Pairing: moonsun

Rate: PG13

Word count: 1,960

She usually wasn't the type of person to be awake in the middle of the night staring up at the night sky. Specially since their schedules have been a mess recently, although all the members enjoyed the stage and performed with all their hearts - sometimes they needed a break because quite frankly their energy wasn't everlasting.

She sighed as a gust of cold wind blew by and she shivered as she wrapped her arms around her torso providing herself with a bit of warmth. She would usually be asleep by now - not aware of anything or anyone for she was a heavy sleeper but countless thoughts kept swirling around her head, making it impossible for her to fall asleep. 

She's been worried lately - most often than not - about her members and their condition. Being the leader - Kim Yongsun knows that she has to put up a front - she has to pretend to be strong but sometimes she cracks and now all her worries were directed towards one particular member of their group.

That being Mamamoo's rapper and Yongsun's deongsae - if only by an year. She's been neglecting the younger girl behind the scenes lately. She knew of that. She knew that it was wrong but Yongsun's heart could only take so much. 

They goofed off on stage, they gave the fans numerous moments filled with fanservice overflowing with what the fans liked to call them lately - moonsun. 

She didn't like it. The fact that the fans went crazy whenever the younger girl looked at her in a way only she could understand. Or whenever Byulyi so much as uttered a greasy comment towards her - her heart would flutter and she knew that the fans were feeding off of those moments Byulyi often initiated. 

But it hurt. 

It hurt because Byulyi liked to play with her. She liked to see Yongsun's reactions so she often said many greasy things to her for that sole reason. It hurt because Byulyi doesn't only do it to her. 

No.

Moon Byulyi was the type of person to treat everyone nicely, even if that kindness most often than not looked liked flirting. But when the younger girl does start to flirt, Kim Yongsun can't help but feel a stabbing pain in her heart. 

She was supposed to be the only one that Byulyi treated like that. Was it so wrong for Yongsun to want to be the only one for Byulyi?

She sighed as she pushed her hair back and looked up at the shimmering of the stars and she sighed.

She was very well aware of the fact that on stage and on screen it looked like she didn't welcome Byulyi's skinship nor her flirtatious comments. But in fact all she ever wanted to say to Byulyi was that she loved her.

It may not be the way Byulyi expected but it was a loving that only Kim Yongsun understood. 

It doesn't help the fact that Moon Byulyi loves to do and say things that makes Yongsun question if it's only dedicated to her. If her words are only for her to hear or if her actions are only for Yongsun to experience. She wanted it to be true.

But she knew it was all an act. Giving the fans what they wanted to see and keep them wanting more - that's what it was - a game. 

And Yongsun was always on the losing end of everything. 

As tired and cold as she was she couldn't go back inside. It would be impossible to fall asleep now that Moon Byulyi was the only thing inhabiting her mind - rendering her hopeless.

She sighed once more before leaning her elbows on the railing and supporting her head with her hands. 

She doesn't know when her feelings started - be it in the middle of their game - or offstage where they were the only ones responsible for their actions and not influenced by the fans, able to do and say anything they wanted. 

She knew that she was gone the moment she felt the surge of jealousy arise in her whenever she saw Byulyi and Wheein interacting on stage - specially on their Piano Man performances.

She often dreaded the ending because she knew that it was their time to shine - their time to do fanservice, their time to fool around and Yongsun did not look forward to Moonbyul doing things to Wheein that she's never done to Yongsun.

She had realized that she was jealous.

And that she was a goner.

She had long since had feelings for Byulyi.

She heard footsteps behind her and she knew that it was none other than the girl occupying her entire being. She felt a blanket wrapping around her bare shoulders before she felt Byulyi's warmth at her side.

"What are you doing out here at this time, unnie?"

Yongsun could answer her truthfully but that would require her explaining her unwanted feelings she held toward the younger girl and Yongsun wasn't ready to say it out loud nor did she want Byulyi to know.

"I was just looking at the stars."

Byulyi smiled at her before wrapping a thin arm around her shoulders and pulling the older girl closer to her body before whispering for only them to hear, 

"Why are you looking at the sky when you have your star right by your side?"

Yongsun couldn't even give her usual reaction and instead remained quiet unable to meet the younger girl's gaze. 

Byulyi turned to face her but Yongsun's hair was covering her face so instead she hugged her tightly from behind, feeling the way the older girl's body tensed up and she hurriedly unwrapped her arms from around Yongsun's waist and instead wrapped the blanket around the other girl's body. 

She then stood next to her, her elbows resting on the railing as she played with her bracelet and waited for Yongsun to say something - anything. She just didn't want to be enveloped in this awkward silence, the tension between them growing more and more with each passing second and Byulyi was growing impatient.

