What the hell am I doing here, I question myself as I knock on the door, fidgeting uncomfortably when nobody opens the door even after I knock several times. I call the last dialed number on my phone, hoping the person who landed me in this mess in the first place picks up soon. I’m this close to just dumping the bag in front of the door and leaving by now.

“Yes?”

“I’m outside the door. Can’t you hear me knocking?” I reply through gritted teeth. I’m beyond irritated but I still don’t dare be rude to this person. He’s too intimidating and I definitely don’t need to owe him another favor that he can hold over my head and have me running all over town on his errands.

“Who do you think we are? We can’t just open our door whenever someone knocks. Do you know how many sasaeng fans we have? Just stay there for now,” he hangs up on me.

This rude, insufferable little -

“Good evening, Sunbae-nim,” I greet politely when the door in front of me opens to reveal D.O. Sunbae in all his (non)glory.  He’s the one who called me up an hour ago to cash in his favor, which I had no choice but to obediently go along with. I had to fight my way in through the horde of fans waiting outside the apartment building despite the fact that it was already past eleven at night. They even shot me looks of suspicion when I made my way in and I had to make a pretend call to a non-existent friend who supposedly lived in the building to let her know I was there to prevent them from lynching me for consorting with their beloved Exo Oppas. Jesus, how can a group that’s just debuted be so popular? Really, I have to bow down to SM’s marketing department.

“Here’s the things you wanted. I don’t owe you any more favors now, right?”

“Sure, let me check this first,” he said, disappearing back into the dorm, leaving me at the doorstep. Should I follow him inside or stay here ? What if one of their crazy fans manages to get inside the building and sees me here? I’ll get torn apart!  But dare I risk stepping inside and angering the bipolar idol? Gah, which is the lesser evil?

While I’m wrestling with my dilemma, D.O. Sunbae comes out again, bag still in hand. “What are you doing? Come inside quickly.” Well, I guess that answers my dilemma. I nervously step into the entrance-way, letting the door swing shut behind me.

Truth be told, I’m really curious about how these successful idols live and what their day-to-day lives are like. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that they all started out at the same place I’m in now - a trainee. I wonder if I’ll ever be in their place one day, so popular and successful that I can’t even step out to buy my own midnight snacks…

My musings are interrupted by D.O. Sunbae as he moves further into the small living room. “Sehun-ah, are these the ones you wanted?” he asks said person who’s sitting on the couch, game controller in hand. Sehun takes the bag from his hand to inspect the items within.

“And where’s Jongin?” he asks.

“In your room. And I wanted the honeydew flavor bubbletea, not chocolate, hyung!” he whines, narrowing his eyes at the other.

D.O. Sunbae shrugs and turns to me, “Didn’t I tell you to buy honeydew?”

Wide-eyed, I quickly pull out my phone to check the list Sunbae had sent me earlier. I walk towards the sofa and the phone out at them after opening the message.

“See! It says chocolate, so I bought chocolate!” I say, angry at being unfairly accused, especially after having to go all the way to a particular store (that apparently had the best bubbletea in all of Seoul) to pick up bubbletea for them when I could have been using the time to practice my routine for the showcase. God knows I need all the practice I can get in!

“My bad then,” he turns to Sehun, “You kept switching back and forth so I must’ve gotten confused.” He shrugs again. “Kai!” he yells, walking towards one of the doors to the side. Sehun, on the other hand is observing me with interest now.

“Did you owe Kyungsoo hyung a favor? What did you do?” he asks, already sipping from the bubbletea he did not want just a few seconds ago.

“Supposedly,” I mutter, a bit nervous at talking to the idol who always looked larger-than-life on-screen. In fact, the whole situation is surreal, to say the least. When I had imagined meeting idols, I thought it’d be by running into them at the trainee center or some SM thing, not because one of their scary- members is ordering me around on errands in the middle of the night. And just how did I end up in their dorm again?

“So what did you do?” he asks again.

“I just said that Sun Mi Eunni’s acting was really good! And may or may not have implied that it was even better than D.O. Sunbae’s... It’s not like I was trying to insult him.” I say, trying to explain the situation. I’m still not sure exactly what I said that was so offensive to D.O. Sunbae. Is he really sensitive about his acting or something?

Sehun, on the other hand, is sniggering to himself, one hand over his mouth.

“You got caught then, I guess,” he lets out, after having controlled his amusement somewhat, “He probably made a big deal just so he could wring a favor out of you. He likes to corner people into owing him favors, you know. I think Baekhyun Hyung owes him the most right now, among the members.”

