I walk home nervously from the bus stop. I thought I’d be over the moon at being accepted as an SM trainee, but the whole singing-not-dancing thing is making me very unsure. Still, at least I get to move out soon. But I have to break the news to my dad first. I don’t see this going down too well. I’ll have to convince him somehow. I hope he doesn’t make too big a fuss. I absently kick a pebble on the road as I remember the conversation I had with Manager Guy, or Go Manager as he had told me to refer to him.

  “There’s no need. I accept.”

He’d looked a bit surprised when I told him that, but quickly covered it up, “Are you sure you don’t want to think about it more?”

“Yes, I’m sure. When can I move into the dormitories?”

“First, you need to come with your parents to sign the contract. You’re still a minor, right?”

“Right… The thing is, they don’t know about my audition yet.”

“Then I suggest you tell them soon. They have to sign the contract for you as your legal guardians. And the sooner you have the contract sorted out, the sooner you can move into the dormitories.”
 

While I’ve been absorbed in my thoughts, I’ve already arrived at my house. There’s no point in delaying it. I'm going to tell dad today. “I’m home!” I call out as I take my shoes off and enter the house. No need to sneak around today, since I need to speak to Dad anyway. Se Mi comes running to me, dragging her beloved teddy bear by the leg behind her, huge smile on her chubby face.
 

“What has our Se Mi been up to today?” I ask, picking her up in my arms.

“Minnie, welcome home!! Today, I play with Riri at Riri home. She has toys lots!” she spreads her arms wide to show how many toys Riri, her friend from daycare had, dropping Mr.Pink on the floor in the process. No, the bear isn’t actually pink. It’s brown. Don’t ask me to explain a three-year old’s logic.

“Yeah? Did you have fun? Were you a good girl today?”

“Yep! I always good girl!”

“Aigoo, you’re so cute!! Can I eat you up, Se Mi-ya?”

“No!! Mommy save me!” she shrieked as I pretended to bite her ear off. I rubbed my cheeks on her hair and hugged her close. I am really going to miss the little rascal.

Step-mom comes into the living room, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Oh, you’re home early today, Jung Min-ah! How was your day? Your dad will be home soon. Let’s all have dinner together. I made Naengmyun,” she says, smiling at me.

“Ne,” I reply, “I’ll just quickly wash up and come down.”
 

I escape up the stairs to my room after putting Se Mi down. I try to think of the best way to reveal my decision to my dad, while singing in the shower like I always do. I eventually give up and decide to just go with the flow when the time comes. I dry my hair and start sorting through my stuff to decide what I want to take with me and what I probably won’t need at the dorms. I hear my dad come home a few minutes later. I guess it’s time to go down and face the music.

I enter the kitchen and help my stepmom set the table and then keep Se Mi occupied so stepmom can finish the last-minute stuff. When everything’s set, she calls my dad to come eat. The dinner mostly consists of conversation between my dad, stepmom and Se Mi as they seem to even forget I’m at the table. I can’t bring myself to bring up the topic as they chat cheerfully. After dinner, we relocate to the living room with bowls of ice-cream for dessert in front of the TV. I decide that it’s going to be now or never and just plunge in.

"A-appa..." I say nervously. He's laughing at something on the TV and doesn't hear me. Sighing, I call out to him again, much louder this time, "Appa!"

"Hm?" he turns to me questioningly, only half-paying attention.

“Dad, I want to be an idol. I had my final audition for SM today, and I got accepted,” I blurt out in a rush. That certainly grabs his full attention. He just looks at me with wide eyes, unable to process what he’s just heard.

“I’d like your permission to accept the offer they’ve given me. They’ll train me in all the required aspects, and even put me up in one of the trainee dorms, so there won’t be any burden on you. I just need you to sign the contract papers on my behalf because I’m legally still a minor,” I finish.

He frowns, and glances at my stepmom. Her expression is frozen on her face, so I can’t figure out what’s going on in her mind at all.

