So many thoughts were running through Taeyeon’s mind as she was making her way out of Jessica’s apartment as quickly as she possibly could, going down the stairs in a fast pace and skipping one or two steps when she could. If someone had been spectating her at that moment, they would’ve been worried that the girl might trip and fall down, which would result in injuring herself badly. At that moment, Taeyeon was thinking about so many things and wasn’t really paying attention about that. She kissed Jessica Jung. She had actually pressed her lips against her’s. It was never her plan to do it, but honestly, she had been thinking about this for a while, how she had been slowly developing feelings for Jessica and how desperately she wanted to kiss her sometimes but she’d always stop herself from doing it.

Ever since they became close, Taeyeon had started seeing the beautiful blonde princess in a different way, one that she knew Jessica wouldn’t like. She had tried to suppress these growing feelings because she knew that the girl was straight and would never look at her the way Taeyeon wanted to, as more than just a friend. But this time, as Jessica was crying and the girl was gently brushing her tears away, her hands touching her angelic face, she couldn’t help it. The urge was way too strong and Taeyeon’s body moved on its own, leaning in and kissing the vulnerable girl. And that kiss was even more wonderful than Taeyeon had expected. Time had actually stopped at that moment and she had felt those millions of butterflies fluttering in her stomach, the ones authors would always describe in the books she’d read. When she was kissing Jessica, it was like nothing else in the world existed. It was just the two of them.

But everything was over in such a short amount of time when Taeyeon realized that Jessica wasn’t reciprocating the kiss. She felt so embarrassed at that moment that the only thing she could do was pull away as fast as she possibly could and apologize for what she had done.

Damn it, I’m so stupid. How could I let myself slip like that? Taeyeon thought after she stepped out of the building. The blonde then ran towards her car and quickly unlocked it, her mind still racing because of what happened a few minutes ago. The second she went inside the vehicle, the girl started it and drove off without giving it a second thought.

She didn’t know where she was going, so she just kept driving in some random direction. Taeyeon was so worried about everything that happened because she didn’t know how things were going to be between her and Jessica from now on. What are we going to do? Are we still going to be friends? Would Jessica avoid me after the kiss? What if she starts hating me? she thought as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

As the girl drove along the street full of so many vehicles, the scene with Jessica replayed in her mind once again. Flashes of the girl’s beautiful face, captivating eyes and lips appeared before her. Honestly, Taeyeon thought that Jessica was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in her life. She was a goddess to her and Taeyeon was willing to do anything just to fulfill the girl’s every desire. But she really had no idea what would happen now, after the kiss, after she ran out of Jessica’s apartment. Taeyeon hated herself at that moment for probably ruining everything they had. Their friendship meant the world to her, but in her opinion, now it would probably crumble down after this. Jessica being straight meant that she wouldn’t return her feelings. That was why Taeyeon hadn’t told her about them and was suppressing the urge to do anything that would imply she saw her as more than a friend. But she made a mistake this time, one which she could never take back…

Taeyeon got home after a couple of hours of driving around the city. She didn’t feel like going to work at all, so that’s why she got back to her apartment. When she stepped inside, the girl was greeted by the usual sight of her roommate Tiffany making out with her boyfriend on the couch. Every time, Taeyeon would just shake her head as soon as she sees them or think something along the lines of “Don’t they ever stop each other’s faces…” accompanied by rolling of her eyes in annoyance. Like, she had no problem with them kissing or whatever, but they were doing it every single day on that damn couch. Taeyeon wondered how they weren’t tired of each other already. But then again, if it was her and Jessica, she probably would’ve done the same, so she was in no place to judge. This time though, when Taeyeon saw them, she just did nothing and went inside her room. She ignored them both completely because she had so many things on her mind, ones that were more important and regarding a certain blonde creative director.   

As soon as she was inside her room, Taeyeon slammed the door behind her and quickly went to her bed. She immediately let her body fall down on it as soon as her knees touched the edge of the mattress. Burying her face in her pillow, the blonde then started screaming as loud as she possibly could in order to get rid of all that anger she was feeling. The girl had been mad at herself for all kinds of things in the past, but it was never this strong. The anger was almost at the point of turning into hate, all because of the fact that she let herself slip and kiss Jessica. I ruined everything… Damn it!

Eventually, Taeyeon drifted off to sleep because she became tired from all that screaming.

It was 6 PM when she woke up a couple of hours later. After opening her eyes, she was greeted only by darkness because the sun had already set. Sleepily, she brought herself out of bed and slowly walked out of her room. Taeyeon bumped into a couple of things along the way, making them fall on the floor, but she didn’t really care. She wasn’t in a state where she could comprehend wha