{13}

Soah’s eyelids fluttered open as she sensed that her surroundings were gradually getting brighter, which didn’t seem right at all. Vampires and sunlight didn’t go together.

She blinked a several times to get her eyes in focus. Her eyes shifted to the source of light; the curtains covering the window, that stood tall beside her, weren’t drawn properly.

Her line of vision followed the direction of the sunlight shining into the room and her eyes caught sight of a male with black hair.

Daehyun. It was as though only after Soah caught sight of him that she finally acknowledge the familiar steady thump of energy flowing through her. I guess I’m already used to this.

She took a closer look at him and realized that their hands were intertwined and Daehyun was sleeping in a very uncomfortable position. But it wasn’t that that made Soah panicked.

“Daehyun!” Soah shook their hands, which were intertwined, trying to wake him up.

Daehyun was sleeping directly under the sun’s rays that successfully invaded the room and his skin was gradually turning from petal pink to a darker shade of pink.

“Hyun!” Soah tried again, raising her voice and successfully jolting Daehyun out of his sleep this time round.

“Ah!” Daehyun hissed, getting up on his feet immediately, rushing over to the window and drawing the curtains properly.

Daehyun sighed, his hand still holding the part of his face that got scalded by the sun. His eyes slowly travelled from the ground and up to the bed where Soah lied.

Only when he saw her biting down on her lower lip, trying to suppress a laugh, that he realized that she was awake.

Daehyun cleared his throat, brushing a hand through his hair, as he made his way back to the chair he occupied a moment ago awkwardly.

“How are you feeling?” Daehyun asked, brushing a stray hair out of Soah’s face.

There was nothing else but tenderness and care laced in Daehyun’s voice.

“Feeling like a fish out of water.” Soah joked, earning a soft smile from Daehyun.

Soah gazed at him, thinking about how perfect he looked with that smile gracing his face.

Her eyes fleeted upwards to his, not expecting his pair of eyes to be staring back at her own.

Right at that moment, the energy they felt flared up, coursing through their entire beings at a fired up pace. The both of them were silent but they felt it. They felt the bond that was far stronger than any bonds they have felt previously. It was even stronger than the parabatai bond Daehyun shared with Youngjae.

“I thought I lost you too, Soulmate.” There was a surprising amount of pain in Daehyun’s voice.

They said that the eyes were windows to the soul, if that was true, then Daehyun’s soul was vast and filled with so much pain.

“Well, I guess it will take a lot more to take my life.”

Daehyun snorted, images of Soah lying motionless in front of the pile of rocks and in his arms flashed through his mind. Soah, with her shallow breathing and slow heartbeat, her body stone cold and emptied of the warmth that he loved. He was absolutely sure that he didn’t want to know exactly how much more did it require ending Soah’s life.

Soah must have saw the fear and pain that coursed through Daehyun’s expression as she hurriedly added on, “I don’t mean that, I’m sorry. It must have been hard on you yesterday.”

“Three days ago,” Daehyun corrected, “You were out for three days.”

“And you’ve been sleeping here for the past three days?”

“Yes, that’s what he did.” Youngjae, who appeared by the door of the room seemingly out of nowhere, answered Soah’s question in place of Daehyun.

Soah watched as annoyance pulled Daehyun’s brows together as he turned towards the door, where Youngjae stood.

“What do you want now?” Daehyun asked, obviously annoyed.

“You. I mean, not in that way,” Youngjae hurriedly clarified, raising his hands up. “I need to talk to you.”

Both Soah and Daehyun could tell that it was serious with the change in Youngjae’s voice. All traces of playfulness were gone from his voice.

Daehyun nodded and Youngjae exited the room, leaving the door open for Daehyun.

Daehyun let out a soft sigh and got up on his feet. Before leaving, he bent down, placing a soft kiss on Soah’s forehead.

“Rest well, Soulmate. I’ll be back soon and don’t think about moving around.” Daehyun warned, narrowing his eyes at Soah.

Soah chuckled and nodded, watching as Daehyun walked out of the room.

