I keep my eyes closed as I hold the final pose for a few seconds longer, just enough to leave the perfect impression on the judges in front of me. This isn't my first, or even second time auditioning for a trainee position at an entertainment company. It isn't even my first time auditioning for this particular company. I’ve been doing this since I was 13 after all.

         I could probably be considered an audition veteran by now, at the age of 17, compared to the others around me. Most of them are in the 11-16 age range. Of course, there are always the handful of older girls who hope to overcome the very real barrier of their age through their talent and skills. While I respect their will and drive to achieve their dreams without giving up, I really hope I will be selected this year so that I can avoid being part of that group next year. I’m not at all confident that my talent in dancing is enough to make up for my age if it comes to that. I am after all, nothing if not realistic. I know my chances of being selected as a trainee diminish every year as my age increases.

          I am well aware that entertainment agencies like to recruit their talents early on so as to train them in a variety of aspects and most importantly, figure out who would be able to handle the stress of constant media exposure and lack of privacy in their lives. They would be pouring ridiculous amounts of money into the new groups after all, and wished to create groups that could debut successfully and actually stay successful.

          When I was younger and knew less about the world, I had auditioned for most of the companies which had any successful artists, hoping against hope that that was the year I would finally be able to escape. But now that I’m older and (somewhat) wiser, I have realised that most companies do not have the capability to put out new groups like the top ones do. And even if they did risk debuting a new group, they probably wouldn’t have the necessary connections or resources to make sure that the debut was as successful as it could get. Those who do manage successful debuts from smaller agencies are either really lucky, or really talented. So since last year, I’ve only been auditioning for the top 3 companies - SM, JYP, and YG.

          I open my eyes and smile at the judges as I stand straight in my spot. I am currently at the second round of the SM auditions for the dancers. We'd just finished the freestyle part, the bane of my existence. For me, dancing is not natural in the way it is for some others who move their bodies to the music as if they were born for that purpose alone. I have to practice, slave away in the dance studio for hours on end, before I am able to execute the dance moves to perfection, the way they were meant to be. Which made the freestyle part of the auditions my weak point as I was not able to prepare a routine for it in advance and would have to do my best with whatever music we were given.

          I have been working on my free-styling for the past year with Sung Jae Oppa, my trainer at the dance studio I have been going to since I was 12. This is the round I'm usually dropped from the auditions, and I've taken extra care this year to be as ready as I could possibly be for it. And here I am, waiting for the judges to react to the performances of the five hopefuls that stood in front of them. They start with the person on the far left and give their opinion and comments to each person one by one. They would be announcing who was invited for the final round at the end of the day.

          I'm nervous as hell, waiting for my turn and again try to focus on pleasant thoughts. I recognize one of the judges - Oh Joo Won, according to the placard in front of him- as the one who had actually smiled at me at last year's audition and told me that I needed to work on making the transition from one sequence of steps to the next more smooth. I had kept it in mind when I practiced and Sung Jae Oppa had commented on the improvement positively. Now I can only hope that the judges think so as well. The girl next to me looks like a pre-teen and is positively shaking with nerves. She was told to work on her foot movements and complimented on her grace otherwise, especially for someone so young. It's my turn next.

          Please, God, I pray.

Author's Note :

Hello, readers! So how do you like the first chapter? I know it's short, but it seemed like a good place to stop. I'll be posting up the next chapter tomorrow so it won't be a long wait. And the chapters seem to be getting longer and longer as I go, which is probably a good thing. Comment and let me know what you think of the first chapter! :D

Love,

Prathyu