A/N: Double updates: 014 and epilogue. Thank you for the comments! I hope you would enjoy the endings as much as I do. Happy reading.

Beijing, China, 9am

                  “Is anyone from your family coming today?” I craned my neck in the crowd as the three of us waited for the long immigration line. Compared to the China I visited five years before, it had thrived to become one of the most technologically advanced countries in Asia, rivaling that of Japan’s and Korea’s. I was fairly impressed by the fast development, and was even more surprised at the amount of tourists in the worker’s busiest month of the year.

                  “Ah, about that,” Luhan rubbed his nose shyly, as if he was embarrassed by something, “I don’t think my parents would come because they have a meeting in the afternoon. But they will probably send someone over. Oh, there it is! Uncle Li!”

                  Jongin looked around in a nonchalant manner, and even when he was dressed in a pair of worn out converse and dark blue jeans, he still attracted attention from the passerby. I gazed at him proudly, admiring how his skinny jaw had turned into stern lines of beautiful cheekbones. His eyes finally found their way back to me, his pupil dilating suspiciously.

                  “Stop staring,” He hissed and pulled down his beanie to cover at least half of his wavy bangs. He looked young and mature at the same time, and my heart swelled at the thought of him. He was still so shy of being stared at even when he unintentionally became the subject of female’s attention almost all of the time.

                  “Sorry, can’t seem to help it,” I cheekily smiled and went to catch up to Luhan. It was hard to guess Uncle Li’s age, but he was probably somewhere around fifty to sixty. Apparently, he had been the family chaveur since Luhan was a child, so he was obviously very delighted at the return of this grown up man in front of him.

                  “Uncle Li, I’m Sara, how do you do,” I bowed a bit and introduced myself.

                  His old, wise eyes brightly addressed me with a polite smile, “It’s the first time our young Master has brought a woman home. I hope you will like Beijing, Miss Sara.”

                  Luhan blushed a bit, and this moment was as rare as the sun eclipse. When he opened his mouth to say something, Jongin was already behind me, his expression confused and lost. Luhan immediately introduced him to Uncle Li as we got into the car.

                  “Where are my parents?” Luhan sat in the front, buckling his seatbelt and adjusted his seat. Uncle Li checked the rear mirror as he started the engine and sped off the toll. I leaned towards Jongin and closed my eyes.

                  Thirty minutes turned to one hour. I was shaken awake when we arrived. As I said before, I knew Luhan was rich, but for God’s sake, he owned a penthouse in the city center near the hospital his family owned. I gaped.

                  “Oh, there they are,” Luhan exclaimed, “Sara, Jongin, come meet my parents.”

                  The two of us went along with Luhan. He was not exactly a carbon copy of his parents, but I could see a fairly close resemblance to his mother who must have been a stunning beauty during her youth. She looked very motherly, smiling gently and courteously at the two of us that if we did not bow at them right now, I would feel very bad.

                  “Pa, Ma, this is Jongin and Sara,” Luhan hugged his mother tightly and winked at her. She pinched him on the waist and called him out for being too playful in front of his guests. Mr. Lu might look stern, but he softly gazed at the interaction between the mother and son, and the corner of his lips tugged up a little bit.

                  “Welcome to Beijing,” His father greeted us in a very formal tone. He extended handshakes to both of us. “I hope you will enjoy your stays here. Of course, you are welcome to stay for as long as you like to. But I do have to apologize because we’ve been extremely busy these few days. There is a new management system and we have to brief each department about it.”

                  “No worries, Mr. Lu. We wouldn’t want to cause you trouble,” I smiled at him and looked at Jongin. As usual, he was never good with words, so he just nodded and smiled at Mr. Lu.

                  “Don’t be so shy. You can call us ‘Uncle’ and ‘Auntie’,” Mrs. Lu grabbed my hand and led me away from Jongin. The five of us entered the lift that ascended all the way to the penthouse. They had three guest rooms in the lower level and two master bedrooms in the upper one. This meant that Jongin and I would be alone for the rest of our holiday in Beijing.

                  Fortunately, his house was huge, and they had a small swimming pool facing the balcony. Now I understood where those branded stuffs and imported products came from. Luhan was ing loaded. Life was not fair. He was good looking, smart, had a stable job, owned a fair share of the hospital, grew up in wealth and was good mannered. He was nearly flawless, though if I had to pinpoint out one thing Luhan wasn’t good at, there would be none.

                  “Do you like our house?” Luhan’s mother brought me to my guest room. It had a king-sized bed, and pinkish purple wall. The wind was blowing the glass window’s curtain until she closed it down. I could see the view of Beijing city from up here.

