Chapter Two

Youth

Seungcheol is now on his second grade of middle school. His grades have significantly rocketing along his maturity. He is reaching thirteen soon, but he already towering over most of the boys in his grade. His baby fat has gone, making his slowly sharp feature to appear boldly. The girls has started to swarm around him like bees, making the boys envy. Everything about puberty just amuse Seungcheol a lot, it changed things in him that he doesn’t even know could happen to him. But not until he had his first wet dream, it terrifies him. His father is too awkward to explain and his mother explained it in her medical language-she’s a doctor- which made him doesn’t understand a thing. And that’s why now, he’s on the phone, talking to his dear big brother. “Congratulation, you’re officially a man”

“Am i supposed to go through this?” his brother scoffs from the other line. “Yes you do of course, it proves that you’re a healthy boy”

“But there’s another problem..it’s weird,and makes everything . . . awkward” His brother makes a simple ‘o’ before speaking up again.

“I see, so you also have another problem. It doesn’t specifically called a problem, it’s nature, Seungcheol. It does feel like that at first. That’s why you need to control it”

“What if it happen and i can’t control it?” His brother’s laugh roars, and it pisses Seungcheol off a lot.
“-Well, then let it go”

It does help, even though Seungcheol has to sneakily wash his own underpants. In the other hand, Taehyung who magically still become his best friend, bluntly announced that he even had watched his brother’s , explaining with some details Seungcheol doesn’t want to know. “I can lend you, if you want to”

“Sick” and Taehyung laughs, putting his arm on Seungcheol’s shoulder as they walk home from the game centre .

“Seungcheol?” Taehyun runs frantically after the called one after he suddenly dashed to a corner of a building. “Dude, that’s not cool!” when he can finally catch up with Seungcheol, he immediately pulls the later to hide. “Whatever you’re planning to do, don’t do that”

“I have to, Tae” Taehyung grips Seungcheol’s blazer harder as Seungcheol tries to free himself. “They are the kids from North high! They will beat you up!”

Seungcheol stares deeply at Taehyung’s eyes “I will do the same if that’s you, and if that’s me, i also wish someone will do the same” Seungcheol is a piece of stubborn Taehyung had ever meet in his life. “Fine, but we’ll do it my way”

And so, Taehyung puts his jacket on and cover his head with the hood, left hand aiming his phone at the scene. “Hey!”
Taehyung runs with all his might out of the alley to the crowds as soon as the boys realized that someone is recording what they’re doing. “Get him!”

Seungcheol squeezes himself further on the corner, watching two of the high school boys run after Taehyun in a hurry. The last one follows after giving a threat and one last kick to the one on the ground “This is not over, ”

Seungcheol slips out after making sure all of those three has gone far.
The memory is now as clear as crystal. The image of a boy, sitting on the ground, hugging his knees together, lips shaking, eyes wavering in tears. The details Seungcheol doesn’t even know he notices at their first meeting. He tries to stand up, wanting to run away at the sudden presence, but his legs give up . Both of them are sure of what they saw, sure who they were.

“No! Don’t come!” Seungcheol stops at his track, “It’s okay, it’s me,Seungcheol, do you remember?”

Jeonghan remembers, even with the now grown up Seungcheol, Jeonghan can immediately recognize. “That’s why i don’t want you to come near”

“Why?”

“Because it’s pathetic” But Seungcheol crouches down, leveling his eyes with Jeonghan. “It’s not” he pulls Jeonghan up by his arms, carefully observing the red and purple marks on Jeonghan’s skins. “I don’t need your help”

“I said i don’t need-”

“Shut up and just hold on” Jeonghan finds himself floating, both legs in the mid air, warmth radiating from the contact his chest made with Seungcheol’s back. They walks down the familiar road, Seungcheol doesn’t say a word, probably upset or maybe awkward to start any conversation. And Jeonghan just keep silence because at the moment, if he speaks anything, Seungcheol probably won’t respond. Seungcheol’s steps get slower as they walk past the park, Jeonghan knew why, because he’s feeling the same. Like a sudden flood of memory fill his head at once.

Jeonghan feels panic after realizing where Seungcheol take him. His grip on Seungcheol’s shoulder tighten as Seungcheol calls for his mother’s name “Welcome home, sweet- Oh my God”

She flies to check on her son, cupping his face frantically. “Are you okay, dear?” Her eyes shift to the boy on her son’s back, the same worried gaze towards the boy. Seungcheol sits Jeonghan down on the couch, earning a soft groan from the later. “Let me check you” she roams her ringers lightly to check every bruise and cut on Jeonghan’s face and arms. “What happened?”

