Chapter Eight

Talk me Down

Just as Jeonghan had predicted, Seungcheol becomes the eyes of the attention, especially when he started officially joins the basketball team. Almost every girls talk about him, even the girls in his class. Jeonghan doesn’t really care, because in the end, their conversation will end at him being taken by a pretty girl from the all girl school five blocks away. Beside Taehyung, Jeonghan can counts other students he gets along with. Probably only Jihoon, the class leader and Wen Junhui, the awkward chinese student. The rest of the kids doesn’t really bother with his existence except for the title ‘Pretty Nerd’ he heard somewhere behind his back.

Either way, he doesn’t mind. Maybe some times after the club – science club – he joined, he will saw Seungcheol rushing to the front gate, picking up his pretty girlfriend who wants to watch his practice. He doesn’t talk to and meet Seungcheol again after that day , mostly because he always decline Taehyung’s kind offer to hang out again together.

Jeonghan knows Seungcheol will take a glance when they crossed path in the hallway or simply when he buys his lunch and happen to walk past Seungcheol’s table in the cafeteria, but again, Jeonghan is self conscious, he’s nowhere between Seungcheol’s line of friend. Later that weekend, after coming along with his sister’s photo shoot in one of Jonghyun’s new studio, Jeonghan excuses himself to go to the bookstore –which is a total bull – Jin-ah only nods and reminds him that she will be late. He drags his feet further nearest bus stop and get on whatever bus take him, doesn’t really know where it is, but he could always find a way home, right?

He gets down, and walks around the unfamiliar neighborhood, takes another bus and does the same thing.

But the goddess of fortune seems to be playing on him, because in this early fall, it suddenly rains. People will blame global warming for this, but Jeonghan will curse himself for the bad luck instead. His newly bought plaid shirt is soaked wet, at least he can safe his dead phone by shoving it further on his jean’s pocket.

The rain doesn’t seem to be going down soon, so Jeonghan suits himself on the empty bus shelter, curling himself on the bench waiting for bus 62 – according to the board – to give him a ride to home. The sun goes down and it’s suddenly 6 pm.

Jeonghan shivers, the cold has reached his bones through the damp clothes. The sight of a bus is aproaching, Jeonghan squints his eyes, it’s not his bus.

Just like a de javu, it was suddenly Seungcheol, standing in front of him, holding an umbrella and a plastic bag in the other hand. . Jeonghan hates the goddess now.

“Are you okay?” Seungcheol’s round eyes stares down at his dripping attire. “Yes”
Seungcheol fidgets, observing the blond again in his quiet before speaks up “If you’re waiting for bus 62, it doesn’t operate more than 5 pm” Jeonghan gapes, . Just .

“Is there any other bus i can take back to the east?”

Seungcheol thinks hard “There’s one, bus 74, but it will come later at 9” Jeonghan pulls his knees closer to his chest, hoping it will make the cold leaves his body. Jeonghan wishes Seungcheol would leave, but no, he stands there, still holding the umbrella and a plastic bag.

“I can take you home”

Again, like a de javu. Just like back then when Seungcheol offer to take Jeonghan home, this time Jeonghan also supposed to reject but no, he doesn’t do that

“how?” Jeonghan is just dumb.

Seungcheol leads the way, taking a distance from Jeonghan, not to close but not that distant either, enough for both of them to stand under Seungcheol’s yellow umbrella without getting wet – well, anymore wetter in Jeonghan’s case- .

The apartment is fancy, Jeonghan feels bad to make a wet trails on the floor. Seungcheol rummages to find the key. And he enters after the beep. “It’s okay, come on in”
Seungcheol seems to read Jeonghan’s fear of soiling the apartment. The other boy disappears inside and Jeonghan just stands there on the doorway. “Jeonghan?” He’s not really sure, but still follows the voice to one of the room.

The room feels the same. There’s a single bed in the middle of the room, a desk and book shelf near the window, and a big cupboard across the bathroom. Jeonghan wonders how he can remember it clearly.