“So it’s not just me? He does this with everyone? Is he… Is he…?” I trail off, not sure what I want to say.

Sehun snorts again, almost inhaling one of the tapioca pearls, “Yeah, it’s normal for him. Says one never knows when a favor from someone might come in handy. Even I’ve gotten caught one too many times.”

I stare at him, trying to wrap my mind around the fact that these are the boys that seem so charismatic on stage. Hell, even the few times I’d seen him at school, he’d seemed different from now. He stares back nonchalantly and I look away, blushing slightly.

Our conversation (if it can even be called that) is interrupted by D.O. Sunbae returning with a slightly darker-skinned guy trailing behind him with a puppy expression on his face.

“But Hyung, I really want to eat it!! Please∼! Just this once, hmm?” he pouts, pulling at his sleeve with both hands. D.O. Sunbae rolls his eyes and looks at the heaven, as if asking for patience.

“I got it, just stop whining already!” he huffs out, sounding exasperated. “Here’s your bubbletea.” He takes out one of the bubbleteas in the bag for himself and throws the remaining one to Kai.

“You, can you please go and buy us some mango and chocolate chip mint ice-cream?” he asks me entreatingly.

I think it over.

“Sorry, but no. Sunbae, I don’t owe you any more favors, right? And it’s getting late too, I need to practice.”

“Yah, how can you say that when a Sunbae is asking for your help? I even said please!” he asks, pretending to be insulted. Hmph, I’m not falling for that again. Two can play at this game.

“But I already did you a favor because you’re my Sunbae! I went all the way to that specific shop to buy the bubbletea for you. But if you really need my help then I guess I could help you out, seeing as you’re my Sunbae and all,” I reply.

“Goo-”

“But,” I interrupt him, “in return, you would owe me a favor. How about it?” I get my phone ready to record. Meanwhile, the other two are watching us with amusement, sipping at their bubbleteas as if they have nothing to do with the situation. Really, the only thing missing is popcorn.

“You- I-” D.O. Sunbae sounds flabbergasted, probably shocked at my audacity. I’m hoping that either he’ll go for it, in which case he’ll owe me a favor, or he’ll let it go since I’ve already done him the favor, in which case I won’t have to interact with him any time soon. So either way, I get off easy. I know, I’m impressed at my quick-thinking too.

“Hyung! I really, really want the ice-cream!” Kai pipes up.

“Me too!” Sehun pouts, even throwing in some cute aegyo.

D.O. Sunbae looks like he wants to throttle them both.

“Fine. Fine, let’s say I owe you a favor then,” he says, surprising me, since I was almost certain he would refuse. He turns to the other two, “And you’ll owe me a favor each, of course.”

“Wha-? No, hyung, that’s not what we meant…”

“Then you don’t want the dessert?”

“Of course we do, but it’s not like you’re going out to get the dessert yourself either!”

“I’m the one who’ll owe her a favor, though. So it’s only fair this way. Decide quickly, you want the food or not?”

“Fine, I give up! I want the ice-cream and I already owe you so many favors, one more won’t make much difference.” Kai is the first to break.

Sehun huffs, but gives in when Kai shoots him a look. He nods sullenly at D.O. Sunbae to show his agreement. D.O. Sunbae records on his phone just like before and I hurry to do the same on my phone. I hadn’t actually expected things to come this far, but now that they have, I can only go along with it. They give me a list again - ice-cream (mango, chocolate chip mint, coconut) and more bubbletea (honeydew, taro, peach).

“Who is she anyway, Hyung? How do you know her?” I can hear Kai asking behind me as I head towards the door.

“It’s a funny story. I met her at the shooting for the new web drama with Sulli-”

I shut the door behind me and stand in the hallway for a minute, trying to collect my thoughts again. I just met half of Exo-K. In their dorm, of all places. And I’m going out to buy them ice-cream and bubbletea, after having already bought them one round of bubbletea earlier. I pinch myself, trying to wake up. Nope, doesn’t work. Sigh…

Resigned to my fate, I go through the whole shebang all over again. Exiting the building stealthily, buying the ice-cream and bubbletea (from the corner store this time, thankfully) and making my way back to the dorm unit. I don’t bother knocking this time, instead calling D.O. Sunbae to let him know I’m at the door. I hand him the bag and the loose change left over and he checks the bag to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I inwardly scoff - as if I would be careless about that, especially since it would mean another trip to the convenience store!

Finally satisfied, he opens his mouth to say something, “Thanks. Want to join-”

“Can I leave now?” I burst out at the same time, shifting from foot to foot impatiently.

