1. My Lovely Physical Therapist
❀ Daisy ❀ Review Shop (Closed & Hiring)
Genre: romance, medical
Characters: Woohyun, OC.
Type: Non-rated
Reviewer: Minah.
Chapters reviewed: complete (approx. 3200 words).
Requested on: Jan 1, 2018.
Request completed on: Jan 1, 2018
picked up and credited.
Title (10/10)
The title fits well with the oneshot. It sounds and suggests a cute, fluffy story ahead, as it is. If I ever look back to your story again and just by reading the title, I would surely recall what the oneshot was about. There is absolutely no complaint about this criteria. You did a good job making a title for this!
Description & Foreword (7/10)
I hate to mix up the criteria here, but I have to point out that your description is damaged, punctuation and grammar-wise. There are two period marks after your quote (-1). You are using both present tense and past tense in a sentence (-1). Lastly, the sentence in the quotation marks doesn't make much sense to me (-1). I suggest looking at it again and change it up a bit.
Even though it was flawed grammar-wise, the description was neat. It also relates well to the oneshot despite being a single sentence.
Characterisation (17/30)
This is a weaker area of your story. The two main characters do appeal to me individually. However, neither of them impress me, Their personalities are under-developed, partly because the situation they are put in don't give them much chance to appeal more deeply. Therefore, they both fall into the category that we so call, typical (-10).
Woohyun is a mirthful and caring man. As we can see in the oneshot, he cared for his girlfriend enough to worry about her waiting for him at home. He didn't want his girlfriend to worry about his injury. While the girl is diagnosing his injury, Woohyun playfully in the process. His character is defined rather clearly, even though not that evolved. I notice in one scene, he felt worn out so he was hesitant to do the therapy to recover from his injured shoulder. It surprised me, not in a good way, when he asked Hime to postpone it because he had filming the next day (I'm sorry, I'm not able to paste the exact sentence here). He could have handled the situation better, because previously, Hime told him to cancel the filming. I wonder why he would respond like that? (-3)
Hime, on the other hand, is considering, more serious, and intelligent. She was less memorable as a character because she did not showcase more interesting character traits. She seemed like a caring girlfriend (in fact, so much caring) she should be towards Woohyun. I couldn't complain more about her since all she did in the oneshot was trying to heal her boyfriend and being affectionate. She did her part well in the situation she was put in.
Plot (--/--)
There is no solid plot in your oneshot; I would consider it a scenario since pretty much everything spans around their moments together: talking and working out on Woohyun's shoulder injury. Since this is not quite a standard rubric for an (allegedly speaking) scenario, I will omit this criterion.
Writing Style/ Presentation/ Flow/ Grammar and Spelling (16.5/20)
The font and size were comfortable to read. Your writing style is also easy to follow.
For spelling, I could spot a few errors (squeed -> squeezed); I also could see one or two colloquial writing (gonna -> going to) (-0.5).
I also notice that your oneshot tends to fill with wordiness (-3). For example: She quickly squeezed his cheeks, forming an O shape on his lips as she gave it a quick peck, making him laugh at her cute attitude as he stood straight before she moved towards the bed and dropped the container on the bedside table with a thud. It would be fine to cut in into two or three sentences, so as not to confuse the readers.
Total (50.5/70) ~72%
★ Reviewer's Notes:
I know I was a bit harsh with grading. Please do correct me if there is any mis-information I made in the review. Voice it out if I said something you don't agree with. Thank you for choosing this shop, I hope I helped you through this review. You are welcomed to request again for the next batch!
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