She didn't know what she did to deserve this cold treatment form the older girl. She didn't know what changed between them but she suddenly noticed that Yongsun wasn't reciprocating her hugs nor giving her usual reactions to her comments and she wondered where it was that she went wrong. 

She's been obvious - she's done everything in her power just to make Yonsun notice that what she felt wasn't just friendship. It had scared her at first but now what scared her the most was losing the older girl for a reason she doesn't even know of. 

It was terrifying how their friendship had changed in the span of a few weeks and how their flirty interactions were soon turned to bitter comments and it was strange because they never fought about anything so it was unexplainable how they started drifting away.

Byulyi doesn't want to lose her. 

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I told you I was just looking at the stars."

Byulyi remained quiet as she shuffled her slipper clad feet and moved closer to the older girl aware of the way she tensed up just slightly. 

"Did I do something wrong?"

Yongsun turned to face her, staring at the way Byulyi's eyes flashed with confusion before insecurity took over. She wanted so much to tell Byulyi just what she has been doing wrong this whole time.

"No."

"Then I don't understand why you're treating me this way. I don't get why your so distant - when just a few weeks back we were inseparable."

"It's nothing. I'm just stressed."

"That doesn't explain why I'm the only one you're treating this way - you still treat Wheein and Hyejin the same."

Yongsun remained quiet as she grabbed the ends of the blanket and wrapped it around herself wanting to put up her defenses in anyway she could. Feeling her walls crumbling and feeling her heart pounding against the lock wanting to be freed from its cage and for a brief moment Yongsun was willing to grant it it's freedom - but it was short lived.

"I love you, Yongsun unnie. But it feels like you're mad at me for something that I am not even aware of. I don't want to lose you, we have to stay close together for the sake of the group."

Yongsun could feel her anger bubbling at Byulyi's words - she knew it was true. 

"For the sake of the group?! Are you even aware of what I'm going through just for the sake of our group? Are you? I'm sacrificing everything I feel just so our group doesn't fall apart! And do you even realize that?"

"Why would it fall apart?"

Byulyi questioned as she stared at the older girl whose hair was covering her face once more and she moved closer aware of the fact that Yongsun didn't move away from her this time - it surprised her to say the least. She extended her hand and pushed Yongsun's hair behind her ear before making her face her properly.

Tears were streaming down her face, her nose a bit red as she finally registered the soft sniffling coming from the older girl. It wasn't the first time she saw the older girl cry but this time it was different because in some way Byulyi knew it was her fault.

She felt a pang in her heart before Byulyi wrapped her arms around Yongsun and at the sudden contact she felt Yongsun break down completely. Her arms clutching tightly at the fabric of Byulyi's shirt, her head burrowed against Byulyi's neck eliciting goosebumps to sprout all over her skin but she withheld the feeling of unease and embraced the older girl even tighter.

"I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did - I won't do it again I promise."

For the next few minutes all that was heard were Yongsun's broken sobs and Byulyi's breathing in the quiet night. 

Finally the older girl spoke up, her voice stuffy as she said, "How can you promise to not do something you aren't even aware of?"

"I just want you to forgive me, I just want to see you feel better and for us to go back to normal..."

Yongsun buried her face further in the crook of Byulyi's shoulder and her neck, breathing her in before mumbling her name, "Byulyi..."

"Yes?"

Yongsun took a deep breath before her grip on the younger girl's shirt tightened as she whispered, "We can't go back to normal -"

Byulyi tightened her grip around the shorter girl her head resting against Yongsun's own as she remained quiet - she swore she heard her own heart breaking slowly. Falling to pieces and it hurt.

"- because I'm in love with you."

It was said in a whisper but Byulyi felt those words against her neck, felt them sink into her skin before trailing into her heart and she sighed. 

She felt Yongsun begin to pull away but Byulyi hugged her all the more tighter, her head falling onto the older girl's shoulder before she whispered in her ear.

"Then let's not go back to normal - let's fall in love together... and see where we land."

Byulyi loosened her grip, allowing the older girl to wipe away her tears and stare at her in bewilderment. Before a blush adorned her cheeks and she looked down, playing with Byulyi's shirt before she looked back up.

"Let's fall."

Was the only thing she said before she let go of the blanket keeping her grounded and grabbed the back of Byulyi's neck crashing their lips together before they both felt themselves melting away. 

Falling...

Falling - through the night sky.

Falling into a love only Moon Byulyi and Kim Yongsun understood. 

Falling for each other.

stay healthy and love freely~

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