Life lesson #2: Can’t avoid someone forever.

End of November 2016, near exam

                  “You said I could knock anytime,” I hastily said, when Luhan opened the door after the third knocks. He just finished bathing; his disheveled wet hair was hidden under the green towel, water still dripping from his long lashes. There were marks on his light blue shirt. Even in cold November air, he wore short pants.

                  “Why, yes, of course. I was beginning to lose hope that you would ever knock after our encounter a few weeks ago,” Luhan sarcastically remarked, and he turned side ways to let me in. I grunted, muttering the exact time we last saw each other; a month ago, as I had counted perfectly.

                  “Trust me, this isn’t my first choice, either,” I mumbled lowly so that he wouldn’t hear, but Luhan seemed psychic enough to guess what I was saying, so he threw me a sharp, accusing glare that shut me up immediately.

                  His room was much neater than mine. The mirror was spotlessly clean. The sink was clearly brushed at least once a week. The chair was clean; the table was organized into sections of stationary and books. His bed was made, blanket folded. And best thing yet, he had a large stock of chocolate and snacks.

                  “Your chocolate collection is amazing, by the way,” I complimented and went through every single brand there was. He piled them neatly on one of his bookshelves. Luhan chuckled and sat on the couch, watching my moves in a fatherly gaze. “Thanks. You can take anything you want.”

                  I looked at him as if he was a saint. “No way, Luhan. These are from China, and Korea and Japan… They are not imported. I’m sure it would’ve costed you a lot.”

                  “It doesn’t matter much. I’m going back for Christmas break, I can always buy more,” He said so smoothly as he always did. I took one box from my favorite Japanese brand and opened the seal. There was no going back. Chocolate had always been my guilty pleasure. I popped one milk chocolate and let the extreme sweetness lingered on my tongue. Sehun loves chocolate, too…

                  “So… What brings you here? All of a sudden?”

                  I pretended to be very interested with his walls, but my chewing slowed down. “I just refused a friend’s offer to go out and I need a reason to stay back.”

                  Luhan didn’t give a reply for a while. His right hand was holding an opened book that he wasn’t really reading while his left was busy fondling his silver iPhone. I was distracted by the sudden silence and turned around, watching him with curiosity. He sat quirkily, one of his legs up and the other down, and he leaned to the right side, his head tilted attractively.

                  “Seulgi will be very disappointed,” He said, just as a new beep rang from his phone. He smiled and waved it at me. “She is asking me if I want to go somewhere.”

                  Since Luhan didn’t seem like the tattletale type, I shrugged and asked him, popping more and more chocolates into my mouth. I swore living abroad had affected my appetite more or less. “And what will you tell her?”

                  He pondered on for a minute, and with a stare that borderline mischief and innocence, he retorted, as he would always do whenever I asked him questions, “Do you want me to tell her that we are spending some “quality” time together?”  

                  I looked at him like he just lost his head, and at that moment, I was pretty sure he really did, “Are you out of your mind? She is going to kill me.”

                  He just texted back without telling me. I narrowed my eyes and huffed in annoyance.

                  “You know Jongin? The tall, tan kid who always frowns?” Luhan suddenly asked.

                  “You don’t have to explain him that way, but yes, I know Kim Jongin,” I furrowed my eyebrows. His laptop was on the table, the small and thin type. He was definitely a man born to a rich family. Even his face was so aristocratic and well-defined. “Are you texting him or Seulgi?”  

                   “Both, but Jongin is coming and Seulgi is not,” He said it so easily. “You know Seulgi is trying to set the two of you up for a date, right?”

                  “Just because the two of us are the only singles in the group doesn’t mean that we will jump into any match-making opportunities, dude,” I had meant it well but it came out offensively. I wanted to take those words back, but then I remembered my New Year resolution and bit my tongue. “It’s awkward with Jongin now because we just can’t see each other that way. Not now, and possibly, not ever.” I rolled my eyes.

                  “That shouldn’t have stopped you from becoming friends,” Luhan raised a concrete point here and I was ashamed to admit that he was right. I had been successfully avoiding men in these two months. I wasn’t supposed to be proud, but I did. “Unless you have an Androphobia.”

                  I rolled my eyes again and snickered. That was by far, the most ridiculous accusation anyone had ever come up with. At least Seulgi knew I had dated before. “Yeah, Luhan, you’re right. I love women. I hate men. Great theory. Now go and knock yourself over the wall.”

                  He chortled and sniffed, “You’re always so defensive, Sara. It’s like you’re trying to push everyone away from you, which is… understandably weird. It is understandable, but it’s still weird. You are an attractive woman, if only you know how to socialize around.”

                  I felt the room’s temperature went down a few degrees when he said that. Usually I wouldn’t have taken serious offense, but after Sehun… Things were so different. Little reminder like this hurt. “I don’t date, Luhan. Stop being pushy like Seulgi.”

