A/N: First things first, I'd like to thank the two people who're possibly reading this. Unless you're here looking for the chapter update in which case allow me to direct you to the previous chapter which is the actual update. You're welcome. Bye now!

Okay, so here's my spiel. It's a little long cuz I'm in the mood to write after a really long while so bear with me.

I have my moods that come and go as they please. And since I published the last chapter here I’ve been in a slightly depressed, uninspired, very insecure mood, to put it lightly.

What happened is that I came across a few amazing, mind-blowingly well written stories here on AFF that I couldn't help but binge-read and immediately started comparing my own writing to them, never mind the fact they are totally different genres and writing styles. These people are amazing writers and I really look up to them. I can only hope that I can one day write even one-tenth as well as they do. Their words just… make me feel things, y’know? When I tried to work on my own story after, I found I couldn’t write anything that didn’t seem like meaningless, useless nonsense that was just a waste of space on AFF (Is that even an issue?). Like there's no point in writing when I know it's not going to be even half as good as other people's stories. (I grew up in a country where being first was everything. If you did something, you had to do well.)

But then I read a couple of stories that weren’t well-written or have amazing, mind-blowingly epic storylines but still made me feel things inside, and I realised that it doesn’t matter if my story isn’t the most original one out there. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t have a lot of views or subscribers or comments. What matters is that it makes people feel things. Hopefully not things like annoyance, disgust or pity at my poor writing skills, but good things like happiness, warmth, joy, and maybe some anticipation for the next chapter? Now, I have absolutely no idea if my story actually does that since no one’s ever said a thing about it, but I’m going to pretend it does. Because I couldn’t keep writing this if I didn’t.

You know, when I first started writing this story, I thought I was writing it solely for myself. But now I realise how stupid I was for ever thinking that. Really, if it was all just for my satisfaction, why would I even bother posting it here? If the readers’ opinion didn’t matter, why would my heart throb with joy everytime I log on to see a new subscriber? Why would I become giddy with emotions when I see each precious comment? Comments are beautiful, really. Now that I’m on the other side, I know how much of an impact they make on the author’s mood. I feel like a dog begging the owner for attention and treats. It’s a little pitiful, almost, the way my ears perk up every time I log in, hoping for comments and subscribers. And then my ears droop right down when there’re neither. But sometimes I see that my favorite author started a new story or updated a story and that has me happily wagging my tail again as I run off to enjoy them (and thank them in comments! Hint hint!) Anyway, now that I’ve unloaded most of my innermost thoughts and feelings onto perfect strangers over the internet (and feel completely vulnerable to boot) I’m going to go read some new stories and pretend this never happened.

We cool?

Good.

Also, I've requested a poster from a graphic shop I've been following for a while so there's that to look forward to. For me, anyway. I'll be uploading another chapter (the Sehun POV one) when I receive the poster so maybe for you guys too?

Phew. If you've managed to make it all way here, you deserve cookies. Since I have none on hand, here's something better (maybe?). I wrote this a while ago when I'd read a couple of y stories and tried to work on my story after. Enjoy!
 

“That’s exactly how not to do that step. I’m amazed that you can still get it wrong after practicing it for so long.”

Does it make me mentally disturbed if I derive pleasure from imagining Oh Sehun being painfully tortured in a number of very creative ways? The one thing that pleases me most about these flights of fancy is that he is rendered incapable of speech in all of them without exception. Really, he is going to get himself killed with that mouth of his someday.

“And that’s why I’m practicing…” I mumbled, trying to hold on to the last dregs of my patience.  I’m so done with his unsolicited commentary on my dancing. I had been quietly minding my own business in the practice room our group had ‘claimed’ as our own. The others had already left after our nightly group practice session. Jun had pointed out a few parts I could improve and I’d been working on them when this rude brat had walked in without knocking.

He’d looked surprised but had quickly settled down against the mirror to watch me practice once he learnt I was practicing for the showcase. I could only assume he’d come here to practice as well since he was dressed for comfort in sweats and a hoodie. I’d even offered to switch rooms if he was particularly attached to this practice room, but he waved the offer away and instead entertained himself by poking fun at my dancing skills, or lack thereof.

“Let me show you. This is how you do it, peasant. Watch and learn.” He surprised me by doing the move I was trying to carry out. I stepped to the side and watched him move, even as he continued with the rest of the routine. How did he get all that just from watching me a few times? No wonder he’s already a professional…

I tried to see what was I was doing wrong, but I kept getting sidetracked by his flowing movements that I couldn’t help but watch him as he worked his magic. By the time he was done, I had forgotten all about trying to watch his movements. I was just watching him dance and trying to keep my hormones in check. When he added a few embellishments to the routine in the form of a few hip-s and crotch-grabs here and there I couldn’t take it anymore. I threw off the hoodie I was wearing and strode up to him and grabbed his hoodie to pull him down to my level so I could push my lips against his. He was startled at first by my sudden actions but as soon as he got his bearings, he pushed back harder and snuck his tongue into my mouth, taking advantage of my open mouth. We eventually ended up against the mirror, panting for breath as we each tried to outdo the other in dominating the kiss. He pulled his hoodie off, leaving him in his black wife-beater which made his pale skin really stand out, even more. I moved my hands from around his neck to his waist, brushing my fingers against the bare skin I found there.

He let out a gasp of breath at that and pulled me up harder against him before breaking away from me. He gave me a long, smoldering look that I returned as best as I could. He seemed to come to some kind of decision because he suddenly gave me a sloppy kiss on my lips before pulling my t-shirt to the side and nuzzling against my neck. I shivered in his arms from the pleasure and threw my head back to give him more space to work with. He seemed intent on what he was doing and I didn’t question it. I just wanted him to keep doing whatever it was that was giving me these amazing sensations all over. He a spot on my neck and bit it lightly, on it as the spot turned red. He alternated between and biting there, moving onto a different spot higherup once he was satisfied with his work. He did this until i snapped and dragged his face back to mine for a kiss. I needed more…

He pushed me down to the floor and leaned over me, sliding a hand under my tank top. He massaged my bare waist, making me arch against him in an unspoken need for more. Luckily, he seemed to know that I was at my limit and was just reaching for my pants when he stilled all of a sudden. I was just about to protest, when he quickly pressed a hand to my mouth and turned his head towards the door, as if listening for something. I writhed under him trying to get his attention back, but he suddenly stood up and straightened his clothes, pulling me up with him. He quickly pushed me into the tiny closet, throwing my stuff in after me. I didn’t have any time to even ask him what was going on before someone entered the room.

Well, that escalated fast… This is what happens when I force myself to work on the story when I was still reeling from full-on feels from a story I’d been following on AFF. And maybe spent a little too much time ogling Exo pics on tumblr. Pure wish-fulfilment. Ah, well! I’ll take it. ;)

And just so you guys aren't confused, this bonus has nothing to do with the actual story... I just got side-tracked and ended up here. Oops?