                  “Well, you have a wonderful house, Auntie Lu. How can I not like it?”

                  She patted my hands as we both sat down on the bed. “Ah, such a sweet mouth. Now I understand why Luhan loves you so much, you both are adorable.” 

                  I blushed fifty shades of red even though we both had nothing in reality. “Auntie, we are not together.”

                  “I know,” She smiled knowingly. Guilt rose up my chest and past my throat. I hated feeling like this, like I was not good enough for him or his affection. Of course, aside from our promise to get married to each other if we could not find a partner, he had never directly or properly confessed to me. Sometimes I wondered why when we both were aware of our feelings towards each other.

“It’s just that he is my son. I want the best for him and I can see that the two of you look good together. You might not know it, and he thought that we didn’t know, but he went back to London because of you,” She sighed and tilted her head so that when she talked, I would not be able to stare at her eyes directly. “Honestly, he never really begged us for anything, but that time after graduation…”

My mind flew back to the time he cried in front of me on my twenty-second birthday. It was not exactly a good memory, but without it, there would never be today.

“His father was so angry because he refused to come back to Beijing,” Auntie Lu softly explained it to me, but even without her words I understood what she wanted to say. “Luhan loves Beijing because this is his home, but as much as he loves it here, he still loves you more, so he returned to London to find you.”

I was rendered speechless and tears were starting to form in my eyes. Words choked on my throat, heart buried deep within pain and sorrow. Luhan was always good with words, but his words never expressed his feelings well. Most of the time, it was hard to guess what he was really thinking about.

“Do you know that this bracelet was especially made just for you?” She touched the diamond surface and the warmth of her skin burnt onto mine. I thought I had mastered the art of holding in, but a few small drops still escaped nonetheless. “That kid really, really loves you, Sara, so much that he would’ve given his world for you if you’d ever ask.”

“So please… Don’t break his heart.”

***

So here I was, alone. The taxi driver left long ago, but my feet still refused to move.

The address was correct. It was in this store that the bracelet that now rested on my wrist was made. Ever since he locked it on, it had never left my hand even once. This was how precious the bracelet was to me. However I was also scared to find out. I was scared to confront the truth.

                  “Ah, this product was made not long ago. 2016000700140. Please wait for a while. I will get the key for you,” The sales girl was very polite and nice. She spoke very basic Chinese to me so that I could understand. As she went to the back, a wave of nausea hit me. I wanted to vomit so badly.

                  “If you’d give me your hand, please,” She finally came. I lifted my hand weakly and let her do what she was supposed to do. Clang! The bracelet opened and I felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of me. The lady carefully placed the bracelet on the tray and smiled at me, “Ah, this customer has requested an English phrase. See here. It says…”

***

                  We only stayed in Beijing for three days because all three of us were called back to work immediately. We had taken too many off-days and the companies we worked at were surely missing us at the moment. Even Anne personally emailed me with a suggestive message that unless I came home with a boyfriend, she would disown me immediately. I could only laugh at her absurdity.

                  “Hey, Luhan, can we talk for a while?”

                  I was wearing shorts and T-shirts. The night had been eventful. We went to dine in a fancy buffet. Luhan drank glasses of champagne so his face was a bit red tonight. I invited him to the balcony where the nightlight was brightly radiant and illuminating. The drunken Jongin was soundly asleep so I had no worries that he would wake up soon enough to hear our conversation.

                  “What’s wrong?” He asked, reaching out to brush the bang away from my face. I stiffened at his touch and looked up at his beautiful, childlike face. His lips looked tempting and I said to him, whether it was under the influence of alcohol or not, I did not care, “Luhan, kiss me.”  

                  He was surprised, but the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. I felt a burst of feeling inside, because this was the first time he had kissed me. Unlike Jongin, Luhan’s kiss felt more fearful, as if he was afraid he would break me. Unlike Jongin, his kiss was his way of saying I love you, his fear that I would go away. Unlike Jongin…

                  I pulled away breathless.

                  “Luhan, you know I love you,” I reached out to touch his face. His eyes were suddenly hopeful, bright, filled with immense joy and happiness. And at that, I burst out crying, “I’m sorry, Luhan. I can’t love you more than a friend.”

                  His face fell, and from what seemed to be the happiest moment turned to despair.

                  “I tried… I’m sorry. Luhan, I’m so sorry,” I continued sobbing. Seeing the pain in his eyes and the hopeless tremble of his lips broke my heart over and over again. He was my bestest friend and I would do anything to make him happy. But he was not Kim Jongin. I would never see him the way I saw Jongin.