“You can wear this ,i will put your clothes in the dryer”

Seungcheol shoves a fluffy towel , a pair of jogger pants and a light grey sweater. With an awkward gesture, Seungcheol disappears again, probably in the living room, since Jeonghan can hear a TV sounds. He looks around, why does it feels like a time travel? Seungcheol doesn’t even change the arrangement of his new room. This bed room feels like Seungcheol, smells like Seungcheol, and there’s Seungcheol everywhere – at the cd game on the shelf, at the big basketball couch near the window, at the back and red number four jersey nailed on the wall- .

Jeonghan comes out, Seungcheol immediately takes the wet clothes and put them on the dryer. Jeonghan in now sitting on the couch , a cup of warm milk in front of him. It’s too much like a time travel for him, back to the past when everything is still new.

“I will take you home after the rain stopped”

Jeonghan smiles “It’s okay, i will take the bus” it’s because Jeonghan had a feeling the rain won’t stop any time sooner. Seungcheol stands still, a few meters behind the couch.

“Do you hate me, Jeonghan?”

The question caught him off guard, because Jeonghan doesn’t prepare himself for this. Seungcheol’s jaw clenched and he’s wearing an unexplainable expression which of course Jeonghan couldn’t see. “Why do you ask?” Jeonghan thinks it will be safe to answer with the question instead.

“Because you act like we never exist” Jeonghan laughs bitterly to himself. Is there even ‘we’ in the first place? Jeonghan wants to say that, but he bites his tongue hard it doesn’t slip out. “No, i don’t hate you”

“Then why are you giving me a cold shoulder and pretend we don’t know each other?” Jeonghan wants to laugh, really, because it’s just so funny.

“Isn’t that what you want it to be?” Seungcheol’s shoulders tensed at the responds. Jeonghan is amused at his own bravery, for speaking it out loud. But then those broad shoulders drop again. “I hate to run away, but i know i am a coward and run away from you”

“I decided to run away too, so it’s on both of us-”
Seunghcheol steps closer, arms still dropping on his sides. “-we were young and scared, that’s all” Jeonghan continues.

“And now you’re not scared?”

Jeonghan falls in silence. He is scared, hell, he still is. But now that he knows thing has changed between them, he could say he’s not. “No”

“i do, though”

Seungcheol smiles weakly. Jeonghan hates this situation, he hates Seungcheol’s answer. “It’s should be easy for you because you get yourself a girlfriend” he hates it too because he couldn’t control himself and spits out his hatred on to Seungcheol instead. “It’s not easy for m-”

“Then how do you expect me to face all of this alone?”

he finally snaps. Seunghceol could see Jeonghan’s fists on his lap tighten. Shoulder shaking from probably holding anger. It was hard for Seungcheol, but he has his brother, he has his friends, he has Tzuyu being there. In the other hand Jeonghan is alone, trying to handle a problem a mere teenager should face alone. Seungcheol is an , yeah, he knows he is.

He takes steps closer to Jeonghan who is still facing him away. The Tv suddenly feels quiet and the universe turns mute, it was only Jeonghan and his low breathing. His hands are just and inch away from Jeonghan, the couch between them suddenly disappears as Seungcheol puts his arms around the blond’s neck, pulling him backwards to meet his chest from behind.

It was uncomfortable, his upper body had to lean forward avoiding the couch, but Seunghceol doesn’t mind. Jeonghan’s slightly wet ponytail smells like mint, and his sweater smells like himself.

Jeonghan doesn’t move, he stays still letting Seungcheol does whatever he is doing right now. He just wants to cry. He wants to turn around and pulls Seungcheol on his embrace, but no, he couldn’t do that. “We barely knew each other, we just happen to know each other for a short moment, you shouldn’t push yourself to pity me” Jeonghan soft voice speaks again.

It wasn’t a pity, Seungcheol knows. Whatever he’s feeling right now is not a pity, it’s the same feeling he feels towards the shoulder length brunette he met a year ago. The brunette he kissed. “You have made your choice, Seungcheol. Leave it that way” Jeonghan feels like talking to himself. His heart still aching, but it’s better this way.