He looks slightly surprised but covers it up quickly, nodding to indicate that I was free to leave. “Thanks for your help tonight.” he smiles at me. And it’s not the incarnation-of-evil smile from last time either. It’s a really sweet smile, and I almost forget the ordeal he’s just put me through.

Whoa… He should definitely smile like that more often. He looks so approachable and kind! No wait, he shouldn’t - god knows how many innocent souls would fall into his trap if he smiled like that all the time.

I wish him a good night, and quickly make my way to the trainee center, mind already on my dance routine for the showcase.

************

“Whoa, why do you look like a zombie? Did you even sleep last night?” Mi Ran asks me as I drop into my chair with a huff and plop my head on the desk with a groan.

She reaches over to poke my cheek when I don’t answer.

“Mmngh…” I moan unintelligibly, burrowing my head in my arms, trying to ignore her poking.

“Min-aaaaaah,” she drawls, unceasing in her efforts to communicate with me.

“Argh, let me sleep! I only got two hours of sleep last night, or should I say this morning?”

“What were you doing? Did Kyungsoo Sunbae send you on an errand again?”

“No, Satansoo is the one who owes me a favor now. I was practicing for the showcase.”

“Jungmin, we still have time before the showcase, and you’ve already improved so much! Don’t push yourself too hard…”

“Yeah…” I bite my lip and turn away from Mi Ran, pretending to nap. She doesn’t understand… Then again, how could she? She already has something that she’s amazing at. She is like a whole different person when she’s dancing that it’s hard for me to believe that she’s still just a trainee. I, on the other hand, have nothing right now. Sure, I might have a great voice, but my singing skills are still above-average at best and my dancing skills are not as sharp as they used to be when I devoted all my time outside of school to practice them. Now I’m forced to divide my time between school, the draining trainee schedule, my individual lessons, and still somehow make time to perfect my dance performance on top of that.

Just because we have the showcase coming up doesn’t mean we are exempt from the trainee assessments. And I can’t forgive myself if I don’t do my best at either one of those. I can’t bring myself to give up on my dancing just because I’m supposed to be a “singer” now. Especially when I still have so many doubts about that… No, I have to do this the only way I know how. Sheer stubbornness and hard work. That’s how I’ve always perfected my dances and that’s how I’m going to tackle it this time as well. And if that means I get even less sleep than usual, then so be it.

I sit up straight with a sigh and pull out my books as the homeroom teacher enters the classroom. Luckily, we have fewer classes these days thanks to the showcase and Mi Ran and I head to the practice room after classes to practice as a group. I can tell that we’ve really come a long way as a group and the dance looks really good. Jun is a hard mistress to please though and she points out all the individual mistakes without mercy. We run through the dance countless times before she deems it enough progress for the day. We just drop to the floor in exhaustion, gasping for breath.

“Min-ah, you’ve really improved a lot! Good job!” Jun comments as she throws a water bottle at me. I smile at her gratefully. All the sleep I sacrificed seems worth it. I can really see the improvement in my performance, especially when we practice as a team.

“We are almost there for our individual parts but I want us all to practice together from now on. We need to have the synchronized moves down pat. It’s a key point in the choreography. She pulls up a video on her phone and we all crowd around her to watch. It’s a music video with a group of boys dancing in complete sync with each other.

“Infinite!” I squeal in excitement. What, I’m a fan, okay?

Jun shoots me an amused look but doesn’t say anything else. When the video ends, she looks at all of us.

“That’s the level we’re aiming for.” She says with a totally straight face. We just stare back at her.

“Um, Jun, I know you have high expectations for this performance but you know that that’s a music video, right? It can’t be done live…” Se Ah points out timidly.

Jun just pulls up another video, this time a live performance of the same song. By its end, Se Ah looks speechless.

“But, is that really something we can do? They’re professional idols, for god’s sakes!”

“We can do it. If it’s us, we can do it. And we need to aim for the stars, so that even if we miss, we’ll land on the moon.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” Mi Ran whispers so only I can hear her.

“Yes, but the moon is closer to Earth than the stars so doesn’t it make sense to aim for the stars that are higher up?” Jun replies, having heard her anyway.

Mi Ran and I just exchange looks behind Jun’s back.

“I can see you guys, you know. We’re in a room with mirrors everywhere.”

Oops. Busted…

“Anyway, I’m confident that we can do this, so let’s set up a time and place to practice everyday.”

“It’ll need to be late night though, because we three have our trainee schedules after school… And the practice rooms are all full by then,” I remind them.

“Maybe we can use one of the practice rooms at the main building,” Mi Ran says.

