If you asked Jihoon if he was happy at this moment of his life he would take a while to reply an unsure yes. He was happy, but not enough. He was lucky enough to find someone great, Yoorim. She was nice, cheerful and lovely. She really cared for him and as soon as he noticed that he asked her out, because it was time to get a girlfriend already. So little by little he fell for her, or at least that’s what he thought. He did love her, but maybe it wasn’t the kind of love she felt for him.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him. How could he not love her like that? She was the best woman he had ever met, she was amazing. Perfect for him. But still, he didn’t feel the spark there was when they first started dating. He cared for her, he really did, but he didn’t see her romantically, like he did before.

He was lying in bed. He woke up before the alarm went off. That sometimes happened to him, and it was probably because he was feeling anxious. He looked to his side, where Yoorim was still sleeping. He smiled sadly, trying really hard to find that lovely feeling he felt before when he looked at her when she was sleeping. He covered his face with his hands.

“What’s wrong with me?” he mumbled.

He wasn’t one to yell his feelings to anybody. He preferred to keep everything for himself, and he knew that wasn’t good, but he wasn’t good at expressing his feelings, so he kept quiet about them, which made Yoorim not notice about what was happening to him.

He got out of bed and checked the time. 6.12am. Ok, it was way too early for him to wake up, but instead he still walked to the bathroom and washed his face, a part from peeing, because come on, he’s still a human and everyone pees after waking up. He walked to the kitchen and he didn’t feel like making anything to eat so instead he took a hoodie from the hanger next to the front door, put it on and wore his sneakers, since he was wearing his pajama bottoms, which were actually a pair of comfy sports pants. He took the keys, his phone, his wallet and headed outside.

He walked taking in the sights of the streets, which weren’t that great, to be honest, he just tried to appreciate them as much as possible. He somehow found himself entering a small coffee shop which was surprisingly open at that time and he sat down on one of the tables by the window. The waiter took his order, which was just a simple coffee and then another customer came in, surprised to see someone there that early.

“Oh” the man said and he smiled at Jihoon “It’s the first time I see someone here this early”

Jihoon gave the man a small smile, not really knowing how to reply to that. The stranger approached the table Jihoon was and pointed at the chair in front of him “May I?” he asked and Jihoon nodded.

The waiter came back a couple of minutes later with Jihoon’s coffee and took the man’s order, which was another coffee with a pastry.

“You know, I come here every morning and I’ve never seen anyone here at this time, so why are you here this early?”

“Hmm” Jihoon said, he didn’t really feel like telling the man it was none of his business, he didn’t want to seem rude “I had an early morning, I guess”

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked and Jihoon nodded “I see” the man nodded and Jihoon took a sip of his coffee, as the stranger before him smiled lightly at him, watching his every move “Do you live around here?”

“Yeah” Jihoon replied and then the waiter came with the other’s order.

“Thank you” the man smiled to the waiter and the boy left “I see, I don’t live that near here, I just like this coffee house, it’s really calm and nice”

“It’s the first time I’ve been here, to be honest” Jihoon admitted and the man laughed, making Jihoon smile a bit, liking the way the stranger’s laugh sounded.

“Oh, , I still haven’t told you my name, I’ve started talking to you as if I was your friend already” the man noticed “I’m Seungcheol”

“Jihoon” he replied.

They talked small talk as each of them finished their coffee and Seungcheol finished his pastry as well. When the waiter came back with separate checks for each of them Seungcheol told him it was all on him.

“It’s ok, I can pay for a coffee” Jihoon quickly said and the stranger shook his head.

“Please, let me, you’ve already made my day by accompanying me while I had a small breakfast before work” Seungcheol explained “It’s a way of saying thank you” he gave cash to the waiter who left with both checks to charge Seungcheol and bring back the change.

“Then just say thank you, really” Jihoon said and Seungcheol chuckled.

“I’m telling you, it’s ok” Seungcheol waved off “Maybe next time you could invite me” he smirked making Jihoon roll his eyes.

“Here’s your change” the waiter came back.

“Oh, keep it, don’t worry” Seungcheol smiled and the waiter bowed.

“Thank you, sir” he said and left with the change.

“I think I’ll be heading back home…” Jihoon said looking at the time, and getting a bit anxious because Yoorim might have woken up.

“Is there someone waiting for you at home?” Seungcheol asked him as both of them stood up and walked out of the coffee house, saying goodbye to the waiter.