“So, what is it?” Daehyun asked as he strode into his study room, shutting the door behind him.

“Was it you?”

Daehyun blinked at him while taking a seat at one of the couches in the room. “What do you mean by that?”

“The murders of those OtherWorld political figures that led up to the outbreak of chaos, was it you?”

Daehyun’s lips thinned in displeasure. “What do you think?”

Youngjae shrugged. “I’ve no idea, Daehyun. After knowing that you were responsible of the first few murders, I honestly have no idea of what you’re really capable of doing now.”

Daehyun was silent, his gaze fixed on the ground.

“Does Soah know?”

“It wasn’t me.” Daehyun said softly. Daehyun spoke in such a soft voice that Youngjae would have missed it if the room wasn’t untouched by all other noises.

“What do you mean?” Youngjae’s brows were furrowed in confusion.

Letting out a soft sigh, Daehyun said, “That night that you confronted me before we lost contact for a month, I stopped issuing out commands to kill a week before that. The murders that happened subsequently, those that led up to the outbreak of panic out there now, those blood aren’t on my hands.”

“What!?” Youngjae exclaimed, throwing his hands up into the air. “After all the times I’ve accused you and all those hurtful words I’ve hurled at you, you only tell me this now?” Youngjae stared at his parabatai in pure shock.

Daehyun answered with a small shrug of his shoulders.

“I felt like I deserved it. The first two murders, the two OtherWorlds that held important political roles, my hands are indeed stained with their blood.” Daehyun added on a while later, gazing at his open palms.

Daehyun lifted his head up at the unusual silence that fell between the both of them. Youngjae always had a good comeback; he always had the last word.

“You’ve something to tell me, don’t you?” Daehyun said carefully, studying Youngjae’s troubled expression.

“For those two murders, they weren’t the only ones who died, their family was killed too.”

Youngjae watched as the expression on Daehyun’s face morphed into one filled with immense pain and guilt. Daehyun shifted his eyes, meeting Youngjae’s.

Pain, guilt, regret, self-hatred, sadness and anger fought each other fiercely in Daehyun’s eyes.

Daehyun averted his eyes a moment later, shifting his focus to the ground later. He couldn’t look into his parabatai’s eyes, for he was no different than those who killed his family. He was a murderer. He took away innocent lives.

“Daehyun-“

Before Youngjae could finish his sentence, Daehyun interrupted him. “Do you have anything else that you want to ask me?”

Daehyun couldn’t hide the tremors in his voice. Youngjae could tell that his parabatai was in turmoil.  

“Did you see the face of Soah’s attacker?”

Daehyun shook his head. “I could tell that Soah required immediate medical attention so I couldn’t waste any time going after him.”

Youngjae nodded, knowing that further probing will make Daehyun feel even worse. “That’s all.”

With that, Daehyun got up and exited the room without uttering a single word.

Youngjae sighed and walked towards the window that overlooked the city in Daehyun’s room.

He smiled, taking in the night-lights. This window was the reason that Daehyun was so adamant about wanting to occupy this room.

He gazed out of the windows, his eyes faraway. This house was once filled with laughter, warmth and happiness.

Would it be possible to have that back again?

Images of that night where he accused Daehyun, in this same room, of being unable to get over his family’s death flashed through Youngjae’s mind. He leaned his upper right arm on the glass, sighing heavily.

He clearly saw hate, anger and vengeance in Daehyun’s eyes but it was all a pretense and he only realized it now. The night where Daehyun was drinking, was he really celebrating? Youngjae doubted it.

Youngjae leaned his forehead against his outstretched arm, another sigh escaping from his lips. He had wounded his parabatai and the wounds weren’t physical, it was emotional. And emotional wounds were the most dangerous.

Other parties couldn’t see it, only those whom the wounds were inflicted upon knew the true extent of the pain the wounds had brought upon. And those wounds took the longest time to heal. Even though they may heal in the future, it leaves behind an ugly scar that wouldn’t go away no matter how much time has passed.

Time only numbs the pain and does nothing to erase the fact that the wound has been inflicted. 

I'm sorry, Daehyunnie.