                  He threw his hands up in surrender, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I will try again another time.”

                  I gave him a playful glare and shook my head. He was impossible to hate. In a way, he reminded me of a fictional character from my favorite novel; a bit pretentious, but utterly charming in an unusual way. He was so easy to like. How could I hate on him? I racked my brain for that. “And what are we going to do today?”

                  “Netflix and chill,” He replied.

                  I gave him a very pointy stare.

                  “Literally, geez. We are not having in my room,” Luhan laughed and threw a pillow at me, “Clean your dirty mind, woman!”

                  “Sure, . Everyone would’ve misunderstood because that’s not how you use the phrase in a sentence, and definitely, not as an answer to my innocent question!” I threw back the pillow with full force. He cackled and leaned down to pick up the cushion from the floor.

                  “Oh, he is coming,” Luhan said, “I’m going down to pick him up.”

                  I watched as he closed the door. Unlike my previous accommodation, this was so much bigger. Bigger bed for two to three people at most, which meant more space to cuddle and sleep (I remembered how Sehun wished the bed was bigger so we could sleep comfortably. You might think smaller bed meant spooning each other lovingly, think again. It was small and uncomfortable and sometimes you fought over spaces on the bed unconsciously). Bigger wardrobe to store all those thick furry winter clothes in, because a small one wouldn’t fit all. Life was actually much better here, considering that I liked peaceful, less-crowded city with friendly people.

                  “Seulgi just went to the airport. Her boyfriend came all the way from another side,” Jongin’s voice quietly and slowly told Luhan what happened. “So I ditched her because you said you have better plans.”

                  I raised my head from the empty chocolate box. When did Luhan have a plan?

                  “Yeah, that plan is called…” Luhan opened the door and I ducked my curious head back down, “Netflix and…”

                  “Hush, Luhan. I told you not to say that!” I tried to silence him, but it ultimately revealed my presence to Jongin. He came in, a bit skeptical, throwing both of us weird glances as he hang the coats on the wall. “What are you doing here… with, uh…”

                  “I invited her since she lives upstairs,” Luhan smoothly told Jongin part of the truth. He gave me a tight smile, “Sara would cook while we prepare the… bed and the movie. Wouldn’t you, Dear?”

                  I gave him an ugly sneer. I didn’t expect to be treated like an outsider and a slave on my first day here. What a great start to friendship! “Sure, I swear I will burn your kitchen down. What do you have on the fridge?”

                  “Chicken and pork. And wine, if you want to use that. Cheese, please put lots of them. And ham, bacon, a bit of Chinese cabbage, mushroom. Take whatever you want. You are the woman,” Luhan shrugged as he led me to the kitchen down the hallway. It was inexplicably clean, just like his room. I became a bit scared that my flimsy cooking skill would ruin the kitchen for real.

                  “Okay, now hush. This woman needs to work,” I waved him away, but he went for one minute and came back with Kim Jongin. I was never comfortable being watched when I cooked, with the exception of Sehun, who occasionally came to my dorm and ate dinner with me.

                  “How good are you in cooking?” Luhan asked, and I pondered the question while cutting the vegetables, “3 out of 10. I will poison you with my food.”

                  Jongin bit back laughter, but I could see that our small banter had amused him so much that his eyes turned crescent-shaped, and his lips pressed into a curvy line. I stopped cutting for a while because I could’ve cut my fingers with the knife. There would be no ing way I would admit that I just had my breath taken by the beauty of his smile. Nope. No way.

                  “I don’t die easily, Kim Sara,” Luhan smirked and waltzed around the kitchen in a bossy manner, “You can try me.”

                  I shrugged and continued to cook. Luhan would sometimes help with the frying pan while Jongin washed the used plates. Slowly, very, very slowly, Luhan worked his magic and even I, loosened up and heartily laughed at his corny jokes. He was truly one of a kind. The presence of him could brighten up a room and calm an anxious person. There was never a dull moment with him, and not once did he leave Jongin out of the picture. The ice slowly melted around us, and I no longer felt awkward with the two of them.

                  “Oh, you are surprisingly good,” Came one of the rarest moments when Jongin uttered praise. As he was Korean, and a very quiet one like Sehun, I knew how hard it was to bail out a compliment from his mouth. My heart warmed up at the thought of that. The first guy I ever cooked for was Oh Sehun, and he refused to eat my very first cooking – a soy-sauced mushroom-egg – because it tasted funny. Ever since then, I worked hard to improve my cooking skill, and I only had a few chances to show him my improvements until I moved away.

                  Luhan’s smile as he gazed at me softly was one of the few ones I would remember for a long time.

                  For the first time since Sehun, I felt like I was home again.