“Yeah, I live with my girlfriend” Jihoon said, not very convinced.

“Oh” Seungcheol nodded “Why don’t you seem happy about it?”

“I’ve been pretty confused lately” Jihoon blurted out and he was surprised he even confessed that to a total stranger. The started walking together “Are you going this way too?”

“Yeah” Seungcheol nodded “And I’m sorry to hear that”

“It’s my fault I guess, I don’t think I’m in love with her anymore, but I still love her as a friend”

“Hmmm, that’s complicated” Seungcheol commented “But I guess if you talk to her about that she’ll understand”

“I don’t think I’ll ever talk to her about it” Jihoon admitted “I’m quite reserved when it comes to expressing my feelings”

“Are you?” Seungcheol asked surprised.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it, since I’ve just explained this to a stranger” Jihoon laughed “But I guess it’s just because you don’t know me that much that I can tell you”

“Yeah, I understand” Seungcheol nodded “So is she nice?”

“Why are you asking that? Are you waiting in line after I tell something to her?” Jihoon joked and Seungcheol was suddenly flustered at Jihoon’s question.

“No! Of course not!” Seungcheol quickly said, making Jihoon laugh.

“I know, I was just kidding” he clarified making Seungcheol sigh in relief “Yeah, she’s really nice, that’s why I’m so confused, I don’t know why I stopped loving her”

“Well, I guess that’s not something you can control” Seungcheol voiced and Jihoon nodded in agreement.

They walked in silence for a few minutes until Jihoon stopped at the front door of his apartment complex.

“This is me” Jihoon announced and Seungcheol looked at the building.

“It’s a nice place” he pointed out and Jihoon chuckled.

“Thanks for the coffee, by the way” Jihoon thanked him and Seungcheol waved his hand.

“It was nothing” Seungcheol laughed.

“I’ll see you soon I guess” Jihoon said awkwardly.

“I hope so” Seungcheol nodded “Nice to meet you, Jihoon”

“Nice to meet you, Seungcheol” Jihoon opened the front door, waved Seungcheol goodbye and ran to upstairs, hoping Yoorim wasn’t awake.

What he didn’t see next was Seungcheol turning around and walking all the way back to the coffee house, so that he could find his way to work, which was on the opposite direction of Jihoon’s apartment.

Jihoon got home and closed the door quietly, he tiptoed to the bedroom where Yoorim was still asleep. He closed the bedroom door and he dropped himself on the sofa, thinking about Seungcheol and how nice he was. He hoped he would wake up this early the next morning so that he would meet him again.

And that’s what happened, the following morning, and the one after that one, and the next one. He woke up at around the same time to go to the coffee shop, where he’d meet Seungcheol. They would talk and talk, getting to know each other a bit more. Jihoon learned that Seungcheol worked in business (that’s as much as the man said) and he told the other he worked in a studio, producing music, which Seungcheol found fascinating. He also learned that Seungcheol lived alone, and he was single. Jihoon was quite happy to hear about that, not gonna lie, but he wasn’t sure why he was that happy about it.

Each time Seungcheol would walk Jihoon to his place, without Jihoon knowing, since he didn’t know Seungcheol actually worked on the side of the city. And Jihoon never paid for his coffee.

On the fifth morning of meeting with each other they exchanged phone numbers, knowing that meant taking a step forward in their friendship.

On the tenth morning, Jihoon learned that Seungcheol was the same Seungcheol that almost broke Mingyu and Wonwoo up. He lectured him about it and Seungcheol felt extremely sorry for what he did, so Jihoon accepted the apology. He told him they were now happily married and Seungcheol seemed honestly happy for them. Jihoon wondered what would his friends think when he told them he was friends with Seungcheol. Probably they wouldn’t care, cause they surely wouldn’t have any hard feelings on him.

On the third week of knowing Seungcheol he received a text from the other. The first time they ever texted each other. It was a simple text, complaining how boring a meeting was. Jihoon had chuckled at the text and replied back with a laughing emoticon followed by the words “you chose to work there, nobody made you”. Seungcheol replied back with a “my boss is throwing me looks cause I can’t stop smiling like an idiot” and Jihoon could swear he felt his cheeks heat up at those words “Focus!” was Jihoon’s reply. He didn’t get a text back immediately, he did get one about three hours later: “Sorry I didn’t reply, my boss was about to kick me out. What do you say we go out today? Not at the coffee shop, though. I’ll wait for you there if you want, what time works for you?”

