Genre: romance.
Characters: BlackPink members.
Type: M-rated.
Notes:  element.
Reviewer: Minah.
Chapters reviewed: 8 (approx. 7500 words).
Requested on: Dec 31, 2017.
Request completed on: Jan 2, 2018.

picked up

Title (7/10)
The title goes accordingly with how the story is going right now. It gives a sense of improper cultural standards, which turns out to be true. The relation of the title with the story is strong. However, it seems to be lacking uniqueness. As many stories out there have and are touching the topic of cheating, this title is considered cliched and unremarkable out of its own story, I suppose (-3).

Description & Foreword (6/10)
Your description and foreword combined are good enough to keep readers interested. However, when I read all of the current chapters, I found out early that the description was not that helpful. It only proves to be somewhat relevant in the first chapter. Jennie and Jisoo are indeed a braced couple, while Lisa and Rose are a happily married one. Even so, I do not see how having an everyday fight would make it a miserable marriage. Therefore, "miserable" was an exaggerated expression, to say the least (-1).
Starting with the second chapter, the description appears to be misleading, even (-3). It shows in chapter two that Lisa and Rose do have their mishaps, too.
I notice that you have Lisa and Jennie as the main characters based on the description since they are the "subjects" while Jisoo and Rose are "objects" part of the sentence. This unequal share of importance appears to be helpful as to which characters I, the readers, and the story should focus on.
For the shortcomings in your description, I suggest making a few changes, so as not to confuse the readers. Maybe also enhance the relevance of the story with the description, which I see you did a great job in the foreword.

Characterisation (15/30)
As far as how I see the story is going, I will focus on Lisa and Jennie. They are also more defined and interesting as characters than Jisoo and Rose. Actually, Jisoo and Rose do have their own traits that I could tell apart, even though they are still weak to leave a distinct impression on them (-3). I believe all four are subject to develop more as the story process.

Lisa is more on the teasing side, playful, bright, and carefree type of person. She can be impatient at times, for instance, when Jisoo interrupted Lisa and Rose having . Her reactions and the way she communicates with other characters were stable until the latest chapter (chapter 8), where she appeared to have a character conflict. I do see her having something with Jennie when she stared down Jennie's lips when she tried to comfort Jennie through her argument with Jisoo. Even so, your writing style (which I'll talk more about below) until chapter 7 influences the readers to think that she is loyal to Rose, who has been married to her "happily" for five years. In chapter 8, she turned 180 degrees and confessed her feelings for Jennie. Even though it was only, it ruins the image that I've grown to like from her: loyal. The event of them doing the in the club quite felt like an opportunity for you to make the two of them stir up dramas. Because, hey, they have been friends for so long now. Why the only rose until now? (-6)

Jennie is, unfortunately, harder to understand. She is Jisoo's wife, getting jealous easily, which shows that she loves Jisoo and wants her mutual loyalty. Jennie is more of a quiet person; she gets worried and frustrated easily. As the story processes, however, Jennie grows to be another person, unfaithful. She cheated on her wife while being sober. This major change in characteristics doesn't develop her character; it confuses readers, it confuses me. Same with Lisa, why not until now, why after five years long, did she finally recognize her for her long-time friend? (-6)

Jennie and Lisa would have been good characters, but with the latest two chapters, they unrealistically turned into different images. If there were more details as to how they have grown to have a thing for each other, I would openly accept those changes. But since it turned out so abruptly, I can't help but deduct some points off.

Plot (17/30)
Even though I have not read many cheating stories on this site, I would say that your plot does not bring anything much to the table thus far (-3). I feel like cheating is more on a serious side, while the story is making it out that it isn't. They can cheat in one day, with Jennie being sober. I don't know how the story will go in future chapters. I get two theories. One, Lisa and Jennie will continue cheating, secretly or openly (eventually divorcing their wives in the process later). Two, somehow they will stop cheating and get back to their peaceful lives as nothing happened. I know this story will process differently, one way or another because there are Chanyeol, Jisoo, and Rose, and maybe many new characters to come, to form other relationships, hardships, and dramas. But it will apparently end up falling to either of the theories. As far as I see it, the plot is all about love life, romance is the main point in this story, so it can get illogical if the characters don't act accordingly with their built-up personalities. This issue happened once during the latest two chapters, as I stated above (-7).

I was surprised to read that Lisa has a . So I searched up the unfamiliar tag "," and found out its meaning. While there have been many fics on this site (which also surprised me), it still appears to go against nature, so the story loses much credibility because of that (-3).

Writing Style/ Presentation/ Flow/ Grammar and Spelling (12.5/20)
Your writing is not captivating (-2) nor disorganized. It falls somewhere in between; it is simple, ordinary and easy to follow. However, I could spot a few grammar errors throughout your story.
- Typos (-0.5):
in chapter 2, you wrote: "Lisa squeezed Jennie's shoulder wnd d her hair, ushering her to sit on the couch on the side." what does "wnd d" mean?
There were also "bith", "whennp" and "dor" in the chapter, which should have been "both," "when" and "for."
- Awkward sentences (-1): there are a few, if not many, awkward sentences in your story. for instance,
in chapter 2, you wrote: "Eyes bloodshot and a sad face can be seen on her face."
in chapter 3, you wrote, "Jennie could only sigh and rolled her eyes abit, soon enough, she helped Lisa in drinking." Also, "abit" is not a word.
I notice there were also some other types of grammar errors (tenses disagreement, the use of tilde mark "~" which is unnecessary and colloquial for fiction, etc.) (-4)

On the other hand, the flow of the story is going fine. I felt no rush in between events; nothing drags too long either. Keep up the good pace!

Total (57.5/100)

★ Reviewer's Notes:
I'm so sorry to grade so harshly, but I couldn't help it. Please voice it out if I said anything that was confusing, misleading, or plainly disagreeable! Thank you for your request. I would stay to see how your story will process in the future, as I see it has potential if you do right things to it. There's a lot of room for improvement, but please don't be unmotivated by this review, as my goal is to keep authors on their right track. I hope my review was helpful. Thank you again! Do come by later after this batch ends!