“No-”

“-please let me made it up” it’s not a beg not even sounds like a request, more like an order because Jeonghan feels Seungcheol’s wrap on his neck is getting tighter as he nuzzles further to the back of his nape.

Jeonghan stays in silence.

Until Seungcheol frees himself from the back hug and Jeonghan turns around to face him. Seungcheol smiles, and Jeonghan just have the urge to land a punch on his handsome face. It’s not a smile Jeonghan wants Seungcheol to have on his face, no, not that kind of pained smile. “The rain stopped” Jeonghan breaks away and Seungcheol looks down. 

“I’ll take you home”

~~~

It was almost 9 when he reached back his brother’s apartment. he takes off his jacket and throw the key somewhere on the table near the untouched cup of milk had turned cold. He takes the same spot on the couch a certain blond sits a while ago. The smiling banana print on the cup is staring back at him, mocking him in a way Seungcheol wants to smash it in pieces.

He is a selfish bastard, he pushes himself on Jeonghan when he already aware that Jeonghan wants to avoid him. All this time he spent trying to forget his feeling for Jeonghan, never ever once he forgets the taste of Jeonghan’s lips on his, how his shocked eyes were wide opened as he put his lips on his. It’s just last for three seconds, but Seungcheol remembers the feeling, how his stomach turned in a knot, caging the butterflies inside. Or how his heart felt like thumping harder against his breathless lungs.

When he made the decision to love Tzuyu, even when they kissed, the feeling wasn’t exactly the same. Tzuyu’s lips feel soft and tender against his, she tastes like strawberry and some short of other berries, but it just doesn’t same. He could imagine things to do with Tzuyu, like how he naturally puts his hand around her shoulder as they walk, to hold her hands when are in the crowds, to simply wipes the corner of her lips, or how natural it is to say ‘i love you’ among their conversation, it was easy to think about what he should do when he’s with her. He will find himself fitting her expectation.

But it’s different with Jeonghan, he just doesn’t know what to do with him. His nervous self will ended up expecting something he never think of, and that makes his heart flutter in a weird feeling. Sometimes, when he’s with Tzuyu, holding hands in hands, he will recall those times when he and Jeonghan lie side by side, when their arm will brush against each other. He feels bad for a moment, and then pushed the thought about Jeonghan again behind his head as he plants a small kiss on their intertwined fingers.

And now that Jeonghan is back, he couldn’t help to notice him. In the hallway, in the cafeteria, in his own imagination . Seungcheol was thinking that he might gone crazy when his eyes met those orbs again, shivering before him. But it’s really Jeonghan, wearing the maroon plaid shirt – drenched maroon plaid shirt - , curling himself into a ball.

Yeah, like a de javu.

He’s scared he will bump his shoulder on Jeonghan – Jeonghan is pale as sheet, and Seungcheol scared he might break down if they bumped- that he has to keep his distance even though it’s really hard because the damn small umbrella.

Again, the de javu feeling knocks his mind when he pulled out the clothes from his closet carefully, thinking about which clothes will fit Jeonghan’s body which is still much smaller than his – and he starts to pull out the smallest clothes he has - and when he poured the hot water to the smiling banana cup and the water turns white, it feels not real.

Call him insane or mental, because apparently yes he is that moment he pulls Jeonghan in to a back hug – more likely a neck hug - . He doesn’t regret a thing, because it feels right. So damn right he will float in his own tears.

And just now, when jeonghan’s slender fingers found their way on his waist and grip his jacket, he couldn’t help to twist the speed handle harder so that those fingers finally wrap around his abdomen instead. Even if that means Seungcheol himself had to pray along with Jeonghan , wishing they will arrive safely in one living piece. It’s just worth it. Seungcheol is happy,he feels close, Jeonghan once again feels so close.

And Seungcheol still curses why the rain stopped. 

~~~

Seungcheol is surprised when Jeonghan joins his table for lunch break the next days, Taehyung looks even more happier, because finally he could make Jeonghan joins them instead of having lunch in his science club room or in the class with some project excuses. “Funny, Taeyong” Taehyung mocks as Taeyong makes a joke about Taehyung now uneven bangs length.