Jihoon smiled at the screen as he entered his apartment. It was 6pm, he just got home from work. He replied: “7pm sounds nice” and Seungcheol texted back: “don’t be late”

Jihoon took a quick shower and got ready. He felt as if he was going to a date. He picked his best casual-but-dressed-up clothes and put them on. He decided to leave his hair down but he styled it a bit messy, so it put the outfit all together. He checked himself on the mirror and smiled. He took his keys, wallet and phone and headed out, walking to the coffee shop.

When he got there Seungcheol was already there. He looked a bit weird without his work suit, but he looked amazing in casual clothes. Jihoon felt like he was a teenager all over again, getting nervous for approaching someone. Jihoon got there and Seungcheol smiled.

“I wasn’t late” Jihoon said.

“I know, you’re just in time” Seungcheol laughed “You look great with normal clothes”

“Thanks” Jihoon blushed and he realized Seungcheol had only seen him with his pajama bottoms and a hoodie. He felt really embarrassed now.

“Don’t get me wrong, you look very cute in comfy clothes” Seungcheol pointed out and Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“Don’t try to make it better, you already embarrassed me” Jihoon admitted “And you look weird without your suit”

“I know” Seungcheol agreed.

“So where are we going?”

“I was thinking of walking around the city would be nice, and maybe we could grab fro-yo on the way” Seungcheol shrugged “Something casual”

“Sounds great” Jihoon nodded “But the fro-yo’s on me”

“Alright” Seungcheol laughed.

They walked and walked. They did stop for fro-yo, which Jihoon paid, as he said and they walked even more, until they reached Han River. They decided to sit down on the steps by the river, to rest as they kept talking and talking, they never stopped talking, to be honest.

Then they found themselves in silence, stealing shy glances at each other. Seungcheol put down his empty fro-yo container and looked at Jihoon.

“Have you told Yoorim about me?” he asked him and Jihoon looked at him. Then back at his fro-yo container and left it to one side as well.

“I haven’t” he admitted and Seungcheol tried to hide a smile. He knew what that meant.

“Have you told her about how you feel?”

“No” Jihoon shook his head and he looked at Seungcheol.

“Jihoon I have something to tell you, and I don’t want you to say anything when I tell you, I just want you to know” Seungcheol said and Jihoon nodded, to let him continue “I really like you, a lot”

“I know” Jihoon smiled and Seungcheol blushed “I like you too, in case you doubted that”

“I kind of guessed it” Seungcheol admitted, making Jihoon chuckle “I really want you to talk to her… I’m not rushing you to break up with her, I know it’s hard, and even more when she’s so nice”

“I know” Jihoon whispered and he looked at Seungcheol, his eyes drifting from his eyes to his lips. Seungcheol saw what was about to happen, but as much as he wanted that to happen, he couldn’t.

“Jihoon, you can’t cheat on her” Seungcheol told him and Jihoon looked into his eyes.

“Seungcheol, I feel like I’ve been cheating on her for days” Jihoon admitted “And admit it, this was a date”

“I know, but if you do what you’re about to do, it’s going to become impossible to deny” Seungcheol reminded him and Jihoon nodded.

“I know” Jihoon whispered as he came a little bit closer to Seungcheol, who unintentionally, leaned in as well, drawn to Jihoon by an invisible force.

“I really don’t want you to make the cheating official” Seungcheol whispered back.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it” Jihoon replied and he pressed his lips against Seungcheol’s. It was a simple kiss, lips against lips, pressing softly. They pulled away and Jihoon didn’t take his eyes off of Seungcheol’s lips, loving the way they made him feel.

Then he kissed Seungcheol again, this time more confident on his actions. He pressed his lips against the other’s, but then he started moving them, deepening the kiss as Seungcheol kissed him back. Seungcheol’s hand went up to cup Jihoon’s cheek.

Eventually they pulled away and they stayed silent for a few seconds before Jihoon spoke.

“Can I say something?” Jihoon asked quietly and Seungcheol nodded, looking at it “I’ve never felt like this when I kissed Yoorim before”

“I’m flattered” Seungcheol smiled and Jihoon pushed him away, laughing.

“It’s getting pretty late” Jihoon pointed out and Seungcheol nodded.

“You should head home” Seungcheol said and Jihoon looked at his hands.