“Is it okay for us to go there?” Jun asks, looking doubtful.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Besides, you two are SM trainees too, and we can just say we’re practicing for an assessment if anyone asks. They don’t usually pay that much attention, and there aren’t really that many people there at that time of the night anyway.”

So we decide to meet at a cafe near the SM building so Mi Ran could let us all in. Once that’s done, Se Ah updates us on the costumes.

“My dad’s willing to sponsor the costumes as long as we tell people they’re from his store if anyone asks.”

‘What? That’s really amazing, but I somehow feel like we’re mooching off of you…” I say, feeling a little awkward since I’m not really close to her yet.

“Don’t even worry about it, her family is totally loaded!” Jun laughs it off as she hooks an arm around Se Ah. “Ah, really, I have such a useful friend!”

“Yah, are you friends with me just for my daddy’s money?” Se Ah pretends to be offended, though we can all see the corners of curling upwards.

They bicker some more until school ends and we all head to our own schedules while Se Ah goes to hang out with some friends until it’s time to meet up for practice later. Sigh, lucky her…

Speaking of friends, I should probably message Sun Mi Eunni and see how she’s doing. It’s been hard to see her at home since she moved to the main building...

************

We manage to sneak into the main building easily enough. It’s strange to be here for some reason after my head-spinning audition, and I feel like the old man will appear any moment and kick me out for being no good… Of course, no such thing actually happens and we practice in one of the practice rooms that are a whole lot nicer than the dingy old rooms in the trainee center. They are bigger for one, and much better lighting too. We’re used to the routine now  and are well into one of the practice sessions after school (and trainee classes) when someone enters the door without knocking and we all stop dancing to turn around in surprise.

An older guy is standing there with some CDs and papers in hand, looking just as surprised. “What are you kids doing here? I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

We all look at one another, not sure what to do or say since we’re technically trespassing and could get in a whole lot of trouble for this. Surprisingly, Mi Ran steps up and quickly pulls the guy outside the door.

“I’ll be back soon, just stay here, guys. Please.”

This was of course an impossible task from the beginning what with us being teenagers and having enough curiosity to kill a million cats, we all rush over to the door as soon as it swings shut behind her, and open it just a crack so we can see what’s going on outside. Yes, yes, I know we’re eavesdropping, and that it’s morally wrong and all that jazz, but it’s our friend who’s in trouble here. We need to know exactly how much trouble so we can all start making up for it!

They’ve relocated to a distance so we can’t really hear what they’re saying but the guy who barged in is facing us and we can see him opening his mouth to let out a tirade of questions. Mi Ran cuts him off with something while wringing her hands and we see him close his mouth slowly in surprise and shock. He seems to shake his head to clear it and looks at her suspiciously before folding his hands. He seems to be asking her something and she nods before quickly pulling out her phone and showing him something.

We are all equally surprised when he suddenly blanches and his skin becomes a pallid white that cannot be healthy for him. He quickly bows to her and seems to be sputtering nonsense when she bows back deeper and tries to placate him. She says something and he nods fervently before bowing again and running off in the opposite direction. She stands there for a minute, sighing to herself.

We quickly rush back to our places when she starts to turn around and exchange glances with each other. What was that all about? And more importantly, were we in trouble or not? We look to Mi Ran for answers when she enters and she just tells us that she’d explained the situation to him and he’d been very understanding. We nod our heads in understanding but can’t help giving each other looks when she isn’t looking. That is definitely not what we saw out there. Mi Ran sure does seem to have a lot of secrets. First about knowing Oh Sehun, and now this...

That reminds me, what is the deal with Oh Sehun? I saw him today in the corridor when I was on my way to the infirmary for some headache medicine during class-time. He seemed to have just arrived at school and I gave him a greeting to be polite since I had technically met him the other night at their dorms and he was a Sunbae from the same company. The rude jerk completely ignored me and passed me by as if I was part of the damn furniture… Jeez, are all the Exo boys so rude or is it just the ones I’m forced to interact with? Though Kai seemed to be okay when I saw him the other night.

But then again, I didn’t speak even a word with him so what would I know? Whatever, this just makes it easier for me if I don’t have to bother greeting him then. I have other, more important things to worry about. Such as the lesson I have with Inna Eunni tomorrow where I know she’s going to make me sing in the park again. It was nerve-wracking the first week and only slightly better than that last week so I’m still shaking in my boots at the thought of doing it all over again tomorrow. I’m sticking with it though since I have decided to overcome this stupid fear. But it’s easier said than done… Sigh…