“Be grateful i’m not in the mood for your ”

Jeonghan just laughs along. “What about you trim the sides down instead and style the bang backwards?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow, thinking “Wouldn’t that be weird on me?” Jeonghan stands up, running his fingers on Taehyung’s bang and pulls them backwards carefully, Seungcheol watches as those fingers slips through Taehyung’s red hairs, wondering to himself how would it feel if it was his hair.
“Hello, Mr. Bond” Taeyong whistles.
“Wow, i look fancy” Taehyung observes his own reflection on the spoon.

“What do you think,Seungcheol?” Seungcheol couldn’t be more surprised when Jeonghan asks the question on him. Seungcheol feels the cat caught his tongue

“Uh- it’s nice- i mean, suits you well, Taehyung” The red head glares “What’s with the stutters? Did you just make fun of me in your brain?”

“What? No i didn’t, i just mesmerized by your spark” Seungcheol replies. “I know what’s in your mind” and they again starting the arguments, Jeonghan and Taeyong will laughs at them along with other students who also listening to their childish bickering.

The days are better since the talk, they are not running away from each other at least. Jeonghan will occasionally joins them for hang out, just occasionally because Jeonghan is still Jeonghan and he still loves his ‘being alone’.

His first high school’s championship is in the end of the year, and Seungcheol wants to be in the first string and be a part of the main team by the end of November. He trains hard to prove himself worth it and he barely meets Jeonghan because Jeonghan himself is going to participate in a science competition this mid october and he is preparing for it with the teacher.

But every now and then, Seungcheol can feel Jeonghan’s companion just like the old days. Sometimes Taehyung will drag him to watch Seungcheol’s practice which Seungcheol himself is kind of uneasy. Yes of course Taehyung’s main intention is to watch the cheerleading squad’s practice instead, but then his gaze will find its way to Jeonghan’s shady eyes, staring at him, Jeonghan will smile when that happens, or occasionally it’s him who gives the blonde a small wave.

Seungcheol will pay Jeonghan a visit at his science club too if he isn’t occupied with hectic practice or making up date with Tzuyu afterschool. Jeonghan will be the last person on the club, carefully cleaning the tubes and glasses, Jeonghan said once to him he likes doing it and so he volunteers to do that. Seungcheol likes watching Jeonghan on his white robe that almost matches his long blonde. It was good when it’s just the two of them at the quiet evening in the science room, with Jeonghan lining the tubes on the lower shelf and Seungcheol placing the rest on the upper shelf.

Seungcheol likes Jeonghan’s presence.

Maybe except for this special Wednesday afternoon, when Jeonghan suddenly appears in the gym’s door with Tzuyu tailing behind. The girl is waving his hand at Seungcheol as he made a small jog to both of them

“Why didn’t you tell me you will come?” Tzuyu shoves a flask on Seungcheol’s arms. “It won’t be a surprise if i tell you beforehand, Lucky i meet Jeonghan to take me here”

He glances at Jeonghan, “I guess i served my purpose” he says jokingly.

“What? no. don’t go Jeonghan, stay with me here” Tzuyu grabs Jeonghan’s arm fast before he could walk away. He glances to Seungcheol, and Seungcheol is not sure what does that look means. Does Jeonghan want him to make excuse for him to leave? Does Jeonghan want him to let him stay? But what if he’s feeling uncomfortable with Tzuyu? What does that mean? The harder he thinks the more he makes himself drown in the situation, that’s why he made his own decision.

“Stay,Jeonghan”

Really,he wants Jeonghan to stay here for him.

~~~

Double update! My hands are itching to type some jeongcheol's skinship, so, here's a light one (wiggle eyebrows). 

I was just randomly picked out Taehyung and Taeyong as a character since they were also born in 95, but then I fall in love with them a i was making the story.  Some characters will be featured, but only as a minor characters, sorry, I couldn't help to put my other bias on the story ehehe 

It's just really nice to know you guys, my fellow holy jeongcheol shippers~ let me know your thought about the story and share some opinions ^^ 

With love, 

Deerchoding~