I can feel my mom’s stare drilling holes in my skull while we pretend to be watching tv with little Yeri, thankfully my sister doesn't have anything to do today which means if I stay in this room besides her I won't have to endure any awkward questions, valid questions. I stayed the night at my girlfriend’s after all, it doesn't matter if Joy texted her last night saying I was staying with her, my mom knows, she isn't stupid.

Joy also demanded me an explanation with her constant looks but Seulgi’s presence made it hard for her to ask anything, she did say. “See you later.” After Seulgi dropped her off so I'm waiting for her to appear here and drag me to my own room, it's inevitable.

Normally I wouldn't care for their stares, in the time we've been dating we had a share of misunderstandings much like what happened with her dad this morning. I'm fortunate it wasn't her mother who caught me wandering in their house but her husband who seems very proud of her daughter’s...accomplishments, he probably sees a lot of him in her, he was also a basketball player after all, he must be reliving his old days.

This time though, it's quite different. This time I know it isn't a misunderstanding, there's something to tell this time around but I refuse to acknowledge it to someone who isn't Seulgi, I'm still surprised by how well she managed everything. She was sweet, knew exactly what to say and appeared normal, all for my sake, that's until we kissed again this morning, then I noticed how nervous about it she actually is, all self-conscious about her hands unlike last night when she was drunk and got over her awkwardness really fast, it's cute.

“It'll happen when you feel it’s right.” She said to me in this serious tone that made me swoon once again for her, seriously, it's like she read a manual on how to say all the right things. She also held my hand tightly and gave me a reassuring smile, dumb bear, I close my eyes and smile at the memory.

“Unnie.” Yeri taps my leg. “Someone’s at the door.”

“Oh.” My mom squints her eyes at me. “It's probably Joy.” I awkwardly tell her while I get up from the couch.

My Mom is mostly sour because I'm not telling her anything but really, I can't handle another talk, she makes everything more embarrassing than it should be and knowing her undying love for the other girl I can imagine where she's going to lead that conversation. Honestly, my mom and Seulgi’s could learn something from each other and find a healthy balance.

“You have some explaining to do young lady.” Joy says as soon as I open the door. “What happened last-”

“Unnie!” Yeri who was trailing behind me makes her shut up startled.

“Hi, sweetie.” She fakes a smile while giving me a glare. “How's your weekend?”

“Awesome.” Yeri grins.

“Good.” Joy grins back. “After I talk to your sister let's hang out, ok?”

“Yeah.” The little girl giggles happily. “I want to show you what I learned yesterday.“

“I can't wait.” She chirps and lightly pushes me returning to her serious expression. “Let's go, Irene.” She grins creepily and pushes me again.

“Stop pushing me!” I whisper giving a couple of steps forward to avoid more physical harm, we go to my room and she locks the door behind me. “It's cute how Yeri has a crush on you.” I casually comment taking a seat on my bed.

“Oh no, I'm not here to do small talk.” Joy says shaking her head. “I'm here for information.”

“Joy, seriously? You couldn't wait until tomorrow or I don't know, text me?”

“I know you, Bae, you would've ignored my texts and ditch me at school.” She's right. “Now tell me, what happened last night?” She practically jumps to sit in front of me.

“You want to know the details?” She nods, I lean in and make a dramatic pause. “Absolutely nothing happened.” I say leaning back with a playful smile.

“Seriously?” I shrug while she sighs actually looking relieved rather than disappointed, well, that's unexpected. “How...anticlimactic.”

“I was so expecting another reaction from you.” I say as she lies down on the bed. “Why are you so relieved?”

“I was being consumed by guilt!” She confesses “Seulgi was completely hammered and you weren't any better.”

“I wasn't drunk." I defend myself.

“Maybe not as much as Seulgi but enough for me to feel guilty for letting you stay at her place so easily.”

“How refreshing to see you like this.” I joke.

“I couldn't sleep, you know?!”

“Alright, mom.”

“But nothing happened.” She closes her eyes. “I should trust you more.” I watch her while I bring a thumb to my lips and start biting its nail.

“What if I told you…” I trail off embracing myself for the outburst. “That something happened last night.”

“I knew it!” She sits up suddenly making a mess of her hair. “You liar! I knew you couldn't spend the night with…” She moves her hands in a groping motion. “Handsy girl and not let anything happen, you barely manage her sober.”

“Yah.” I lower her hands blushing, I'm not good at explicit subjects like this one. “Not like that, but something almost happened.” I correct her.

“Elaborate please.”

“I don't know… We were making out-”

“How weird of you two.”

“Hey, you want me to talk? No interruptions.” I glare at the girl. “Anyways...we were making out and normally I'm very aware of everything and I know when she's getting too excited.” I take a hold of a pillow and hug it. “But last night it was like I wasn't thinking properly, I mean, staying at her place was a bad idea right of the bat and I agreed anyway.”

“Alcohol does that to you.” She reasons with me.

“I wasn't drun-” I sigh. “Right, so as I was saying, it was like some kind of a trance, next thing I knew shirts disappeared and then I was very aware again.”

“Shirts off and everything? You're full of surprises, I'm guessing that's when you told her to stop.” I hug my pillow tighter and hide my face behind it. “Right?”

“The thing is…” My cheeks feel like they are burning. “I told her it was my first time and to slow down…“ She raises an eyebrow. “I told her to slow down, not to stop.”

“So...the story isn't over?”

“It is, after hearing that she stopped all by herself.”

“Out of shock I assume.” I chuckle.

“Yeah, probably.”

“I didn't know you were so into her, I mean, you told me before but this is like...actual proof.” She says in amazement.

“If I didn't like her I wouldn't be dating her.”

“You know what I mean.” She rolls her eyes. “You have dated other people before, maybe even for longer and still you didn't get to this part.”

“I know…but she isn’t like the ones I've dated before...she’s different.”

“You sound like a person who's-” She trails off smirking and shaking her head.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She laughs softly. “Kang Seulgi of all people.” She says amused while I burn in my own embarrassment. “After all your denial.”

“I'm aware of the irony.” I rest my chin on the pillow.

“She's so annoying, she's so dumb, Joy I'm not going to date her stop.” She mocks me.

“I don’t sound like that!” I complain about the overly whiny tone.

“What is it about her that is so different anyway?”

“I don’t know…” There's a lot of stuff I can say about her that I like but more than half of those reasons are probably things I complained about with Joy.

“I mean, I know why everyone else likes her but you, miss denial, I'm curious about what made your motors going last ni-”

“I seriously don't know.” I whine wanting her to stop the teasing. “It just...happened, like a switch that made me think I was ok with it at the moment.”

“That switch you talk of is actually called being -”

“Joy please.” I whine kicking the bed and burying my face on the pillow, I hear her laugh, the bed shifts and then I feel her patting my head.

“Maybe it was the drinks? You did say you weren't thinking properly.” She offers as consolation.

“I'm sober right now...” I mumble looking down, I wonder if it's possible to pass out from blushing too hard. “And I haven't changed my mind.” Joy looks genuinely surprised by my answer despite her teasing just a second ago.

“To actually hear these words coming out of your mouth... Did you two talk about it in the morning?”

“Shut up.” I say against the pillow. “We did, she was really sweet about it and said it'll happen when I want it to happen.” I bite my lip to restrain a smile.

“She really is something else, huh? Stopping from going further even when she's drunk, saying that kind of stuff so easily.” She sighs dreamily. “You need to find me a girlfriend.”

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