YOUR P.O.V

Im Yoon __________ . Me? Im just an ordinary girl. Not much or less. I ain’t strong, I experienced heartbreak, dumped, replaced, unrespected, throwed. This may be something which are not usual for you, but for me, its sort of the reason why i was born. To be hurted. I would love to suicide, if suiciding is not a sin.

Well, I have an ex-boyfriend. Just call him, Hoya.  Im still in love with him. I hate him, I just can’t…let go of him. I can’t even see him with another girl.

——flashback——

”_______-ah..we need a talk” Hoya comes to me, “just..meet me at the park later at 4, and…….” “WAIT” i cut, “There’s nobody here, why can’t we just talk here?” “But….” he pauses. “But what hoya?” I said sarcastically. “Nevermind.. just meet me at 4. This is..important..it’s…..a..bout our..” “Relationship?” I continue his sentence, “Hoya, you can’t even smoothly complete your sentence” “Yes..but..don’t talk about ‘you can’t even finish your sentence smoothly’.” He said it with a high-pitch, “It’s not the right time for it.” “Okay..” I smiled, “But maybe.. a little bit late? Im kinda busy.” It’s not something new for Hoya to hear “Im busy” from me. Im always busy with my projects. He just leave.

Park, 4:25 PM

“I’m sorry…I’m.. 25 minutes late?” I smiled like there’s nothing bad happening next. As usual, Hoya just sigh. He’s never mad at me. except on our first date. “Well…I already make this decision..” Hoya said with some kind of..guilty face? “I think its better for us for not seeing each other anymore” I was shocked. Extremely. Shocked.Scared. Sad. “A..are you s..serious?” I almost cry. I never cry when I’m hurt before. But this time, Im crying. It gives me a massive heartbreak. “Yes, I’m serious.” He said with a serious face. “Wh-wha-what do you mean, Hoya? please..explain me.. is there..something wrong with me..? Tell me,please.. i beg you.” tears start to fall from my eyes. “There’s nothing to explain anymore, our relationship is over.” he turns away, I pull his hand, hold it tightly, “Please..do-dont..l…leave me..”. He stares at me for a while, he pulls his hand harshly, “Our relationship is over. It’s really over now. Please, don’t ever talk to me again.” He left….It starts to rain. I begin to cry. I’m hopeless. He is like.. the only person, who cares about me.

———-end of flashback————

It happened like..3 days ago. But it felt like years for me. I have no hope. I have nothing. I have nobody. I’m alone. There’s a lot of people around me, but no, I’m alone. I’m very lonely. In this crowded bar, I’m alone. Nobody cares about my existence. When i see people around me, I envy them. They have somebody, who cares about them, who understand them, who they trust. Just look now, there’s a lot of people around me, some of them are lovers, best friend. They’re laughing. They’re happy. Sometimes, I hope I was them. Like..now. I stare outside the window, It’s raining. I drink my last glass of beer, I want to die. I have nothing in this world. Why am I born? Im a useless human. I want to escape from this world, somewhere, where I’m really alone. Not like in this earth, where there’s a lot of people around me, but I still feel lonely somehow. I’m not drunk yet, perhaps another shoot of beer can make me drunk? I want to escape awhile from this cruel world. I ordered another shoot, I take some cigarettes.

Don’t lecture on me, people, please, people. Cigarettes, Alcohol, that would be my everyday consumption from now on. That’s my only way to try to enjoy life, utilize my loneliness and make my ‘escaping this world’ process faster. I guess you know what i mean. Nobody would even care about me, if I die right? Suicide? No. It’s a sin. I just do something to make me die faster, not a suicide. I take another piece of cigarette, It’s my third piece of cigarette. …Wait, I see somebody who is kinda familiar….wait….that person…is related to hoya. His older brother? No. wait…a..second. That’s… “Hey, how are you, loner?” That person said. I know his eyes. He is Jang Dongwoo…. “Lonelier now? Cigarettes? Alcohol? I guess you’re needing somebody who will hear every each of your problem right now.” He said smiling.

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This is my first fanfic, sobs :'D and.. please mind if there is any grammar error. I'm not a native speaker kkkk ^^;; thanks for reading~ :D