                  “Why…?” His whisper was a mutter more to himself rather than me. His voice cracked and I no longer saw the calm, composed Luhan that I knew. “I have done… everything just to make you happy…” He halted as tears slowly came out of his eyes. “Everything that I’ve done… Everything that I’ve given away…”

                  That night, I understood that broken hearts did not always mean that your lover left you or rejected you. The way Luhan cried in front of me so helplessly pierced my heart the way Sehun never could. Sure my separation with Sehun had left me scarred and scared to love again, but I swore I could never forget the way Luhan just cried in front of me without saying anything else.

                  This was Luhan, I told myself. Luhan, who had sacrificed everything just for me. Luhan, who was the perfect embodiment of an ideal lover. Luhan, who made me smile again when Jongin left me. Luhan… who had always been honest with me. How could I be so cruel? How could I break his heart this way?

                  “Luhan…” I reached out to him but he backed away, stumbling a few steps before finally crouching down on the ground, sobbing quietly onto his arms. I could not take this sight of him.

                  I finally understood that no one, no matter how old he was, could escape from the vulnerability of having his heart broken by someone else. We were all grown-up adults now, but the way we handled our messy love affair was no better than a seventeen year-old begging for his lover to come back.

                  I had loved Luhan once. I truly did. But I realized that I had fallen for Jongin long ago, way before our separation or our first kiss. There was no way I could un-love him. I only knew this when I talked to my mother not long ago. Sometimes the kind of love we wanted might not be the love we needed. I wanted someone like Luhan, but I could not live a day without Jongin by my side.

                  That day… I lost a friend dear to my heart. And with him gone, I lost a piece of me that would never come back.

***

                  “Where is Luhan?” Jongin looked around, constantly checking his watch. I kept very quiet and checked my phone. He did not answer our calls. I accidentally stared at my own reflection in the mirror. No amount of concealer could help with that puffiness from crying too much and losing sleep.

                  “I don’t think he will come,” I muttered with a hoarse voice. “Let’s go, Jongin.”

                  “Hey, Sara,” He caught onto my wrist as his other hand grabbed my face. He wasn’t usually so aggressive in public but there was always an exception to everything. When I looked at the warmth in his eyes, so apparent that my heart swelled in pain at it, a drop of tear fell down from the corner of my eyes. “Sara… Sara, what happened between you and Luhan?”

                  There was no judgement, no jealousy. I did not deserve this. I did not deserve their love at all.

                  “Jongin, I broke his heart…” I thought I was done crying, but apparently not. “He must’ve hated me a lot. Jongin… what can I do? I think I messed up big time.” More big drops of tears fell down. “I’m sorry that I’m so selfish. I’m sorry, Jongin, I don’t know what to do.”

                  He sighed and his touch gradually became gentler. His hand was caressing my cheeks as I cried, and we were both staring at each other in complete silence. “Do you want to go back or do you want to catch the flight?”

                  “Catch the flight,” I replied tearily, knowing that I did not have the courage or the chance to speak to Luhan anymore. Jongin helped me gather my belonging as I grabbed onto the hem of his shirt, refusing to ever let go. I stared at the figure of his back. This, I told myself, was the man who had loved me and pursued me relentlessly for six years.

                  “Do you believe that everything will be okay?” He spoke very gently because he knew how fragile I was at the moment. His words were careful, not like the usual straightforward Kim Jongin that I knew. Then he gave me the handbag with my passport and wallet.

                  “Will we be?” I asked though I knew that our friendship of six years was ending because of me.

                  He did not give me a direct reply, but gave the top of my head a kiss and said, “No matter what, I’ll be there for you, okay?”

“If you’d give me your hand, please,” She finally came. I lifted my hand weakly and let her do what she was supposed to do. Clang! The bracelet opened and I felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of me. The lady carefully placed the bracelet on the tray and smiled at me, “Ah, this customer has requested an English phrase. See here. It says…”

It says,

‘MARRY ME SARA, 2017.01.06’.

A/N:

First of all, if this were my real story, I would have chosen Luhan.

And yes, I ing cried, too, while I was writing.

Initially, he was my choice, until I realized that the ending fit him better than Jongin ever would. Besides, out of three or four stories I have written for Jongin, none of them have a happy ending, so I decided that this would be his first.

In case you were wondering, Luhan never came back.

Sorry people, this is not some fairytale story where everyone can move on and befriend the people who broke your heart so badly.

Six years is not short, and not even the reader would know the amount of sacrifices Luhan had given up for Sara. That kind of wound would never heal over time.

If you want an epilogue on Jongin and Sara, just comment below.

Thanks for reading, everyone. 

Hope this was a ...happy *cough*… read for you.