Jeonghan looks down, not sure how to answer. “Hit and run” Seungcheol replies. “we’re walking near the park, so i thought i should just bring him home first”

“Seungcheol, why didn’t you call me or seek for help? If he happen to have a fracture or a head shock, giving him a piggy back would kill him!” Jeonghan feels bad, no, terrible. Seungcheol is covering him in froth of his mother, and now he’s getting blamed for his kindness instead. “Pl-please..don’t blame Seungcheol, ma’am. It’s my fault”

His mother sighs, “From what i see, there’s nothing to worry about, just some bruises and cuts. But you have to have a x-ray just in case, i’ll make an appointment, you can rest first, i will come to treat your wounds, okay?” Jeonghan nods, muttering a soft thank you as she pats his head lightly. “Come on, i’ll take you upstairs”

Seungcheol’s room is big, bigger than Jeonghan’s living room and kitchen combined. It’s not a surprise. “You can wear this, i’ll head downstairs” Seungcheol hands him a clean sweatpants and a white t-shirts before heading out. Jeonghan makes sure to lock the door before stripping his soiled uniform. Not that he’s scared Seungcheol will see him , but he’s scared Seungcheol will see the hidden bruises under his clothes.
Seungcheol comes up again, with a bowl of warm water and a box of first aid kit in the other hand. He observes how Jeonghan uncomfortably sit on the edge of his bed, his shirt is oversized on Jeonghan’s skinny frame. He looks relieved as Seungcheol closed the door behind .

“Mom got an emergency call” he pulls a chair in front of Jeonghan, carefully dipping the damp cloth on Jeonghan’s bruises and cuts. Jeonghan never been this close to anyone, but here, he could see how Seungcheol’s long and curvy eyelashes perfectly frame his round big eyes. He is amazed at how Seungcheol changed, how he became so good looking and manly. He can tell Seungcheol is going to be even more handsome as he grow up. Suddenly he feel ashamed of himself, Seungcheol is how a boy supposed to look like, manly and handsome. Unlike his feminine features that just get bolder as he grows up, to make matter worse, he had his hair reaching his shoulder. He is pathetic.

As he always been.

.

“Yea,i’m fine, what about you? hahaha. right. What a big head. Okay, see you on Monday?. Oh, and thanks, Tae” , Jeonghan can hears Seungcheol talking on the phone. It’s 7pm, he’s glad that it’s Friday, that’s mean his sister won’t be home till Sunday morning. He can go home late.. But something is bothering him, and Jeonghan knows he’s in trouble.

“You’re awake, are you okay?” Seungcheol’s words make him startled. Pulling the blanket up to his chest in reflex. “Ah y-yes i am”
Luckily Seungcheol believes.

Later that night, Seungcheol sleeps on his brother’s room after wishing Jeonghan a goodnight.
His mother also doesn’t come home, leaving only him and Seungcheol alone. A lot of things come to his mind. So he decided to speak it up, he stands in front of the room Seungcheol is sleeping in. Now that he thinks about it again, it’s half past midnight, Seungcheol might have been asleep. But the door cracks faster than Jeonghan’s steps.

“Here” Seungcheol puts a cup of warm milk in front of him, the same warm cup in his both hands. “If you don’t want to talk about it,it’s okay” As if he can read Jeonghan’s mind, Seungcheol breaks the silence. But Jeonghan knows Seungcheol is not okay, he has been really quiet and tends to avoid his gaze.
“That day, I’m glad we didn’t meet. I’m glad i’m not trying to climb up the wall to meet you-”

“-my father is furious that i didn’t come home. He’s been really abusive when mother’s not around. And that day, something happen. And i’m glad ,just glad i didn’t come to see you” Jeonghan stops, not sure how to explain things further. “Did he beat you up badly?”

