one day seek for my help in terms of math. Math! You hear me?!

She clasped her hands together, and looked at me as if I could be her only hope with math. "Yeah. Please? Please?"

"But why not ask Jongin?"

At this, she frowned and said, "he hates the job of teaching us so we can only rely on you now."

"But I'm not smart." If I was not being nice, I would have smacked Jinah on the face when she actually laughed at me. Instead, I ignored her.

"If As on your test paper and assignments can't mean you’re smart, then what?"

The same moment she had said this, the boys were slowly filling the empty seats around the table again. I flushed when they stared intently at me, looking back and forth at the three of us with curious looks on their faces.

"Who got As?" Chanyeol asked, his round eyes peering back and forth at Minjee and I.

Minjee, smug to a fault, said, "Our Soori here, surprisingly, she started excelling in almost all her subjects, you see." She ended her speech with a bat of her eyelashes and motioned at me.

Chanyeol, pleasantly surprised, dragged his gaze at me with a huge grin. "Really? Is that true?"

I was about to answer with a quick denial, but then Hana had beaten me into doing the task. "That's much in itself true. In fact she's about to extend her kindness to us and tutor us for the upcoming preliminaries." I gritted my teeth when I realized what they were trying to do.

"Wow." Luhan leaned on the table, beaming at me, "perchance is there a possibility you can actually accommodate more students songsaengnim?"

"But I—"

"Yeah! I really think this is a great idea! Since the preliminaries are coming in about a month, maybe you can teach us? Me, Luhan and Sehun along with them?" Chanyeol added with great enthusiasm in his voice.

I stared at them, long and hard. Suddenly, I was about to have five people under my care in this stupid idea that Minjee and Hana started.

Hesitantly, I ans