“If being an idol is really what you want to do, then I won’t stand in your way,” he says eventually, thinking it through. “But I wish you’d informed us before that you were auditioning for these companies. We could have cheered you on…”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d react, and I didn’t want to jinx it because I wasn’t really sure I’d get in,” I say, quickly making an excuse for hiding everything from them. And it's not even a total lie - I really wasn't sure how they'd react, and who knows if I'd get in. “They told me that I can go sign the contract two days from now. I can move into the trainee dorms the same day and they will give us a tour around the buildings as well.”

“Moving where? You have to move to be a trainee?” he asks, looking shocked.

“Honey, if she needs to move to the dorms, then let her. We shouldn’t hold her back from her ambitions in life,” my stepmom intercedes. She gives me a smile, “I’m really proud of you for getting accepted! We’ll miss you around here.”

‘Yeah right, you'll miss me. Then why are you so quick to let me move out?’ I think despondently.

I know I should be over the moon at how well they’re taking this, but I can’t help but feel a little like they can’t wait to be rid of me. Do parents usually accept it so easily when their teenage daughter tells them she’s moving out to become an idol trainee out of the blue? I don’t think so. I guess it works out well for me, but still…

The next day, I call Sung Jae Oppa to give him the good news and also tell him I won’t be continuing at the studio anymore for obvious reasons. He tells me they’ll plan a farewell party for me. I’m really touched, but unfortunately I have my hands full trying to get everything together for the move, so we decide to just forgo it for now. He makes me promise to keep in touch even after I become a big star. I don’t bother telling him about the whole singing-not-dancing part, since even I haven't totally wrapped my head around it yet.

***

Two days after that, I go around to the SM headquarters again, this time with my dad and step-mom in tow, and we sign the contract. Go Manager is the one who talks us through everything. Basically, I have to train in whatever they deem necessary, I can’t leave before the 2 years are up, all decisions regarding any future activities or debut will be up to their discretion and I will have minimal input. Whatever money is made through my activities during the trainee period would go to SM, and not to me. And of course, the non-disclosure terms which dictate that whatever incidents or secrets I happen to see, experience or learn about SM and its employees during the two-year period will have to remain a secret even if I decide to leave the company. A pretty standard contract, in other words.
 

Go-Man, as I’ve taken to calling him in my mind, shows us around the headquarters - the recording rooms, the practice rooms, the gym, the clinic, and the cafeteria. We actually catch a glimpse of Jonghyun and Key from Shinee at the cafeteria, but I doubt either my dad or stepmom recognizes them. Next Go-Man shows us a trainee center where the trainees usually practice until they're considered good enough to need more supervision and are allowed to use the main headquarters. I think my dad and step-mom’s head is spinning with all the information they are receiving, if their glazed eyes are any indication.
 

The dorms are somewhere on the way from SM headquarters to the trainee building, but much closer to the training center. My dad and Go-Man quickly help me move my stuff into the tiny living room-kitchen of the dorm I would be living in. I'm going to be sharing the place with 3 other girls. They are practicing at the trainee center now, so I probably won’t see them until late tonight or tomorrow morning. Since it’s the summer vacation now, I am given a key card and told to report to the trainee center tomorrow at eight in the morning to start my training.
 

My dad and stepmom leave soon after as they have to pick up Se Mi from daycare, and Go-Man shows me the room I’ll be sharing with one other person. It’s tidy enough and the other person has left me half the space on the rod-like thing that seemed to be the substitute for a closet. I quickly hang up my clothes there, and put away other important stuff in the one empty drawer of the dresser in the room. The room itself is quite small and has no windows. It has a small desk with a table-lamp, and a bunk bed. The bottom bunk has not been made so I assume that it’s taken by my unknown room-mate.
 

I eat the kimbap stepmom made for me for dinner and go straight to bed after showering. I’m not expecting to get much sleep over the next few months so I want to get all the sleep I can when I have a chance. I’m not the most pleasant person to be around when I haven’t had my eight hours of sleep. I’m pretty tired from all the nerves so I fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I’m finally free...