“No-”,

“He killed mother”

~~~
Seungcheol insists on taking Jeonghan home even though he had said it’s okay. They sits side by side, drizzle slowly pouring outside the window. He can feel the cold air brushed against the thin fabric of his uniform. Seungcheol in the other hand had his casual jeans with a grey shirt under his blue navy jacket. “Did you usually take bus to school?”

“No,i take subway, the bus doesn’t have a route directly to my school.i just need to walk fifteen minutes from the station”

Seungcheol cried, when he confessed about his father killing his mother. Jeonghan himself is sure that he didn’t cry when his father hit his mother’s head with a beer bottle, or when the ambulance took the cold body away, he didn’t cry. But Seungcheol did. Seungcheol is just weird.

“I’ve never been to this part of the town” Seungcheol confesses when Jeonghan pushes the stop button. It’s a forty minutes trip from the nearest bus station from Seungcheol’s home. It’s just a small apartment complex, five stories. The building looks worn out and old. He can see the drizzle goes through some holes on the roof. “Do you want to come in?The rain is getting heavier”

“Can i?” Jeonghan nods, taking out the key from his trousers’ pocket. It’s just a small apartment, but neat and clean. Contrast with the appearance outside. “Your sister?” Jeonghan nods again. Seungcheol observes the picture carefully, they does look alike a lot. “I live with her now, but she rarely at home”

“Did she also there?”

“She’s living with my uncle since elementary, mother couldn’t afford enough money for both of us, and father just couldn’t stay sober. But now that she’s working in the town, she leaves this house for me to take care”

Staying with Seungcheol is fun even though they just sit on the cramped couch watching whatever movie the channel is playing. Sometimes Seungcheol will make a grumpy comments every time the character does something that Seungcheol thinks is non sense. He would also occasionally imitates the home shopping lady on the commercial break. “Mom makes me watch this all the time, asking if the product will make her looks younger”

As the clock strikes two at the evening, Jeonghan can hear grumble from Seungcheol’s stomach, who gives him a cheeky grin.

Jeonghan surely knows how to surprise Seungcheol. “Wow,this is amazing!” Seungcheol beams at the potato soup Jeonghan made. “Is it good?”

“Best” two thumbs up from Seungcheol. “it’s my first time cooking for someone beside my sister, so i’m a bit worry. I’m glad you like it” Jeonghan laughs. “Can you cook me lunch box i can show off to my friend?”
Jeonghan thought Seungcheol is joking, but he really means it because the later suggest they go to a grocery shop after the meal. “I’ll pick the lunch Monday morning at your school’s gate, okay?”

“You know my school?”

“Taehyung lives around there,he once told me about a school near his house. I can’t believe we never cross path, i often go there though” Seungcheol clean his spoon, making Jeonghan laughs louder. “You are amazing,Jeonghan. You can do things i can’t do”

The rain doesn’t stop till evening, Seungcheol has contacted his mom but unluckily, she has a surgery later this night. Jeonghan suggests with his low voice about Seungcheol staying over, for a moment Jeonghan thought Seungcheol will refuse, he stays in silence for a minute before agreeing. Everything is settled.

Not until it’s time to sleep, Seungcheol insists of taking the couch that barely can fit his back. But Jeonghan, being his best to be a good host, want Seungcheol to use his bed instead, which is impossible for Seungcheol to accept. Jeonghan is injured, he needs a good rest, and sleeping on the couch in a big no. And they reached an agreement, both of them will sleep on the single bed. It was awkward at first, because their arms will brush with each other in a slight movement. But Seungcheol doesn’t seem to mind it, they lie there, staring at the ceiling while Seungcheol is telling about their first meeting, about how Seungcheol waited at the wooden castle but Jeonghan never show up, about how Seungcheol wondered if Jeonghan got really sick after that day that’s why he never showed up,or simply about how he was trying to forget Jeonghan.

“You want to forget me?” Jeonghan turns his head. Seungcheol stops, before pouting his lips, thinking. “I thought you’ll do it as well”

But Jeonghan never forget, even if he wants to. Seungcheol is the first person he met to offer him helps, to offer a dirty wounded stranger a handshake. Jeonghan is about to explain when Sengcheol lets out a big yawn. Jeonghan smiles, wishing Seungcheol a goodnight before turning the light out. Seungcheol drifts to the dreamland in a blink, in the other hand, Jeonghan is perplexed, His eyes won’t shut. In all of a sudden, all he hears is Seungcheol’s soft breathing. It’s weird to have someone else on his bed. He can presence the weight on his bed as Seungcheol stirs around. He carefully glances at Seungcheol with the corner of his eye, as if he’s scared of getting caught trying to take a glance. Seungcheol’s chest rise and fall in a steady pace.

He looks like a kid, Seungcheol still is though. Things happened at the time he misses little Seungcheol’s presence, sitting beside him. Waiting him to speak. Seungcheol’s warm and big hands, his round sparkly eye that staring into the space. Their lives collide for a short moment, but Jeonghan never forget.