Never Let Go

A Simple Love

Jaejoong had so many things he wanted to say to Yunho. He wanted to say that he loved him, couldn’t keep his mind off of him, and how much he drove him crazy. He wanted to let him know that he wanted him to be a part of his life forever, and that he didn’t mean to hide what he felt, but instead wanted to tell the whole world. But these words weren’t so easy to say to your best friend who you knew for the longest time out of everybody. He had to find the perfect time, and for the strangest reason, he felt that this way perfect. He could’ve felt incorrectly. It might’ve been the perfect time for him, but what about Yunho? What does Yunho feel right now? Jaejoong had no way of telling. So he let Yunho speak.

Yunho realized how Jaejoong’s chest heaved up and down. He gripped the bed sheets as if he were scared of something waiting in the shadows behind the closet door. Yunho was hesitant to make a move. He didn’t want to startle Jaejoong, nor did he want to get rejected by him. Jaejoong was too important. A precious jewel that should be treated with extremely gentle hands. He couldn’t be dropped, and he couldn’t be hit. He couldn’t be forced into a cramped space, and he couldn’t be thrown around. He had to be handled with the gentlest of hands this crazy, messed-up world harbored. Yunho hoped he could be that one special person, but he doubted it. He just had to wait and see what happened.

As the two friends sat on the bed together, Yunho studied Jaejoong’s features. They were the same as always: small, gentle, sharp, bright. But something arose in Yunho that was never there before. He felt like crying. He never cried unless something upset him deeply. The last time he cried was right after the Split happened. It was the heartbreak of his life. He wondered at the time what would take him to the brink of his last drop of patience, and he was at the conclusion: Jaejoong leaving forever.

Jaejoong found his strength to call out to Yunho. “Yunho.”

His voice was groggy like he just woke up from a good night’s sleep. This seemed like the perfect voice to Yunho. He didn’t really mind what Jaejoong sounded like, just as long as he still had his beautiful voice. And even in a throaty form, it was absolutely gorgeous.

Yunho gently grinned. “Yes?”

“It hurts.”

“What does?”

“… My heart.”

Yunho’s face unconsciously contorted into a worried grin. “The Split had the same affect on me. But I still go on with my daily life. I need my nutrients, just like you need yours. So will you, for me, eat? You look like a walking skeleton.” Yunho tried a little chuckle, but nothing came from Jaejoong.

On the inside, Jaejoong was jumping with joy. Yunho had said “for me” without even knowing how happy it made Jaejoong. Was it that Yunho cared for Jaejoong as well? Could Jaejoong take the ultimate risk and tell Yunho about how he felt? What if Yunho thought it was disgusting and could care less about the way Jaejoong felt? Would he even give him a chance? If that was so, then Jaejoong would have to give up on Yunho completely and live his life in total depression. He might even have to give up on his life in general. Without Yunho, he had nothing else to live for.

Jaejoong managed a shrug. “I just haven’t been hungry. And food doesn’t taste good anymore. It’s bitter just like that tea I had.” With pleading eyes, Jaejoong looked at Yunho like he held his life in his hands. “Will you make me something?”

Yunho wasn’t sure if he could. “I don’t know, Jae. We’d have to go out and get to the dorm without anyone noticing. Our distraction is gone and at the dorm already, so we have no way of doing that. And there isn’t a stove anywhere nearby, and even if there was, I’ve got no food at my expense.” Yunho returned Jaejoong’s gaze with genuine guilt.

Jaejoong sighed. “I’m not hungry anyway.”

“But you were when you asked me to make something for you, right?” Yunho teased, hoping to see a smile from Jaejoong.

A blush was good enough. Yunho gathered up all of his courage to ask Jaejoong another question. “If DBSK were to get back together again, what would you do? I want your honest answer, Jae.”

This took a few minutes to think over. There were many choices Jaejoong could pick from. But one stuck to him like a child to her mother. He just didn’t have courage to say it: “I’d spend every moment with you. I wouldn’t move from your side, even if Soo Man threatened me. I wouldn’t care.” Jaejoong just didn’t have the courage to tell him that. It seemed like it would separate them further apart, like the north and south points of a powerful magnet. That was the last thing Jaejoong wished for.

“I would be happy and do everything in my power to be a better person. Soo man thought I wasn’t useful, so he kicked me out, and I unwillingly dragged Junsu and Yoochun with me. So it’s my entire fault. I don’t deserve friends, and I don’t deserve a life. I’ll just bring everybody down with me.” Jaejoong turned away from Yunho to hide what he didn’t want his best friend to see—tears of pain, of giving up, of wanting to leave the world. He knew Yunho would tell him that giving up so easily wasn’t a healthy thing to do, and he didn’t want that. So he just hid himself from Yunho.

Yunho once again knew what Jaejoong was trying to hide. He didn’t want him to do that. He wanted Jaejoong to trust him with all he was worth. Yunho would save him from anything, everything, and everyone. Nothing could stop him. Love was an unfathomable concept of the world, and it was hard to understand it. That was why Yunho had such trouble dealing with it. But one thing was for sure: he was focused on helping Yunho. That was why Junsu and Yoochun put themselves in danger so courageously. Yunho had to find such courage as well. If he didn’t, Jaejoong would think the world didn’t care about him and he would want to leave sooner than he already did.

To stop anything Yunho knew he would later regret letting Jaejoong do, he did the only thing he could to comfort Jaejoong: hold him close and never let go.

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A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated all weekend. I can only do it during the week :/ Anyway, how was it? I would've made it longer, but... fluff overload >_< I couldn't write anymore, and I didn't want you to wait until tomorrow for YunJae AND YooMinSu to all come out at once. Which means a longer update on how the three "children" are doing is coming tomorrow ^^ I honestly am having a hard time writing simple scenes like theirs. I've got to put up a lot of events, but I'm lost when they're just in a dorm doing nothing except talking. That gets boring, you know?

Well, anyhow, I hope you enjoyed :) Let me know what you think down in the comment box ^^

IF ANYBODY IS WILLING TO MAKE A POSTER FOR ME, THAT WOULD BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU <3

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Comments

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lemon_syung
#1
Chapter 13: I wonder.... will you update this story?

After (almost) 12 years? .....
mickeycute #2
Chapter 13: hmmm..please update ^^
omgomg #3
HOLY CRAP!! Picture on chapter 8 shocked me! Cassies are michi michi michi ninjas!! O.O
omgomg #4
this is really cute. I like that their talking... no miscoms =)
luckydolphin
#5
Lee soo man!!!! Just leave them be!!!! My poor YUNJAE...and DBSK!!!! Please update soon!!!! ^^
KpopCookie #6
i love this story!! :3 its so said and i'm wondering like my YunJAe mind is working i bet this is why they are apart, trying to cover the fact that YunJAe was real >.> mhm thats it lol anyways!! Ch 8 picture!! prove that YunJae is real!! come on what "friends" do that!!?! not even close girls do that mhm mhm *nods* Ninja Cassies are beast XD okay i'm done update soon ~ <3 <3
DoubleYsYeoja #7
AIGOO THEY GOT CAUGHT???
luckydolphin
#8
THEY GOT COUGHT TOO!!! AISH!!!! YOOSU YOU CAN'T JUST KISS ANYWHERE YOU WANT!!!!<br />
:(
kaikan
#9
awwww...I liked that chapter dongsaeng!! Now you know how I feel about you and your late updates but then again...I am a reason why you had a late update...mianhae!!! Can't wait to see what you come up with next chapter!!