“I don’t really feel like sharing a bed with Yoorim right now” Jihoon admitted “Not after this”

“You have to face her sooner or later” Seungcheol reminded him and Jihoon nodded “But if you want you can crush at my place, I don’t live that far from here, we can take the bus”

“Ok” Jihoon agreed.

They stood up and walked to the bus stop, and they waited for the bus that would take them to Seungcheol’s place. While they were waiting they stood pretty close to each other. Jihoon dared to make their hands brush, and since Seungcheol didn’t move his hand away he took it a step forward and held his hand. Seungcheol looked to the road, to check if the bus was coming, and when he saw it wasn’t he stood in front of Jihoon and lifted his chin, to press a soft kiss on his lips. Jihoon kissed him back immediately, bringing his arms up to Seungcheol’s neck, wrapping them around it as the kiss became a bit longer. Seungcheol’s hands found Jihoon’s waist, pulling him closer.

After they pulled away they shared a small kiss and Seungcheol moved his head checking if the bus was coming, and this time it was, so they pulled away from each other to step into the bus. They paid for their ride and sat on a couple of free seats, and Seungcheol took Jihoon’s hand on his, intertwining their fingers. Jihoon looked at Seungcheol, as the older watched their hands.

Soon they reached their stop and got off the bus, hands still together. Seungcheol guided them until they reached a block of fancy apartments and then it sank in for Jihoon. Seungcheol was pretty rich. His job must pay really well. And he was surprised when he saw the inside of Seungcheol’s apartment. It was amazing, he was speechless.

“Wow” is all he could say.

“Thanks” Seungcheol chuckled and he took Jihoon’s jacket, hanging it on the hangers on the wall, next to the front door.

Seungcheol toured Jihoon around and after they were finished he invited Jihoon to sit down on the sofa in the living room. He offered him a drink, which he accepted kindly. So Seungcheol brought out two wineglasses and a bottle of what seemed really expensive wine.

“Isn’t that like really expensive?” Jihoon asked him and Seungcheol nodded, as he opened the beautiful bottle. He poured some into Jihoon’s and his glass. Jihoon tried the drink and he could feel the money on his mouth, it was worth its price, for sure.

“What are you going to tell Yoorim? She should know you’re not going to spend the night at home” Seungcheol told him and Jihoon nodded.

“Yeah, she’s used to it, though, when I get held at work I always crush at my friends’ place, since they have a spare room. It’s near the studio” Jihoon explained and Seungcheol nodded, then he made a face, telling him to tell her now. So Jihoon sighed and took his phone out. He texted Yoorim telling her he was going to be working all night and that he’d sleep at Jihan’s. She replied with an ok and a smiley face, plus a good night and a “don’t push yourself too hard”.

“Wow, she’s really understanding” Seungcheol pointed out.

“There’s no need to remind me, I already feel like crap for cheating on her” Jihoon told him and Seungcheol looked at him with sad eyes “Don’t look at me like that, it’s all my fault, I knew I was cheating on her”

Jihoon opted for texting Jisoo and tell him he told Yoorim he was going to spend the night there, although he actually wasn’t. He promised him the next morning he’d stop by to explain them what had happened. Jisoo replied with an “Ok, but tomorrow first thing you come here and explain yourself”. He had made a good decision by texting Jisoo instead of Jeonghan, because he knew that if he texted Jeonghan his friend would’ve called him straight away after getting such text. Then Jihoon forgot the two actually lived together and told each other everything, because Jihoon’s phone started ringing. It was obviously Jeonghan.

“I told your fiancée I would explain tomorrow” Jihoon said when he picked up.

“No way, what the hell is going on?” Jeonghan asked.

“I can’t tell you right now, I promise I will explain” Jihoon begged him to stop whining.

“Alright…. I’ll let you be because Jisoo is telling me to, but you better come over tomorrow, I need explanations” Jeonghan told him.

“Yes, don’t worry, see you tomorrow”

“Ok, bye” Jeonghan said and they hung up.

“Wow, they sure care about you” Seungcheol stated and Jihoon nodded.

“Yeah, they’re gonna kill me when I tell them I cheated on Yoorim” Jihoon admitted and Seungcheol pulled him closer.

