Your P.O.V

10 days passed. Crying. That's what I'm doing the most this past 10 days. I reach for my phone, open the contacts, ..Dongwoo. Should I call him? Text him? He looks serious about that, and one more thing, He's Hoya's friend. Real close friend. Just like a brother. He might know something..about Hoya's reason for breaking-up with me. I push the call button. ....damn. It's out of reach. Look..It's raining.

--------flashback-------

It's raining, I hear the sound of rain falling. I stare at Hoya, who is across, sitting. Reading books, wait. Ready MY books. Seriously. He usually go outside when It's raining, luckily, this time, he doesn't. He put the books away, staring at the window. He is sliding the door, wait. My prediction fails this time. He steps outside.

"Hoya!! Ya!! Come in. It's raining!" It's raining outside, Hoya, seriously. Troublesome. He always stays outside when it's raining, I know how much he loves, well, no, enjoy the rain. He just sits there, staring at the sky, smiling. See, he enjoys it so much. so damn much. He knows he'll get sick when he stays too long on rain, but he still do it. "Hoya, seriously, you'll get sick. You're soo troublesome. You hear me?" I feel like his mom rather than his girlfriend now. I wonder why he always smiles when it's raining. Memories? maybe. Well, I think rain is beautiful. I love it too, but not as much as him.

I stand behind him, "Hoya,". He turns his head to me, "I'll if you join me." He smiles. His smile is deathly, sigh. I sit beside him, he embraces me. He seldom embraces me. Cuddling. "Honey," I stare at him, I'm surprised. Kinda. It's the first time he calls me that way. He my hair, "I guess you know how much I love rain," I stare at him, "Yeah, I know about that. Is that the reason why you're not coming in?" I'm not getting annoyed, really. I'm just asking, in a not really nice way. "It's not about that. I just..I want to spend it with a person i love." I stare into his eyes, He's serious. "I guess you know what I mean." He smiles to me.

I know what he means, spending the rain with me. For this time, I won't care about getting sick. I stay outside, cuddling, I feel warm. I don't want to lose him. I'm not alone anymore since I meet him. I'm afraid.. of the future. Will he stays here with me or he's with another? I don't want to think about that. We stare at each other, His face is getting closer to mine.

Our lips met.

Everything is suddenly beautiful.

--------end of flashback---------

Rain, it reminds me everything about Hoya. Our beautiful moments. Kissing in the rain.

I'm afraid of reality.

I want to rewind time.

I just want to know the reason why.

I decided to call Dongwoo, again.

Again, it's out of reach. I walk toward the window.

The rain almost stops, I can see the sun. I open the window, breathing the fresh air. I hate rain, not for itself, but for the memories behind it.

I miss staying outside. The weather is nice, I decided to go outside, just for a while.

I take my purple coat, step outside. I miss everything, chirping birds, sunshine, warm weather, fresh air, kids playing, and.. walking with Hoya. For sure.

I pass a kid, I smile to him. He stares at me, confused. "Mommy," He pulls his mom finger,"Is that a ghost?". I scare him? Sigh. Well, I look like one.

If i can rewind time, I want to be a kid again. When I'm not afraid of reality and the future, when I'm only scared of ghost. Not thinking about the past, enjoying the present. Smiling, no matter what. Afraid of the death, not waiting for the death. Worrying nothing.

I walk carelessly. I bump into a guy, "Watch your steps" He said in a cold tone. "I'm sor..ry, are you o..?" He's not a stranger. I can't even finish my words. I know him.