“Lonelier now? Cigarettes? Alcohol? I guess you’re needing somebody who will hear every each of your problem right now.” I smiled. I know this girl, she is Hoya’s ex. Hoya told me about her.And yes, I know exactly what happened. they broke-up. She just stares at me, she doesn’t even say a single word. “Nobody’s here? can I join you?” I said with a friendly smile. perhaps it will makes her feel im harmless. well, I am. She nods, I mean. Do I even look scary? Do I scare her? Is there something wrong with me? “So, you’re Jang…….” she said slowly. “Dongwoo.” I smiled, again. I stares at the table…3 glasses of alcohol. 1 glass of wine. 1 pack of cigarettes. “You’re a drinker?” I’m so curious. Is she? “Nope, basically, no.” The way she answers my question, I know, She is a cold person. Not because she is really one of them. It’s…I know she is a loner. She rarely feel what is love. What is friendship. She isn’t a loner too, its just, the people around her. “Then what’s your reason for drinking?” I smiled, again. “Look”, finally. She speaks. I mean. She’s about to speak.

“Don’t act like you don’t know, Mr. Jang, I’m sure you know about “that”, that’s the reason why i’m drinking, don’t ever ask me about it again. and….” She said in cold tone. Narrowing her eyes, “Now, just please, excuse me, I have to go. Have your time” She takes her bag, she’s about to go. “Wait, I know, what’s happening”, she stares at me, “Why would you even talk about that?”. “Whaa—? I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” “Why would you even talk about..well, the problem between me, and your friend? Why do you even talk to me?”, she says in a really, curious, really really curious tone.  “I would tell you, if, you stay here.” grinning. It’s the only way, that can make her stays here, and tell pretty much everything.

She sits in front of me. I can describe how she looks like in one word, ghostly. Pale skin, gray eyes, pale pink lips, straight black hair with bangs that almost close her eyes. “So..um..” , I take some cigarettes. “Wait,” she pauses me, “You smoke?” “Yep. Why?” Nobody ever asked why I smoke, until now. “Why did you smoke? You know, it makes you die faster. In a not so smart words.” “I know about that, then, why are you smoking?”, I cut her. “I’m just doing something, which makes my ‘escaping from this world’ process, faster.” she smiles delicately and she sighs. I understand what she means. death.

Your P.O.V

I bet he doesn’t know what I mean. Well, nobody is. Maybe. “I understand,” he pauses, I’m..surprised. Have he ever felt like me? Have he ever thought about suicide? or..”See, you’re not alone in this world, and if you die..I’m sure, there must be someone, who is crying over your death. What about your parents? they will…” “No,” I’m really alone in this world. please, “My parents… they are gone, and they will never come back.” I continued. “What about your siblings or friends?” “Dongwoo, seriously. I’m alone in this world, I have nobody. Even if I die, nobody would even care about it,” I pauses for a while, “There’s no use for me living in this world. I have no reason for staying alive.”

“Look, I know,” he stares at my eyes, “losing someone you love, it hurts. I’ve experienced it. I also thought about suicide too that time.” I’m just sitting there. listening to him. nobody would ever talk to me. this might be my last conversation, I might not get tomorrow.  “When you lose someone, You will meet someone who is, better.” He smiles, again, but not with that big smile which his teeth shows like before. “I’m just tired about that words.” Let me tell one more thing about me, I can’t help being honest. “What?” He looks confused, “That when we lose someone, we will meet someone who is better than them” I said, Yes, I’m really tired about it. “When I lose someone, no, I don’t get somebody who is better than them, there is no use for telling me that.” I keep thinking why do people keep saying that, when the fact they didn’t get someone who is better than the one who leaves them. “Well, I think its not the right time yet,” He sighs, “But, I’m sure you will have someone.” he said in a serious tone. “Jang Dongwoo, You know nothing about me, I have nobody. How many times do I have to tell you?” He drinks his last shoot of martini.

“You have me.”  “WHAT? What do you mean?” My eyes grow bigger, “You have me, you’re not alone,” he takes some paper and write..numbers? “Here, my phone number. Just call me” he looks at his watch, “It’s almost dawn, You’re not going home?” I take that paper.  “um..I’m going home..thanks for the time..um…” He left already, I leave that bar. Walking myself home. It’s raining just like the day when Hoya left me.