Jihoon looked up at him and he made their lips meet, melting into Seungcheol’s arms. Jihoon wondered why he had let himself slip into something with Yoorim when it wasn’t actually real. He had looked for what his friends had, he was jealous. They all had someone they could trust and love, someone who was their best friend on top of all, but he didn’t have that, not until he met Seungcheol. During the three weeks they met on the coffee shop they had got to know each other to an extent that it felt like they knew each other for years, and Jihoon felt like he wanted to know more. He wanted Seungcheol to know more about him, and he never thought he would’ve found someone that trustworthy to share all his secrets with. He didn’t even share all his secrets with his best friends, but Seungcheol was different.

He thought how he had started to go out with Yoorim. He had become her friend while they were studying in university. They had to do a project together and eventually they got on really well. She was sending him those signals, she liked him. Jihoon was flattered and overwhelmed, no one had ever been so obvious with their feelings towards him. So he let her show affection to him, until that affection turned into something else. He really cared for her and that made him want to make her happy, because he felt it was his responsibility. Yoorim was happy because Jihoon was with her, so Jihoon kept doing so, but he didn’t realize he wasn’t happy like she was, but he went on with it, because it felt nice when he made someone happy.

But he was happy sometimes with her. He loved when they were watching a game on TV and they would be wearing their ugliest but comfiest clothes, Yoorim with her hair on a lazy bun while they ate chips. Yoorim would be incredibly offended by a bad pass and she would stand up on the sofa and start yelling at the TV. Jihoon loved when he saw her on her natural habitat, as he said. She was so much fun to be with and so natural. At times like that Jihoon would laugh until his stomach hurt and he’d bring her down to sit by pulling from her arm and making her sit on his lap, as he kissed her cheek. She would mumble under her breath how offensive that pass was because now the game was lost and Jihoon would agree with her no matter how wrong she was.

He loved things like that.

But he didn’t feel love for her, he felt love for those moments.

With Seungcheol was different. He loved Seungcheol, he loved him more than those moments he had with Yoorim. And that hurt him so much.

Seungcheol pulled away and smiled. Jihoon kept his eyes closed as he felt Seungcheol’s warmth wrap around him.

“We should have something to eat” Seungcheol pointed out and Jihoon nodded “What do you want?”

“Anything’s fine” Jihoon shrugged and Seungcheol took his phone. He dialed the number of his favorite delivery place and ordered his favorite dish for both of them “Why do you have that on speed dial?” Jihoon and Seungcheol laughed.

“That place is amazing, I always order from there” Seungcheol explained

“Do you text them at night when you can’t sleep?” Jihoon kept teasing, a smirk spreading across his face.

“Of course, they always listen to me” Seungcheol went along and both of them laughed.

Jihoon kissed Seungcheol again, becoming obsessed by the way the other’s lips felt against his. Seungcheol of course kissed him back, and this time their tongues came into action, battling each other in a love war. Jihoon smiled into the kiss, because he knew this was it. This was what you’re supposed to feel when you kiss someone you love. And suddenly he understood his friends, Jeonghan and Jisoo, Mingyu and Wonwoo, Seokmin and Soonyoung. He understood why they kept being cheesy and kissing all the time, even Seokmin and Soonyoung gave up on avoiding kissing in front of their friends, because they couldn’t avoid that, it was something so natural. He remembered the first time they kissed in front of them.

It had been a year and a few months into their relationship. They were all hanging out in Jisoo’s student apartment, since he was the only one living alone, so they always met there. They were all sitting on the floor and Seokmin was sitting between Soonyoung’s legs, as the other drew random patterns on Seokmin’s arms, on their own little world, not really listening what their friends were talking about.

Seokmin stirred between Soonyoung’s legs and he looked at his boyfriend, a bright smile on his lips. Soonyoung kissed his cheek first, making their friends quiet down and look at them, because it might actually happen, they might actually kiss in front of them, for the first time. And they did, because Seokmin couldn’t stop himself. He just pressed his lips against Soonyoung's and their friends held their breath, while Mingyu slowly took his phone and snapped a picture of the moment, just to remember it. All of them cheered and Soonyoung chuckled at their friends’ stupidity, only to then, go back to kiss Seokmin one more time, because he didn’t care anymore.

When Jihoon started going out with Yoorim, at first it felt really good to kiss her, and he liked it, but eventually he got tired of it. It’s not like he stopped doing so, because she still loved kissing him, but he didn’t enjoy it as much.

But now, he didn’t think he would ever get enough of Seungcheol’s lips. He needed them.

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